The Heart of the Demon
by TheLadySutorimu
Summary: After almost losing Rin to death, Sesshomaru agrees to let her travel again with him. Amidst run-ins with wicked humans, scheming demons, and their own personalities, he finds himself inexplicably drawn toward the young woman. Does he dare open his mind to explore this alien sensation, or will pride keep him from considering that all his deepest beliefs are entirely wrong?
1. Prologue- The Locket of Souls

As must be mentioned, all rights belong to the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi- this story would not exist without her and the world she created; I claim no right to the characters or their previously established stories. Also, a heartfelt thank you to the talented McAshe from Deviant Art, who so kindly gave me permission to use their artwork. If you care nothing for back story jump down to the chapter heading; if you're like me and enjoy inspiration explanations, read on.

I'm a firm believer that Sesshomaru is an INTJ personality type (according to MBTI), which is a big part of why he's so difficult for a lot of fanfics to properly portray: either he's a robot that somehow manages to have a hormonal awakening, or he's way too feeling-based and behaves completely out of line with the character established in the show (getting rewritten to suit our predominantly emotionally-motivated populace). As an INTJ myself, it's easy for me to "get inside his head" and craft reactions/reasonings that I believe would be the logical fallout as a maturing Rin reenters his life. People like Sesshomaru can't just fall in love with a snap of the fingers- it starts in the mind with intense analyzing and processing, and slowly works its way down to the heart.

Consequently, this is not some quick-fix one shot story. It's a novel (yes, check the word count) dedicated to the hardcore fans of this pairing who want a realistic, in-depth interpretation of the relationship. I hope you enjoy it; on the whole it turned out pretty well if I do say so myself.

* * *

 **Prologue: The Locket of Souls**

The night was warm, almost unpleasantly so due to the moisture that clung in the air from the rain shower that had passed through earlier. A velvet mantle of the darkest blue was cast across the sky, the garment adorned with thousands of sparkling gems that winked in their beckoning way at the earth below. At such a late hour there was hardly a living soul about to wonderingly gawk at such a beautiful sight, and the lone figure who _was_ present had no desire to stare at the sky for no reason- looking at something simply to appreciate its supposed worth did not count as a reason in his mind.

This scoffer of nature was a tall, thin being, with sharp facial features and an immense aura of power and intimidation that sent any woodland creature within yards scampering for cover. The moon illuminated his long silvery hair and accented further the cold light that shone in his golden eyes; at his side were two swords, and draped over his right shoulder was a long white piece of fur. The midnight traveler was not alone, though his companions were indeed silent. Trailing a short ways behind him was a two-headed dragon, and perched on the creature's back was a little green imp quietly snoring away. The trio made their way through the sparse forest as stealthily as ghosts, leaving no trace of themselves: to anyone who came after, it would be as if they had never existed.

The group reached a small clearing and the figure in front halted. There was nothing remarkable at all about the place to warrant any attention, but the leader remembered with perfect clarity the last time he had been in this spot; it had been with the same companions who stood behind him now, but back then there had been one more who traveled at his side. Not a single flicker of emotion crossed his face as he gazed another moment at one particular worn log, but he did feel the smallest twinge of melancholy somewhere in his chest region. With a puff of disgust he turned away and continued on through the forest, but somewhere in the recesses of his mind he heard the crackle of sticks in a fire….

* * *

"There! That should be enough to keep it going for a while," the little girl declared, tossing an armful of small branches onto the little mound of orange tongues before her.

Something she'd thrown into the fire apparently greatly agreed with it, because the flames briefly leaped much higher without warning and threatened to engulf her face and arms.

"Rin, you foolish child! How many times have I told you to _immediately_ jump back the moment you've added fuel to the fire? Lord Sesshomaru will have my head if you burn your face off while I'm around."

The tiny green demon who had previously been lounging between the roots of a nearby tree was now hopping up and down angrily as he admonished the child in his grating high-pitched voice. Rin was nonplussed and simply plopped onto a log, pointing her hands and bare feet towards the flames to get them nice and toasty.

"You must start behaving like a proper young lady! If Lord Sesshomaru were here right now he'd probably-"

"I am here, Jaken."

The toad imp jumped higher in fright and whirled around to face his master. "Milord! I-I did not hear you approach! I promise that I was simply, ah, uhhh…."

He got no further in his groveling. The vassal was given a swift kick that propelled him into a bush on the other side of the clearing, where he wisely stayed put for the time being.

"Lord Sesshomaru, you're back! I was hoping to see you again before I went to sleep. I wasn't sure how late you'd be gone."

Sesshomaru surveyed Rin as she beamed up at him, and he took a moment to once again mentally shake his head at himself. What had he been thinking, taking a human child under his wing? She'd already gotten herself into a number of situations in which he'd had to intervene to protect her from an enemy or her own foolishness- not to mention the fact she'd been used as a hostage by that treacherous villain Naraku. She was a liability and had inconvenienced him multiple times and yet…and yet he couldn't find it in his heart to send her away. Rin tugged slightly on a sleeve of his kimono, wordlessly inviting him to sit down.

"You've been gone for several days now," she informed him as she began to roast a row of mushrooms she'd speared on a stick. "Did you succeed in finding Naraku?"

The demon beside her replied flatly, "Naraku has moved on to yet another location. He changes hiding places as often as some snakes shed skin."

"Well, there's nothing to worry about," Rin stated with complete confidence. "You'll get him and you'll destroy him because you are the most powerful demon that's ever lived!"

Her innocent faith in him was commendable, especially considering she was human. Sesshomaru had decided he would never understand how a frail mortal- and a young one at that -could be completely unafraid of him and not carry even the tiniest doubts about his treatment of her. She respected him but never once cowered, and she was not the slightest bit disturbed by the fact that he killed or at least maimed others on an almost daily basis. It stymied his otherwise all-encompassing intellect, which was an event in and of itself to wonder at.

He watched as Rin experimentally pinched a mushroom, placed the stick back over the fire, and then withdrew it again thirty seconds later. She blew on the closest fungal bulb several times before gingerly pulling the hot piece of food free and popping it into her mouth. This resulted in a happy smile accompanied by a scrunching up of the eyes, and the process was repeated. The child offered the stick to her companion, but he declined. There was an undeniable…charm about Rin that Sesshomaru could not ignore, though it shocked him to apply such a word to a human. This prompted him to remember an item he'd come across in his travels earlier that day, and instinctively his hand went to a small pouch to make sure it was still there.

He had spent the last three days scouring a nearby mountain for any clues as to the latest whereabouts of Naraku, and of course he was waylaid once or twice by lesser demons who were hoping to find a mislaid piece of the fabled Shikon Jewel. One such interruption came from what turned out to be a little old forest spirit who, once her spell of illusion popped and revealed her to not be a giant ferocious tiger, had fallen prostrate to the ground and begged her life be spared. Seeing she was of no consequence to him, Sesshomaru had sheathed his sword and prepared to walk away; however, the elderly demoness had been so relieved by this act that she crawled after him and insisted on repaying his mercy.

The demoness rushed in front of him and dumped the contents of her bulging sack onto the road, eagerly holding up various shiny trinkets and good luck charms. This vase contained powdered happiness, and this ribbon would make the wearer invisible…she'd babbled on and on until Sesshomaru wished he'd killed her after all. The hag had then shoved a soft pouch into his palm, assuring him that this locket was blank and ready to be written, and out of annoyance he asked what exactly that was supposed to mean. The demoness then explained what she had given him, and with mildly aroused curiosity Sesshomaru took it and left the wench to her prattling.

He now reached into the bag that hung from his waist and felt cold metal press against his fingertips. It didn't seem to be much bigger than a coin, though it was thicker; he withdrew his hand and carefully inspected the gold bauble, making sure it wasn't some sort of trick or anything dangerous. When at last he was satisfied that it would not bring harm, he curled his long fingers around the locket and turned to Rin.

"I brought you something."

The girl paused with the last mushroom halfway to her mouth, surprise and curiosity plainly written in her eyes. Sesshomaru could count on one hand the number of times he'd given her anything, as he had no desire to spoil her, but even then it had only been food he'd happened upon. The demon held out his hand and slowly revealed the locket, gauging his young companion's reaction. An 'ooh' of delight escaped her lips and her eyes fairly danced with excitement, but she did not reach forward.

"Is that really for me?" she asked quietly, staring up at her lord with slight disbelief.

Sesshomaru took one of Rin's small hands and placed the locket there, noting in that brief instant of touch that his hand completely engulfed hers. Rin held the jewelry close to her face to scrutinize every detail of her present, clearly stunned by this unprecedented generosity. She found the tiny button on one side of the disc and pressed it, and the front of the locket flew back to reveal a soft blue glow within. Sesshomaru held his breath and waited: this was what he was curious about, what he wanted to experience. The concept had fascinated some small part of his mind and refused to leave until he'd satisfied it, and now was the moment of truth.

At first he heard nothing, and the demon lord wondered if this toy even worked. Then his keen ears detected the faintest of notes beginning to drift out of the locket, and he focused his full attention on them. Music rose from the enchanted piece in Rin's hand, a melody that was slow and wandering and held an air of sadness to it; it was beautiful yet haunting, painting in the mind's eye a picture of a lonely spirit drifting through a gray world of twilight and solitude. As the music reached a rest a new tune was introduced, and its contrast was as stark as day to night. This strain was happy and carefree, bounding over meadows and bringing light to the darkest of places, tugging gently at the listening heart to follow. It was nothing but sweet loving care, bringing rest to the weary and kindness to the furrowed brow.

Sesshomaru cast a covert glance at Rin and saw that she was entirely spellbound by the song, her small face reflecting the blue glow and her eyes large with attentiveness. Well, this had been an interesting experiment- the demon paused his thoughts as he detected a shift. The first line of music was coming back, and it was intermingling with the second. It was still the same tune, but it had changed from minor to major; the second song was reshaping the first, replacing sorrow with joy and filling it with hope. The first song retained its character but was somehow different, in ways that words couldn't quite describe, but against the odds the two songs wrapped around each other to become one mesmerizing experience. They complemented perfectly, and by the time the melody had started to fade away it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.

Silence at last returned and stayed for several minutes. Rin was still gazing at the locket in wonder and awe, and Sesshomaru was mulling over the deeper meaning behind the music. He had no intention of telling Rin how this thing worked, as it would be highly embarrassing to discuss, but inside his own head he was thoroughly debating the subject with himself freely. Could this little piece of ensorcelled metal really do what it claimed? Or had the old hag merely been lying and the locket's melody composed by its creator?

"Lord Sesshomaru?"

Rin was looking at him now. She was clutching the locket tightly and holding it to her heart, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What is this?"

"It's called a locket of souls. I obtained it from a demon who had no further use for it."

"Whose souls are they?"

Sesshomaru waved the question away. "It is inconsequential. I do not need such a bauble, but I thought it might occupy some of your time, especially when you're alone."

The glowing admiration was back in her eyes. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru. You are too kind to me."

The demon stood and prepared to walk away. "Eat the rest of your dinner and go to sleep. We're setting out early."

"Yes, milord."

Rin was soon obediently curled up beside the dragon A-Un, the locket now around her neck but open to sing her away to dreamland. Sesshomaru watched as the dying firelight danced across her angelic face, and noted the way his dragon protectively regarded their surroundings; she'd made her way into the heart of even such a lowly creature as he. Sesshomaru closed his amber eyes and meditated upon the song as it floated across the grass towards him. As the old demoness had informed him earlier, the locket was devoid of music and simply waiting for material to be inserted; when Sesshomaru touched it, the locket copied down his soul and internalized it as song. At that point it was halfway filled, and when it was passed to Rin the object had then read her soul as well and transcribed what it needed to make the second tune.

Sesshomaru had known this was how it was designed to work and he had been curious to "hear" a soul for himself, as he had never experienced such a thing. However, he had not been expecting the locket to combine his and Rin's songs into one coherent piece; he had been caught off guard by the way her song made his more…full and not so sad. Was this the locket just taking artistic license? Or was it possible that- no, he couldn't think such a thing. Yet he couldn't help but wonder: was it possible Rin had such an effect on him that she had changed his very soul? The demon lord's eyes snapped open and he glared at the night sky. No, he was his own master and no one could remake him, especially not a mere mortal.

He shuddered with contempt at the very idea that a human could make him better than he was. Suddenly seized with a desire to get away from these thoughts, he stole across the lawn to the sleeping Rin and carefully gathered her up in his arms. He paused a moment to review her again before gently placing her on the dragon's back, and then proceeded to kick Jaken awake.

"Get A-Un," he commanded the simpering imp. "We're going."

* * *

Sesshomaru glanced back at the dark clearing before the line of trees behind him closed in. It had been eight years since that night here, but he still remembered every line of the melody; Rin had played it almost every night before she went to sleep and any other time she felt like it, so the tune was burned into his memory for all time. Of course he never did tell her how the music had first been written, not even when he left her at Kaede's village to become re-accustomed with human living. There was no need for anyone other than himself to ever know the secret behind the music. A hum of a bar or two of melody escaped him, but it was extinguished with a cough, and Sesshomaru continued on into the night in silence.


	2. Chapter 1- Guilt

**Chapter 1- Guilt**

Sesshomaru was feeling guilty. It was not an all-consuming, gut-wrenching, nail-biting kind of guilt; it was no more than a brief tiny muscle spasm, but even an admission to feeling _that much_ was monumental in his case and would have sent Jaken senseless if he knew. Ever since passing through that clearing two weeks ago, Rin had been on the demon lord's mind more than usual. Though he wouldn't admit it to any soul, he often thought about the girl, whether it was wondering what she was doing right now or reminiscing about something from the past, but she had her place in his mind like everything else. Now, she was popping in and out of his inner vision constantly, and more and more she was accompanied by this sense of wrong on his part.

He knew where at least part of this guilt was coming from. When he had initially left Rin in the care of the priestess Kaede he'd made it a point to regularly visit her, letting her know she was not forgotten and often bringing her lavish gifts (well, lavish by human standards. To one such as he, they were only trinkets). He would let her go on and on about anything of interest to her, walking with her through the woods or watching as she splashed with A-Un in a stream for old time's sake. Around the time she turned twelve, Sesshomaru found himself less and less inspired to detour from his work to visit her, and his journeys to the village began to grow fewer and farther between. Initially the inquisitive Rin had asked him every time he did appear why it had been so long, but over time she gave up when he would give no explanation. Kagome had had even admonished him once or twice for his neglection, but all she'd gotten for her troubles was a cold stare.

For a long time Sesshomaru wasn't sure himself why he didn't want to see Rin as much as he used to. After a while he began to develop a theory as to the answer, analyzing the situation even harder during his rare appearances at the village, and at last came to his conclusion the previous winter. He didn't want to see Rin anymore because it hurt him to do so; in his rarest of lucid moments, he admitted that it made him sad. She had grown up and left childhood behind, and while to humans this was a beautiful thing to celebrate and look forward to, all it served as to Sesshomaru was a reminder that Rin was mortal and would die one day. Seeing her change from a child into a young woman was a visible proof that she could not stay the same, that she would continue to age, and that one day there would be a world where he existed and she did not. He had already lost her to death once, and the experience was unlike any pain he had ever gone through in even the most intense battle; if he continued to spend time with her, he would inevitably go through that agonizing pain again, and he couldn't bear the idea.

It had been almost six months since his last visit to her, and he knew she had to be terribly hurt by such a long absence. Recognizing that he was undoubtedly causing her pain prompted the spark of guilt, but to relieve the guilt he'd have to visit her, which would cause _him_ pain, so he wanted to continue staying away, which caused the guilt to resurface, which made….

 _And this is why I detest anything to do with emotions_ , he thought, frustrated by the cyclical argument.

He had just reached the foot of the mountains and prepared to ascend into the heavens to pass over. Before his feet could leave the ground, he caught the scent of something most unpleasant, and with another sniff he knew its bearer had to be headed straight for him. Hmm, fight or flight? He really had no desire to be bothered by his mangy half-demon of a brother, but clearly Inuyasha was seeking him out. The demon lord gave a long-suffering sigh and turned around to face the field he had just crossed. Jaken happened to be in his line of sight, and the little demon instantly began to tremble, clutching his wooden staff for imagined protection.

"W-what is it, milord? Why have we stopped?" Jaken quaked, no doubt dreaming up possible offenses he had committed in the last three seconds.

Sesshomaru didn't bother to give his minion an answer since he had caught a glimpse of red through the trees two miles away. It wouldn't be long now. In another second a figure burst out into the open, running at top speed through the grass and making a beeline for the party at the base of the mountains.

"Sesshomaru, hold up!"

Jaken spluttered. "Why you impudent little brat! Have you still no respect for Lord Sesshomaru?"

The half-demon took a flying leap and landed mere inches from the green imp. When Inuyasha looked up from his crouching position and saw Jaken defiantly glaring at him, he flicked his forefinger hard between the imp's eyes to send him sprawling in the dirt.

"Well, little brother, how have you come to bother me today?" Sesshomaru asked in a bored tone, staring unblinkingly at the intruder.

"Yeah, nice to see you too," Inuyasha sneered, balling up his fists at his side. "Look, I didn't want to be the messenger any more than you do, but I'm way faster than any-"

"Spare me the bragging and come to your point."

Inuyasha looked ready to launch into a verbal tirade, but retreated as he apparently remembered his mission. "It's Rin."

Per usual, nothing showed on the exterior, but inside Sesshomaru felt his heart stop for a fraction of a second. What had happened to her? Where was she?

"I thought I gave you clear instructions to make sure no harm came to her," the elder demon replied with carefully weighed viciousness.

"Hey, this wasn't something I could save her from, and she makes it kinda hard the way she likes to go off by herself!"

Jaken had pulled himself together after his undignified trip into the dirt and now came forward to berate Inuyasha again.

"If you think that Lord Sesshomaru has time to be bothered with a stupid human-"

"Jaken."

The imp looked up in terror at the amount of ice he detected in that tone.

"One more word out of you and I will kill you with Bakusaiga."

The toad covered his mouth in wordless horror and threw himself to the ground in penance, bowing over and over with mute apology.

"The point is," Inuyasha continued, "Rin got poisoned and she's really sick. Kaede and Kagome have been doing everything they can to heal her. Herbal remedies, spiritual powers, and everything in between, but she's only getting worse." The young demon dropped his eyes to the ground. "I'm not sure she's going to make it."

That was all Sesshomaru had to hear. He didn't bother to give Jaken instruction, or even take the time to fling a parting insult at his brother. Instantly he took off faster than sight for the direction of the village, his thoughts on nothing else but reaching Rin. It only took him a moment to reach the outskirts of the village- though it was a good fifty miles away -but that moment was filled with anxiety and fear. Rin had to survive, she _had_ to: she couldn't just die like this.

 _You know it's only a matter of time_ , a little voice whispered to him. _Even if she lives today, there_ _will_ _come a day when luck runs out and she dies, and you will be powerless to stop it, just as you are now._

Sesshomaru aggressively swiped the air in front of him and angled towards the house. His feet hardly touched the ground before he brushed aside the bamboo mat covering the doorway of Kaede's hut, and was instantly assaulted with the full force of the cloud he had been smelling for the last mile. The pungent odors of ten different medicinal herbs hung heavily in the air, paired with sweat and one or two other unpleasant smells. If the humans thought it stunk in here, they should try having his sensitivities for even one minute. A fire was roaring on the hearth even though it was midday in the summer, and Kagome was wearing some of her strange hot weather clothes from her world.

"Do you plan to burn her alive?"

Kagome jumped at his voice and whirled around, then relaxed. "Oh, Sesshomaru, I'm glad you're here."

The demon didn't even hear her. He had finally caught sight of Rin amidst the piles of useless remedies and clothes strewn about, and it felt like a sword had been run right through him. She was deathly pale, whiter than his own skin, and she reeked of poison; sweat ran in lines down any exposed part of skin he saw, yet she was covered in blankets and lying quite close to the fire.

"It's a cold sweat," Kagome explained as Sesshomaru lowered himself to the floor and laid a hand on the sick young woman's forehead.

Sure enough, Rin was cold to the touch despite all the blankets. Her breathing was labored and shallow, and every once in a while a low moan mumbled from her throat.

"It's all my fault!" Kagome burst out, though she kept her voice low. "I should have been more firm with her and just laid down the law, but I didn't want to rob her of a friend if he was actually okay and she's been so sad…."

Sesshomaru settled the rest of the way onto the floor and continued to watch Rin's face for any sign of her possibly waking up.

"Explain."

"A few weeks ago, Rin met a demon in the forest named Jiri, and of course being Rin she wasn't the least bit fazed about it. She went to see him several times just to chat, because since _somebody_ hasn't been coming around for a while she's been lonely."

"She has you and your other friends to talk to."

"Yes, and she loves all of us, but you left a hole in her life that none of us can fill. There's something special about the bond between you two, and when this other guy showed up she naturally wanted to make a friendship to help ease her loss. Anyway, this Jiri apparently started getting a little friendlier than Rin would like, so she quit seeing him and hung around the house for a few days. Jiri actually came out of the forest to see her, and we were all majorly creeped out; he was this scaly thing with wings and a forked tongue, and Inuyasha was more than willing to cut him up right there but we stopped him."

Kagome paused for a moment, apparently wanting to let it sink in to Sesshomaru that his despised little brother had been trying to do his job after all. The demon lord said nothing.

"Jiri kept coming around, even with both Inuyasha and Sango warning him that if he tried anything they'd be on him in a second." The priestess smiled sadly. "Sometimes Rin's heart is too big, though. She kept telling us to leave Jiri alone, that we'd misunderstood him and he didn't mean any real harm." She choked slightly then, but steeled herself to continue. "Five days ago, when none of us were around, Jiri convinced Rin to come out so he could talk with her, and he led her into the woods. When Rin rebuffed his advances he started getting violent, and when she made it clear she wasn't interested in him in the way he wanted, he attacked her."

A log in the fire fell in on itself, accentuating the point in the narrative. The demon lord never took his eyes off Rin, wondering why she wouldn't awaken even a little.

"I was with Inuyasha when he smelled the blood, and he took off to find Rin. When we got there, Jiri had bitten Rin's neck and was getting ready to…to tear her head off." Kagome looked ready to cry by now. "His fangs were venomous, and since he bit her right in the jugular vein the poison had the perfect entryway to spread fast. Inuyasha raced at Jiri and knocked him off his feet, and while they were fighting I ran to Rin."

Now the tears began to fall, but Sesshomaru refrained from an audible sign of repulsion.

"There was so much blood. I thought she was dead right there, but when I checked she was still barely breathing. I wrapped my scarf as tight as I could around her neck to stop the bleeding, and once Inuyasha had finished off Jiri we brought her back here. Since then it's been nothing but poultices and bandages and bathing and anything else we can think of to keep her alive and cure her. She lost consciousness later that night and she hasn't woken up since."

Sesshomaru brushed a damp strand of hair back from Rin's face. This was his fault: if he had been visiting her often like he used to, she wouldn't have felt the need to distract herself with some inferior demon that had evil designs for her. He sensed Kagome stand but did not turn to observe her.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while," she said softly.

With that she was gone, and Sesshomaru was left with Rin's unconscious form and his own remorse. He wished that she were at least awake in all this so he could talk to her, hear her sweet voice, or even just see her large dark eyes again; he had missed her so much over the last six months, and now he was here but she was still out of reach. For the next few hours he watched over her, placing a warm damp cloth on her forehead from time to time to help with her chills, or spooning an herbal tea into her mouth when Kaede brought it. Jaken arrived with A-Un eventually, though the imp was promptly sent back outside and ordered not to enter the house again. The demon lord hardly stirred from his seat at all, willing Rin to pull through and silently lamenting over the useless Tenseiga. The fact that the sword could not be used twice on the same person was beyond absurd, and Sesshomaru cursed its maker for designing it so.

Hours bled into days, but not a sign of hope presented itself. The only time Sesshomaru left Rin's side was when Kagome would shoo him away so she could give the younger woman a bath, but even then he stayed right outside and came back in the instant it was permissible.

* * *

Kagome stumbled wearily into her home, worn out from another day of both fulfilling her duties as a priestess and struggling to keep Rin alive. She could feel the girl's spirit slipping further away every time she tended to her, and she knew that if something didn't change soon Rin would be lost forever. The sick girl had started convulsing today for some unknown reason, which of course had set Sesshomaru yelling that something be done immediately; between the two of them he and Kagome had restrained Rin and gotten her to stop the violent contortions, but who was to say it wouldn't start again at any moment? Kagome was still staring down at her raw hands when she felt two strong arms encircle her, and a clawed hand stroked her hair while the other pressed her close to her husband.

"Any change?" Inuyasha asked quietly.

Kagome shook her head and buried her face in his robe. She couldn't even gather the words to speak right now; she was emotionally strung out from all of this, and couldn't shake the sense of dread that the whole struggle would turn out to be in vain. Inuyasha clearly sensed her emotions and drew her closer, rocking her side to side and petting her lovingly.

"She'll be okay, don't worry. She's one tough fighter, and with the way she moons over Sesshomaru, now that he's here she'll feel his presence and wake right up. Besides," one of his hands dropped to caress Kagome's stomach, "you've got other things going on that might be messing with your head."

Kagome smiled a little then. She had realized last month that she was pregnant with their first child, and while she was undeniably thrilled, the change _had_ made her a little more susceptible than usual to mood swings and other emotional traumas in general. She lifted her head from Inuyasha's chest and kissed the tip of his nose.

"You're right. Now, where's that dinner you promised me?"

The couple sat down to proceed with their evening meal, and though they tried to avoid it the conversation inevitably turned to Rin's condition, as well as her visitor.

"I still don't get it," Inuyasha muttered, picking at his ramen with far less vigor than usual. "Sesshomaru has always hated humans with a burning passion. How can he be so different when it comes to Rin?"

"Come on, you can't be serious. Think about your dad and mom! He was the most powerful demon alive, and he still fell in love with a human; not to mention, his youngest son picked up this trait and it worked out well for him."

Kagome giggled and poked Inuyasha with her chopstick. He returned her smile but stayed somber, which was a rarity indeed even though he'd been maturing a lot over the last few years.

"Sesshomaru is different," he insisted. "Everything he does concerning Rin is out of character for him in every respect. And even though he's still not showing any emotions, the very fact he's letting us see him hover over her constantly is an admittance on his part that he cares about her, and the one thing Sesshomaru cares about more than anything his keeping up his image and not looking weak."

The half-demon's companion chewed on her wooden utensil in concentration. "Maybe that's just it: maybe his image isn't entirely who he is."

Inuyasha's pointed ears twitched. "Huh?"

"Everything you just listed about him is all external, but what if inside there's a part of him that simply doesn't surface unless it's for Rin? She has some way of bringing this hidden side out of him, but no one else has ever been able to do it, so you just assume it isn't there to begin with." Kagome regarded Inuyasha with shining eyes. "What if Sesshomaru has possessed the capability to love and care all this time, but it just never showed until Rin came along?"

Her husband gave her a slight smirk. "You're not trying to tell me he's this doe-eyed sap deep down, are you?"

"No, no, I think he's every bit as cold as he appears to be. I think Rin adds…another dimension to his personality, but it can only come out for her; if I were the one deathly ill he wouldn't care less. Somehow she touches a part of his soul that no one else can, so of course it would only manifest for her benefit."

Inuyasha scoffed. "I highly doubt he's got a soul, touchable or otherwise."

His wife pushed some rice into her mouth while looking thoughtful. "There's something there, Inuyasha; I'm sure of it. What it is exactly, I can't say, but somehow the great dog demon is completely wrapped around one girl's finger. And you had _better not_ tease him about it- we need to encourage this, not admonish him and make him bury his feelings deeper."

Inuyasha gave her a devilish grin. "Oh, you give me such ideas…."

* * *

Rin stood on a high grassy hill, a strong wind blowing through her long dark hair as thick patches of mist dashed by. The sky overhead was dark with clouds that pressed close with a suffocating presence, and occasionally thunder rumbled in the distance. As much as she wanted to run home, she dared not leave the hill; every time she tried to descend, grotesque demons appeared and attempted to drag her towards the giant black gates that stood at the foot of the jagged mountains. Earlier one had succeeded in grabbing her and getting her halfway to the gates before she had managed to stab his wrist and make a break back to her hill; the ordeal had been terrifying, and more than once she'd thought this was the end. Rin recognized the gates as the entrance to the netherworld, and having been there twice before she had no desire to enter them again this soon.

The young woman absent-mindedly played with the wrapped grip on her katana as she sat cross-legged, watching for another band of demons to break loose. Not too long after coming to Kaede's village, she had realized that she needed a way to defend herself if she was going to live amongst humans, and after a little pleading with Inuyasha, he had agreed to teach her some swordplay. Sango also had a hand in the teaching, especially on the finer points of fighting, since Inuyasha tended to rely more on brute strength and his special techniques from the Tessaiga, of which Rin had neither. While she was no ninja, she'd actually come to handle a blade pretty well and could fend off bandits and lesser demons with little to no help from the others; since she'd become trapped on this hill, she was even more grateful for the training, recognizing with a shudder that she'd have been overpowered long ago without those lessons.

Try as she might, Rin couldn't remember how she'd gotten here. She had been in the forest with Jiri, trying to politely turn down his offers but getting more irritated as he became a little more graphic in his descriptions of his dreams about her. She did remember him turning on her and attacking, but even with her sword he was too powerful and skilled, easily dodging her strikes and clawing her arms and chest with his awful talons. She remembered a blinding pain in her neck that caused her to black out, but that was where she lost the thread; she dimly recalled lying in Kaede's hut while Kagome clutched Rin's neck, yelling something about a tourniquet…or had that been a dream? The next thing she knew she was here, with no wounds visible but demons all around and no help in sight.

The young woman hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She'd called out multiple times for Lord Sesshomaru since she came here, just in case he was passing nearby, but he never came.

 _But why should I be surprised? He never comes anymore_.

She hated to have such a pessimistic attitude towards the great demon, but she couldn't really help it these days. He used to be so good about coming to see her, but a few years ago the visits were dramatically reduced; she was lucky if he even happened to come near the time of her birthday for a while there, and this last birthday he hadn't come at all. Did she bore him? Had his plan in making her live with humans backfired and he now found her too humanlike to associate with? She didn't feel different. If anything, she liked humans even less than she used to. Of course she adored Kagome and Inuyasha and all the others, but the vast majority of mortals did not leave her with a good impression. She had been much happier when her world consisted of simply three other living beings.

What made things even more frustrating was the fact that Lord Sesshomaru wouldn't even tell her why he came so infrequently. Every time she put the question to him, he waved her off or misdirected or something else to keep her from asking. It hurt her feelings, and left her with a lonely ache in her heart that nothing else could fill. Well, almost nothing. With a slight smile Rin reached under the neckline of her kimono and pulled out the locket Lord Sesshomaru had given her all those years ago. She never took it off for anything, not even for sleeping or bathing; the song soothed her heart and made it feel less empty, and gave her hope that her lord would return before long. She still liked to listen to it before bed, thinking about the nights when she heard it while curled up on a dragon's back and looked up at the stars.

She opened the locket now and let the melody envelop her, taking her mind off this barren wasteland and focusing on pleasant memories of her travels with Lord Sesshomaru. Of all the various gifts he'd given her, this was still Rin's favorite; she liked to pretend it had been made just for her, though she had no idea where it had come from or why it was called a locket of souls. She suspected the two different melodies represented the souls, and she had made up countless stories about them and how they met. Even if she didn't know all the details exactly, she at least knew they had a happy ending together; why else would they fade away intertwined?

Rin sat on the hill a while longer until a slavering sound jostled her from her reverie. One of the gargoyle demons was skulking around near the foot of her fortress and looked like he might be considering a sudden charge. With a sigh the girl stood up and brandished her sword, daring the stupid creature to attack. She sure hoped Inuyasha or Miroku would find her soon; she was ready to go home and get some sleep.


	3. Chapter 2- Tears in the Dark

**Chapter 2- Tears in the Dark**

It had been six days since Sesshomaru came to Rin's side, and though he didn't think it possible her condition had worsened even more during that time. Since they couldn't get anything more than liquid down her throat her weight had dropped; her skin was so pale she looked already dead, and every breath sounded so hesitant and dry Sesshomaru wasn't at all sure if he'd hear another one. When the demon lord had stepped outside earlier for the briefest period possible, Jaken was waiting and not-so-subtly hinted that their time could be better spent elsewhere. The little imp had been kicked so hard he flew over the roof of the nearest house and disappeared from sight- he had yet to reappear. As dusk approached Kaede requested a few minutes with the patient in private, and the demon lord begrudgingly accommodated her.

Sesshomaru paced back and forth while he waited, impatience gnawing at his insides like a stubborn parasite. There had to be a treatment no one had thought of, or some magic token that could cure her. Jaken had been sent on countless missions over the last few days to seek out information as to anything that might offer salvation, but he returned empty-handed every time. Sesshomaru would have gone on the search himself but could not bear the thought of leaving Rin; besides, despite the imp's incompetence at times, Jaken knew better than to give his lord anything but his very best efforts. If his servant could not find a cure, Sesshomaru doubted he could have done any better himself.

 _How can I be so useless?_ he snarled internally. _How is it I haven't been able to do_ _anything_ _to help her? Even if I haven't seen her as much lately, I'm still her protector; it's my duty to save her when all others fail._

He stopped as Kaede slowly exited the hut, her old face downcast and her shoulders slumped in defeat. She met his awaiting stare with a mournful expression.

"It is as I feared. Rin's life is all but expired: her body is in the last stages of shutting down, and her heart is almost silent." The elderly priestess looked away. "I'm afraid she will be gone by the morning."

"Are you certain?"

Kaede sighed. "I have seen my fair share of death in my many years, and I know the signs when I see them. There is nothing more ye can do."

Sesshomaru walked to the doorway and paused, but did not look back. "No one is to enter here. Do you understand me?"

"Aye, it is understood."

The demon lord went inside as a familiar feeling stole upon him. It had lingered in the corners of his consciousness ever since he came, but he had shoved it away whenever it approached, telling himself all the reasons why things would finally turn around. Now, however, there was no hope left inside him to fight it any longer, and the cold wave of grief overcame his stoic mind at last; it washed through him with numbing ferocity, cracking through the hardened shell around his heart and flooding it with despair. Sesshomaru stumbled across the floor, removing his armor and swords as he did so, carelessly tossing them aside. He fell to his knees and slid his hands under Rin's shoulders and legs; with all the care of plucking a delicate flower, he lifted her from the floor and pulled her close, wrapping his mokomoko around her cold body.

He sat with his back nestled in a corner, his legs drawn up slightly so he could cradle Rin. He could not look away from her face for anything, imprinting it afresh in his mind so he could never forget it. The longer he looked at her, the more the grief pressed on his heart; it hurt so much he thought it would kill him. It squeezed harder, and in another moment Sesshomaru felt something wet slide down his cheek. In shock, he touched his face and realized the liquid was coming from his own eyes- and more was spilling out. He was…crying? He had never cried in his entire long life, not even when his father died or when he had lost Rin previously; he suspected he'd come very close to it that time in the underworld, but he'd been distracted by the dead wishing to be saved. The tears rolled down his skin and splashed onto Rin's kimono as well as her cheek. He wiped them away from her face, but more soon replaced them.

"Rin, you can't leave yet," he murmured hoarsely, caressing her sweet face. "I…I haven't given you permission to go."

No response was given, of course, and he felt the tears renew themselves as it dawned on him he would never hear her voice again. If only he could hear her laugh one more time, or have that feeling she gave him when he was the cause of her smile. He had been a fool to stay away these last few years, thinking her parting would hurt him less if he was absent; instead all he felt was regret for not spending that precious time with her, when he could have been making memories and treasuring her presence as he had when she was younger. His mind and heart both flogged him without mercy, chanting a chorus of "fool, selfish fool!" He gripped Rin tighter as the sting of his own words lashed him, and he felt as if his entire body would tear in two from the flood that hounded him. After a time the angry waters subsided a little and the tears lessened, but the grieving ache was still there. Sesshomaru shifted a little and sent his fingers through the young woman's hair.

"You've turned out to be quite a beauty, even by demon standards," he stated, attempting to smile but failing. "I don't know when humans are exactly considered to be full grown, but you look it to me." He let his temple rest on her forehead. "I know I told you that you could choose how you would live your life when you were older…and that offer still stands."

Sesshomaru stared ahead, not really seeing anything. He wasn't even sure if he was actually speaking, or if he was just hearing his own thoughts louder than usual.

"You're still welcome to join me, Rin. The choice is yours to make but I…I _want_ you to be by my side again. I miss you. I miss everything about you and everything you make me feel; no one else can do what you do to me, and it's something special I cannot afford to lose."

What was this? Was he rambling? He had always been one of few words, but suddenly they were rushing out of him and wouldn't stop; he half-heartedly thought about getting a grip on himself, only to make the startling discovery that he didn't care. The demon lord felt the tears coming again, and with a small cry of anguish he pulled Rin to his chest, holding her so close he would have been embarrassed by their proximity at any other time. His left arm circled her form as much as possible, while his right hand cradled her head against his neck; he rubbed his head against her hair over and over, faintly catching the scent that made her Rin underneath all the elixirs and poison.

"You mustn't leave me, you mustn't! There is so much of the world yet for you to see, and so much I haven't said. Rin, I know there could never be enough time in your life for me to share all the things I want to with you…but I still want to try." He gave her another miserable nuzzle of his head. "I _need_ you."

He pulled back for a moment and gazed at her, drinking in every detail of her lovely features. Without even thinking about it, Sesshomaru leaned forward and gently kissed Rin's cheek, something he'd never even thought of doing in all the years he'd known her. He drew away a few seconds later in surprise, not at all sure where such an action had come from or why he thought it was all right to do so. He quietly apologized to the young woman and fell silent then, still wondering what had come over him. In time his mind drifted off into the dark that surrounded them, and for the first time in a week he fell asleep, still holding Rin in his arms.

* * *

Rin was beginning to suspect something was very wrong. The whole time she had been on this hill, there had been no change whatsoever in the weather or the apparent time of day; the stormy clouds just kept rolling by in an endless blanket but never burst, and the shadows were absolutely still, growing neither shorter nor longer. The young woman was terribly hungry, though she knew she'd eaten shortly before leaving the house. How much time had passed? It felt like days upon days, but how could that be so when night hadn't fallen once? And why didn't anyone hear her cries for help, not even a random passerby or friendly spirit? Something should have happened by now, but it seemed for all the world as if she were frozen in a loop of time. She didn't see how that was possible, but she'd heard plenty of tales from Kagome and her other friends about the strange situations they'd gotten into in the past; was she trapped in such a place now?

"Well," she declared with a sudden steeling of will, "if change won't come to me, then I guess I'll have to make my own!"

With that she spun around and raced away down the hill in the opposite direction of the gates. She could see heads popping up from the grass and knew her flight couldn't pass unnoticed, but in her new determination she felt no time for fear. Demons charged her left and right, but Rin took each one out with one swing of her katana; time and again they attacked, but she just kept running. After a few minutes she fancied the demons fell back, still watching her but no longer trying to interfere. Rin put on a burst of speed and pushed toward the horizon, all the while wondering where this crazed frenzy had come from. She had just crested another hill when a commanding voice sounded out from behind.

"Rin, stop."

The girl plowed to a halt and looked back, but she wasn't too encouraged by the sight.

"Who are you, and how do you know my name?"

Ascending the hill was a tall woman with cruel features, her smoky gray hair billowing out behind her and her pupilless eyes radiating malice. Rin wasn't sure if she was a demon or an underworld guardian or what, but she definitely didn't look friendly.

"I know everyone's name that comes here," the woman replied haughtily, her nose tipped toward the sky. "This is where souls near death linger for a period of time before either crossing over or returning to the mortal world for a while longer."

"I'm…dead? Again?" Rin asked in disbelief.

The newcomer laughed. "You're so close to it you may as well be."

The younger woman clutched her sword tightly. "No, I can't be. There must be some mistake."

"Look around you, you foolish child. Could such a place as this exist in life? No, you are on the very brink of death, and you will not be stolen away yet again. Give up now and face what lies before you."

 _Give up?_

To Rin, that sounded like a concession that defeat wasn't her only option. This woman hadn't tried to grab her or anything; maybe if Rin continued to resist her spirit could break free back to the land of the living.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I was on my way out when you so rudely addressed me, so pardon me but I'll be off now."

She turned and prepared to run again, but suddenly the woman materialized in front of her. The tall figure spread her arms wide as if she were a wall, and she grinned wickedly to reveal rows of pointed teeth.

"What is there for you in the mortal world? You were lonely and unhappy there; perhaps in your next life you'll at last find someone who won't abandon you."

Rin felt her arms getting a little tired from brandishing her sword so much, and she fought the urge to let her head hang in weariness. No, she could not give in! She had been fine until this thing started trying to plant doubts in her mind; she was still capable of fighting, regardless of whatever spell her enemy might be attempting to cast.

"Lord Sesshomaru did not abandon me," she hissed, "and I still have plenty to live for."

"How will you get back? For all you know these fields are simply unending."

"I'll find a way."

Rin glared at the woman, hoping her eyes showed the fierce determination she felt. The specter did not seem affected, but maybe she was just bluffing. Finally the tormentor slowly bent forward and came close, not even backing away when Rin held up her katana in front of her face, ready to strike.

"What future do you have there?" she asked in a low voice, venom dripping from every word. "Lord Sesshomaru does not care for you as you wish he did, and he never will. He is a great demon, possibly the greatest of this age; why on earth would he want a mortal like you trailing after him?"

"Stop it," Rin choked, feeling tears rising in her eyes.

"What can you offer him? You have no skills to serve him with, no powers to aid him in his endeavors. You are only a hindrance, a fallen branch in the path to trip over. Do you want to be a burden to him? Because that is all you will ever be to him: a bothersome little girl who won't leave him alone. If you really cared about him, you'd let go of him so your spirit can move forward at last and he can be free of you. He's what's keeping you tethered to the mortal world, and he doesn't even need you. So let…him… _go_."

Rin at last dropped her gaze to the ground, still fighting not to give in to the tears. Was she really that much of a bother to him? He hadn't come to see her in a long time, sure, but he was busy and had more important things to tend to.

 _More important things._

Her own words condemned her. She could never expect Lord Sesshomaru to place her higher than building his empire; she was, after all, only human. He had always made it clear he detested humans and found no value in them, so why had she ever thought that he made her the exception? He had just tolerated her for whatever reason, but her use to him had passed, and that was why he'd left her in the village. If he was never coming back, what did she have to truly look forward to?

Even as Rin's world began to crash around her, the breeze carried by her nose a scent she knew very well and loved more than anything. It was the fresh spring rain passing through a grove of cherry trees, mixed with foreign places she did not know, and held just the faintest trace of clean fur; it was all blurred together in one beautiful distinctive scent that made her feel all warm inside every time she smelled it, and in that moment Rin knew Lord Sesshomaru was near. Her head came up and her eyes snapped to attention, all trace of tears gone, and she scanned the horizon intently for some glimpse of him. The woman from the underworld was taken aback by this reaction and retreated a step or two, her smile looking slightly less genuine now.

"The mind plays interesting tricks on you as it reaches the final stage of deterioration," she sneered, but her words were strangely hollow.

Rin wasn't even listening to the woman now. She was concentrating on that scent, trying to figure out which direction it was coming from; after a few more sniffs she began walking again towards the distant horizon, her feet gaining momentum until she was running once more. She could hear the creepy lady following, but the woman still made no physical move to keep Rin from going. Rin began to feel warmer, almost as if Lord Sesshomaru was standing quite close, and his scent was stronger now. Then in the faintest of tones, so quiet she almost missed it, she heard his smooth voice call her name. The sound sent shivers of delight down her spine. Oh, it had been so long since she heard that voice!

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she practically screamed. "Where are you?"

He did not answer her question directly, but he did say her name again. Suddenly Rin stopped as she realized she'd reached the source, even though she couldn't see him anywhere. What did she have to do to find him? The demon-like woman loomed in front of her again.

"You have no way of escape," she crowed.

Rin shook her head vehemently. "You said Lord Sesshomaru was keeping me tied to the mortal world, and you were right; he's leading me home and I'm following, so _get away!_ "

The young woman sliced diagonally at the obstruction in her path, and with a piercing cry the fiend turned in on herself and became a swirling green circle of energy. Rin expected it to dissipate after a moment, but the flat pool continued to whirl there in front of her without any sign of stopping. Experimentally, she stuck her katana halfway in and peeked around the other side; the sword did not come out on the other side, but simply disappeared into the circle. Was this a portal of some kind? She heard Lord Sesshomaru's voice again, and she felt a sudden confidence she'd found her way out. Rin took a running jump and leapt into the swirling light, and instantly she felt a giant shock run through her entire body. The force of it made her gasp, and the next thing she knew, her eyes had flown open and she was looking up into the handsome face of the person she loved more than anyone else in the world.

* * *

At first Sesshomaru was incapable of moving or even blinking. He'd felt Rin start suddenly through his light doze, and when he looked down she was staring up at him with wide eyes; for a horrifying moment he thought she was entering her death throes, but then a familiar smile stole over her face and a little coloring returned to her cheeks.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she murmured contentedly. "I _knew_ you'd come."

The demon lord remained frozen, not daring to believe his own sight. Was she…was she really alive? How was that even possible? He had seen and felt how lifeless she was the night before, and even now he still smelled the poison in her- though admittedly it was not as strong as he remembered it being previously. When he continued to be silent Rin sat up enough to put her arms around his neck and giggled.

"I promise I'm not a ghost. I heard you call me, and I followed your voice home."

Normally Sesshomaru did not approve of Rin embracing him, but currently he didn't even remember this personal rule and gladly put his own arms around her, his mind still attempting to process all of this.

"I thought I had lost you," he said very quietly, almost to himself.

Rin pulled back and let go of him, apparently remembering his rule, but she still gave him a big smile. "Trust me, I thought I might not come back this time." Her face became more thoughtful. "So, were you just passing through…?"

"Inuyasha hunted me down to tell me you were ill."

"When was that?"

"A week ago."

Rin gasped. "How long have I been asleep?"

Sesshomaru added up the time according to what Kagome had told him. "Twelve days."

"Oh, everyone must have been so worried!" the young woman exclaimed, struggling to get up. "I knew I had to be there a long time but I didn't think it had been- whoa!"

She had attempted to stand, but her legs wobbled and sent her backwards instead; her companion caught her and carried her to the mat on the floor.

"You can't possibly expect to walk in your condition," the demon lord admonished, setting the blanket over her. "If you are so determined to greet everyone, I shall bring them."

Rin caught his hand. "Lord Sesshomaru…I'm so glad to see you again. It's been ages."

He nodded but was unsure what to say, so he simply turned and left. Inuyasha was sitting outside, and when he saw his older brother emerge the half-demon instantly stood up; he almost looked as if he were pitying his sibling, but of course that was a ridiculous thought.

"Hey, Sesshomaru. I'm sorry about Rin; I know she meant a lot-"

"She's awake."

Inuyasha's jaw dropped. "Are you serious? KAGOME!"

It was a mad stampede into the hut after that. Normally Sesshomaru would have hung around outside and waited until the crowd thinned to reenter, but he had no desire whatsoever to be away from Rin any longer than necessary. He listened as Rin recounted to everyone her harrowing experience on the doorstep of the netherworld, though he stonily ignored the glances he got from several people when the young woman talked about how he had apparently led her out. He was still trying to ascertain how such a thing could have happened; was her desire to be with him so strong that it could recall her from death? When he held her last night and talked to her, had she somehow heard him, which in turn gave her the necessary drive to break free? Or was it simply that the worst of the poison had at last run its course, and her stubborn soul worked its way back? He very much wanted to know the answer, but was unsure how to get it.


	4. Chapter 3- A Decision

**Chapter 3- A Decision**

Over the next few days Rin was nursed back to health, and everyone in the village agreed it was a miracle of some kind that she was alive at all. Multiple times the girl tried to crawl from bed to steal outside for a moment or two, but she was always intercepted by Sesshomaru or Kaede. On the third morning she begged the demon lord to please allow her outside for just a few minutes for a breath of fresh air, and Sesshomaru at last obliged her. He carried her to a nearby field that was thick with summer wildflowers and set her down gently on a flat boulder; she was clearly ecstatic to be free of the four walls of the house, tilting her face up towards the sky and drinking in the sunlight with a grin. She chattered on and on about anything that came to her mind, whether it was about the new soup recipe she'd invented herself, or the weather, or the crazy capers Miroku and Sango's children got themselves into.

Sesshomaru just let her talk, giving short replies if he was asked a direct question, but mostly he just took in the reality of the fact Rin was sitting there right beside him. In retrospect after his visits he always discounted the effect she had on him, but in wake of her recent brush with death he openly admitted to himself that he honestly enjoyed her company. She made him feel warm and a lot less cynical, and her incessant talking didn't bother him like it would have if it came from anyone else. He felt…what was the word he was looking for? He was _happy_ when he was with her. He couldn't believe he was using such a ridiculous word to apply to his own person, but it fit more than anything else. She brought him out of the seclusion of his own thoughts, yet instead of resenting her for it he found himself grateful to her, which was something he couldn't say about anyone else who dared to disturb him.

The demon lord reflected again on last night and his concession that he wanted Rin to travel with him once more. He very much wanted to talk to her about the subject, but he wasn't sure how to do so without giving away his position on the issue; if she did come, he wanted it to be completely her decision alone. She was still quite impressionable, and he had no wish to influence her choice in a way she might regret in the future.

"Lord Sesshomaru, are you all right?"

Rin was peering at him curiously. Obviously she had picked up on the fact he was thinking hard, and judging by the worry that suddenly crossed her countenance she probably feared she was boring him.

"I was just wondering if you are content in your arrangements here."

The young woman looked down at her hands and began to press her fingers together at random. "It depends how you look at it," she replied slowly.

Sesshomaru waited for her to continue. _Maybe there's room in her heart for consideration after all. To hear her talk of all that goes on here, one would think she'd never want to leave._

"I've made good friends here. Kagome is like the big sister I never had, Inuyasha lets me tag along sometimes when he's got work to do, and Miroku has occupied me with a number of religious conversations that were quite interesting. Sango appreciates my help and company when she has her hands full with the children, and I've even-" Rin colored a little and looked harder at her hands. "There's a very nice young man in the village who's been paying me a lot of attention over the last few months."

Sesshomaru felt his ears twitch just slightly. "I see. Is he by any chance the one who kept coming by the house when you were so sick?"

"Probably. He's very sweet but rather shy, though I can still tell he, um, likes me."

 _Hmm, perhaps not so much room as I thought._

"And do you return his sentiment?"

Rin glanced at him in embarrassment and tried to smile. "Lord Sesshomaru, are you asking me about my love life?"

"I'm trying to ascertain whether you are happy or not."

The girl went back to her hands. "That's just it; as much as I care about everyone here, I still…I'm…."

She bit her lip as she fidgeted, but no more words came. Sesshomaru sensed she knew what she was thinking, but she didn't want to say it. He allowed himself to scoot half an inch closer to her and angled towards her a bit more.

"Rin, you can tell me," he said as gently as he could.

She looked up apprehensively. "I don't want to annoy you."

His eyebrows arched ever so slightly. "How could you possibly annoy me, other than the fact you're not answering me?"

The young woman failed to smile at his attempted humor. "You told me to quit asking you years ago, and I've tried my best to obey ever since."

"Then, I release you from that command."

Rin watched his face for a minute, framing her words carefully before letting them spill out. "I want to travel with you again! I know you said I had to wait until I grew up to decide, but I _feel_ grown up now." She tossed her hair back, looking slightly frustrated. "Who's to say when you're grown up, anyways? Humans just pick arbitrary numbers and declare them to be the age you're this or that, but I know I'm not a child anymore." She clasped her hands and gave him a beseeching look. "Please, Lord Sesshomaru, let me be your companion once again. It's all I've wanted since you left me here, and it's only grown stronger with time; there is nothing else I would rather do."

Well, that answered that question. Sesshomaru regarded her for some time without answering, not wanting to seem too eager in his reply. Of course he wanted her to join him, but he felt obligated to at least give her one chance to back out.

"You would be in danger if you stayed with me. Naraku may be a thing of the past, but other demons and dangers still lie in the world; we would undoubtedly cross paths with some of them eventually."

He had planned to concede then, but unexpectedly Rin dropped her hands and stood up. She looked like she might possibly be fighting tears.

"That was why I didn't want to ask, because I knew that would be your answer. I try to tell myself I'm not, but I know all I am is a burden to you." Her tone was heartbroken. "I'm sorry."

Sesshomaru pulled her back down to the rock. "You should not be standing yet. And I do not consider you a burden."

"Then why did you stop coming to see me?" Rin burst out, standing up again. "Clearly I'm just one big bother, even though I tried to learn how to defend myself so no one felt obligated to protect me. I just attract trouble, and you're saying if I come with you I'll inevitably get in the way, so you're trying to keep me here so that won't happen!"

The guilt tweaked in his chest again. Normally he would have mildly scolded Rin for talking so to him, but she was entitled to her anger this time. He pulled her to the rock once again and gazed out over the field.

"I _was_ avoiding you, Rin, but not for the reasons you think. As I said, I would never think of you as a burden or anything of the kind, so you can put that idea out of your head right now."

He noted the girl blushed slightly at that.

"You are indeed not a child anymore, and that is what pains me. Every time I came, you had changed in some manner from the last time I saw you, and all I could think of was that it will never stop; you are mortal, and you will continue to age and…and one day you will die."

It sounded so callous to say it aloud, but he could not mince words over this. She had to understand the gravity of the situation.

"That is something I do not wish to see, and I determined the only way to avoid that day was not to see you at all. I decided that at least here, you would be safe from most evils and could live to an old age in peace." He sighed. "But recent events have shown that your time could come without warning, and it made me realize…."

Sesshomaru silently struggled for the words that would not come easily. He was very much aware that Rin was hanging on everything he said, and he did not want what he said next to be misinterpreted.

"I do not want to miss another moment of your life, Rin," he said at last. "I do not want my life to have any less of you than the most it can have, and if you choose to spend it with me, well…it will make you that much easier to protect."

She was staring at him, no doubt blindsided by this sudden declaration of concern. Nothing more was said for some time, until at last Rin bowed her head in shame.

"Forgive me for doubting you, Lord Sesshomaru. I should have known your absence came from good intentions."

This was too much. Sesshomaru hesitantly reached forward and pushed Rin's chin up with one of his long fingers.

"No. You must instead forgive me for being a fool."

Now she was really shocked. He had never asked her forgiveness for anything, and he had certainly never insulted himself in front of her. The young woman grasped his hand with childlike faith.

"You really would let me come?" she breathed out, the sparkle returning to her eyes.

"For as long as you want."

For the second time that visit, Rin flung her arms around Sesshomaru's neck. "I will follow you for the rest of my life!" she exclaimed joyfully.

"Not if you keep doing that."

The girl sheepishly withdrew. "Sorry, I forget. When do we leave?"

The demon lord picked her up to take her back to Kaede's hut. "As soon as you are well."

"I'm well enough!"

Sesshomaru let out one syllable of a laugh. "Almost."

* * *

Rin'a hands were shaking with excitement as she rolled up a kimono and placed it on top of another inside her bag. Kaede had finally declared she was completely free of the poison's effects, an announcement that was immediately succeeded by the young woman throwing herself into a frenzy to get packed up. Kagome had been happy to help, and even offered Rin one of those interesting bags called a backpack so she could carry things easier; the bag could even be strapped to A-Un's saddle, so she wouldn't have to carry it all the time if she didn't want to. Rin felt slightly bad about leaving the village when everyone had been so kind to her over the years, but Kagome insisted everything was all right.

"You should do what makes you happy," the older girl had declared in her confident way. "We all want what's best for you, and if you think it's with Sesshomaru, then we support you one hundred percent. Well, maybe not that much for Inuyasha, but he doesn't count 'cause he's biased."

Now, as Rin packed a final kimono into the blue backpack, she felt the doubts starting to creep back in. She glanced across the hut at Kagome, who was busy rolling up some food in a kerchief. Rin coughed and attempted to keep her tone casual.

"Do you think I'm being childish in all this?"

Kagome turned around with a puzzled expression. "Why would you say that?"

Rin shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. I just wondered if maybe you think it's silly of me to want to do this, but you're too nice to say so."

"Are you sure it's not actually you who's having those thoughts?"

Rats, she was too perceptive some times. Rin gave her a nervous smile and continued packing.

"Well, I mean, it _is_ rather unusual. Every once in a while you'll see a human with a demon trailing around after them, but never the other way around; it isn't exactly a lifestyle anyone would willingly choose."

Kagome put down her supplies and walked across the floor to kneel in front of the younger woman. She had a penetrating but kind look in her eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with being unique," she said at last. "Sesshomaru isn't the easiest person in the world to get along with, but somehow you do, and that tells me you're meant to be with him. You came into his life for a reason, and there's still so much you have to teach him: what better way to do so than by staying with him?"

Rin mulled that over. As a child she had never been particularly inclined to believe people when they talked about destiny and things that were "meant to be," but now she wasn't so sure. After all, Kagome and Inuyasha had fought through innumerable odds to be together, and despite all the difficulties they had overcome every last one; could they have done so if they weren't fated to be together in the first place?

 _Not that I'm saying this is that kind of situation,_ she hastily added to her thoughts.

Kagome put a hand on Rin's shoulder. "Go with him, and don't give us a second thought. We all love you, and we'll be thrilled to see you stop by for a visit, but we see how much you care about him; you're only going to be truly happy in life when you're by his side, so why waste time trying to please us? Just come see us from time to time and it'll all be fine."

Rin leapt forward and hugged Kagome hard. "Of course I'll come back to visit! Hanging around with demons all the time will surely make me need some girl talk every once in a while."

They laughed and finished the packing shortly. Rin shouldered the backpack with nervous anticipation, taking in the reality unfolding before her. She was finally doing it! Her greatest dream had come true, and now she could live it every day for the rest of her life. All her friends were gathered outside when she stepped through the door, and she felt her throat catch. It would be strange not seeing them every day as she had grown accustomed to, and she _would_ miss them…but she knew she couldn't have everything in life all at once. She'd had the fortune to enjoy a season of time with them and make some wonderful memories, but now a new chapter was opening before her, and it was one she very much wanted to read. The only way she could follow it would be by leaving them behind: sometimes to experience one aspect of life, another must be sacrificed. Miroku had taught her that, and she intended to apply the concept to the best of her ability.

"Take care, child," Kaede intoned with maternal warmth, putting an arm around her former charge. "Keep your wits about ye at all times, and don't hesitate to tell that demon off if he tries to make ye feel small or unintelligent."

Sango embraced Rin tightly. "We'll miss you. Thank you for all the help you've given me with the children; I couldn't have done it without you."

Rin blinked once or twice rapidly to keep back any hint of tears; she had no desire to leave her friends with the image of a simpering little baby in their minds when they thought of their parting. Miroku gave her a comforting pat on the head.

"You've grown into a lovely young woman, Rin. Don't let any of the young men too close to find that out for themselves; the ones who comment on your looks do not deserve your attention. Trust me, I should know."

"I bet you do, you old pervert," Inuyasha muttered. He turned aside from the group and lowered his voice to Rin. "Listen, I still don't know what it is you see in Sesshomaru, but I can't stop you from doing this." His golden eyes softened just a tiny bit. "Take care of yourself, kid. If he ever hurts you in any way, you come find me and I'll tear him limb from limb."

"Lord Sesshomaru would never hurt me, but I know you mean well." Rin smiled and gave the half-demon a hug. "Thanks, Inuyasha."

"Aw, don't get all mushy on me."

He gently pushed her off and let Kagome take over in the hugging department. Of all the goodbyes, this one was the hardest for Rin. The young priestess really and truly had been a sister to her, and as Rin hadn't had any real family since she was quite young, the connection was special indeed to her. She didn't have the words to properly express everything she felt, but Kagome squeezed her even harder then, and the younger girl fancied that maybe no words were necessary after all.

 _Sometimes her being so intuitive is a good thing._

Rin put as big a smile as she could muster on her face and waved to everyone. "Well, I better get going. I'll see you all soon!"

She waved again and trotted away as a chorus of answering goodbyes echoed behind her; she turned several times more as she walked, waving again and again, wondering if this really was the right decision. She kept looking back until she was over the hill and the village removed from her sight, at which point she faced forward with a determination not to turn around again. She made her way through the tall grass in the direction of the meeting place, but all the while her mind questioned her actions. What kind of life did she expect to have now? She would spend every night sleeping in the open, spending endless days trekking over fields and through woods, all the while accompanied by a silent figure whom she wished would talk but rarely would. Why exactly did she desire this, again?

As she crawled over a fallen decrepit tree, Rin's thoughts wandered through time back to the very first day she laid eyes on Lord Sesshomaru. Even though he had snarled ferociously at her like a wild animal, she was only startled by his reaction; she had felt no fear towards him, only pity and concern. She knew he was a demon the moment she saw his glowing blood-red eyes, but she experienced none of the prejudices that would have instantly swollen up inside so many other people. He had done her no harm, so why should she wish it upon him? He had captivated her immediately, and she felt compelled to check on him regularly while he recovered from his wounds; she wanted to be near him, even though he clearly had no such desire. The young woman remembered still with surprising clarity how desperate she had been to get to Lord Sesshomaru when Koga's wolves were chasing her. Even then, she knew she was safe with him.

Rin reflected on when Jaken had first told her of Lord Sesshomaru resurrecting her. It had been in a fit of indignance on the little imp's part when he thought the girl was being ungrateful to her benefactor, and he had haughtily informed her that she would have been fodder for the wolves had his master not brought her back to life. She remembered Lord Sesshomaru being particularly angry at his vassal for revealing this information, though he never did say why. Jaken assured Rin that it had merely been a test by the demon lord to see if his suspicions about the Tenseiga were true and that it had absolutely nothing to do with her, but she didn't believe it for an instant. The healing sword could not be wielded unless its owner possessed at least some small measure of compassion, so Lord Sesshomaru couldn't have brought her back to life if he didn't already have an inkling of tenderheartedness towards her.

The young woman smiled to herself at the thought. Even when he was lying in the forest wounded and looked away from her with such apparent indifference, she had seen the potential within him. Rin liked to pretend that seeing through a person's exterior to their true nature was a special power of hers, but she never said it out loud to avoid ridicule from naysayers. Whether it was actually a gift or not, Rin had taken one look at Lord Sesshomaru and saw a kind spirit hidden away behind the cold, calculating intellect and ambition to rise to greater power; she knew Kagome had caught a brief glimpse of it once or twice, but even she did not see it as fully as Rin did. Rin saw in him what Lord Sesshomaru himself could not see or comprehend, but she didn't care that she was the only one; she saw his soul untainted by his words and thought it beautiful, and no matter how hard he tried he could not hide it from her.

Rin hopped another log and nodded, feeling better after her reflections. She wanted to be with Lord Sesshomaru because she saw past everything else to his heart, and found it a heart worth loving. Inuyasha and anyone else could make fun if they wanted and she wouldn't care in the slightest; she knew the demon lord better than anyone, and she wasn't going to let people talk her out of what she knew to be true. She came around a bend in the path and spotted a welcome sight ahead.

"A-Un!" she called happily, her walk breaking into a run.

The dragon's heads came up from their grazing to regard her as she came closer. In a moment Rin had put herself between them and held them to her shoulders, ruffling their manes.

"I'm so glad to see you again! It's been ages. Is Master Jaken- there you are!"

She glimpsed the little demon scuttling about near the dragon's feet, and she scooped him up in her arms. The imp struggled and spluttered, but she ignored his protests entirely, planting a big kiss on his forehead.

"You haven't changed a bit, Master Jaken. Are you doing well?"

"The audacity!" the demon screeched, still trying to get away. "How dare you touch me with your filthy human lips! Unhand me before I lose all patience!"

"I'd say you already have," the young woman replied loftily, dropping the imp to the ground. "Where is Lord Sesshomaru…?"

She trailed off as a breeze stirred up and brought the answer to her. She whirled around to look up into the finely-pointed features of the demon lord, wondering if that was a bit of approval in his eyes.

"Your sense of smell seems to have increased," he commented before walking past her.

"I try to imitate you as much as I can," Rin replied truthfully, looking at her feet shyly.

She heard Jaken spluttering again behind her at this, but one glance from their leader silenced the toad. Lord Sesshomaru began walking forward, and as if in a dream Rin followed. She stared ahead at the demon lord's back in wide-eyed wonderment, drinking in her new settings. After all the nights filled with praying and dreaming about such a time, she was finally here; she was walking with him, breathing in his scent when the wind carried it to her and relishing it, while the forest rustled in a lively manner around them and the trees beyond beckoned in a tantalizing way toward adventure. Rin's heart soared up into the clouds that peeked between the green boughs above her head, and she clasped her hands to her chest in a gesture of contentedness.

"Thank you," she whispered softly.

She was sure she saw Lord Sesshomaru glance back when she said it, and she could have sworn the corner of his mouth moved upwards a fraction.


	5. Chapter 4- Forging New Paths

**Chapter 4- Forging New Paths**

Sesshomaru made an effortless dodge to the side as a massive clawed fist came sweeping down towards his head. He flicked his whip of light across the monster's chest, just for the sport of it, and smirked as the creature gave an appropriate howl of pain and frustration.

"You will pay for that, you insolent cur!" the beetle-like demon snarled, his words somewhat slurred by the enormous pinchers protruding from his mouth.

With a pirouette as graceful as any trained dancer's, Sesshomaru spun under another swipe and tore a significant hole with his poisoned claws into his enemy's chest. He could have easily ended this fight before it even started with one swing from Bakusaiga, but he'd decided against it; it had been so long since anyone had presented him with the slightest bit of a challenge in combat, and even if this monster could not provide that it would still offer at least a little amusement. Sesshomaru toyed with the demon a few minutes more, leaping and racing with blinding speed while dishing out the occasional attack, but eventually the game grew stale. The demon lord drew his sword and silenced the beast with one final sweep to the neck, and the pitiful challenger toppled to the forest floor with a crash.

Sesshomaru landed lightly on the ground with his usual aloof dignity after a battle and gave one last spiteful glance towards the creature before sheathing his sword. Ever since the Shikon Jewel had been made whole and cast from the known world, his journeys had become too easy. When lesser demons had possessed fragments of the jewel to make them stronger there had at least been a little more variety in the battles Sesshomaru fought, but now, all he ever came across in his travels were run-of-the-mill demons with hardly any power at all. Granted, it would make forging the path to his empire that much easier, but greater glory would come with slaying stronger enemies.

"Your skills never fail to impress, milord!"

Jaken emerged from the safe hiding place he'd used to view the battle, and now that danger was past he was anxious to make his support known. He jabbered on about his master's greatness until he was at last given a cold stare, at which the imp caught his breath and clamped his mouth tightly shut.

"It's time to move on. Where is Rin?"

"She's probably still pampering herself in the stream," Jaken huffed with disgust. "She was certainly lower maintenance when she was younger."

Sesshomaru turned from his recently-made clearing and pushed through the bushes towards their camp from the previous night. Rin had left some time ago to go about her regular cleaning routine, but he'd expected her to come running after that beast had let out its first bloodthirsty roar. He was just reaching to part the branches that separated him from the water's edge when Rin's face suddenly appeared behind them, and he quickly dropped his arms in an attempt to appear unmenacing, as he knew his unannounced arrival would lead to….

" _Oh!_ " Rin gasped loudly as she came through the leafy cover.

Well, that was better than expected; he had assumed she would scream.

"Lord Sesshomaru, you really should announce yourself when you're coming to find me," the young woman declared as she finished giving her obi a final tug. "You're going to royally embarrass us both someday, otherwise."

Her sweet scent was even stronger than usual since she had just washed; Sesshomaru inhaled deeply to take in the aroma of lotus petals and citrus blossoms, wondering what it was she did that made herself smell so inviting.

"You didn't used to bathe so often as a child," he stated as he turned to head back.

"Are you saying I was dirty?" Rin teased.

"No, merely that you didn't seem to care as much as you do now."

He could practically hear Rin shrug behind him.

"I think it's mainly for your sake, really. It's summertime and we're walking all day, so I get sweaty, and I know you've got a sensitive nose and I don't want to be repugnant, so I try to stay as clean as I can so you won't mind me."

"Rin, I travel with a dragon. Do you think smell is really that important to me?"

The girl laughed and skipped to his side as the path widened. "True, true, but you do have Jaken groom him fairly regularly at least."

Sesshomaru felt a brief flash of gratitude that she had retained enough of her childlike qualities through the years; he had wondered a while back if she would change significantly in attitude as she matured, but she seemed to be the same old Rin. She'd been with him two months now, during which she very quickly got over the idea that she needed to hide her thoughts from him or only talk when necessary. It was flattering how she had tried so hard at first to behave more like a demure lady in his presence, but after a couple reminders from Sesshomaru that she was not a bother when she was herself, Rin had happily embraced her nature and become as talkative and sporadic as ever. She would ambush Jaken with a crown made from daisies, or braid A-Un's manes, and point out to no one in particular all the shapes she saw in the clouds. It was as if she'd never left, and the demon lord occasionally wondered why he had ever thought it was a good idea to leave her in the village in the first place.

Once Jaken and A-Un had been collected the group set off on the day's journey. They traveled through woods and over fields for several hours, only stopping when Rin caught sight of a large village nestled in the valley below and she begged to be excused a few minutes. Sesshomaru granted her the request and she took off down the grassy hill with winged feet, the wind carrying her promises that she wouldn't take long. One change that living in Kaede's village had wrought was that Rin now had an appreciation for a more varied diet than one typically found wandering through the wilds of the countryside; her backpack was filled with foods she bought at marketplaces they happened across, as well as a good supply of something she called "ninja food," a gift from Kagome. She rarely resorted to eating fungi and such from the woods anymore, but as long as she didn't take too much time hunting for this new kind of food Sesshomaru didn't care.

Rin returned twenty minutes later with a slightly heavier backpack, a half-eaten meat pie in her hand, and a wide grin on her face. She beamed up at the demon lord with a delighted expression of thanks, and they continued on their way.

 _That smile_...

It had been Rin's smile that created the first chink in the armor, the thing that made Sesshomaru take note of her as more than just some random human who naively wanted to help him when he lay bleeding in the forest. It was so pure and innocent, so loving- and the fact that he had been the cause of it was so astounding he hadn't been able to even consider the possibility at first. He was often the cause of it even now, something that gave him no small amount of pride, though he pretended not to notice.

The party pressed deeper into the countryside, with Rin singing her made-up songs and Jaken complaining about them in his blustering way. This was Sesshomaru's typical day now, and- while he certainly didn't dwell on the concession -he had to admit it was not an entirely unpleasant way to spend one's time. The young woman who was now attempting to ride A-Un while standing up added something to the demon lord's life, something he couldn't quite put his finger on; she brought a certain dynamic to his every day, turning what could be otherwise mundane into quite entertaining. These musings, along with consideration of other plans and ideas, kept Sesshomaru occupied for the remainder of the day's march until Rin addressed him directly and broke the spell of his thoughts.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru, can't we please stop for a minute?"

He looked around to see what could possibly require such an action. They were traveling across a green ridge, with a blanket of trees spreading out far below towards the mountains in the distance; the shadows were growing long, and a flock of birds rose up from the tall grass ahead as they sensed intruders approaching.

"What is the matter?" the demon lord inquired.

Rin pointed over the land towards the horizon. "Isn't that the most beautiful sunset you've ever seen?"

Sesshomaru regarded the sky with bored indifference. The entire canvas was afire with a bright orange glow, the few fluffy clouds in sight splashed with purple and deep red, but it meant nothing to him. There was no reason for it to evoke any reaction from him; he kept walking.

"Why won't you look at it?" Rin questioned, distress clearing showing in her voice.

"It's just a sunset; it holds no meaning for me."

"It doesn't have to have meaning. You can just appreciate it for what it is."

When Sesshomaru did not respond the young woman realized her words were not having the desired effect, and she scrambled off the dragon to catch up with her lord. She tugged gently on his sleeve and pointed again to the sky.

"Don't you want to commit that to memory? There will never be another sunset exactly like it, ever. You need to remember it so that years later you can recall it and think about the good things you associate with it."

"I do not associate anything of particular value with the sun's daily disappearance, other than the fact that it will be night soon and it will be slightly easier for an enemy to attack."

Rin frowned. "Haven't you ever looked at something simply to admire its beauty? Have you never looked at something so gorgeous or magnificent it made you catch your breath for even an instant, and all you could do was stand and drink it in?"

Sesshomaru stared ahead resolutely. "I have not. I have more important things to think about."

His companion gave him a somewhat disappointed look before turning her gaze back to the horizon. "That's very sad," she replied softly.

She said no more about the matter, but it was clear by her countenance she was still weighing it quite seriously in her mind. Sesshomaru did not ask to hear her thoughts this time.

* * *

Sesshomaru's eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright, every muscle tensed to suddenly spring into action as his golden orbs scanned his surroundings. He had been resting peacefully until something in his subconscious prodded him rather forcefully, insisting he wake up and inspect the dark forest around him. At first glance it seemed nothing was out of place: Jaken was snoozing away on the back of an equally sleeping A-Un, and Rin's breakfast preparations were all neatly lined up by the fire, awaiting to be cooked. The demon lord's eyes narrowed. Her breakfast was present, but Rin herself was not; she always ate first thing in the morning before bathing, explaining that she wasn't worth anything until she had something on her stomach. This morning, however, something had apparently disrupted her routine, and she was nowhere to be seen.

The demon was on his feet in an instant with his right hand resting on the hilt of Bakusaiga, ready to leap to Rin's defense at the slightest provocation. He caught her scent a moment later and swiftly followed it through the trees with all his senses on high alert. A few hundred feet away from the campsite, his ears detected the unique hum of a blade cutting through the air, followed by a slight grunt. Sesshomaru hurried forward and prepared to draw his own sword, ready to strike down whoever dared to try harming his ward. He caught a glimpse of Rin's kimono through the foliage ahead and prepared to burst into the battle, but something stopped him. He sniffed the air again, but it was obvious- no one else was in the clearing in front of him.

Frowning, Sesshomaru stole behind the nearest tree and edged his upper body around so he could see over the bushes. Rin was indeed alone as she swung her katana through a series of moves, her face etched with intense concentration as she cut down invisible enemies. The early morning light was just beginning to penetrate through the leafy boughs above, illuminating the mist around the young woman to a golden haze; with the ethereal shroud surrounding her and her face a wall of grim determination, Rin looked the picture of a warring princess making a ghostly appearance from ages past. Once he had determined there was no danger present, the demon lord relaxed and settled against the gnarled bark to watch the swordplay. He had never really seen Rin use a weapon before, and he was curious to see how she handled it.

It became surprisingly apparent in the next few minutes that the young woman was well on her way to becoming an accomplished wielder of a blade. Her movements were fluid and well-measured, her strikes quick, and her demeanor confident; the only real thing lacking, Sesshomaru noted, was that she tended to stay more or less in the same place. She did not dance away from her opponents or seem to see the need to check her surroundings for new obstacles.

 _Of course, that is something she wouldn't really think of without a physical partner to practice with._

Allowing himself the tiniest bit of a smile, Sesshomaru silently drew Tenseiga and stole into the clearing behind Rin, making sure no twig or leaf gave away his position. He held the sword aloft for a moment before bringing it down towards his target's shoulder, triple-checking himself to be sure it was the flat of the blade facing downward- despite the fact it was a sword which could not cut. Though he kept his face impassive as always, Sesshomaru was caught off guard when Rin spun around at the last second and brought her katana up to interrupt Tenseiga's descent; her warning glare of determination immediately disappeared as she recognized her lord, and she instantly lowered her sword as her cheeks turned pink.

"Forgive me, Lord Sesshomaru!" she squeaked, staring up at him with wide-eyes. "I thought someone was actually attacking me."

The demon lord dropped his weapon as well. "Where did you learn to use a blade?"

"I asked Inuyasha and Sango to teach me years ago. I wanted to be helpful in battle, rather than a liability."

"I imagine you learned more from the demon slayer than Inuyasha; that half-breed does not possess the finesse you show glimpses of."

Rin blushed more at the compliment. "He _does_ rely on special techniques a lot more than anything else."

Sesshomaru pointed Tenseiga towards her. "Let us see if Sango was a sufficient teacher."

The young woman was clearly surprised for a moment, and then with a grin she bowed and brought her katana up to a defensive position. The wind hissing through the grass was the only sound as the two opponents surveyed the other, and then Rin leapt forward with a quick thrust. Sesshomaru blocked and counter-attacked, and they began to exchange blows in earnest. Back and forth they went, swords clashing and swishing as sunlight glinted off the polished blades. Sesshomaru feinted an attack before leaping over Rin's head to land behind her and made a strike towards her back, which she barely blocked in time.

"Move your feet more, Rin. They should hardly touch the ground, not be glued to it," he commanded sternly as he delivered another blow.

"I can't fly at will like you do," the girl returned with a slight grunt.

"You must tailor your battle plan according to your enemy's strengths and weaknesses. You cannot fly, but you are smaller and lighter; use that to your advantage. Keep him guessing where you will go next."

Over the next few minutes, Sesshomaru watched Rin with masked amusement as she tried to integrate dodging and other movements into her fighting style. She could not seem to succeed in leaping aside and making an attack or block at the same time- she could only do one or the other, but not both. If she jumped back while defending, her grip was weak and easily broken; if she put more of her strength behind an attack while moving, her balance wobbled and she teetered on the brink of falling over. Sesshomaru gave her a couple light taps on the arms and legs as they went to show her she was leaving herself open to attack, but he couldn't bring himself to press the advantage every time she unwittingly offered it: she was so determined to show him she was capable in battle, and he had no wish to embarrass her. He had a feeling she only needed a little taste of defeat here and there to spur her on to do better, not a constant reminder of her lack of experience.

He wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow, it became an unspoken agreement that Sesshomaru would join Rin in the mornings for her practice. He had not realized previously that she worked with her sword before anyone else was awake, but now that he knew he naturally woke up sooner so he could find her and give her more lessons. Some days he wouldn't even let her draw her sword, but instead ran her through drills over and over for rolling, dodging, circling, and anything else he viewed as necessary moves in combat. Rin was a willing and eager student, and she didn't give up even when Sesshomaru predicted her path and intercepted her with a cautionary tap time and again.

Bit by bit, the young woman slowly began to get a better grasp on the concepts her teacher was trying to impart. She stood her ground more when she had to block right after coming up from a somersault, and her strikes became less tentative as they emerged from a spinning dodge. One crisp morning when the overhead leaves had almost finished changing from yellow and green to red and orange, Rin was ecstatic after she made a dainty twirl under Sesshomaru's guard and managed to brush his sleeve with the tip of her sword. She was so excited she didn't even try to block his countering move, and she happily tumbled to the grass.

"That was the closest I've gotten to landing one!" she exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "I almost had you, Lord Sesshomaru!"

The demon lord decided to let her think that. "But your momentary victory caused you to lose focus for the ending goal. You do not celebrate your triumph until the enemy is clearly defeated."

Rin could not be dissuaded. "Hisoka should see me now," she giggled, still rolling on the ground in delight.

"Who is Hisoka?" Sesshomaru questioned, sheathing Tenseiga.

"Oh, he's the boy from the village; you know, the one I said liked me. He told me I'd never get very far with a sword since I started older and didn't have any "official" training."

Sesshomaru pulled Rin to her feet by the back of her kimono and brushed some tufts of grass from her person before leading the way back to camp.

"You never did tell me exactly what you thought of this young man," he stated rather suddenly after a period of silence.

"W-well, I didn't think you were actually interested."

"He's clearly still on your mind, though."

Rin made a face. "Not all the time; I thought of him just now because we were practicing. It's not like I miss him or anything."

"Is that the truth?"

The girl halted and put her hands on her hips. "Lord Sesshomaru, do you think I'd ever lie to you?"

She was obviously affronted by the notion. Sesshomaru cocked an eyebrow slightly and returned her stare.

"Then why won't you tell me about him?"

Rin spread her hands aside in a helpless gesture. "There's not that much to tell. I knew he liked me a lot, and while I was flattered by the attention…" she shrugged. "I just thought of him as a friend. There weren't a whole lot of people my age in the village, and the few who were seemed like they were avoiding me."

Sesshomaru felt his facial features pull down sharply in disapproval. "Why would they do such a thing?"

The young woman started walking again, and her companion fell in step with her.

"People have always looked at me as a little odd," Rin confessed with no frustration or disgust. "It was perfectly natural when I was very young, since I was mute and detached from any human interaction after seeing my family killed. No one knew how to reach out to me, so they didn't try, and instead saw me as a freak. Now, they view me as a different sort of freak, because I would refer to you one way or another often in conversation, and nobody could understand my desire to be with you. Hisoka was one of the few people who wasn't disturbed by that, so without that as a barrier it was easy for us to become friends."

The young woman kicked a pebble with one bare foot as they walked past. Sesshomaru had tried to get her to wear some sandals, but she still preferred the ground to her bare skin than any shoes.

"Anyway, Hisoka and I spent a good amount of time together while I lived at Kaede's, and two years ago I sensed he was looking at me differently. He started getting a lot more tongue-tied too, and he blushed any time I happened to bump against him."

The demon lord rolled his eyes. "Such a weak-willed creature."

"It was sweet!" Rin protested good-naturedly. "I'd much rather someone be unsure of himself like that and a little shy than be some blowhard who brags about his skills and tries to win me over with bold declarations and feats of strength."

"Do you think he will forget about you in time?"

"I certainly hope so. I wouldn't want him to pine away waiting for me to return or anything like that; I never asked for anything other than his friendship."

"Why is that? It's my understanding that humans crave a deeper connection with someone more than nearly anything else."

 _Why am I asking her this?_ Sesshomaru demanded of himself. _I care nothing about how humans interact, or what drives them. Why am I trying to extend this conversation?_

Rin mulled over her words before voicing them. "I can't say I haven't wanted that for myself at times. I've wondered what it would be like, and I've tried to imagine that kind of life, but if I were to…have someone, in that way, I couldn't travel with you."

Sesshomaru plucked a flower in passing and twirled it between his thumb and finger. "Perhaps, in a few years, you'll have decided you want that more than traveling, and you'll settle down in a village with someone."

Rin thoroughly shook her head and gazed up at the tall demon beside her. "I will follow you for the rest of my life, Lord Sesshomaru."

It felt to Sesshomaru like a ray of sunlight was shining directly on the middle of his chest, warming it in a most pleasurable way, but when he glanced down no such beam was there. He wondered what else could cause such a sensation, and he was quite disappointed when the answer did not present itself.


	6. Chapter 5- The Water Nymphs

**Chapter 5- The Water Nymphs**

The berries never stood a chance. One minute they were hanging from the bush in a picturesque cluster, fat and juicy as they glistened with dew, and the next they were snatched from their perch and shoveled into an eager mouth. Rin had decided she had a craving for berries this afternoon, and as Lord Sesshomaru was off on one of his solo ventures, she had no need to worry about making a quick grab for a snack before darting back to their party. She strolled about the line of bushes that cut through this section of the grassy plain, now pausing to lift her face to the heavens and let the wind caress her cheek, and now stooping to snag another berry from a waiting clump.

 _This is the life_ , she sighed contentedly in her mind.

She dimly heard Jaken's voice screeching somewhere over the horizon for her, but she ignored him. There was clearly no danger present, and she had no desire to listen to him prattle about useless things while she tried to enjoy her surroundings. The imp was always quick to point out that his fussing over Rin did not stem from any concern for her personally, but rather his concern for himself if anything should happen to her on his watch; for the most part Rin believed him, but she suspected there was a tiny kernel of genuine concern hiding somewhere in Jaken's little heart, which was why she could tolerate his incessant nagging.

"Poor Master Jaken," she sang out, loudly enough he could probably hear her. "He wonders where his little bird has flown, but she prefers to be better off alone!"

She jumped over a low point in the row of bushes and danced away, heading further away from her nanny. She'd let him sweat it a little with imaginings of Lord Sesshomaru torturing him, and then she'd return with a triumphant display of no harm upon herself. The young woman suspected it was probably a little wicked on her part to do such a thing to him, and a while later she slowed her skipping to a slow walk, her berry-stained hand holding her chin in a musing way. It was true she gave Jaken a good bit of grief on a daily basis; perhaps she should return with a peace offering of some kind to show she did care about his feelings after all.

"But what can I bring him?" she asked aloud, sweeping the nearby hills with a glance.

Rin pondered what she could give Jaken for a good length of time, rejecting each idea she had for one reason or another. He was a picky little thing, and Rin might just as easily offend him with a gift as placate him with another. She was so deep in thought she failed to hear the cry for help properly at first, thinking it was merely her demon squabbling with a vine that had caught his foot. An anguished wail sounded, pulling Rin out of her plans as she realized the voice was too feminine to be Jaken. The girl looked around wildly, but no one was in sight.

"Where are you?" she called frantically.

The scream sounded again, and Rin started running in the direction from which it seemed to come. The cries became more piteous, as if the person was helplessly watching something terrible they couldn't control; the sound triggered something in the young woman's brain, and an image flashed before her eyes. She was so young, hardly a toddler, buried in a pile of dirty laundry in a dark corner of the room. Her brother Akio had tried to hide them both in the clothes, but when he saw there was only room for one he pushed Rin under them and commanded her to stay perfectly still and quiet. Rin didn't understand what was going on: she had seen the hut next door blazing with fire, people were screaming, and strange men had come storming into her home. She watched them through a little peephole between two shirts, helplessly staring as her father stretched himself in front of his wife to protect her from a bandit's katana. Blood poured from his chest a moment later, and he sank like a stone to the floor.

Rin had promised her brother not to make a sound, but her heart screamed in agony as one by one her family was cut down before her very eyes. Akio was the last, standing in front of the laundry pile with determination while clutching a stick for dear life. His dying mother gave a bloodcurdling cry of horror from across the room as she watched her youngest son receive his death sentence, echoing her hidden daughter's silent feelings. Rin could see her brother, his eyes staring blankly in her direction as his spirit ebbed away, and even at her age she understood that he was dead.

The young woman gasped as the vision faded, wondering when she had last remembered to breathe. For a moment she couldn't remember why the memory had come to her, and then she heard the scream again, not fifteen feet away. Rin bolted through the tall grass until she spied a rippling brook, and there she found the source. A water nymph had been pulled from the stream by an ugly little demon who was now strangling her, while a second nymph swam powerlessly back and forth behind him, screaming for all she was worth and splashing little dribbles of water at him to no avail. Rin instinctively wrenched her katana out and swung at the hog demon in the same stroke, viciously ripping him in half before he could let out a sound. She reached down and cradled the dripping miniature woman in her hands, unsure what to do next with the nearly-unconscious being.

"The water! Put her in the water, quick!"

The nymph in the stream beckoned wildly, pointing frantically at her surroundings. Rin hurriedly knelt at the brook's edge and placed the water spirit in the current, praying it wasn't too late. After a heart-stopping minute of pleading and prodding, the victim's head slowly lolled upright, and the other nymph hugged her fiercely. Quite a bit of sobbing later, the nymph who had not been harmed turned her attention to Rin.

"Thank you! Oh, thank you so much! You saved my sister; I'm so grateful."

She reached for one of Rin's hands that had been gripping the bank and clutched it in her own tiny fingers, showing a surprising amount of strength for one so small.

"We cannot leave the water of our own accord, so when that beast pulled Emi out I could do nothing to stop him." The nymph kissed Rin's fingertip and let go. "My name is Eri. We are both indebted to you for life."

The human shook her head in an embarrassed way. "Please, it was no trouble at all. I'm only glad I got here in time. I'm Rin, by the way; I'm happy to meet you both."

"What are you doing all the way out here?" Eri asked as she put an arm around her smaller sister. "We don't see many people pass by this way."

"I'm traveling with Lord Sesshomaru; he's, ah, um…a great…warrior who roams the countryside, and I keep him company."

Rin suddenly wasn't sure if the nymphs would be bothered by the knowledge of another demon being close by; she didn't know too much about the creatures, and she had no wish to offend them unnecessarily.

"Is he with you? I should like to thank him as well for having one as kind and brave as you in his entourage. Emi would have been…no, I can't bear to think about it."

"He's gone off on a mission for now, and I don't know when he'll be back. I'll, uh, pass along your regards when I see him."

The nymphs talked quite happily with their savior for a long while, and Rin lost all track of time as she listened to their tales of adventure and song and the beautiful water they called home. She in turn told them some of her own exciting stories and things she'd witnessed, though she was careful to change any details that would give away her lord's true nature.

"I wonder what it would be like to be a spirit like you," Rin sighed with a little wistfulness as she watched the sun sink to touch the hills. "It must be marvelous to swim like you do, and to have such beautiful singing voices."

Emi smiled widely. "You could become a nymph, you know; there are means of magic to do it."

Rin sat up straighter. "I could?"

"Absolutely!" Eri piped up. "Any maiden can become a nymph if it is truly her wish; I can't tell you how many have been added to our number by young ladies who wanted to escape an arranged marriage. I assume you've never been with a man?"

This was met with a great reddening of the face. "No, of course not."

"Just had to check. In that case, all you'd have to do is follow us upstream a few days' journey to the underground cave where we keep the sacred stones. Shall we go?"

Emi gave a tug to Rin's sleeve that almost sent her sprawling into the water. "If you can't walk that far, we'll pull you. We're a hundred times stronger in our natural element."

The young woman crouched on the bank regarded the two smiling faces. They were so sweet and seemed very carefree, and she had to admit there was a certain appeal in the idea of being a water sprite not bound by the laws of nature as they applied to humans…but she shook her head.

"I appreciate the offer, really, but I couldn't; it's an interesting idea, but I couldn't leave Lord Sesshomaru. He's more important."

"Following him is more important that choosing your own path in the world?" Eri questioned. "You'd rather live in his shadow than be free to roam the waterways of the whole earth?"

"He is my path," Rin answered quietly, tracing the current with her finger.

The elder nymph clearly couldn't fathom this, but she merely shrugged her fluid shoulders. "Well, it's your life. We would've been proud to have you."

"Wait one minute!" Emi suddenly exclaimed.

She darted underwater and zipped away from sight. Three minutes later she came back bearing a beautiful ochre-colored cockleshell that was almost as big as she was; she hefted it above her head and held it out to Rin.

"A saltwater cousin gave this to me years ago when we met where our waters merged. I want you to have it."

"Oh, thank you, but I couldn't take this!" the human exclaimed, feeling guilty for turning their nymph offer down. "It's too special."

Emi insisted, tossing the shell out of the water and into Rin's palm. "It's the least I can do after you saved my life. This way you'll always remember you have friends in the nymphs."

Rin smiled finally. "If you insist. Thank you." She glanced up at the sky and at last made the connection between the sun's height and what time it must be. "I have to go; I didn't realize it had gotten so late!"

"Farewell, friend. If you ever change your mind, come find us; if you place that shell in the water and wish to join us, it will lead you home."

The young woman nodded politely, making a mental note to never let this thing anywhere near a stream. She waved goodbye and ran in the direction she'd come from, hoping she hadn't caused anyone to worry; she called out several times for Jaken, but the imp didn't answer. Hmm, was he being petty now? She wouldn't put it past him. Rin turned her head for a moment as she ran to watch the sun disappear behind the horizon, trying to use its position to gauge which direction she needed to travel. As her head swiveled back around she caught sight of something white out of the corner of her eye, and next thing she knew she had smacked right into Lord Sesshomaru.

"Where have you been?" he asked in a serious tone. "Jaken tells me he's been looking for you for the past four hours."

Rin clasped her hands guiltily behind her back. "I didn't realize I'd been gone so long, really. I rescued a water nymph from a demon, and we got to talking, and more time went by than I thought."

Lord Sesshomaru gave her a hard look. "You should be more careful, Rin; the more spiteful nymphs have been known to kidnap unsuspecting girls and drag them off to never be heard from again."

The girl looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry; they seemed nice."

"That's what you said about Jiri."

Rin felt the shame creeping up her neck, and suddenly she couldn't look him in the eye. He was thinking of her as a child to reprimand right now, and she didn't want him viewing her that way anymore. She'd grown up, but Lord Sesshomaru would always see her as childish if she wasn't careful.

"We're marching through the night," the demon lord said at last as he turned away.

Rin nodded and kept her eyes on the ground, admonishing herself for giving into her spitefulness earlier to tease Jaken and ultimately making herself look foolish in front of Lord Sesshomaru.

 _But I did save Emi's life. Maybe other nymphs are bad, but Emi and Eri turned out to be all right; I just got lucky they were some of the nice ones._

Over the next hour Rin endured the verbal abuse Jaken hurled at her from his perch on A-Un's saddle. The green imp berated the young woman for making his life miserable, moaning about his disgrace in front of Lord Sesshomaru and wishing for the millionth time they'd never let her come back. Rin held her tongue through the whole tirade, agreeing with a fraction of what the demon said but starkly reminding herself overall that he was too harsh. When at last it seemed his storm had run its course, Rin held out the cockleshell to him.

"I knew you'd be angry with me, Master Jaken, and I felt bad about it, so I brought you back a present. I'm sorry for making you so upset."

The toad fairly fainted away right there, but he quickly recovered himself and cautiously snatched the shell up for inspection. He ran his fingers over the grooves and sniffed for anything amiss.

"And just what am I supposed to do with this?" he demanded.

"You can carry it in your pocket, or hang it from your staff, or wear it around your neck like I do my locket. It's yours to do what you want with it."

"Hmmmmmmm…."

Jaken was still suspicious, but he was at last quiet and did not give his human companion any further talking-to's. Now that it was silent, Rin's mind wandered back to the memory that had resurfaced earlier. She didn't exactly keep her early childhood buried- she had grieved for her family and dealt with moving on a long time ago, so she knew the murders weren't like some dark secret that threatened to overwhelm her if she dwelt on them for too long. She was stable in that regard, and she'd even talked about her family from time to time with Kagome; however, it was a subject she generally kept closed off from daily thought, and she did her best not to think about the particulars of the deaths, but to instead focus on how each person had lived their lives.

Every great once in a while, though, her positive thinking would wane, and all she could think about was the agony her family felt as they lay dying. She remembered crawling out of her hiding place once the bandits were gone, and how she had toddled to each family member and held their faces in her hands, calling their names and wondering why they didn't wake up. She'd slept there in the house with her parents and brothers' bodies all night, and it was only the next morning when some villagers came to collect the dead that she was found. It had been such a horrible, _horrible_ experience, but she couldn't even express to anybody her pain and sorrow; all desire to speak had left her, so she'd had to come to grips with the deaths in silence- something that took her years to properly process.

Rin had been staring unseeingly at the dark ground before her as all of this whirled through her head, so she wasn't even aware of something blocking her path until two hands gently grasped her upper arms and held her fast. Startled, the young woman looked up to see Lord Sesshomaru surveying her carefully, his golden eyes searching her face. She wasn't sure why he'd stopped, and for some reason her tongue did not want to work right now, so all she could do was stare back at him.

"I heard you crying," he said at last, still holding her arms so she couldn't keep walking.

Rin hadn't even realized the tears were streaming down her cheeks. She hastily wiped at them with her sleeve, glad the only light available came dimly from the stars above so Lord Sesshomaru didn't have to see her like this.

"I-I was thinking," she offered lamely.

He wouldn't let it go at that. She knew he wasn't one to know much about asking how someone was feeling, though that was clearly what he was wondering, so he continued to hold her and wait for an answer of some sort. After a while Rin let out a slow sigh.

"I had a vivid recalling of how my family died, this afternoon. I saw it all again in perfect detail, something I haven't seen that clearly in years, and…" a tiny sob escaped, "I just wish they were alive."

Lord Sesshomaru began to walk again, but he didn't pull out in front of her; he stayed by her side, much closer than he usually did when he let them walk near each other. To anybody else the demon lord would have appeared totally uninterested in this moment, but Rin knew he was trying to show her sympathy; she could sense it from his closeness, even if he had let go of her arms by now.

"I would bring them back if I could," he said very softly.

Rin sniffled. "I know you would. It's just…the way they looked, the fact I…I only lived because Akio sacrificed himself for me-"

The tears welled up again, and Rin buried her face in her hands. Sesshomaru stepped in front of her again, apparently concerned she couldn't cry and walk at the same time; Rin knew she was taking a terrible risk, but she was so emotionally traumatized right now and just wanted to be near him…. She covered the two steps between them and let herself rest against his chest, sobs still silently wracking her body. This was the moment of truth, whether he would let her stay or would pull away abruptly. The seconds ticked by, and he didn't scold or leave her; he made no move to comfort her, but he wasn't trying to worm away either, so she supposed she should count herself very much favored. The young woman felt him incline his head to look at her, and in the darkness she felt one solitary fingertip brush momentarily by her hair.

"I'm sorry, Rin."

The girl nodded, wishing she could tell him how much she appreciated it. Lord Sesshomaru stepped aside and swatted a sleeping Jaken off the saddle as easily as A-Un would a fly; he picked Rin up and set her on the dragon's back, letting his eyes linger on hers another moment longer before walking ahead to take the lead. Rin took a deep breath and knew she was smiling in spite of her sadness, and she hoped Lord Sesshomaru knew that.


	7. Chapter 6- Caring & Conflict

**Chapter 6- Caring & Conflict**

The days were cooler now, and all of nature was swathed in a robe of red, brown, and gold; the sun's light grew paler and did not endure as long as it once did, and fewer travelers appeared on the highways. Naturally, Sesshomaru was not the least bit deterred by the change in seasons and carried on in his nomadic wanderings as if nothing had happened. He was pleased to see that Rin did not gripe and complain about the growing cold nearly as much as many of her human counterparts were known to do; true, she was now a little bit sluggish in the frosty mornings and not quite so eager to practice with her sword, but she rarely voiced any discomfort concerning the weather. She pranced through the colorful leaves carpeting the ground and clapped with delight whenever she discovered nuts or berries still hanging, and she rambled on by the fireside with endless stories about heroes, adventures, love, and anything else that came to mind.

"Don't you ever tire of running your mouth?" Jaken complained one afternoon as a sharp wind nipped at the party. "You could talk the ears off a stone statue!"

"How else am I to pass the time?" Rin answered loftily, tossing a handful of orange leaves into the air. "There isn't but so much to do on the road, you know."

"That's beside the point. Lord Sesshomaru is almost always silent; we should follow his example and not speak unless he addresses us. That would be truly respectful."

The young woman rolled her eyes. "If I didn't fill the silence, Master Jaken, _you_ would find some way to do it yourself. You're much more long-winded than you give yourself credit for."

This comment sent the imp into a spluttering fit, but Sesshomaru ignored it all. He only stepped in as referee in these arguments when Jaken became too annoying or insulted Rin; it was beneath the demon lord's dignity to constantly embroil himself in these petty fights. It began to rain a short while after that, which provided Jaken with a new situation to whine about, while Rin immediately sprang forward and held her heavy cloak out to their leader.

"Here, Lord Sesshomaru, use my cloak. You shouldn't have to get wet."

Her straightforward devotion was praiseworthy, he had to admit. Sesshomaru put the green cloak back around Rin's shoulders and drew up the hood over her head. She smiled up at the demon before skipping back to A-Un, and Sesshomaru mentally shook his head. Rin trusted in him implicitly and believed he could do no wrong, yet she was always so quick to offer to take care of him in some way, as if he depended on her help. He knew Rin and Jaken were both wholeheartedly devoted to him and would throw themselves into any danger to protect him, so why did Rin's concern manifest itself so differently from the little imp's? It was quite puzzling….

The rain became a constant companion for the next week. At times it was driving, at others more of a drizzle, but it never stopped falling entirely, and Jaken had to be smacked more than once when his misery oozed out of his mouth uncontrollably. Rin quietly sat on A-Un's back and endured the flood stoically, though it was clear from her countenance she was also not enthused by the nonstop rain. During a particularly fierce round of the downpour Sesshomaru heard her sneeze mightily, but when he turned around she merely gave him a resigned yet cheerful wave from her perch. Two minutes later, however, she sneezed again, and the demon lord marched back to halt the dragon.

"Are you ill?" he questioned, peering at the young woman's face under her soaked hood.

"I'll be okay," she replied, rubbing her nose before attempting to smile.

Her eyes were tinged pink where they were normally white, and she was clearly chilled to the bone. Curse it all, how had he been so wrapped up in thought lately he hadn't noticed she was getting sick? She was too good about not speaking out when she was unwell, and he was too unconscious about her state of wellbeing. Rin suddenly pulled a corner of her cloak over her face and sneezed again, and that was all the confirmation Sesshomaru needed.

"You need to be somewhere dry," he stated sternly.

He glanced around at the swaying trees while another rumble of thunder sounded close by. The storm had been getting more violent in the last half hour, which only further confirmed it was time to get Rin to shelter. Sesshomaru grasped A-Un's reins tightly and pressed forward quickly, his ears straining through the rain for the sound of water echoing in a cave mouth, and his nose searching for the scent of an inn's fireplace. He wiped his wet, plastered hair back from his face, scanning for any means of protection from the beating sheets of moisture and the lashing wind. At last he spotted a cave off to his right, which he promptly headed for- despite the fact that his path was fraught with bushes, branches, and other ensnaring objects. Sesshomaru heedlessly plowed through the underbrush until they were finally inside the cave and free from the elements.

The shelter was not as deep as he would have liked for it to be; it housed them all well enough, but the wind still managed to blow cold gusts by them from time to time. Jaken was immediately set about with the task of gathering wood, which obviously displeased him.

"But milord, h-how am I to find anything to use in this tiny cave?" he lamented.

Sesshomaru shot his vassal a deadly look as he peeled Rin's saturated cloak off. "There's a whole forest out there, Jaken."

"Yes, but all the wood will be wet! I can't possibly make a fire with-"

The toad was then reacquainted with the bottom of Sesshomaru's shoe, which seemed to jog the little demon's memory of the Staff of Two Heads' power. He scampered through the curtain of rain cascading over the cave entrance, and with a disgusted huff Sesshomaru turned his attention back to his charge. She was putting on a brave face, but Rin was shivering all over now and looked ready to curl up in a corner and never move again. Sesshomaru unhitched her backpack from the dragon's saddle and held it out.

"Change into some dry clothes," he ordered before heading towards the storm raging away outside.

"Oh, Lord Sesshomaru, don't!" Rin exclaimed. "Don't get yourself even more soaked on my account. Just, um, just stay there and look at the rain for a minute."

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows a fraction of an inch but obliged her, standing at the entrance facing out while firmly clutching A-Un's reigns to ensure the beast did not turn its heads, either. It was only a lowly dragon, incapable of lusting thoughts or anything like that, but Rin deserved her privacy. In another minute the demon lord was allowed to freely move about the cave once again, and he promptly rooted down to the bottom of the saddlebag to find the lone blanket stowed therein. He wrapped the large cloth about Rin and made her sit as far back in the cave as she comfortably could, hoping the wind wouldn't be as strong there. The young woman already looked a little less miserable, but Sesshomaru was determined to keep her as warm as possible to chase away any cold that might try to linger in her body.

Jaken finally returned with a pile of dripping wood several times his size, and after a little wheezing he set about drying the sticks with his staff's stream of fire. The imp worked frantically, nervously eyeing his master's watchful stare, knowing he couldn't afford to waste a second if he wanted to escape punishment. Ten minutes later the wood was properly dry and set ablaze a few feet away from the damp human in the corner. Rin reached into her backpack for a cup of ninja food, but Sesshomaru promptly snatched it away and headed for the rain. He had seen the girl prepare this particular delicacy a dozen times, so he was confident he could duplicate the process himself.

He pulled back the paper lid and held the cup out to the rain, watching it fill as the water swirled around the dry noodles and powder inside. The little wire cooking rack was produced and set over the fire, and after giving the noodles a good stir with a chopstick Sesshomaru placed the cup on the rack to heat. He sat back down beside Rin in an offhanded manner as if nothing had happened, staring at the fire in a nonplussed way. He saw the young woman looking at him in dumbfounded amazement from the corner of his eye, but he pretended not to notice; after a while, Rin sat back and drew the blanket closer, sitting just close enough for their shoulders to touch.

"You spoil me, Lord Sesshomaru. I could've done that."

"You need to stay as far away from the dampness as possible."

Nothing was said for a while after that. The rain pounded outside, the flames crackled, and Jaken fussed wordlessly as he wrung streams of water from his soiled robe. Rin was sneezing less now, but she wasn't dry yet, and there was always the chance the chill would settle down in her bones. Sesshomaru noted her hair was still quite wet, and without a second thought he took a section of the blanket and placed it over her head, gently pinching her hair to drain the excess water out. He felt her start under his touch, but she didn't shy away or inquire as to what he was doing. Still, he was compelled to defend himself.

"The cold will seep into you through your head if it isn't properly dry."

"Thank you," the girl answered quietly, looking at her lap.

The demon lord's sensitive ears noticed the sound of the noodles' bubbling had changed ever so slightly, and he determined they were done cooking. He plucked the cup from the hot rack and deposited it in Rin's blanket-covered hands, and her face lit up with a smile.

"It looks perfect, Lord Sesshomaru. I had no idea you were so skilled at cooking," she giggled, clearly enjoying a joke of some sort.

After a few minutes of blowing and testing, she began to eat the soup. Sesshomaru pretended to still be staring at the fire, but in actuality he was watching Rin like a hawk. He never wanted to see her sick again, and he was determined to prevent that from happening with every ounce of power within him; he listened for her breathing to become scratchy, and observed every aspect of her face for a clue as to what was happening internally. She appeared to be no worse, and when she was halfway done with her meal he thought a little color had come back to her cheeks. Sesshomaru allowed his muscles to relax ever so slightly, but he kept his senses taught and ready to react to the slightest sniffle or wince.

The dim gray light through the rain slowly faded to black, but the flood continued to pour. Jaken had dozed off while lying stretched across one of A-Un's necks, while the dragon also blissfully snoozed away. Rin had finished her soup and was happily munching on a bag of something she called chips; she offered them to her companion as a matter of course, but Sesshomaru declined. He found all human food repulsive and completely unappetizing, and he wondered how anyone could honestly enjoy ingesting such fare.

"How do you know how to take such good care of me?" Rin asked very suddenly.

Sesshomaru pulled his mind from dwelling on disgusting dishes and blinked slowly. "Are you inferring I shouldn't know how to care for you?"

The young woman popped another chip in her mouth. "Well, it's just kind of odd, when I think about it. You've never had kids before, or anybody else you had to be responsible for, and no offense but I can't imagine your mother ever doting on you but so much when you were younger. I'm just trying to figure out where you learned to take care of someone so well."

"Perhaps it is nothing learned, but simply instinctive."

Rin shook her head. "Again, not trying to be rude, but you've told me yourself that demons aren't naturally inclined towards helping others, especially not humans." She looked up admiringly at the demon lord. "I bet you're a lot like your father."

Sesshomaru silently drew in a sharp breath. "And just how do you come to that conclusion?"

"Master Jaken has told me so many stories, and you'll recall we've met a few demons in our travels who knew your father; he was an unbeatable warrior, brave and just, yet surprisingly kind-hearted. He wasn't afraid to show his feelings towards Inuyasha's mother, and he did everything he could to protect her." Rin fished in her bag for the few remaining potato flakes. "You're the mightiest demon of this age, and I've never seen you afraid of anything. You have shown me nothing but kindness since I met you, and…" her voice dropped a little, "I know you'll always watch over me, no matter what."

The demon lord wanted to debate her on the subject, but he knew it was useless; Rin's complete faith in him would never be argued down. A short time later his companion let out a yawn, and Sesshomaru stood up.

"You need to sleep; you won't feel better if you aren't properly rested."

Rin nodded and settled to the floor, unconsciously shivering as another puff of chilly wind whistled through. Sesshomaru frowned momentarily, surveying his options and weighing the outcomes; he glanced about, measuring the cave with his eyes to make sure he was not mistaken. Satisfied, he concentrated and let himself transform into his dog demon self, feeling his face elongate to form his snout, while his white fur spurted out to cover his whole body and his arms and legs grew in length and width. He now stood as a giant dog, his massive frame filling up most of the cave, and he had to fight the sudden urge to let out a triumphant howl. It had been a long while since he'd had need of his true form, and it felt good to be in it again.

He tried to settle to the floor quietly, hoping not to disturb Rin as she tried to fall asleep, but he could not control the tremor he sent out through the ground as he sat down. The jostle opened Rin's eyes, and she sat up instantly as she spied the very large dog just across from her.

"Lord Sesshomaru, what-!"

She stared at him for a minute, clearly wondering what was going on. He looked back at her calmly with his red eyes, hoping this transformation wouldn't frighten her; she had never seen it in such close quarters before, and certainly not outside battle. A light dawned in the young woman's eyes, and her smile came back.

"You're blocking the storm for me, aren't you?" she asked in a humble manner.

The wind was indeed no longer an issue inside the cave: Sesshomaru's enormous bulk covered the entire entrance, and his body heat was warming up the interior nicely. The demon dog closed his eyes and rested his head on his fronts paws to sleep, as if he were shrugging. He had thought Rin would follow suit, but two minutes later he felt a hand tentatively stroke one of his silky ears. Restraining himself, he kept his body still but let his lids fly back so he could stare the girl down; no one, absolutely _no one_ , was allowed to touch him in his dog form. He was not some pet to be fondled! To his annoyance, Rin remained steadfast and gently rubbed his fur, the two large orbs set in her face glistening.

"You truly are the greatest demon of the age," she whispered.

She petted him for a minute more before bowing slightly and heading back to her corner by the fire. Sesshomaru wanted to growl at her, let her know he disapproved of her handling him, but as usual he couldn't make himself do it.

 _She means no harm,_ he reminded himself.

Still feeling slightly indignant, he settled down again and fell asleep.

* * *

In another day, the rain had ceased. Rin's developing cold had completely vanished, and it was declared time to move on. Mild weather accompanied them as they journeyed throughout the autumn world, supplying cool but not unpleasant breezes, and providing plenty of fodder for conversations/arguments between the two smallest members of the party. Sesshomaru had said nothing to Rin about her touching him when he had been in his true form, but the memory was still bothering him; however, the subject plaguing him most right now was her comparison of him to his father. On the one hand, he admired and respected his father above any other being he had ever known. The Great Dog Demon was incomparably powerful, capable of wielding weapons no one else could even touch; other demons even as far as the continent feared or challenged him, but none could come close to so much as landing a scratch on him. He was magnificent, a truly glorious force to be reckoned with….

… _And yet he ultimately threw it all away, just for the sake of some mortal woman he foolishly fell in love with._

It baffled Sesshomaru more than anything when he thought about that black mark on his father's book. How could a demon of such standing- one who had his pick of any number of fair demonesses of high rank and power -pass everything by to take into his arms a mere human princess? Sesshomaru had heard his father say before he would have loved Izayoi even if she were a common, dirty pauper, but in his eldest son's mind she had been exactly that. For one so great as the Inu no Taishou to stoop to the level of choosing a human as his second mate…she wasn't worthy to even be compared to dirt. Sesshomaru longed to be as great as his father, to even surpass him in reputation, but he had no desire to emulate his elder's choice in women.

During the past few years, on the rare occasions when he even associated with her, Sesshomaru's mother had made no effort to hide her opinion of his relationship with Rin and its connection to her deceased husband.

"After everything that happened to your father because of that mortal woman, I would think you'd know better than to care for any human whatsoever," she'd berated more than once.

Sesshomaru was always quick to counter that this was different, because Rin was not his mate; he insisted he was not sullying the family name by keeping her in his company.

 _You're rationalizing,_ he remonstrated. _Perhaps it isn't the exact same situation as the one Father found himself in, but the heart of the matter remains. You want to be with this human, and your claim of wishing to keep your family's name pure can't overcome it._

If he could not compel himself to withdraw from Rin's life, didn't that make him no better than his father? But that could not be so! His father's love for a mortal was the one aspect of the Great Dog Demon's legacy that Sesshomaru had always mocked and despised- surely he did not possess that same quality. Besides, he didn't _love_ Rin: he was merely very fond of her and enjoyed the light she brought into his life. Was that so wrong?

"You're looking very pensive today, Lord Sesshomaru."

Rin had materialized by his side. The demon lord made the smallest of sighs and kept his gaze on the horizon.

"I contemplate many things, as you well know," he replied somewhat absently.

"Is everything all right? Is something the matter?"

Sesshomaru shook his head. "Nothing is wrong. I was simply wondering how my father ever fell for a mortal."

He stopped his walking for a single moment, but that was all that showed of his shock at what he had just said. Why in heaven's name was he voicing his thoughts aloud? That was one of the frustrating things about Rin: he trusted her enough he would sometimes allow her to see more of his mind than he intended. She inadvertently lulled him into a place where he wasn't trying to hide all his various strands of thought, and even more disturbing was the fact that he fancied he liked such an arrangement- but the notion was instantly beat down into submission.

"Love rises above all labels and stations," the young woman answered thoughtfully. "We may not always be able to act on it, but that doesn't mean it's not there."

"Are you saying my father couldn't help himself? That he was somehow powerless against such feelings?" Sesshomaru shot back in a much more biting tone than he had intended.

Surprisingly, Rin ignored the verbal slap and gave him a simple shrug. "Why does it bother you so much to think there might've been one thing in the world even your father was prey to? I would think you'd instead be glad, because it would mean he couldn't really help what happened; it's not like he was out to bring disgrace upon his name or anything."

"He could have pushed the feelings aside. Nothing could be powerful enough to overwhelm his senses that much," the demon lord bitterly replied.

Rin clasped her hands together and rested her chin on her pointer fingers. "Then maybe he wasn't overwhelmed, after all. Perhaps he put down his sword and instead surrendered, conceding that love was something he would rather accept than live without."

"If so, he was even more of a fool than I thought."

The girl took on a challenging expression. "What makes love so terrible to you? You could just say it's not for you and leave it be, but there's no reason for you to act like it isn't good for anyone."

Sesshomaru heard Jaken gasp behind them. The little imp knew Rin was on dangerous ground to make such a bold inquiry without even a little respect, and the demon lord realized he must confront her if he did not wish to appear weak before his vassal.

"Remember your place, Rin," he growled in a very icy tone, one he hardly ever directed towards her.

The young woman set her jaw and looked away, clearly unremorseful. "I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru. You were actually sharing your thoughts with me for once, so I took that to mean I could express mine; I didn't realize I couldn't have an opinion on the matter."

He should have been furious with her. He should have shown a flash of power or let out a terrifying snarl to remind this human of who he was…but his anger faded as quickly as it had come. Sesshomaru didn't want Rin to be frightened of him and cower at his feet; her _not_ being afraid of him was part of why he found her company so appealing. Did he want to jeopardize that just because of a moment of spite? The demon lord glanced back at Jaken, who by now was trying to burrow under A-Un's saddle to avoid the hellfire and brimstone he was anticipating. It was imperative the little demon think that even Rin was not immune to a reprimand.

"A-Un, stay."

Sesshomaru took hold of Rin's arm and steered her away from the dragon, knowing that his servant was surely imagining the most terrible punishments possible for the girl. Rin kept her head held high as they walked, but her companion could sense her growing uneasiness. He never took her aside like this to talk to her about anything, and undoubtedly she was having visions similar to Jaken's. Before long they happened across a tree felled by the wind in years past, and Rin was firmly made to sit down.

"Rin, you know that emotions are not something I pretend to understand, or desire to," Sesshomaru stated with more calm than he thought he was capable of at the moment. "I look at them as weaknesses and inconveniences, and nothing more."

Various feelings flickered across the young woman's face as she moved from expecting total calamity to realizing he meant her no harm, and that he was actually _explaining_ himself _to her_.

"My father was a legend, both in demonic and human circles. I would like to think of him as impervious to all forms of attack, and I do not like to be reminded…of that being a lie."

Rin looked down at the yellowing grass. "I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru," she sighed at last, and this time the apology was genuine. "I wasn't trying to make you upset. I just…I like it when you talk to me more like a, a friend, rather than your little shadow. I forgot myself in the moment and said more than I should have. I'm sorry."

Sesshomaru drew a deep breath and allowed himself to sit a small distance away from her. "I did not bring you out here to scold you, though I can assure you that is what Jaken will think, and should."

He saw her head come up slowly, obviously wondering if she had heard him right.

"As long as you remember to respect me, you shouldn't be afraid to talk to me."

Rin nodded mutely, her eyes widening by the second as she grasped what he was saying. Oddly enough, Sesshomaru felt pleased with himself rather than mentally screeching over his lax handling of this free-spirited human; he didn't know why, but he could distinctly tell he was satisfied with his conduct- and the young woman's growing joy at this development. Still, he felt it necessary to show at least a little that he was still in charge.

"But the next time I turn into my true form, you are not to touch me, understand? I am not a common mongrel."

He said it without the least bit of threat. His companion nodded quickly and lowered her hands from her mouth.

"I'll do my best to remember," she promised.

Sesshomaru rose to his feet and beckoned. "Jaken may come looking for your charred remains if we tarry much longer."

Rin laughed in her carefree way and followed him. "Do you know how your father and Inuyasha's mother first met?" She immediately blushed and waved her hands frantically. "I mean, never mind. Sorry, I know you hate that whole story. Sorry…."

The demon lord merely shook his head. "I do not know; it was not exactly something I wanted to discuss with my father."

"I'm just a sucker for stories about people who fall for each other despite how very different they are, or how the odds are stacked against them; it's so romantic. I guess Inuyasha gets his brazen I-don't-care, I'm-going-to-do-it-anyways attitude from him- that's how your father was about seeing Izayoi."

"It would seem so."

The dragon and the imp became visible through the trees ahead. Sesshomaru was aware of Rin studying him intently, and at last he stopped and turned to face her.

"What?"

The young woman gave him a winsome smile. "I'm just glad I got to be a bit more like a friend today. Everybody needs one, don't you think?"

She skipped ahead and broke through the tree line, making sure to appear downcast once Jaken's head turned around. Sesshomaru watched her go, wondering why he was feeling that content satisfaction once again.


	8. Chapter 7- Tainted Blood

**A/N:** Hope everyone's enjoying it so far! Don't worry, there are plenty of sweet moments ahead; we're just taking our time getting there because- come on, let's be honest -Sesshomaru is not one who can _really_ warm up quickly. I think this is staying true to his character to build things slowly.

* * *

 **Chapter 7- Tainted Blood**

Something was sitting on Sesshomaru. He sensed a slight weight pressing on his outstretched legs, as well as the sleeves of his kimono as they rested by his sides. The demon lord opened his eyes to a completely different terrain than the one he had seen in the night before- a world of white greeted him, a fluffy blanket enveloping every object within view, and more was falling from the whitish-gray sky. The sparse leaves on the surrounding trees were frozen where they hung on their limbs, trapped by the icy hands incasing them; nothing moved, not a sound could be heard, save for the faint whisper of the gently falling snow.

Sesshomaru focused his gaze on the shapes across the small clearing. A-Un was still asleep, with a little mountain of snow on his back that no doubt contained Jaken; curled up beside the dragon was another snow-covered lump, and in another moment the demon lord materialized by his beast of burden as he plunged his hand into the snowy mound. He yanked the stiff blanket away from the sleeping Rin, silently praising her odd habit of pulling the blanket over her head at night- she likely would not have survived the night, otherwise. A-Un's warmth had also no doubt helped, and his master reminded himself to find the dragon a decent meal at some point today.

"Rin, wake up, wake up!" Sesshomaru commanded, pulling the young woman to a sitting position.

He tapped her cheeks to bring the warmth back, noting she was almost blue from the cold. Rin's head slowly lolled from side to side as she began to wake up, though it seemed an age before her eyes finally made contact with Sesshomaru's.

"What…what happened?" she asked groggily, her hands instinctively grasping her shoulders as the weather registered with her brain.

Sesshomaru produced her thick winter cloak and wrapped it securely around her. "It snowed during the night."

He surveyed his ward critically, wondering if she was hiding any significant discomfort. Thankfully, she didn't seem to be too worse for the wear, but he wasn't taking any chances.

"There was an inn about a mile back; you're going to go and sit by their fire for a while."

"Oh, I can make a fire out here with no problem."

"No, you're not."

Sesshomaru pulled A-Un to his feet, causing the little lump on the saddle to tumble overboard. A shivering Jaken emerged from his cocoon, his entire body trembling as he desperately tried to become warm again.

"F-f-f-first s-s-s-snow of the s-season, eh, mil-l-l-lord?"

The imp's unnecessary statement of the obvious was completely ignored. Sesshomaru herded his group back to the nearby inn and deposited Rin on the doorstep with strict instructions not to come out until she had drunk at least two cups of tea and could feel all her toes again. She obeyed with a nod and disappeared into the establishment; Jaken watched her go with great longing, no doubt yearning to also enjoy the warm fire he glimpsed briefly through the doorway.

"They would not allow a demon inside, Jaken," Sesshomaru reminded in a clipped tone.

"Oh, of course, milord! I was simply trying to ascertain whether the inn was indeed a safe place for Rin to be by herself. You know, thieves and all that."

"Do you dare to suggest I would let Rin come to harm in such a way?"

Jaken's green skin managed to turn pale as he recognized his backhanded insinuation. He fell to the ground and begged a thousand apologies, furiously digging through the snow to get down to the dirt so he could fling it on himself as a show of remorse. Sesshomaru turned away from the display with indifference and merely stared over the barren landscape. He himself was impervious to the cold- heat, rain, wind, and anything else of the sort did not bother him; he was aware of the sensations they caused across his skin, but they did not register as unpleasant or bothersome. They simply existed as he observed them and nothing more; they did not strike him as good or bad, desirable or undesirable- they were just _there_.

An hour later Rin emerged looking more her usual chipper self. She placed a hot bun in Jaken's frozen hands, passing on before she could see tears welling up in the little demon's eyes.

"All ready to go, Lord Sesshomaru!" she declared, spreading her arms out as if to indicate her level of wellness.

"Your feet have properly thawed out?"

The young woman wriggled her toes inside her recently acquired fur-lined boots so that the material moved up and down in answer to the question.

"Ride A-Un, nevertheless."

"Of course, my lord."

Off they went into the winter wonderland of snow and ice that surrounded them on all sides. Rin stayed on her perch for a few hours, but inevitably she turned restless and slid off the saddle into snow that was now almost knee-deep. Sesshomaru watched from the corner of his eye as she wadded up a ball of the white crystals, took aim, and suddenly lobbed her weapon at an unsuspecting Jaken. The snowball whacked the imp so forcefully in the face it knocked him backwards, and when he came back up he was spluttering so hard he couldn't even finish his sentence.

"Why you-! You devious, you monstrous, you HORRIBLE-!"

Another snowball made contact, cutting off his speech. As a third ball came whistling in, the little demon had the sense to whip out his staff and melt the snow in mid-flight, which caused him great celebration.

"See how you like _that_ , you foolish-"

POW! Jaken was down for the count again. A fierce battle ensued as the party continued, with Rin throwing snowballs as fast as she could make them and Jaken desperately trying to incinerate them before they got too close; he succeeded a few times, but there were far more smacking sounds than there were triumphant cries of "ha ha!" Sesshomaru noted Rin's gaze stray to him once or twice in between throws in a pondering sort of way, but she knew better than to throw a snowball at him, even in jest. At long last Jaken flopped face-forward in the snow in a sign of defeat.

"Go on, just leave me here. I can't do this anymore."

No one acknowledged this dramatic announcement, knowing the imp would soon get up and struggle after them. Rin climbed back on A-Un and settled in with a happy sigh, apparently invigorated by the battle. There was silence for a minute or two, and then a lone snowball came sailing from the front of the train to pop Rin directly on the nose. Sesshomaru heard her gasp in shock and knew she was staring at him wildly, surely wondering if she had imagined it. In another moment he heard her giggle, and a glance back showed her grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

The first few weeks of winter passed by in an unremarkable fashion. Rin found multiple ways to entertain herself with the snow that had accumulated around the countryside; there were several more fights with Jaken, as well as one evening where she sculpted a snow statue that bore a significant resemblance to A-Un. She never asked Sesshomaru where they were going, seeming truly content just to be with him as she claimed, and the demon lord was thankful that her otherwise never-ending curiosity did not extend to regularly inquiring about the road ahead. Sometimes during their marches she would trot forward until she was almost right beside Sesshomaru, but she did not presume to stand beside him like an equal; there were days when Rin did this but did not speak, apparently just wanting to be near him, and other times where she'd strike up a conversation about anything that came to mind.

While the demon lord still maintained his penchant for using few words, he found himself compelled to answer her questions and not leave her words dangling in the air unattended. At times he wondered why he let her do this, reminding himself that he was in charge and that he decided who could talk and when, and that he was under no obligation to answer her at all. Despite this declaration of alpha dominance, Sesshomaru had no desire in the slightest to enforce it. He told Rin stories of past demons he'd fought, recounting dangerous adventures where lesser beings would have surely failed, and responded to her various inquiries without hesitation. He noticed as the days went by that the more he did so, the more Rin smiled; she also walked closer to him, still keeping slightly behind, but she drew nearer nonetheless.

"Lord Sesshomaru, are you ever going to get married?" the young woman asked one afternoon as they plodded along through a freshly fallen snow.

"Demons do not marry, at least not in the way that you humans do. We choose someone as a mate, but there is no ceremony or exchange of vows; demons of a higher class such as myself tend to retain their mate for the duration of one's life, not cast them aside after one usage like the common animals do. The pair may live together, or opt for more infrequent visits to one another, depending on the level of attraction felt, I suppose."

"So are you going to get a mate, then?" Rin questioned, tilting her face back to the sky to let the drifting flakes land on her skin.

"Certainly it is expected," Sesshomaru returned.

"That's not really an answer."

The demon lord lifted her over the line of large boulders blocking their path. "My mother is quick to remind me that my father's bloodline must continue, as I am his only fully demonic descendant."

"So, you _will_ do it then, at some point?"

"I will never hear the end of the matter from her until I do."

Rin frowned a bit. "But it sounds like you don't want to; you shouldn't let her bully you into something like choosing a mate. You'll only be happy if you're with someone you picked of your own accord."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "Happiness is not one of the things expected. I understand some demon pairs have it, but it's certainly not common; oftentimes it's more of a mutual tolerance."

His companion looked truly horrified. "That's terrible!"

The demon lord almost imperceptibly shrugged. "Rin, I have been alive for a very long time, and I have not once met a demoness who even came close to piquing my interest; you certainly don't expect me to suddenly fall over myself after all this time, do you? I am not like my little brother. If I take a mate, it will be a detached relationship, and nothing more."

"I just want you to be happy," the young woman replied, watching her boots sink into the snow over and over. "I can't imagine holding somebody at arm's length could do that, but if it's what you want…."

She trailed off into a contemplative silence. They walked on for a good mile or so before she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and gave a little gasp; she held her fingers up in front of her and did some counting before letting a tiny squeal escape. When she caught the questioning look coming her way, however, she unexpectedly tried to smother whatever she had just thought of.

"What is it?" her companion asked.

Rin waved him off in failed casualness. "Oh, nothing, nothing. Don't worry about me."

Sesshomaru turned to fully face her and planted himself directly across her path, a move that never failed. The young woman glanced up guiltily before looking back down, drawing shapes in the snow with the front of her boot.

"Rin, what are you not telling me?"

"Well, um, I wasn't _exactly_ told not to tell you, but it was kind of implied, so I haven't mentioned it…."

"We aren't moving on until you tell me."

Rin mumbled something almost inaudible, but Sesshomaru's ears caught enough of it to make the corner of his mouth twitch sharply.

"Say that again, _louder_."

She looked up at him. "Kagome and Inuyasha's baby is going to be born pretty soon, if it hasn't come already."

It actually took a few seconds to process, though Sesshomaru made sure not to let that show. His little brother was about to be a father?

 _Father's line is about to be further disgraced?_

He had known this was bound to happen eventually ever since the priestess's return five years ago, but still, to now have the news be delivered for real…it was still almost impossible to comprehend.

 _What am I supposed to do with this information?_ he asked himself. _How am I to respond?_

After a few more moments of blankly staring back at Rin, the demon lord abruptly turned about-face and continued on as he had before. It was no concern to him whether Inuyasha had children or not; they were no more his responsibility than the mangy half-demon was.

* * *

For the next few days, Sesshomaru was entirely silent. Rin did not approach him once during this time, having clearly decided that it was best not to disturb him right now. The silver-haired demon stewed internally nonstop, turning over the news again and again in his mind, unable to let the subject go. He was also unable to determine why exactly he was bothered so much by this latest development in Inuyasha's life, which raised his ire all the more. Why should he care? Why was his mind dwelling so steadily on this issue?

 _It's of no consequence to me,_ he insisted, feeling more frustrated all the time. _My father already disgraced himself by bringing Inuyasha into this world- why does it matter that tainted line should be further sullied? Over generations to come the demon blood will grow so faint it will eventually cease to exist…and there will be completely human descendants of my father._

The thought stood out to Sesshomaru like a bright light in the middle of a pitch-black forest. Was this the crux of the matter, then? It was one thing for the Inu no Taishou to have a half-breed pup running around, but to think that one day there would be humans with no more than a drop of demon blood within them who could still claim to have the dog demon in their lineage was beyond insulting. It cheapened what it meant to be a son of the Great Dog Demon, even a full-blooded one such as Sesshomaru; he would be less respected by other demons, plagued with unending questions and sneers whenever one of them happened to cross his path. He could never erase the ever-widening black mark on his family's line.

Sesshomaru's mind was still on the matter when the group made camp for the night. He was dimly aware of Rin carefully observing him all through the evening, but at the moment he didn't care too much if he appeared to her to be sulking- as that was exactly what he was doing. Soon the chatter of Jaken's mindless prattling died down, the scraps from dinner were thrown away, and Sesshomaru was alone with his human companion. She maintained her silence a while longer, busying herself with feeding A-Un, brushing her hair, and setting out her bedroll. The most recent snowfall had melted away for the time being, but the air was still quite frigid, and the demon lord noted that an abnormally large stockpile of extra wood was situated nearby.

Rin tentatively settled herself on the grass nearby, angled partially away from Sesshomaru. After two minutes and no rebuke or huff, she inched closer until her back was to the same tree as his; shortly after that she scooted to the spot next to him, at which point she folded her hands in her lap and looked up for some time at the bare branches in the gloom above.

"So…" she began at last, still staring upwards. "What are you going to do?"

Sesshomaru stared ahead resolutely at the fire, watching the logs crackle and burn, disintegrating into embers and ash to be carried aloft by the air into the night sky, dispersed into oblivion to never be recognized again.

 _Much like Father's bloodline,_ he thought darkly.

"If I ever want to meet the baby, I guess I'll have to make a special trip by myself, huh?"

The demon lord continued to ignore her, willing her to walk away and go to sleep…and yet, some little part of him didn't really want that at all. He saw the girl hug her knees to her chest as a small sigh escaped her.

"Oh, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin murmured with far more tenderness than he'd expected. "Are you really going to let someone else's life determine yours?"

He couldn't help but look at her then. Her large dark eyes caught the reflection of the firelight, accenting the concern she so clearly felt for him; her recently brushed hair gleamed over her shoulders, her delicate hands clasped around one another. Sesshomaru suddenly wondered why he was so focused on her appearance, and pushed his concentration back to her words.

"You've always been determined to forge your own path. You've never been one to let anyone else tell you what to think, what to do- it's always been what _you_ think about yourself, not others."

Rin let go of her knees and rolled till they were under her, so that she was kneeling beside her companion. She gave him a gentle, knowing smile, one far beyond her young years.

"This doesn't have to be a source of shame for you. You're worried about what the other demons will think of you-"

 _How does she know that?_ Sesshomaru queried in stunned silence.

"-But you can use this to your advantage! When they hear about it, they'll expect you to be all ashamed and reserved, but imagine their shock when you handle it like it's perfectly natural; you live for conquering others, and in a way, not reacting how they want is like defeating them. They have no more power over you than you let them."

Of course they didn't- how had he forgotten that? Somehow he had lost sight in all this of his usual refusal to let anyone define him other than himself. He didn't need the approval of anyone, and never had; if another demon dared mock him, it would just give him the chance to show off Bakusaiga. The young woman beside him placed her hand on his arm.

"You are the greatest demon of the age. Just continue being the person you've always been, and I promise you no one will have the guts to imply you're anything less."

Sesshomaru returned her gaze, momentarily forgetting any of his various rules about contact and proximity when it came to Rin, and set his hand on top of hers. Despite his extreme aversion to ever associating any sort of emotion with himself, he knew he cared for her deeply, ever since she first smiled at him; now, however, as he looked down at that shining face, he felt something awakening beneath the caring. He'd felt this sensation flit through a few times over the past months since Rin had rejoined him, but it had never been for more than a moment or two. The feeling, whatever it was, seemed to have settled in without any intention of leaving, and the demon lord warily wondered if it could get stronger over time. He made a mental note to keep a close eye on this new feeling, and to observe if it surfaced only around the young woman.

"I am not worthy of the affection you so willingly bestow upon me, Rin," Sesshomaru responded quietly, applying the slightest bit of pressure to the girl's hand. "Even so…thank you."

He was sure she was blushing, though it may have just been the firelight dancing across her cheeks. Why did that please him? Rin attempted to stutter something out but could not quite succeed, and with just the ghost of a smile Sesshomaru withdrew his hand.

"You should probably get some sleep."

The young woman hastily nodded and whisked herself away to her place beside A-Un. Before long she began to emit the slow, measured breaths of sleep. Sesshomaru watched her for a while without really thinking about it, subconsciously still searching for the label to put on the feeling taking root at a depth of his heart he had not previously realized existed. After a time he set a few more logs in the fire- a task he would normally never deign to perform. If Rin was asleep she couldn't very well add fuel to the flames, and who was he to let her grow cold?


	9. Chapter 8- Compassion

**Chapter 8- Compassion**

The next few days brought no more snow, but the air remained cold and the sky an unpleasant shade of gray. Rin was clearly disappointed by this development, and she spent more time simply riding A-Un rather than skipping about on the ground as she normally did.

"The cold is much more enjoyable when you have snow to play in," she complained one afternoon to no one in particular. "Without snow, all you can think about is how cold you are."

Jaken looked down at her with a lofty attitude from his perch on one of the dragon's heads. "Hmph! It seems even the great unsinkable Rin can't handle our travels but for so long. Humans are just so pathetic and weak. Maybe you should just go home."

He stated the last sentence with great relish, giving the girl an evil grin. Rin set her jaw stoically and glared back at him.

"Everyone's entitled to be a little cranky from time to time."

The imp's haughtiness wavered slightly. "Oh, is it that time of the month again?"

He cautiously backed out of arm's reach and said no more. There were certain days where Rin could be much more easily aggravated than normal, and when those moods struck her she was not opposed to striking Jaken if he insulted her too much; Sesshomaru supposed he had been a bad example to her in this, but at the same time it was oddly satisfying to see her standing up for herself. She was usually so sweet-mannered and kind, which he of course preferred, but there was something about seeing the young woman get angry that made the demon lord want to laugh. Her version of getting upset was so mild compared to the vast majority of humanity…it only made her more endearing.

The party continued on with little being said by anyone. Sesshomaru recognized the rise and fall of the land around them and knew they were close to the village Inuyasha now called home; though the demon lord traveled all over the countryside for hundreds of miles, it was inevitable that his path should periodically intersect with this region, but he swore that it had nothing to do with wanting to check on his brother or anything else ridiculous like that. He couldn't help if he needed to pass through the area, and there was certainly no reason why he should go out of his way just to avoid the possibility of perhaps running into the half-demon. Sesshomaru walked ahead determinedly, silently daring Jaken to pipe up about recognizing their location. Thankfully, the imp was still preoccupied with warily watching his back.

They were passing within a few miles of the village when Sesshomaru halted. His eyes narrowed, his nose inspected the breeze, and a hand instinctively rested on Bakusaiga. Something was not right- there was an uneasiness all around, and…he sniffed again. There was the unmistakable scent of death in the air. It was a smell he regularly encountered on his journey, but this time, it was laced with the scent of someone he recognized. This was something he could not ignore, and without explanation he angled away from his intended path. Neither of his companions seemed to notice the sudden change in direction, so he was initially spared having to endure a barrage of questions. All was silent until the first huts of the village became visible, at which point Rin leapt off A-Un and raced forward to the leader.

"Lord Sesshomaru, that's Kaede's village!" she exclaimed, pointing forward enthusiastically.

"I am aware of that."

"Oh, I can't wait to see the baby! Do you think it's a boy or a girl? Did you come so I could see it? I wonder if-"

"I came because someone is dead."

Rin's talk instantly ceased, and her hands covered her mouth. Tears were already beginning to fill her eyes as she realized Sesshomaru would not have made the detour unless it was someone they knew.

"Where…where do we need to go?" she choked out.

Sesshomaru tilted his head back slightly to better catch the scent. "There," he decided, pointing out a house further ahead.

His companion gasped. "That's where Kagome and Inuyasha live!"

She took off into the twilight, racing over the frozen ground as if a horde of demons were after her. Sesshomaru refrained from quickening his gait, having no wish to appear harried or concerned when he arrived on his brother's doorstep. In two minutes he had reached his destination, and when he entered the home the scene laid out before him was just as he had suspected. Kaede stood in the corner, wiping off a wriggling armful of something, her face turned away from the rest of the room. The demon slayer Sango sat in another corner with her head in her hands while her husband tried to comfort her, but his words were broken by the flow of tears coming from his own eyes. Rin was crouched on the floor near the middle of the room, silently crying as she stared at the two figures just beyond her, clearly wanting to offer comfort but knowing it would do no good. Sesshomaru settled his attention on them, his face still as immovable as a mountain of stone.

Inuyasha was sitting there, his arms cradling his wife as she lay very still across his lap. Her eyes were closed as if she were merely sleeping, but there was no mistaking the pallor of death that tinged her whole countenance. There was no life in that body, not even a faint whisper to cling to for hope. The half-demon lovingly stroked Kagome's face over and over, pausing now and again to grasp her hair and inspect her carefully, as if thinking he could still find a sign of life. Inuyasha was openly sobbing as he held Kagome, now clutching her to his heart, now holding her out a ways to look at her again; it was obvious he didn't even realize his despised older brother was there observing him…or he was so grieved he didn't care.

"Kagome, you've got to come back," Inuyasha shakily whispered, kissing her forehead. "You can't leave me. I can't…I can't do this on my own."

His tears fell faster, and his grip tightened. He was silent for a few minutes as emotion roiled through him uncontrollably, and once the wave was past he continued.

"I don't know anything about being a father; I never had one around to show me what that meant. But I figured with you…you've changed me in so many other ways, I thought…I thought just maybe, I could do it, if I had you by my side."

He stared at Kagome's pale face, no doubt recalling memories from their past together. For the briefest moment, a smile fluttered near the corners of the half-demon's mouth, but it was erased as he let out a heartbroken wail and held his beloved close again. Sesshomaru beheld all this impassively, his eyes not dampened by even the tiniest amount of moisture, despite the cries and sobs that surrounded him. He watched Inuyasha with something that seemed awfully close to satisfaction, reflecting on all the times the mangy dog had smugly reminded his older brother that he was married to a human; Sesshomaru had cuttingly informed Inuyasha that he would likely outlive his wife and experience great sorrow when that day came, but the cur had insisted he would keep her alive well into old age. He had been confident he could protect her from any danger, and he was too present-minded to dwell on what seemed a distant future for more than a few seconds.

The demon lord looked around the hut at the various instruments and bottles that lay abandoned, trying to ascertain how this death had come to pass. Judging by the evidence, it appeared that Kagome had taken ill recently, and as she struggled to recover the time had come for her to give birth. The strain of trying to deliver the child coupled with an unforgiving illness had proven too great for her mortal body, and she had died even as she gave life to another. It was tragic by human standards, but not at all uncommon, and Sesshomaru prepared to leave. As he turned, however, Inuyasha at last looked up, and when their eyes met the elder of the two froze. The spark was gone from the half-demon's soul, his eyes devoid of life and energy; he was an empty shell, defeated and broken beyond repair- he would never recover from this loss. In that moment, Sesshomaru saw himself in his brother's eyes, and he felt a shadowed memory pass through him of heart-rending pain and searing grief.

He looked at Rin as she bowed her head and began to pray even as the tears streamed down her cheeks. If she had died, he knew he never would have been the same again, no matter what he might have tried to tell himself; she was his source of greatest joy, and for her he would gladly sacrifice anything if it meant keeping her by his side. Sesshomaru had seen that same passionate devotion in his brother's every action regarding Kagome- could he really consider denying Inuyasha a return to that life, knowing the depths to which that grief would plunge him?

The half-demon closed his eyes and lowered his head to rest against his wife. Sesshomaru realized his brother wasn't even going to _try_ to beg for Kagome's resurrection- Inuyasha was so completely convinced of his older brother's hatred for him that even his overwhelming grief could not persuade him to ask a futile question. Sesshomaru wordlessly wrapped his hand around Tenseiga's hilt and pulled the sword free of its sheath, and instantly all eyes in the room turned to stare at him. He ignored them all, instead focusing on the servants of the underworld that only he could see; they clung to Kagome while cackling with delight, eager to take their latest prize while these pitiful mortals unknowingly looked on. The demon lord reached back and took a mighty swing, barely giving Inuyasha a chance to get his arms out of the way. Tenseiga sliced through the underworld minions as easily as a fish through water, reducing the grotesque creatures to little puffs of sulfur that faded in a second.

The captive audience all fastened their gaze on the still priestess, waiting with baited breath to see what would happen. Kagome's eyes fluttered open as breath reentered her body, and the room exploded with cheers and cries of relief as the humans swarmed in. Inuyasha embraced Kagome in an unbelieving daze, his eyes now happy but utterly confused as he tried to process what was unfolding. While everyone talked at once and jostled for a good position, the half-demon looked up again and stared at Sesshomaru, his face a reflecting pool of a hundred different emotions; the words couldn't form, but the unending gratitude was clear enough even Sesshomaru could read it without any doubt. Kaede shooed Sango, Miroku, and Rin back slightly, gently fussing at them.

"Give them some room! They haven't even had a chance to welcome the child yet!"

The old priestess set the squirming bundle in Kagome's arms, and Inuyasha's attention was drawn downwards to the pink face of his newborn child. The baby was crying, of course, waving its tiny fists and kicking short legs inside the blanket, trying to worm out of the tightly wrapped cloth.

"Congratulations," Kaede said quietly, "it's a girl."

As if on cue, the baby opened her eyes for a moment to look around, and Sesshomaru saw they were as golden as her father's. Aside from that and a fairly pointed nose she appeared quite human, though she would likely be stronger and quicker than any mortal she'd ever meet. Inuyasha pulled his gaze away from her and regarded his brother again in a helpless manner.

"Sesshomaru…" he began in a truly humbled tone.

No further words could come. It looked like something was welling up in his eyes again, but before any of it fell the demon lord had left the house. Sesshomaru had been outdoors for all of five seconds when he heard someone join him.

"Lord Sesshomaru, where are you going?"

He didn't look away from the stars that were starting to twinkle into existence, his face as blank a slate as ever.

"I will go on a short distance. You may follow in a few days when you're ready," he answered.

Rin hurried to stand in front of him. "Why won't you stay?" she asked with distress.

"It will be better for Inuyasha if I am not here. He will feel obligated to thank me at some point, and I have no desire to listen; it will be best for both of us if I leave now."

The young woman didn't move aside to make way for him, which caused Sesshomaru to lower his gaze to her. She stood there wringing her hands over and over, her face shining with admiration, joy, a little trepidation…and something else he didn't recognize. Rin stared at him, wanting to voice some thought but apparently not knowing how; her breath came out in irregular clouds, and it was undeterminable if the tremor running through her was from cold or something else.

"What you did in there…it was so wonderful," she stammered out at last, that unnamable something in her eyes glowing brighter.

It puzzled Sesshomaru how he couldn't determine what Rin was feeling. Usually her emotions were very easy for him to ascertain, but this was something he hadn't seen before; it reminded him of approval and happiness, but this was stronger…deeper. He suddenly wondered if it was the same mysterious emotion that had recently taken up residence in his own self.

"Did you expect me to leave that child solely in Inuyasha's hands?" he answered. "He was right, he could never be a father without Kagome's help."

Rin smiled, and for a moment her nerves seemed to lessen. "Come on, Lord Sesshomaru, we both know that wouldn't have been enough to make you do it."

For the briefest space of time, Sesshomaru wanted to pull her to himself and just hold her close; seeing Inuyasha lose his mate had given the demon lord a fresh reminder of what he had felt when Rin lay dying, and he remembered his dedication of himself to giving her everything she could want in life- which included making sure she always knew she was valued above anything else. The moment passed and he still stood where he was, and the hesitation crept back over Rin's countenance. Sesshomaru had the distinct impression he'd missed something important, but he didn't know what.

"Come find me when you're ready," he reiterated almost absent-mindedly.

Rin mumbled a reply of some sort, and he took to the skies without looking back.

* * *

Rin happily spent the next four days helping to take care of the new baby, as well as making sure Kagome got plenty of rest and pampering. The Tenseiga may have completely restored Kagome to life and health, but that didn't stop Kaede from insisting the younger priestess take it easy for a couple days and let others do things for her. Still, Kagome wanted to do as much as she could when it came to caring for her newborn daughter, and Rin wholeheartedly accompanied her in petting and cooing over the infant.

"She's such a dear little thing," Rin complimented as her companion fed the child.

The mother smiled. "She certainly is well-behaved. Maybe she got less of Inuyasha's fiery temper than I was expecting."

"I bet so many girls will be envious of her eyes when she gets a little older."

"Yes…or afraid." Kagome's face darkened somewhat. "That's my one concern with having children who are one-quarter demon: how much scorn and prejudice will they have to face?"

Rin put a comforting hand to the other young woman's shoulder. "Inuyasha's a half-demon, and he's done pretty well for himself in making humans accept him in time; I'm sure your children will be known for their character rather than their parentage as well."

"I'll admit I had some reservations about naming her Izayoi; I hope it won't bring her bad luck, considering the fate of Inuyasha's mother…but once he found out it was a girl he insisted on the name."

"The spirit of little Izayoi's grandmother will watch over her, I promise. No harm will come to her."

A short time later the baby drifted off to sleep, and Rin wandered outside into the pale sunshine. Not too many of the villagers were out and about since it was quite cold today, but the young woman stayed rooted to the ground, listening for a specific sound. After a minute or two she dimly heard a very dull thud, and with a grin she hurried off in that direction; in time the thumps became louder, and just before rounding a corner Rin distinctly heard a sword swish through the air. She came around the bend to see Sango training a short distance from her house, with several disemboweled practice dummies strewn about and a number of obstacles set up to test strength, agility, and other important skills. The demon slayer leapt and spun, neatly decapitating her last dummy before her feet had settled back on the ground. Rin applauded as she drew closer, shaking her head in an impressed manner.

"You always make it look so easy!" she declared, gesturing to the burlap and straw massacre that surrounded them.

"It took a long time for me to get this far," Sango assured her before giving her a gentle hug. "How's Kagome?"

"She's doing great; I know she'll be back on her feet the instant Kaede lets her."

Sango chuckled. "I'm sure. So did you stop by to chat, or to receive a review in your training?"

Rin felt a grin coming on. "Well, if you're not too worn out from what you've already been doing…."

The demon slayer grinned back and hefted her sword. "I'm always ready for a fight."

The younger of the two drew her katana and paused a moment, surveying her opponent. In the past she usually waited for Sango to attack to begin the match, but she'd been learning from a new teacher recently, and she was ready to apply some of his techniques. In the blink of an eye, Rin unexpectedly darted forward and made a slash; Sango parried and thrust back, but there was no concealing the surprise she was clearly feeling. The girls dueled back and forth with far more intensity than they ever had before, jabbing and rolling and striking blow for blow.

"Rin, what's happened to you?" the demon slayer asked in amazement in between clashes. "The last thing I expected was for you to have improved!"

"Lord Sesshomaru wanted to take things up a notch!" Rin replied, locking blades before giving a sharp twist to disarm her adversary.

Sango's sword flew aside to land harmlessly in the grass, but she was not one to be so easily defeated. She ducked low to the ground and gave a sweeping kick to Rin's legs, knocking them out from under her, and then proceed to somersault over to her fallen weapon; she came up holding the sword and swung it out in a protective arc, as Rin was only a second behind her. On and on they went, until at last each made a tactical move at the exact same moment- and held their blades to each other's throats. Sango lowered her weapon, breathing heavily, but approval was shining brightly in her eyes.

"That was amazing," she said in wonderment, sheathing her sword. "You've made fantastic progress."

Rin blushed and looked down at her feet. "You're kind to say so."

"I mean it! You're so much more mobile than you used to be, and you calculated every blow, instead of just swinging a lot in hopes something would stick."

"I don't feel that improved when I'm practicing with Lord Sesshomaru; he's far superior to me in every respect, and I'll never come anywhere close to equaling him in battle…" she grinned slightly, "…though I did get very close to landing a strike, once."

Sango shook her head. "Don't compare yourself to him. He's a high-ranking demon: he's so powerful he didn't even _need_ the Shikon jewel to increase his strength, so he's in a class all by himself." She put an arm around her former pupil. "Seriously, by human standards you're quite formidable now."

Rin smiled up at her friend, feeling a wave of gratitude for her encouraging words. She knew Sango was still haunted by the memory of Naraku convincing her to kill Rin in order to kill him, so the demon slayer tried her hardest to do anything and everything to help Rin- whether in word or deed. Rin had insisted she held no grudge for that past decision, considering the threat Naraku had posed to them all, but Sango clearly still thought about it when she was with the younger woman. Rin now tugged on Sango's sleeve and led her towards the house.

"Come on. Let's see if the housewife Miroku has something tasty for us to eat."

Sango giggled. "He _has_ adapted to the domesticated lifestyle rather well. Whenever it's his turn to watch the children, I always come back to a surprisingly clean house and three young ones excitedly informing me of everything they did with their father."

"Hmm, maybe he's been using some sutras to make them behave."

They both laughed and strolled into the house.

* * *

Later that evening, Rin was enjoying a nice hot meal with Inuyasha and Kagome. She covertly watched the half-demon over the rim of her soup bowl, noting his wide-eyed wonderment at the tiny life in his hands which he had helped to create. It wasn't hard to tell Izayoi had completed captured his heart, and the observer couldn't help but smile as she thought about the adventures that were sure to come for the two of them in the future. At one point Kagome burned her tongue on the soup and let out a little yelp, which prompted her husband to worriedly fuss over her for the next five minutes to make sure she was really all right.

 _How far he's come,_ Rin thought to herself. _The selfish half-demon that once didn't care about anything or anybody is now a devoted family man._

"Rin, are you sure you have to leave so soon?" Kagome inquired, fondly petting Inuyasha to make him stop checking on her. "It seems like you just got here."

"I'd love to stay longer, but I have no desire to test Lord Sesshomaru's patience; I was lucky he didn't try to make me leave right away."

"I still can't believe he healed me of his own accord. Are you sure you didn't put him up to it?"

"In all honesty, I didn't even think about asking him. I was so distraught to find you, um, dead, and all thought just left me."

A somber air descended upon them for a moment. Rin recalled the scene from a few nights ago: how Lord Sesshomaru had strode across the room with such purpose, the way he boldly drew Tenseiga and didn't even hesitate to heal his brother's wife. He was just so _noble_ , reaffirming all of Rin's beliefs in his character and heart- even though he would have her believe it was all in her head. The young woman suddenly noticed that her heart was beating faster and her breathing slightly labored, and she hastily forced herself to calm back down.

"I just don't understand it," Inuyasha muttered, running a finger over Izayoi's cheek. "Sesshomaru's never wanted to help me, even when I asked for it. What made him do it?"

"Now, Inuyasha," Kagome admonished, taking on her instructive voice. "He has helped you in the past several times of his own volition. He gave the Meido Zangetsuha to you to strengthen Tessaiga, and he had multiple chances where he could have killed you but didn't- and I know it's because he didn't _really_ want any serious harm to come to you, even though he would never admit it."

Amazingly, the half-demon didn't argue with her. It seemed he was still shell-shocked more than anything over the whole subject, but not antagonistic. Satisfied that she had amply explained the matter, Kagome turned her attention back to their guest.

"How's life on the road been like with him, anyways? I would think it'd be terribly boring after a while."

"Oh, it's been wonderful!" Rin replied, taking a big slurp of her noodles. "It does get pretty quiet at times, but I know he's always mindful of me, and it's so sweet the way he looks after me when I'm not feeling well-"

Inuyasha looked at her sharply. "You're kidding me."

"Not at all. He even made me dinner one night when I was feeling kind of sluggish."

Kagome's jaw dropped. " _Sesshomaru_? We are talking about the same person, right?"

Rin tried not to look embarrassed. "Well, yes. I mean, he doesn't fawn over me or anything, but he takes excellent care of me when it's needed and always makes sure I'm content."

She stared down into her soup bowl, hoping her cheeks weren't flaming red. She knew her devotion to Lord Sesshomaru was always something she wore on her sleeve, but she didn't want them to see any of the other thoughts in her head; they were silly thoughts anyways, childish daydreams, but it would be mortifying nonetheless if they knew them. After another minute or two Inuyasha handed the baby to Kagome and stood up.

"I'm getting more wood for the fire. Rin, do you want to help?"

"Uh, okay."

 _Surely he didn't figure anything out, right? If anybody did, it would be Kagome; Inuyasha's too unconscious when it comes to this sort of thing._

They stepped out into the chilly night, a bitter north wind pulling at their clothes. Inuyasha bent down and began to gather wood from the pile stocked by the side of the house, but he did so slowly, as if playing for time.

"Rin," he began, but he said nothing more for a while.

The half-demon's face was a mix of emotions, and the young woman beside him began to have misgivings about following him out here. Inuyasha finally gave up the pretense of wanting to only get wood and turned to face her.

"Rin, you've got to be careful around Sesshomaru. He may have softened ever so slightly in recent years and gained a little compassion for those he knows, but…some things about him will never change."

"I don't get what you're talking about," Rin said innocently, refusing to admit anything.

"He's never going to…he's never going to love you; you know that, don't you? You're human, he's a demon- even the mere possibility is completely barred from ever crossing his mind. I don't even know if he loves his own mother."

Rin forced a laugh. "Inuyasha, is that all you were worried about? I thought it must be something serious."

The half-demon's ears twitched. "What?"

"I know better than to ever think about something like that. I've told you before I'm content just to follow him and be near him; it makes me happy to be with him, and that's all I expect."

Inuyasha began to pick up the split logs again. "So…you're not attracted to him or anything?"

"Heavens, no! Besides, he's hundreds of years older than me; I'm sure I'd be much better off with someone my own age."

"Okay," the half-demon replied with some uncertainty. "You're just so devoted to him; I couldn't help but wonder…."

Rin smiled and picked up a big armful of wood. "An easy enough mistake to make."

* * *

The goodbyes were not nearly as difficult this time around as they had been earlier in the year. Rin hugged and kissed all her friends before happily trotting off into the woods to track down Lord Sesshomaru. Inuyasha had said nothing more about the previous night's conversation, and she very much hoped he never brought the subject up again; Rin did not like to make a habit out of lying, but in certain cases she felt justified in doing such a thing. What was the point in talking about something that could never be? It was a waste of time, not to mention highly embarrassing, and talking about it out loud would only bring home the reality that she could never expect Lord Sesshomaru to have romantic feelings for her.

She couldn't pinpoint exactly when the feelings had first begun to grow inside her. Of course she had loved the demon in an innocent way from the very beginning, caring for her guardian with utter admiration and respect; somewhere along the line in the last couple of years she had noticed her heart beating very irregularly and her cheeks turning pink whenever he came to visit her, and at first she had been totally perplexed as to what was causing the sensations. She had chalked it off to simply being incredibly excited to see Lord Sesshomaru again, but the beating and blushing reoccurred even when he came several times close together. Something stirred in her heart every time he came to mind, and it only got stronger when she saw him. After a little subtle questioning with Kagome, she had realized that what she must be feeling was infatuation, and she waited for it to run its course and die.

…Except it didn't. Her mind wandered into fluffy daydreams where Lord Sesshomaru didn't care that she was human and he asked her to marry him, or she imagined him as a simple human who lived in the village and they were in love, but his family despised her, and the two of them had to fight through all sorts of odds to be together…Rin could admit to herself that she'd laughed on more than one occasion over the scenarios her poor brain came up with. But the fact still remained that the feelings wouldn't go away, even as Lord Sesshomaru's visits grew farther and farther apart; they only grew stronger, and when she was finally allowed to join the demon lord in his travels again the thoughts and desires completely engulfed her.

There were so many times when she walked with him that she wanted to reach out and hold his hand: even a gesture as small as that would have been more than enough to satisfy her longing heart, since she knew better than to ever hope for anything from Lord Sesshomaru. She managed to bury her feelings deep enough to prevent them from showing outwardly, but they still beat steadily within; they threatened to make her heartsick and melancholy, but Rin was strong enough to rise above the self-pity and simply be grateful to be with him at all. She couldn't ask for more than that, and never would- it was better to be with him as his companion and love him secretly, than to stay in the village and never see him or have a hope that some day he might hold her hand for a moment. At least if she was with him…she could dream.

She heard a voice suddenly snap in the bushes ahead, the tone angrily admonishing a certain dragon for stepping on a certain someone's hat. The young woman burst through the foliage and tackled Jaken to the ground, tickling him mercilessly.

"Here I am, Master Jaken!" she teased, pretending he would be happy to see her.

"Stop! Ha ha ha! Stop -hee hee- at once! You miserable -ha ha- rotten…."

"But why should I stop when you're obviously enjoying yourself so much?"

She tortured him for another minute before catching a glimpse of Lord Sesshomaru coming into sight, and she quickly stood up to greet him.

"Thank you ever so much for letting me stay a few days, Lord Sesshomaru. It was wonderful getting to see everyone again."

The demon lord gave her a nonplussed glance and started forward on the road only he knew. Rin gave a silent sigh, reminding herself of her determination to be content with their present arrangements. She could see him, she could talk with him (when he felt like it), and that would have to be enough- though on some days, she might just let her mind slip into a dream world; after all, what was life if she couldn't have a little fun now and again?


	10. Chapter 9- Designs For An Empire

_Act II_

 **Chapter 9- Designs For An Empire**

"Lord Sesshomaru, there's another village ahead! That's the third one today!"

The demon lord gave half a nod to acknowledge he had heard Rin's pointing out the obvious. Over the past few months he had pushed deeper into the country, further than Rin had ever been in her past travels with him, and the young woman was understandably awed by the new sights and experiences; this particular region had several large villages grouped close together, a possibility that apparently had never crossed Rin's mind before. It seemed she was always announcing some new discovery or commentating on the surrounding flowered fields and trees- a habit that Jaken regularly attempted to quash.

"Child, you are without a doubt the most dimwitted and obnoxious person I have ever met! Why can't you keep your thoughts inside you own head?"

"I want everyone else to appreciate all this beauty as much as I do!" the girl replied as if the answer were obvious. "People get so wrapped up in their own thoughts they often forget to take in the world that surrounds them, and it would be a crime for all the birds and trees and clouds to pass unnoticed."

Jaken harrumphed a reply of some sort and waited for his next opportunity to scold his traveling companion. The party finished descending the large hill behind them and headed across the wide open plain; even though this newest village was still a good five miles away, Sesshomaru could already hear the shouting and braying of the inhabitants, and his nose crinkled in disgust as he thought of having to walk through such a filthy place. He avoided coming into contact with humans as much as possible during his journeys, but there was the very rare occasion when it became necessary. He heard a soft _plop_ as Rin descended from A-Un's saddle, and a moment later she was trailing just off to his left, her eyes darting back and forth between him and the village.

"Um, my lord?" she asked hesitantly. "Is…is it my imagination, or…are we headed _towards_ that village?"

"You are not incorrect," Sesshomaru responded, his gaze trained on their destination.

"May I ask why we're going there?"

"There is a demon who lives here that I must speak to."

Rin looked shocked. "A demon lives in the village?"

"It happens from time to time; it is no different from what my foolish little brother does."

"And the people accept him and everything?"

The demon lord would have shrugged if he were one to use such a gesture. "He is very talented in crafting talismans to ward away evil spirits and the like, and he sells them to the locals to protect their homes and goods; I'm sure there are people who do not trust him, but he does well enough, obviously."

"What do you need to talk about?"

Jaken chose this moment to pipe up. "You insufferable wench! Stop peppering Lord Sesshomaru with such idle questions; honestly, when are you going to start being meek and submissive like most _normal_ women?"

A pointed rock suddenly sailed through the air and struck Jaken hard in the gut, causing the green imp to double over gasping. Rin sent a smirk his way, fire burning bright in her eyes.

"Haven't you learned yet I'm never going to be normal?"

Sesshomaru detected the tiniest hint of bitterness in that statement. He pulled a little further ahead of A-Un and Jaken to ensure there would be no more interruptions before sending Rin a questing look.

"Do you have a problem with who you are, Rin?" he asked quietly.

The young woman started a little, surprised at the insight. "Oh, no, I mean, not really." She shrugged. "Every once in a while I think about the strange looks people give me, either on the road when they see me with you, or when I go into a village for food and they wonder why I'm not at home with a baby on my hip. But it only bothers me for a moment, and then I remind myself that I'm happy to be with you, and if that costs me a few weird stares or rude comments…it's a price I don't mind paying."

"But you still don't think of yourself as normal?"

Rin gave a light laugh. "How could I? I ride a dragon and walk with the most powerful demon in the world every day!"

They were nearing the outskirts of the village now. It was midday, so the peasants' lives were in full swing; vendors yelled out the names of their wares, children chased each other while their mothers chattered, and livestock lowed and screeched. It was beyond Sesshomaru why any sane demon would ever willingly settle themselves in the middle of such chaos- or how they could stand the stench. Even as he and his followers passed between the first few buildings, the demon lord sensed all nearby eyes automatically turning to gawk at the newcomers. The realization didn't bother him in the slightest, but thanks to his prior conversation with Rin he now glanced back to see how she was faring.

Rin walked with her head held high, her eyes wide with curiosity as she looked back and forth to take in their surroundings; she didn't appear to be feeling self-conscious at the moment, perhaps empowered by their talk from a few minutes before. Satisfied of the young woman's position, Sesshomaru turned his attention to the onlookers who were also observing his companion. There were plenty of whispers and pointing, and some fervent looking back and forth between the demon and the girl in an effort to ascertain the connection; no doubt some drew the conclusion that Rin was his concubine, and Sesshomaru wished he knew which people thought that so he could cut them in half.

There were others, though, who stared at Rin in a different way, almost as if they were awestruck. Sesshomaru focused on those gazes, and found that most of them belonged to younger men; the demon lord gave them the most cutting stare he could, daring them to make a move of some sort. This was not the first time he had caught men practically salivating as they observed Rin: there had been several occasions when his group had passed someone on the road and the demon lord noticed the man's head rotating around to focus on the young woman as long as she was in sight. It turned his stomach to know these lowly human males were having filthy thoughts about his Rin; she was too pure and sweet for them, and they didn't deserve to so much as look at her. Sesshomaru slowed his pace long enough to get an arm securely behind Rin's back and put his hand on her shoulder blade, which prompted a terrified look on her face.

"L-Lord Sesshomaru?" she stammered.

"I don't like the way they're looking at you," he muttered in return, giving an especially evil eye to one leering farm boy. "They must know you are strictly off-limits."

Rin's face flushed but she kept quiet, and they pressed on through the town. After a few more minutes of gasping villagers and pointed glares, Sesshomaru turned aside into a fair-sized shop, pulling Rin along with him after giving Jaken orders to continue to the village outskirts. The shop was shadowed for the most part, lit by a few scattered bronze lamps suspended from the ceiling by dusty chains; the faint pools of light revealed a room filled with rack upon rack of charms, protective statues, and dozens of other items designed to promote luck, health, and the remaining myriad of things humans desired above all else in life. Incense clung to the air in a thick cloud, eerily wreathing itself around everything in sight like an all-encompassing snake, and Sesshomaru wondered if the pungent scent was what kept the store owner from gagging on all the human stench outside.

The demon lord released his companion to let her roam about the room, as they were the only customers inside at this time. He strode through the mystic atmosphere offhandedly, not the slightest bit daunted by all the paraphernalia meant to awe and slightly intimidate the usual patrons.

"I know you're here, Hiroshi," Sesshomaru called as he approached the counter at the far end. "Answer my questions and we can both carry on with our appointed tasks unhindered."

There was a sigh, and a tiger demon in his human form emerged from his crouched position behind the counter.

"That nose of yours is too good, Sesshomaru. I was hoping you'd think me at lunch."

Hiroshi was a head shorter than Sesshomaru, but he was powerfully built, and his pale yellow eyes held a keen alertness; his square face had six black stripes, three on each side, running from the ears and jaw to almost meet near the mouth. He now ran a hand through his short ginger-colored hair and cocked his head expectantly.

"Well, how can I help you today?"

"You live in a well-traveled village, and you hear many stories from pilgrims who stop here before they go on their way. Have you heard of any particularly troubling demons of late in this region?"

Hiroshi gave a simultaneous scowl and smirk. "Don't tell me you're now in the business of ridding the world of unwanted vermin; surely you haven't developed a sympathy for humanity."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed to slits. His and Hiroshi's fathers had made an alliance in ages past when the elder tiger demon's territory on the continent had been threatened; the coalition's end result was peace on the mainland and Hiroshi visiting with curiosity to learn more about the Great Dog Demon's land. Naturally- being the son of a new ally -he had initially stayed in the Inu no Taishou's palace, and as Sesshomaru was young enough at the time to still be living at home, the two had seen a lot of each other. Sesshomaru had no desire to use the word 'friend' to describe anyone he associated with, though he and the young tiger demon did spend a significant amount of time together playing childish games; perhaps it was all those long days chasing and play-fighting each other that made Hiroshi think he could address the other in such informal ways.

In the end, Hiroshi decided not to return home and moved to this region to make his wares and learn all he could about humans. He had no aspirations of making a name for himself or carving out his own territory, but it was true he stayed well-informed on current events thanks to the crowds of people who came from all around to buy his trinkets and spells. Sesshomaru preferred to think of his occasional visits not as asking for help, but rather letting Hiroshi save him the time of researching the biggest threats in the area.

"You know as well as I do that the more terrifying and powerful the demon, the greater glory will be in slaying it," the dog demon sneered.

Hiroshi shrugged. "There hasn't been too much activity around here lately. I've heard about an enormous snake demon making a menace of itself waaaaaay far away from here, so I wouldn't bother with him until you're closer to his nest; no point making a special trip just to whack his head off in two seconds." He absent-mindedly licked the back of his hand and rubbed it behind his ear. "Hmm…. Oh! I know the bear tribe over in the next valley recently lost their leader; from what I understand, they're kind of lost at the moment in selecting a new one, so I don't know if they might be open to some sort of alliance, maybe. After all, you will need _some_ warriors in this upcoming empire of yours to help keep things in order."

The two demons discussed a few more possible avenues to pursue before Rin wandered into sight. Hiroshi immediately ceased in his ramblings and stared at her a few seconds, then stared at Sesshomaru, and then back at the young woman.

"So, it's true!" the tiger demon muttered in amazement. "You really do have a human girl following you around."

"I do not see how that concerns you."

"Since when does stuff have to concern me for me to take notice? Hi there!"

Hiroshi reached past Sesshomaru to wave at Rin, who of course smiled back and walked over to introduce herself.

"You're even more beautiful than I had heard," the tiger demon declared, making an overdone bow to the girl.

Rin arched an eyebrow. "Someone's been talking about me?"

"Oh trust me, a lot more than just 'someone.' Any time I bump into anyone who's recently spotted our intimidating guest here," Hiroshi gestured to the unamused Sesshomaru, "they always talk about the stunning young lady who's never far behind. Tell me, how do you put up with this old grump?"

The dog demon sent a warning glower, which was blithely ignored by Hiroshi.

"It's a pleasure to be around Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin assured him. "I've never been happier in my life."

The shop owner clapped his hands. "Hoo-hoo, _Lord_ Sesshomaru! You keep a firm leash, don't you?"

"We're leaving now, Rin. This flea-bitten cat's mewling grows tiresome."

Hiroshi's hand suddenly shot out to examine Rin's locket, a movement which clearly frightened her, and Sesshomaru saw with some pride that her hand was at the ready to grab her sword hilt.

"Say now," the tiger demon whistled with appreciation, "where'd you get this? I haven't seen one of these in ages. This looks like an original model, too; those were way more accurate than the later knockoffs…."

Rin coolly backed away out of reach. "Lord Sesshomaru gave it to me a long time ago."

Hiroshi's eyes darted back to the other demon, curiosity and suspicion growing quickly on his face. "Oh really? My, my, Sesshomaru, that's not a gift I would ever expect you to give- it's far too sentimental. Tell me, was it blank when you got it?" He was getting a devilish grin now. "I would _love_ to hear it before you go."

Sesshomaru was stuck. He wanted to get Rin out of here now before Hiroshi explained anything to her, but if he abruptly turned and stormed away, Hiroshi would no doubt triumphantly burst out the reason why. There was a moment of silence as Rin sized up the person before her, and then with a slight disgusted noise she turned away to join her companion.

"I'm not one to keep Lord Sesshomaru waiting," she replied loftily.

They walked out together into the blindingly bright midday sun, and Rin suddenly stamped a foot in indignation, looking thoroughly put-out.

"How dare he talk to you that way!" she exclaimed, scowling at the closed curtain behind them. "He was terribly rude, and he had no respect for personal space."

Sesshomaru found himself smiling on the inside at her fierce loyalty. He was incredibly relieved Hiroshi had pushed too far there at the end and tipped the scales against himself in Rin's eyes; the dog demon wasn't at all sure what he would have done if she had realized the two souls in the locket were their own. He quickly headed away from the shop, determined to amply distance himself from the place before Hiroshi popped out and shouted anything incriminating after them.

* * *

Early the next morning, Sesshomaru sought out the bear demons to determine if they would pledge their allegiance to him, or if they would rather challenge his superiority and earn instant death. They were surprisingly easygoing creatures, declaring their fealty almost as soon as he was done talking, and there was no hint of them having ulterior motives in accepting him so quickly. They even happily offered up some choice meat they had recently hunted down as a token of their good will, which the demon lord accepted only because he knew Rin would eat it. Sesshomaru's party left the bear demon tribe with the latter waving and cheering, promising to be of service any time they might be needed.

"What an accommodating group of fellows!" Jaken commented with surprise once they were underway. "They must be very simpleminded fools indeed to not even question to whom they're pledging their loyalty…."

Rin took on a look of mock horror. "Master Jaken! Are you saying one should think twice before following Lord Sesshomaru?"

The green imp practically screamed in fear as the leader turned back on cue to stare Jaken down with a bone-melting look.

"I s-s-swear I meant nothing by it, milord!" he wept as he flung his arms over his head and cowered in the grass. "I swear, I swear, I swear!"

There was no reply from Sesshomaru, but A-Un did step on Jaken quite hard a few seconds later. The group continued on as the sun slowly climbed higher to shine its rays over the budding spring world; Rin was snacking on some nuts, while Jaken was still too terrified to speak, so it was an unusually quiet walk for some time. Sesshomaru did nothing to encourage either of them to change their current positioning, but he knew it was only a matter of time before someone would feel compelled to start chattering. After a good half hour of silence Jaken sat up a little straighter in his place on the dragon's hindquarters, sticking his beaky face high in the air as he intently sniffed. In a moment he'd jumped down and was scurrying through the marshy grass, clearly on the trail of something he couldn't ignore.

"Ah-ha!" the little demon cried in another minute.

He proudly trotted back towards everyone, dragging a faintly squawking lump of some sort. It quickly became evident Jaken had found a wounded young red-crowned crane, and if there were any doubts as to his intentions, he made them clear in another moment.

"I haven't had roasted bird in quite some time!" the imp cackled with delight. "It certainly is lucky I have an always-ready source of fire; if you'll give me just half a second I'll toast this right up and we can be on our-"

Rin leapt off A-Un like a pouncing wild cat and gently but quickly snatched the crane away, clutching it to her chest.

"You _monster_!" she shouted. "How could you even _think_ of wanting to kill something as beautiful as this? He's just hurt; he'll heal up before long and be as good as new!"

Jaken protested. "It's the law of nature! I have every right to eat him. Look at how that wing's bleeding: there's no way that'll mend before I or something else gobbles him up."

Rin was now back on A-Un and hurriedly fishing for her medical kit as she attempted to balance the bird in her arms out of the imp's reach. She stroked the crane's head several times in a soothing way, assuring him she meant no harm.

"Lord Sesshomaru, please don't let Jaken eat him!" she wailed. "I promise he won't cause any trouble. I'll just keep him until he gets better."

"That's not fair!" the green demon shrieked.

Sesshomaru turned away from the spectacle. "Your screaming is grating on the ears, Jaken. If you say anything else for the rest of the day, I will roast you with your own staff."

He heard a gulp from behind but nothing else, and he began to push ahead once again. Rin was very quiet for the next few hours, devoting herself to binding up the injured wing, feeding the bird, and keeping a wary eye on Jaken. She cradled the animal lovingly, running her hand across his smooth feathers over and over, just smiling down at her charge; the crane did not struggle or seem the least bit anxious to get away, but was instead settled in her lap as easily as a cat. When they stopped briefly at midafternoon, the young woman scrambled away to a nearby stream to net some fish, leaving the bird on A-Un's saddle. The dragon kept one head focused on its passenger and the other trained on Jaken, daring the imp to try anything underhanded; Jaken silently harrumphed and turned away, resigned to the fact he would not get his way this time.

Sesshomaru observed Rin's nursing skills over the course of the day, noting the genuine care and concern she showed for a creature that could never thank her, never do anything for her in return. It was clear she had a natural instinct for such a task: she would make the perfect mother someday…

… _Except she'll likely never be one, as long as she's determined to follow you._

There was a slight press of guilt at that thought. Sesshomaru had broached the subject with Rin once or twice of her someday settling down and raising a family, but her answer was the same every time: all she cared about was staying with him.

"I love children, of course," she'd admitted, "but if it came down to the two, I'd still choose you. I can't have both; it's not like I could have a family and tow them around with me!"

Watching her now as she drew out her cloak and wrapped it around the crane, Sesshomaru suddenly was under the impression that he was robbing the world of a most valuable contributor; Rin would raise wonderful children, make her husband the luckiest man in the world, provide her village with strength and wisdom…but the demon lord shook his head. For better or for worse, this human had bound herself to him, and there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

Night came on, and the group halted to take a rest. Jaken sulkily curled up on the far edge of the campsite, refusing to even look at Rin- despite the fact she'd tried to make peace by giving him first choice of the meat from the bear demons. The young woman rolled her eyes and set about feeding the crane some more fish, dangling the little silver slivers just out of his reach so the bird had to beg just a little before she'd relinquish them. The animal ate and ate, which Rin apparently found very pleasing.

"Good Red!" she cooed. "Good boy! You'll get well again in no time with a hearty appetite like that."

"I take it you've named him now," Sesshomaru commented, watching as the crane snatched a fish away, barely missing Rin's fingers.

"Yes indeed. I have to have some way to address him."

"You do understand that naming him will make you more attached."

The girl grimaced slightly, but nodded. "I know. But I don't know how long I'll have to take care of him; he could be stuck with me for weeks, and if so I don't want to be rude by simply calling him 'you.'"

 _Only Rin would worry about being rude to a bird._

Red, apparently full, flopped into the young woman's lap and settled in to fall asleep. Rin leaned against a nearby tree and looked as if she were going to follow suit, but the demon lord wasn't ready to let that happen.

"You haven't eaten yourself, yet."

Rin glanced at him in surprise. "I'd forgotten…I don't want to disturb him though, so I'll wait till he's in a deeper sleep to move him."

Sesshomaru plucked her backpack from the ground and tossed it to her side.

"Oh. Uh, thank you."

She pulled out some fruit and began to nibble on it, periodically giving Red a visual check to be sure he was comfortable.

"Lord Sesshomaru, why don't you like human food?"

"It has no appeal for me whatsoever," the demon lord replied. "I find the flavors repulsive and overbearing."

Rin chucked the inedible part of her fruit away into the shadows. "Is there anything you do like? Do you suck the blood out of squirrels when I'm not around?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her, though he knew she was joking. "I am not a lowly woodland demon. Having been born into a family of high status, I am accustomed to the types of dishes served in my father's palace; most of the ingredients would be things you've never even heard of, and many of them would do you bodily harm of some sort, if not outright kill you."

"Hmm, okay," Rin sighed. "I thought maybe you were just super particular about how normal food is prepared. It's too bad; I'd love to cook for you."

"You are not my servant."

"I know, but I still want to do things for you." The young woman began to unwrap a bar of some sort. "Are you going to have a palace once you're done setting up your empire?"

Sesshomaru picked up a pebble and flicked it thirty feet away to whack Jaken on the back of the head. The imp yelped and whipped all around, trying to spot the bug that must be nearby.

"A leader must have a seat of power from which to rule. Subjects are more likely to stay in line when there's a visual reminder of who's in charge."

Rin chewed thoughtfully for a few minutes, absent-mindedly petting the bird nestled between her legs. After a while she glanced over at her companion, and there was something that almost looked akin to fear in her eyes.

"Are humans going to be some of those subjects?" she asked softly.

Sesshomaru blinked back for a few seconds before shaking his head. "It has never been my intention to rule humankind as well."

It suddenly struck him that their conversation was taking place from almost opposite sides of the clearing. Without pausing to analyze why he bothered, the demon crossed over and sat down a pace or two away from Rin.

"Despite the fact that humans and demons live in the same world, in many ways we do not share it. People have their villages and castles, and the demons have all the rest, unofficially." He raised his gaze to the stars, watching the nightly patterns emerge. "My aim is to prove myself the strongest and most powerful being in the world, so humans are automatically excluded from the list of those to conquer since- no offense -they do not offer the slightest challenge in conquering. They will never pose a threat to me, and therefore, I leave them alone."

His companion seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "So, it's possible that you could have your kingdom established somewhere, and the humans would never ever know it, because there's no need for crossover. It would be like a hidden empire under their noses!"

"It's possible," Sesshomaru conceded.

"I'll bet you it is what happens," Rin declared, getting a little excited. "Kagome's told me there are no demons where she comes from, but maybe it's just that no one's ever seen them because you have them all under submission; either that, or you've killed them all by then."

"Both are possible outcomes."

For some reason, that answer made the young woman chuckle a bit. A moment or two later, though, the laugh died down and her face became rather downcast.

"What's the matter now?" Sesshomaru prompted after too long of a silence.

"Nothing."

The demon sent a disbelieving stare. "Surely you've learned by now that answer will never satisfy me."

Rin smiled a little in spite of herself. "I was just thinking about how I won't be there to see your empire reach completion."

Sesshomaru didn't know how to answer that one. She spoke the truth and knew it, so he couldn't lie to make her feel better or hopeful. It was a rather awkward pause they endured, one the demon lord honestly didn't know how to end without sounding cruel.

"I wish I were immortal," Rin whispered, turning her face away.

She wasn't fast enough: Sesshomaru glimpsed the tear as it rolled down her cheek. Usually he did everything he could to prevent the subject of Rin's mortality from surfacing, for both their sakes, but this time it had snuck up on him. It hurt him to see her shoulders quake from a sorrow he could not ease, but there was nothing he could say that wouldn't sound trite or ridiculous. Rin dragged her sleeve across her face and guiltily looked back at him.

"Sorry. I know how much you hate crying."

Sesshomaru rose to his feet, looking down at the bowed head beside him. "You know I let you get away with things no one else could."

He couldn't just leave her like this. He'd sworn to himself to be everything for her he could be, and he knew right now she needed comfort more than anything…but he was at a loss as to how to give it. He'd seen Inuyasha console Kagome many times with an arm around the shoulder, or an embrace, or any of the other numerous movements humans preferred in times of need. How did those things help? They didn't change anything; they were all meaningless gestures that in no way affected the outcome of the situation. The demon reached out his hand to settle it on Rin's hair, but withdrew it before he could touch her.

"What would you have me do, Rin?"

He'd said it so quietly, Sesshomaru wasn't sure at first if she'd even heard him. But after a while, the young woman lifted her eyes to return his gaze; she watched him for what seemed a long time, as if she were assessing whether she'd heard him right or not.

"Would…would you let me sit beside you a while?" she finally breathed out.

Sesshomaru would have smiled if he were more accustomed to the action. He lowered himself back down to the earth and reclined against the large tree behind them, their sleeves just touching. Rin didn't say anything else for the remainder of the evening, but he assumed she must be content with the arrangement, as her smile never dimmed; she stroked Red's back, checked his bandage, and occasionally glanced up at her neighbor with a shy grin. The fire grew dim as the stars thickened overhead, and before much longer the young woman began to yawn. The demon lord waited for her to give into sleep and crawl away for her bedroll, but she seemed determined to stay with him as long as she could.

Finally, however, Sesshomaru felt a gentle weight fall onto his shoulder; in amazement, he looked down to confirm what he knew was there. Rin had gone to sleep as she sat there beside him, her cheek and upper arm settled against her companion. Sesshomaru was not at all sure how to react to this development, and for several minutes he simply stared at her, trying to ascertain whether or not he should be affronted. After a time, he let himself relax, mentally pointing out that Rin certainly hadn't _meant_ to fall asleep on him. He closed his eyes so he could rest for a brief while; it wouldn't hurt to let her sit there for a few minutes.


	11. Chapter 10- A Flower Unfolding

**Chapter 10- A Flower Unfolding**

Sunshine was streaming down through the overhead branches when Sesshomaru opened his eyes again. Everything was exactly as it had been the night before, including (he saw with relief) Jaken still sawing logs; no one had seen the demon lord sleeping next to the human girl, and he carefully pulled himself away so Rin would not know it, either.

 _How could you let that happen?_ he berated. _For all you know, some other demon passed this way in the night and saw you. What would you do if word of this were to get out?_

Sesshomaru took a few urgent sniffs at the air, but he could not catch any traces of someone beyond his companions. Perhaps he had been spared humiliation. Rin stirred behind him, and shortly she was stretching and rubbing her eyes sleepily: she seemed completely unaware of what had transpired.

"Good morning, Lord Sesshomaru!" she greeted brightly, giving a final yawn. "Did you sleep well?"

He nodded. Truth be told, he had slept very peacefully, deeper than he usually would. Why was that?

"I hope I haven't kept you waiting. Just let me change Red's dressing and I'll be ready!"

Soon the group set off, angling deeper into the woods. The crane seemed more alert and perked up today, his head swiveling back and forth to take in his surroundings with curiosity.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better," Rin informed him, cuddling him close as they rode along. "I hope your family isn't worried…or are you maybe old enough to be on your own? I wonder what happened to you, anyway? Did you catch on a thorn bush, or-"

"Good grief!" Jaken interjected from his position of walking beside A-Un. "It's not like he can answer you: he's a dumb animal, for heaven's sake! Your lack of intelligence never ceases to amaze me."

Rin stuck her tongue out at him. "I _know_ he can't answer me, but who's to say he can't understand, at least? We must respect all creatures and treat them kindly."

"Oh really? Then why do you throw snowballs at me and sing teasing songs?"

"You provoke me. I'm entitled to react, you know."

The imp abandoned the subject for the time being, but Rin lowered her voice when she spoke to the crane from then on. The sun rose higher as they traveled further, and after a time Sesshomaru began to catch a whiff or two of wolves; the scent was not that of any demons belonging to the tribe of the one called Koga, which put Sesshomaru on instant alert. He had a faintly civil relation with Koga and his followers, but those not under the wolf demon's rule were all aggressive and wild, eager to attack practically anything they came across. In a while, Rin slipped off A-Un and put herself just behind Sesshomaru.

"Is something the matter, my lord?" she inquired, glancing around at the woods, which seemed to be growing more dark and dense. "You appear tense."

Sesshomaru hesitated. While she wasn't traumatized for life about anything and everything to do with wolves, Rin had little love for the ravenous creatures that had killed her as a child, and the demon lord had no wish to worry her unnecessarily.

"I'm sure it is nothing of consequence," he at last replied.

"It _is_ rather oppressive in here, isn't it? I feel like the trees are watching us."

Sesshomaru's ears zeroed in on footsteps through leaves a split second before his hand wrapped around Bakusaiga; he did not draw the sword, but stood ready to do so at a moment's notice. There was another rustle, and then four wolf demons stepped into view not twenty paces ahead. They were fairly unremarkable as far as demons went, though the leader did have a nasty clawed scar over where his left eye used to be; with his one remaining eye he glared at the halted party with something that could only be termed as malice. Sesshomaru pulled Bakusaiga far enough out of the sheath to make the telltale _click_ , letting these ruffians know he would not hesitate to defend himself.

"Well, look here, boys; it seems we've found a demon who obviously thinks way too highly of himself. Whaddya need an entourage like this for, you bleached-out freak?"

Rin's face pulled down into an ominous scowl, and she took half a step forward before Sesshomaru stretched his arm out to hold her back.

"But Lord Sesshomaru, he can't talk to you like that!" she whispered, her vexation clearly showing.

"Sesshomaru?" the wolf leader asked harshly as an even more sinister countenance came over him. "Isn't that interesting? I was looking for you, and here you walk right into my domain. You're most obliging."

"What business could you possibly have with me?"

The wolf demon took a few steps forward. "My name is Ichiro. I am the leader of my pack; I ensure my tribe with the best hunting grounds, protection from those who would do them harm…and I determine how to deal with threats, especially those that plant themselves directly in my way."

"Have you tried walking around them?" Jaken spat out dryly.

Ichiro glared at the imp. "Shut up, toad, before I use you as a chew toy."

"You do not want to cross me," Sesshomaru intoned, staring down the opposing demon with a glacial expression. "Many have tried, and all have failed. I assure you that you will fare no different."

Ichiro let out a short bark of a laugh. "Why should I believe that? You're clearly one of those aristocratic demons who spends his days larking about the countryside and bickering in marbled halls over pointless regulations no one will follow." He cursed. "Your kind has taken too many pages out of the humans' book; you shouldn't even call yourselves demons!"

In less than the space of a breath, Bakusaiga was out and ready to wield. The wolves paused in their advance and warily eyed the long blade; its powerful aura was impossible to miss, and the demons were no doubt weighing their chances against such a weapon.

"I prefer to know why someone opposes me before I destroy them," Sesshomaru stated, "but if you insist on coming any closer I will cut you down."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Ichiro sneered. "See, we heard you became allies with the bear demons not too far from here. We've been in a territory dispute with them for years, so anyone who's a friend of theirs isn't someone we take to very kindly."

"Oh brother, is that all?" Jaken snorted, disappointed. "I thought you'd have a _real_ complaint, like we'd killed your father or something. Run home, little doggies, and maybe you'll live long enough to have a couple bratty pups of your own."

Ichiro snarled and brandished his claws. "I've had about enough of you, little punk!"

Rin let out a small gasp and pulled closer to Sesshomaru as her eyes scanned the surrounding trees; she didn't seem fearful, but she was concerned about something.

"There are more of them," she murmured.

Dozens upon dozens of eyes were materializing in the shadows, all of them angry and full of hatred. They drew closer, revealing more and more wolf demons, and behind them were more advancing eyes. Rin drew her katana and gave a challenging grimace to the nearest wolves; despite his appreciation of her bravery, Sesshomaru motioned her back towards A-Un.

"Fly out of here and wait till I'm finished, Rin," he commanded calmly, never looking away from the nearing hoard.

"But I want to help!" the young woman cried in dismay. "Isn't this why you've been teaching me?"

Ichiro let out a roar and charged, followed by over a hundred bloodthirsty wolves. Sesshomaru, unfazed, raked his sword over the first line of defense and watched them drop in unison to the ground, howling and screaming as Bakusaiga's energy ate away at their flesh; by the time the second wave had been struck down, the preliminary attackers had already disintegrated into nothing. The demon lord did not toy with the enemy as he normally would have, but instead aimed to take them all down as quickly as possible: there was no time for amusement as long as Rin was present. While in mid-strike against his attackers, he glimpsed a wolf pouncing right at the lone human; Sesshomaru's whip of light was halfway to her when Rin dodged her adversary and proceeded to plunge her sword straight through his chest.

Sesshomaru fought his side of the battle without even looking at what he was doing for the next few seconds, instead watching in amazement as Rin disposed of one demon after another. She moved with quick precision and grace, just like he'd taught her, and if she was at all afraid she let none of it show. The demon lord's heart swelled with pride and- he hated to admit it -unchallenged affection for his student; perhaps he _was_ being unnecessarily protective of her to think she needed to be evacuated from the battle. She, Jaken, and A-Un formed a deadly triangle, cutting and blasting away at anything that dared approach them.

The fight would have ended sooner if Sesshomaru had room to fire off the massive energy blasts Bakusaiga was capable of mustering, but that was not an option when Rin was so close; even though he could take down a score of enemies with one swipe, it felt like it was taking forever to slay everyone. He caught sight of Ichiro dancing out of reach now and again: the coward was still alive only because he kept ducking behind his warriors whenever a sword came too close. Sesshomaru stabbed an especially large wolf…and an instant later Rin let out a terrified yelp. As it rolled in its death throes, the demon came dangerously close to the young woman's feet, missing her by mere centimeters; if any of the infected bodies came into contact with her, Rin would be instantly swallowed up by the lethal energy of Bakusaiga and cease to exist in a matter of seconds.

"A-Un, get her out of here!" Sesshomaru snapped, cleaving the next wolf clean in two.

The dragon snatched Rin up with his teeth and tossed her onto his back. It was somewhat difficult to take off with wolf demons leaping and clawing everywhere like a furry cloud, and though he got his feet off the ground eventually, A-Un was noticeably struggling to break free of the battle. The demon lord took out another forty fleabags.

"Down!" he commanded.

A-Un crouched low as Sesshomaru levied off a blinding wave of light skyward. All the wolves overhead were vaporized in a blink, significantly reducing the enemy's numbers. The dragon bolted for the crown of the forest, but midflight a hurtling missile launched itself from a nearby branch; Ichiro was headed dead-on for the saddle, and Rin's grip on her sword was unsteady as she fought to hold onto both it and the reins of a somewhat panicked A-Un. There was no time to shout a warning, no possibility of sending a contained energy wave at the attacker; Sesshomaru reacted on instinct and threw himself upwards between Ichiro and Rin.

As Ichiro's razor-sharp claws swiped at the girl's head, Sesshomaru flung his arm out protectively, palm out to catch the demon's wrist. However, his timing was off by a fraction, or Ichiro was faster than he appeared, and the claws tore into not only the hand but his entire forearm as well. Sesshomaru locked eyes with Ichiro, and then with a deadly smile he proceeded to rip the wolf demon's heart right out of his chest. He released the body and let it fall to the ground with complete indifference, unmoved by the lifeless thud that followed. Ichiro's remaining followers howled with rage and began to scale the trees, hungering for revenge.

"A-Un, clear the trees. Now."

The dragon obediently zipped through the leafy boughs, Jaken clinging to the beast's tail for dear life and wailing for them to move away faster. Once they were sufficiently distanced, Sesshomaru gave the swarming wolves below one last contemptuous glance before releasing an enormous blast from Bakusaiga; when he looked back, the wolves (as well as most of the forest) were utterly obliterated. The demon lord flew above the untouched treetops for two or three miles before finally spotting A-Un, who was just setting down by a winding stream.

"Milord, you did brilliantly!" Jaken sang before his master's feet had even touched the ground. "Those mangy wolves never stood a chance against such a great demon as yourself! Your swordsmanship is unrivaled, a thing of envy for all…."

Sesshomaru didn't even listen as the imp trailed on and on. He made straight for Rin, who was hunched over as she sat on A-Un's back, tears spilling from her eyes.

"What happened?" the demon lord questioned, turning the young woman to face him and visually sweeping her for harm.

"It's Red!" Rin sobbed, looking up with a heartbroken expression. "When the wolves charged he spooked and tried to fly away. I was trying to keep an eye on him and fight at the same time, but I couldn't, and when I had a chance to look back h-he was gon-n-n-e!"

"He flew away to safety; that's his natural instinct."

"But he was still hurt! How could he have gotten away in time? What if one of the wolves got him? I can't bear to think- oh! Your arm!"

Rin stared in horror at the mangled, bleeding limb in front of her. Sesshomaru had forgotten it was even damaged; it would stop bleeding very soon, and by tomorrow morning the wound would be healed entirely.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru, I had no idea it was that bad!"

Tears suddenly abandoned, Rin pulled out her medicinal kit and sprung from the dragon's back hastily. She took hold of the demon lord's good arm and attempted to drag him to the stream, which he amusedly resisted.

"It will cure on its own," he assured her, watching as she put her full weight into pulling him, to no avail.

"But it's so deep! Surely something has to be done for it."

Sesshomaru pried her fingers off his arm. "I have survived far worse."

Rin still appeared quite distraught. "Lord Sesshomaru, I _need_ to look at it. You saved me, and injured yourself in the process…" she spread her hands out helplessly. "I can't just accept that and do nothing."

Sesshomaru considered this. He had absolutely no need for medical attention, so that should have been the end of the matter right there; in spite of this knowledge, a small part of him reasoned that he would be doing this for Rin's sake, not his own. She wanted to feel like she was repaying him for protecting her: if he denied her request, it would likely cause her considerable consternation. He gave her half a nod, and with a relieved smile Rin led him over to a group of sundried boulders beside the water's edge.

"I don't know if you'll feel any of the stinging from this," the young woman explained as she waved a little tube, "but if you do, I promise I'm not trying to hurt you."

Rin began to very methodically tend to the wounds. She rinsed the hand and arm with water, afterwards drying them with a clean cloth in an almost reverent fashion; she spread some of the gummy liquid from the tube across the gouges, and after a moment's hesitation she began to gently massage it down into the injured flesh. Sesshomaru was strangely fascinated by the whole process, since he'd never had to deal with tending to an injury before; no wonder humans tried so hard not to let themselves get hurt, as the recovering was such a production. Eventually his attention shifted to Rin, and he became absorbed in reading the thoughts and feelings running across her face. She was worried about hurting him, but anxious to thoroughly clean everything out; she was delighted to tend to him, and hopeful he would appreciate her work.

 _She is so easy to understand_ , the demon lord thought fondly.

After a few minutes more, Rin began to carefully wind strips of cloth around his arm. Up and over, up and over she went, covering the bloody gashes with the soft material as she might a newborn infant, taking care not to cause any discomfort.

"I suppose I should count myself fortunate you had that bird to practice on recently," Sesshomaru commented, making one of his rare attempts at humor.

He instantly regretted the remark. Rin nodded mutely and sniffed, bending low to concentrate harder on her bandaging.

 _Fool! She loved the crane; now is not the time to make light of him._

He spoke a little softer, hoping she understood he was sorry. "Rin, I'm sure he flew away to safety. He was looking very well this morning, and no doubt he slipped between the ranks while the wolves were focused so closely on us."

She paused a moment to meet his eyes. Her dark brown hair had all fallen forward on account of leaning over, framing her face and drawing subtle attention to her delicately beautiful features. Sesshomaru wondered in frustration yet again why he seemed to be thinking so much about Rin's appearance over the past few months; why did his mind insist on dwelling upon such a trivial subject? The young woman tied off the strip and moved to wrapping his hand. She cradled it in one of her own while her other hand worked around and around with the cloth; Rin's touch was very gentle, even tender, and Sesshomaru realized he might possibly be enjoying the sensations traveling across his skin. Her hands were still smaller than his even though she was grown up by now, and for one unfathomable moment he wanted to wrap his hands around hers, just for the sake of holding them. It was a ridiculous notion of course, but it wouldn't leave him alone.

Rin finally finished her work and (it seemed to Sesshomaru) reluctantly withdrew her touch. She offered a worried smile.

"Does it feel like I did all right?"

Without thinking about it, Sesshomaru tucked back a strand of her hair that had fallen across her eyes; he noticed she drew her breath in rather quickly, and he wondered if he had misstepped somehow.

"Your nursing skills are second to none."

Rin's cheeks took on several pink highlights, or perhaps it was just a trick of the sunlight bouncing off the nearby water. Sesshomaru rose and began to walk away from the stream.

"We still have several hours of daylight left; we should use them while we can."

The other three all fell in behind him without question. Throughout the rest of the day, the demon lord would find himself tracing his finger over the bandages, as if he were trying to recall what it had felt like to have Rin's hand there; he would realize he had no reason to be doing this and quickly drop his hold, but ten minutes later he noticed that his hand was at it again…almost in a mournful way.


	12. Chapter 11- Violated

**A/N:** So almost this entire book could have easily gotten away with a Teen rating, but this chapter and one other might qualify as Mature content in some people's eyes. Since I live in mortal fear of wrongly rating a story and getting banned, I aired on the side of caution. Anywho, an explanation for anyone who cares about ratings and was wondering why this mostly fluffy story got an M slapped on it.

* * *

 **Chapter 11- Violated**

Jaken let out a mighty sneeze, startling a flock of birds from their respite in a nearby bush. The winged creatures burst out of the foliage and rose towards the sky, flapping like mad and cooing at each other in their unintelligible language.

 _Red?_

With a sigh, Rin shook her head and looked back down at her plodding feet. It had been almost a week since the attack by the wolf demons, and in that time she had not caught so much as a single glimpse of any crane; besides, they had traveled many miles over the last six days, and there was no way the injured bird could have flown this far in his condition. The young woman was very appreciative of Lord Sesshomaru's confidence that Red had survived just fine, and she repeated his assurances over and over whenever her mind began to panic about the bird's fate.

Determined to believe the best, Rin now turned her attention to their surroundings. Spring was evident everywhere, from the greening grass to the fluttering insects, to the tiny calls of newborn chicks, and budding leaves on their boughs. Rin's favorite part, however, was the blossoming of the cherry trees; they seemed to be practically everywhere in this region. Sometimes she'd find herself walking through a grove populated entirely by the beautiful pink blooms and nothing else, and no matter how many she saw in a day, the majestic trees never failed to amaze and captivate her. When a wind would gently stir the branches and send clouds of pink petals floating in their mesmerizing patterns, Rin could scarcely breathe from the sheer magic of it all; every day spent with Lord Sesshomaru was beautiful, but the ones such as these she especially cherished, committing every detail to memory and praying that somehow, some way, she could always stay by his side.

She had been very pleased this morning during her sword training when Lord Sesshomaru made it a point to reference her increased skills displayed in their skirmish the previous week.

"I may even have to think of some more advanced techniques to teach you," he had informed her, something akin to a smile crossing his face.

Rin lived for moments such as that one. She loved Lord Sesshomaru even when he was distant and reserved, but her heart just sang whenever he allowed a little warmth to briefly show through. Simply reflecting on the memory gave her a smile and a contented happiness all throughout her soul, and she skipped over the grass with a delighted laugh. She thought perhaps she saw Lord Sesshomaru glance at her when she made the sound, and she liked to think that her obvious joy in so many things maybe- just maybe -brought him some small measure of happiness as well. Rin glanced up at the sun's position: some days she tried more to space out her conversations with the great demon and not bother him too much, but judging by the light it had easily been an hour since she last said anything, so she trotted a few paces forward to hang just behind him.

"I know you've said you don't really distinguish beauty from the common, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin began, catching a petal as it drifted by, "but isn't this just the loveliest sight?" She gestured to the surrounding sea of flowers. "Isn't this amazing?"

Lord Sesshomaru observed the waving branches overhead, showing no expression one way or the other. The wind stirred his silver hair out to mingle with the passing blossoms, and Rin fought for her admiration to not be too obvious.

"You do truly love nature, don't you, Rin?"

It was not the answer she had been expecting. She had hoped maybe she could coax one of those rare insightful moments from Lord Sesshomaru, but it seemed those usually came when she wasn't trying, when she least suspected them.

 _Oh well, it was worth the try._

"Yes, I do. There's so much variety in the world, so many subtle hues of difference in the colors; I can't help but be in awe of the endless wonders."

"There is a forest I will have to show you some day. I can promise you have never seen anything like it."

Rin felt her curiosity rise. "Really? Can you give me a hint?"

There it was again! That ghost of an almost-smile passing over his lips for one fleeting moment. He had been doing that more and more of late, it seemed; what could possibly have changed inside to make him ever-so-slightly more willing to show his feelings…or did he even realize he was doing it? Rin knew better than to ask, but she was now most intrigued by the idea that perhaps Lord Sesshomaru wasn't as in control as he thought he was.

"You seem to take great enjoyment from being surprised," the demon answered. "I will not reveal anything more on the subject; you'll see it someday."

"Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru. I look forward to it."

The notion of this mystery forest occupied Rin's mind for a good long while. She probably wouldn't have come out of her thoughts for the rest of the day if her nose hadn't suddenly caught the scent of something truly tantalizing; she took in a few puffs of air to be sure, and in another second she was positive she recognized the smell. Should she request a halt? She did her best not to abuse the privilege, but she was sure she smelled fresh dumplings, and she hadn't had one of those in quite a while. There was some dawdling as she debated, but finally the young woman hurried forward again.

"Um, Lord Sesshomaru? Are…are you going to be headed this way for a while yet?"

The demon lord turned to regard her. "You wish to detour to the village beyond the trees."

Rin gave a guilty grin. "Yes, my lord. But you wouldn't have to stop for me! If you won't be altering your course, I can make a quick run to the village and come back to find you in no time at all."

"Your senses are remarkably sharp for a human, but I am not entirely sure you could find your way back to me." Lord Sesshomaru directed his attention to his vassal. "Jaken, until Rin returns, you are to singe a small patch of grass every twenty paces; she must have a trail."

Rin made an excited bow. "Thank you, my lord! I'll return as fast as I can!"

She grabbed her little pouch of money from her backpack and tied it to her obi. Then with a wave she was off, racing away toward the edge of the trees to find the source of the wonderful aroma tickling her nose.

* * *

The village proved to be quite a large one, bigger than any one Rin had ever be to before. She was a little overwhelmed at first by the size and sheer volume of people, and she rather wished this were one of the times when Lord Sesshomaru had come with her.

 _Don't be silly,_ she told herself. _You fended for yourself as a small child in a village full of people who hardly cared about you at all; you can certainly handle walking down a couple of streets to make a simple purchase._

Rin straightened up and marched along the dirt road, eyes roving to and fro to locate whoever was selling those delicious dumplings. She passed all sorts of people, and smiled at any who paused long enough in their mundane routines to look at her; some smiled back, some seemed indifferent, and one or two even looked slightly suspicious. Up ahead a toddler was being carried by her mother, the child staring over the tired woman's shoulder while waving a rag doll furiously. The little girl lost her grip on the toy and dropped it into the dirt; she promptly began to scream and cry, but her mother only gave her a little shake and commanded her to stop. Seeing that the woman wasn't going to turn around, Rin darted forward, scooped up the doll, and hurried forward to catch up.

"Excuse me, ma'am; your daughter dropped this."

The child gasped excitedly and eagerly received her toy. The mother muttered some sort of thanks before pressing on: she, too, seemed weighed down and a little leery of talking with a complete stranger. Rin understood that people were cautious these days with all the various wars going on, but it still struck her as sad that they couldn't put their doubts aside for two seconds to acknowledge someone who clearly meant them no harm. The unfriendliness was particularly noticeable in these larger villages, which made sense- the bigger the place, the more room for unsavory characters. Rin sadly shook her head and turned down a side street.

Before long she'd found the vendor selling the dumplings, of which she promptly bought three. She managed to keep a small stash of coins with her on her journeys, even though she didn't have a livelihood; Kagome and the others had presented her with a little collection just before she'd left, and from time to time she'd find a stray piece of money on the ground as she traveled. She rarely had to use it, but it was handy to have around in just in case.

"Excuse me, miss."

Rin turned around to see a young man a few years older than herself standing nearby. He was tall, with long hair pulled back behind his shoulders and a pleasant, easy smile on his face; he made a polite bow as the smile increased a bit more.

"Forgive me for disturbing you, but I could not help noticing you are here all alone, and that you've clearly come a great distance."

Rin glanced down at her feet. Now that the weather was warmer again she had resumed her habit of not wearing any shoes, so the dust and flecks of grass plainly showed against her fair skin. The hem of her kimono was also a little on the dirty side, since she hadn't washed this one for a couple of days.

"My name is Kenichi. Are you staying here in town?"

"I'm just passing through. I smelled these dumplings and simply had to get some."

Kenichi nodded knowingly. "They are fine creations, to be sure. If you're moving on from here I certainly hope you have some companions; this is the last village for a good many miles, and bandits are known to roam the area."

"Oh, so that's why everyone seems so on edge," Rin mused. "My lord has gone on ahead of me, which is why I have to get going, actually; I don't want to lose him."

The young man's grin somehow became wider. "I have no desire to keep you waiting. Would you care if I escorted you to the village's edge? We've had some rough characters in town lately, and I would hate for any of them to bother you."

Rin returned his smile. "That would be most kind of you. I'm Rin, by the way."

"A pleasure to meet you," Kenichi answered, leading the way to another street. "I was not aware that masters typically let their servants run off by themselves during travels; yours must be particularly trusting."

"He is. But Lord Sesshomaru isn't my master, not really. I've pledged to follow him for the rest of my life, but it's not like he owns me or anything."

Kenichi raised his eyebrows slightly. "Hmm, interesting. So, is he a religious man, then?"

Rin wrestled with how to answer. Generally, when she'd had this conversation in the past, she'd discovered it didn't help her any when she revealed Lord Sesshomaru was a demon; usually people regarded her as a lunatic, and she wasn't in the mood to try and debate the subject.

"He's…he's a warrior, not sworn to any daimyo or shogun; he answers to no one. He roams the countryside, seeking combat against other…samurai, to test his strength. It a very, um, particular school of thought he belongs to. I just come along for company."

"Oh-ho," the young man answered, a knowing gleam entering his eyes. "You're his _companion_ , then; very interesting."

Rin couldn't see why that was interesting at all. She wanted to get the focus off herself.

"Enough about me. What do you do for a living?"

Kenichi shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just a humble farmer. I still help my father in his fields; he's very old and weak, and as I'm not married yet I don't have a responsibility to a family of my own, and I can't bear to see him toiling in the hot sun by himself. My mother died years ago, and I was their only child."

"How tragic!" Rin exclaimed, feeling pity for this sweet young man. "My…my entire family was murdered by bandits when I was a young child, so I've been an orphan almost all my life. That's why I follow Lord Sesshomaru- I don't have anyone else."

Kenichi nodded with sympathy. "I'm sorry for your loss. It must be difficult, being all alone like that."

"It was."

Rin let Kenichi talk as they walked along, trying to be a listening ear for him. He'd obviously gone through a great deal of pain and suffering in his life, but he seemed determined not to let it overcome him; it was a noble struggle he faced, and Rin did what she could to let him know she pitied his situation. As they came closer to the end of the village, she began to crane her neck to peek between the buildings, trying to catch a glimpse of the cherry tree grove. Her sense of direction must have been turned around: the trees should have been visible just off to her right. From a narrow street ahead, three men who looked a little on the drunk side stumbled out; they were all fairly large and well-muscled, obviously used to a hard day's labor. Their faces had cruel sneers, and Rin got the distinct impression they were watching her.

"Are we headed towards the cherry grove?" she asked in what she hoped wasn't a nervous voice.

Kenichi glanced ahead and appeared to read her mind. "Yes, but I know a shortcut. Turn down this street."

Rin obeyed as the young man fell into step behind her. Those other men very much reminded her of bandits, and she prayed they weren't following. She turned down a corner and was met with an animal stall blocking her way.

"Oh Kenichi, I think we went the wrong way; this is a dead end-"

A hand clamped over her mouth, and a vise-like arm pinned her hands to her sides. She felt herself being dragged to one side, heard a door rattle, and suddenly she was hurled into a dark room; her hands made contact with a dirt floor, but she sensed nothing else nearby. There was a mass of shuffling footsteps behind her, then the door being slammed shut. Rin hauled herself off the floor and backed as far away as she could- which, unfortunately, was only a few feet. The bare room was dimly lit by one small window, and though she couldn't make out the hard edges of everyone, she could see enough to tell that the three bandits had followed inside.

"Kenichi, what's going on?" she asked tensely, drawing her katana.

The young man didn't seem to hear her. "Found us a _companion_ , boys. I figure she'll know some good moves."

"Judging by the sword, I'd say she isn't too willing," one man scoffed.

"Makes it all the more fun!"

Someone made a grab at her, and Rin blindly swung her weapon. There was a curse, and from a different direction came a fist that pounded her hard on the cheekbone.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted, hearing how young and frightened she sounded. "I'll cut you to pieces!"

"I love it when they're fiery."

She heard them all move at once, and she angled her katana straight out in the hopes someone would skewer themselves. Somehow, no one was caught, and eight different hands grabbed her to wrestle the weapon away; she struggled and screamed, but before long she heard the sword clatter to the ground. She fought as hard as she could as they tried to force her downwards, but it was no use: they were all bigger and far stronger than she was, and a minute later Rin found herself lying on her back, large hands holding her in places she would have never let them touch if she had any say in the matter. Kenichi was crouched closest, all pretense of being an innocent and helpful farm boy gone.

"Get her closer to the light; it's not much of a show if you can't see anything," he said.

There was coarse laughter as they dragged the young woman across the dirt floor to rest in the pool of light from the window; Rin felt a pebble gouge the back of her neck. She screamed again and again, desperately hoping someone would pass close enough outside to hear her and come running.

"None of that now."

Kenichi roughly undid her obi and used it to gag her. There was a moment of silence as Rin took in the situation; one bandit sat somewhere behind her head holding her outstretched arms in place, while the other two each had a leg. Kenichi straddled Rin's hips and settled onto her, a truly wicked grin on his face. Now that she was powerless, he could afford to move a little slower, trying to build up the terror inside her even more. He traced her neck, the front edge of her kimono, her waist. Rin could do nothing but stare at him in complete and utter horror, the reality of what was happening pressing into her chest like a dead weight; she didn't even think about whether they would kill her when they were done or not: all her mind could focus on was the humiliation and cruelty she was about to undergo. A tear slipped out and trickled into her ear.

"Don't worry, boys," Kenichi stated, removing his outer robe. "There'll be plenty to go 'round."

He lowered himself down and began to kiss Rin's neck and face. She wriggled and whimpered, knowing it was futile but unable to simply give in; she could feel her kimono dangerously close to slipping open, and the thought was so embarrassing she struggled harder to somehow resist. Kenichi continued his assault on her for a few minutes before drawing back.

"You've never done this before," he realized, evil pleasure written across every part of his countenance. "It's a shame we have to bypass so much of the foreplay, but it's a little harder when you can't move. Plus," he rested his hand on her chest, "everyone has to have a turn."

He flicked her kimono open. Rin's face grew red hot with shame as she heard a few appreciative whistles. Kenichi reached for the front of his robe, and the young woman shut her eyes tight; a second later his body dropped against hers, and Rin let out an uncontrollable gasp as their skin touched. More jeering laughter, more kisses she couldn't escape. He was everywhere, drawing sensations across her body she had never dreamed of feeling; she knew under different circumstances they were supposed to be wildly pleasurable, but all they provided for her was dread and fear. She couldn't let him finish, or go through this again three more times.

Her chance came several agonizingly long minutes later.

"Let go of her legs," Kenichi said raggedly, hardly taking the time to pull his face away. "I can't get a good hold when they're so stiff."

Rin felt the iron grips leave her ankles, and she lost no time. As Kenichi briefly arched his back to get a better position, the young woman wrenched her knees to her chest and planted her feet against her enemy's front. She shoved so hard she felt a muscle scream in protest somewhere in her lower back, but she didn't care; momentarily freed from the suffocating weight on her body and empowered by an adrenaline rush over this victory, Rin yanked her left hand clear of the bandit's hold. She clawed at the face of the other hand-holder, digging her nails deep into his skin. He screamed and let go, and Rin bolted for the door like one possessed: she didn't even try to slide it open, but instead plowed through the flimsy frame and paper. She raced up the street, feet pounding on the ground as she tried to hold her kimono closed; large sobs choked out around the gag, but there was no time to stop and untie it.

Angry shouts sounded behind her, and Rin realized these men weren't done with her yet. They couldn't say a woman had gotten the better of them; they not only had to get their kicks, but now they wanted to teach her a lesson. The torture if they caught her would be unimaginable. The thought spurred Rin on and she dashed through the streets heedlessly, solely focused on outrunning these madmen. She glimpsed budding trees between two huts, but they were not the cherry blossoms from earlier.

 _Who cares? I stand a better chance losing them among the trees than I do out here in broad daylight._

Rin wheeled off in the direction of the trees. The footsteps were still behind her. Her chest was heaving and she wanted nothing more than to drop down and have a good cry, but that was impossible at the moment. She flung herself into the woods and began to zigzag carelessly, praying the woodland spirits would grant her sanctuary; she bounded over fallen trees like a deer and ducked under obstructions, wondering if this was even the same forest she'd left only a short time ago. How long had she been gone? It felt like hours, but the sun was still high; had it been long enough Lord Sesshomaru would start to grow concerned?

 _I've got to get his attention_ , she thought frantically.

Rin cleared another log and took two seconds to rip at the knot behind her head that held the obi in place. Her instincts told her to look back, and she did so just in time to see one of the men lunging in her direction; she leapt out of reach, then kicked him in the jaw before he could get up. She was running again, working to pull the gag away from her mouth now that it was slack. Finally it fell away, and she sobbed with relief to feel the wind on her whole face again.

"LORD SESSHOMARU!"

She screamed his name so loud it made her throat hurt. She called a few more times and then gave all her energy to running, reminding herself that if she _did_ manage to lose these vermin, shouting would help them track her. Rin pushed her legs to move faster, telling herself over and over that Lord Sesshomaru had heard her and he would materialize in front of her at any moment; he'd slay these beasts in the blink of an eye, and then he'd take her in his arms and comfort her, telling her all would be well.

Rin's feet lost their rhythm and she fell hard into the moist soil. She thought she still heard shouts behind her, and she struggled to get up; one of her feet was starting to throb, and she pulled herself along with her elbows. She had to get up! Why was her body beginning to rebel? She crawled forward several more feet, and felt the soil take on an even soggier composition; was there water up ahead? Rin dragged herself now on her hands and knees, still willing her spirit to rise and begin running again, but it did not respond. She pushed through a thorn bush and felt nothing on the other side. A heart-stopping moment later she pitched forward down the steep muddy bank of a flowing stream; she would have screamed if she weren't fleeing for her life.

She splashed into the water below and found it was deep enough to close over her head. Rin spluttered and broke through the surface, forcing herself to stand in the waist-deep water; her left foot protested, and she let it float to ease the pain. The young woman quickly assessed where she was. The stream stretched on out of sight around a bend, while the banks were tall and slick, offering no easy handholds. She heard a rough male voice somewhere up above, and she knew her hunters were close. Rin felt the tears pouring down her face again: how could she escape them? Why didn't they just give up? The current swirled gently around her ankles, almost as if it cared, momentarily turning warmer in an attempt to comfort. The notion brought a crazy thought to Rin's head, and in desperation she knelt down to put both hands out in the water.

 _Eri! It's Rin. Please help me. Get me out of here! I'm hurt and I can't go on; I think these men will kill me when they're done with me. Eri, help me._

She thought of the water nymph over and over, remembering her fluid features and tinkling voice. A shout sounded, and two figures appeared at the top of the right bank. Rin's heart jumped into her mouth, and she mentally screamed to the water.

 _Save me!_

Something gripped her forefinger, and suddenly Rin was flying through the water faster than any boat could ever move. She fought to keep her head above the speeding current, hardly able to even focus on the surrounding trees as she zipped through; all she smelled was earth and water, and all she saw was a brown-green blur above and beside her. Finally her speed slowed, until she at last coasted to a halt. After taking a few shaky breaths Rin looked around, only to realize with shock that she couldn't be anywhere near the village: she was in the middle of a huge open plain, surrounded by yellow grass and nothing else. Not a tree, mountain, or single home dotted the landscape. She sank to her knees and looked down at the water. A section rippled and writhed, and then rose to form a miniature face with dripping liquid hair.

"You poor dear," Eri whispered, rising to chest level and regarding the broken human before her. "How much damage was done?" she asked tenderly.

Rin sniffled and drew her kimono tightly around her, the bedraggled obi dangling from her neck forgotten. "I can't…I can't…."

Eri made a shushing sound and placed a comforting hand on the young woman's cheek. "It isn't something you can rush; you'll be able to talk about it when you're ready."

She had a sad but knowing look in her blue eyes. It never got any easier, but she had seen this exact same scenario countless times before when ravaged maidens had sough sanctuary with her; she knew what had happened.

"What do you want to do now?" the water nymph asked.

"I-I want Lord Sesshomaru," Rin choked. "Where did you take me?"

"I sensed the urgency of your desire to get away; I simply took you far enough away where no one would know you or anyone you'd ever been with. Was it not your master who did this to you?"

Rin couldn't muster the strength to show her horror at such a thought. "No, never. Never in a million years. I don't know who they were." She dug her palms into her eyes to force the tears back in. "I left Lord Sesshomaru in a cherry grove just outside the village."

Eri nodded. "I know the place." She looked at Rin in a slightly disbelieving way. "You still want to go back? The world of humans will still be there."

"Lord Sesshomaru will protect me."

The water nymph clearly didn't think he was succeeding at his job, but she could see the young woman was bound and determined.

"If that is your wish, I cannot stop you. Hold on tight."


	13. Chapter 12-A Step in the Right Direction

**Chapter 12- A Step in the Right Direction**

"Where could that child be?" Jaken whined. "I've been burning grass for nearly an hour now and she _still_ hasn't caught up with us!"

Sesshomaru looked back, his eyes scanning the shifting patches of sunlight on the green grass behind them. It was true Rin had been gone a while, but not a ridiculous amount of time. Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to keep moving while she went to the village; he knew she hated the thought of inconveniencing him, so for once he hadn't insisted on waiting for her to return, thinking it would give her a sense of accomplishment to know she hadn't "held him up." The demon lord paused and listened to the wind, searching for anything he should know. All seemed normal….

Wait, what was that? He thought for a moment he'd heard a shout.

 _That could be anyone. Any time I draw near to a human settlement, I can't escape hearing all their cries and coarse speech._

Still, he now found himself growing uneasy. Should he wait for Rin, or did he need to seek her out? Sesshomaru stood rooted to his place for a length of time, weighing his options and trying to determine the one to choose. A most unpleasant smell began to waft towards his nostrils, and a deep scowl appeared; it was the stench of filthy humans, dirt and sweat and their individual bodies' unique scents. It must be an entire gang of them, headed this way…. Sesshomaru's pupils dilated, and his senses went into overdrive. Rin's far more pleasant scent lay underneath, fainter than usual, and there was blood- her blood. The demon wrenched Bakusaiga out and dashed forward only a few paces, and then she came into sight.

Sesshomaru's heart stopped. Rin was limping in his direction but had not seen him yet. She wearily stumbled along as she clutched her kimono close, her hair matted and tangled; she was battered and bruised, bleeding from cuts on almost every exposed piece of skin. The demon lord could hardly breathe, his mind reeling as it tried to comprehend what on earth had happened. The young woman squinted ahead, and a tremor passed through her whole body as she set eyes on him.

"Lord…."

She collapsed. Sesshomaru sped forward and caught her, guiding her to the ground until they were both kneeling. He didn't even know where to begin. She looked like she'd been through a war, and- an arrow pierced his soul.

 _Her eyes._

The sparkle was completely gone. Rin blearily stared at him with a soulless gaze, her grimy face drawn and haggard. She was a broken shell, and in that moment the demon wondered if she could ever recover her former self.

"Rin," he whispered, hesitantly putting a hand to her face, afraid she might crumble before his very eyes.

Her face was stained with countless tears, though none were falling now. An injured whimper escaped her, and Sesshomaru felt his mind snapping back into place: he needed to know, _NOW_.

"What happened?"

He couldn't keep the urgency out of his voice. He felt his hands that still gripped her arms trembling, and he couldn't make them stop.

"There were…men, and they…attacked…."

Sesshomaru felt rage begin to boil deep inside, growing by the second, and he knew he wouldn't be able to control it much longer.

"Where is your sash?"

Rin's head dropped. "They used it as a-a gag. They held my…my arms and legs, and the last one…" her hands went to her face. "He was-s-s on m-m-me like an an-animal-l-l!"

She dissolved into sobs. A blinding, searing anger more intense than any he'd ever felt before in all his hundreds of years burst inside Sesshomaru as the reality of what had transpired fully came to light in his mind. Those loathsome, heartless, purely evil _monsters_ had done this to her, and he had not been there to stop them; he wasn't sure if he was more angry at the humans or himself. The seething fury in his veins burned like fire, and he knew his eyes had turned red- he was instinctively trying to return to his battle form without even thinking about it.

 _No. They need to suffer, and it will be too easy to end them in my true form._

Sesshomaru retrieved Bakusaiga from where it lay abandoned on the ground beside him. He hadn't even realized he'd dropped it.

"Jaken. Tend to Rin," he commanded in a brittle voice tinged with nothing but pure malice. "If I find you have neglected her…."

The green imp wordlessly shook his head. He had served his master long enough to recognize when he was capable of killing literally anyone who displeased him. Sesshomaru cast one last look at the bowed girl at his feet; he knew she needed him more than ever right now, but his anger could not be contained a moment longer. He rested his hand gently on her head, and then flung himself into the sky, searching for the scent of the wretched humans that had wrapped itself around his ward. He did not have to search long: the breeze carried the unmistakable reek straight to him, as if the very air sensed his explosive emotions and wanted to help his cause. Sesshomaru reached the apex of his flight, and then rocketed straight down back towards the earth, his sword whistling in the wind and crackling with green energy. The demon slammed into the ground so forcefully he made a crater fifty feet wide, flattening the undergrowth in his powerful wake and hurling the four nearby humans to their backs.

The bandits bewilderedly stumbled to their feet, warily eyeing the tall, furious being that had just blasted into their midst. Sesshomaru could smell traces of Rin on each of them, and his stomach turned at the thought of them laying so much as a hand on her, let alone to have attempted what they had. He could have slain them all in one fell sweep, but that would be too easy- they needed to feel pain, to suffer as Rin had suffered…and then he would kill them.

"You will never see the light of day again," Sesshomaru snarled, holding his sword aloft to give the criminals a few seconds to take in the weapon of their undoing.

"We'll see about that," one of the men threw back, but he didn't look too sure.

It was a slaughter from the start. The demon lord moved faster than the eye could track and appeared before the first man; the human could not so much as draw his sword before he had been impaled on a clawed arm. He fell to the ground, shrieking and clutching at the gaping hole in his midsection until he bled out, which took an excruciatingly long time. Sesshomaru next stabbed Bakusaiga into a man's heart, letting the fool feel all his organs and limbs be eaten away until there was nothing left of him. It was a pity the demon couldn't control the rate at which the disintegration happened, but it was not an option.

The third man, seeing what had happened to the first two, laughably thought he could run away. He made it all of three steps when the glaring demon caught him by the back of his collar. The lowlife screamed, right before a fist smashed his head in. Sesshomaru turned to evaluate the only one left standing: this one was a bit younger than the others, but just as cruel-looking, and…yes, he had Rin's scent the strongest of any of them This was the one who had done the most damage.

"Who are you?" the human called, holding his sword at the ready.

Sesshomaru materialized in front of him and grabbed the mongrel by the throat, hoisting him off the ground and slowly squeezing. The human obligingly choked, coughed, and made all the other typical sweet sounds of someone dying from strangulation.

"I am Rin's avenger."

The demon threw his prey to the ground roughly, noting the sound of some bones breaking in the chest region. He flicked his whip of light and cut several patterns into the human's face. The man grunted, then howled as the whip wrapped around his arms, singeing his flesh before tearing it away as the whip was retracted. Sesshomaru came at him with a series of swings, letting them all come dangerously close within striking range; this man had seen what happened to the others, and he knew this sword would kill with one touch. He needed to sweat, to feel fear for his very life. The demon lord thrust, parried, then struck with his claws across the man's chest, deep enough to seriously hurt but not to kill. He attacked again and again, the anger coursing through his whole being like a raging flood. This wretched dog had scarred Rin to the core, perhaps for life, and Sesshomaru would not let that go unpunished.

He hacked at his victim for an untold length of time, and at last decided to end it. With a mere flick he disarmed his opponent and held Bakusaiga just under the man's throat; the bandit watched the tongues of energy lick across the blade's surface, his eyes wide with terror as tears cut down his face.

"Now you know how it feels," Sesshomaru hissed, his stare boring into the other's eyes. "You know what it's like to be helpless, totally overpowered by someone stronger than you, and to know that they hold your fate in their hands." He decided he couldn't quite let this one go yet, and he put the claws back around the throat. "You hurt someone who is irreplaceable to me, and while your blood can't undo what's been done, it will satisfy me to a certain extent."

"I didn't…finish," the pitiful man choked out. "It was- ulck -half…."

Sesshomaru squeezed harder, his nails drawing blood. "It was enough."

He roughly withdrew his grasp, swung Bakusaiga back, then brought it crashing forward to hack off the man's feet. The prey screamed in unadulterated agony as the energy ate up his legs, climbing to his torso and chest, consuming his arms, until at last it closed over his head, and he was gone. Sesshomaru flicked the blood off his claws, glaring at the spot where the perpetrator had been only seconds before. Emotion still rushed through him like an unchallenged tidal wave, but it was weaker now, and beginning to slowly dissipate. He gave a long, low growl, and then slowly began to walk away from the site of his carnage; he needed to blow off some steam if he wanted to be calm before Rin.

* * *

The sun was setting by the time Sesshomaru returned. Rin, now washed and changed, sat hunched with her back against A-Un's scaly side, dabbing at the larger cuts and scratches on her arms and legs; Jaken stood on the dragon's back, trying to brush out the knotted mess in the young woman's hair. The demon lord caught an odd whiff of something burning in the campfire, and as he passed he could just glimpse the last scraps of Rin's kimono fading away into the flames. Sesshomaru knelt in front of Rin, silently desperate to comfort her but at a total loss as to how; he had never wanted to understand humans more than he did at this moment. What words could heal her? Did a particular action or gesture even exist that could express how much he wanted to help her? It was incredibly rare for him to feel powerless, and he hated it- he especially hated that more times than not, the feeling was usually in regards to Rin.

"You've done nothing for these," he said at last, brushing one of several cuts that littered her face.

"I couldn't see them," the young woman replied in a low voice, not looking up.

"I was going to do those next, milord!" Jaken squeaked.

Sesshomaru reached down into the medical kit from Kagome's world and withdrew the tube he remembered Rin using on his wounds from the wolf tribe. He squirted some of the gel onto his finger and began to dab it over the facial cuts; he noticed the young woman wince once or twice from the apparent pain the medicine caused her, but she said nothing. The demon lord rubbed the substance into her skin, yet again mentally cursing the fiends who had done this. He shouldn't have killed them- he should have imprisoned them in a dungeon somewhere with ferocious animals, or let them starve to death… _anything_ to make them pay.

"I think you got it all in."

Sesshomaru looked at Rin blankly for a second before realizing he was still trying to massage the now-nonexistent cream into her face. He meekly let go, and a moment later touched the bruise on her cheekbone.

"Do you have anything to treat that kind?"

Rin shook her head. Jaken grunted slightly as he tried once again to pull the brush through a particularly difficult set of knots. Sesshomaru finally reached over and plucked it from the imp's hands.

"Go and find Rin's sword," he instructed, shifting his seat so he was right beside Rin.

He had noticed the weapon was missing earlier, but in his heated anger he had forgotten to locate it after he had disposed of the criminals. Jaken bowed and scampered away without a single complaint. Sesshomaru ran the brush through Rin's hair as gently as he could, struggling to separate the tangled strands; his focus was so great it never occurred to him that he was essentially serving someone else, treating this human like she was an equal or possibly more.

"Have you eaten?"

Rin shook her head.

"What would you like?"

Again, she shook her head. Finished with her bandaging, Rin hugged her knees and stared dully at the fire, her features devoid of any emotion. There was a long silence while the demon lord worked the brush, his fingers also employed to help in the task of restoring the silky hairs to their usual smooth luster.

"Rin…" he began sadly, but he didn't know what to say from there.

 _I failed her. I swore to protect and care for her, and here she is- bruised and broken, without a hint of a smile or her undying optimism._ _I_ _did this to her._

He came to a less damaged section, and Sesshomaru set his free hand on Rin's shoulder for the time being: she didn't so much as turn her head in response.

"I do not have the gift of words that so many others possess," he informed her quietly, still brushing. "They were not very necessary before I met you. Rin, if I knew what to say in this time, I swear I would do so without hesitation. But…I fear I have none to offer, other than I am so sorry…that once again, I failed you."

The young woman continued to watch the flames. "Don't blame yourself, Lord Sesshomaru," she answered at last, her voice hardly above a hoarse whisper. "I was the one who failed; I couldn't defeat them."

"Don't be ridiculous," the demon responded in a sterner tone than he intended. "You were outmatched entirely: that is not failure on your part, but purely statistical fact." He brought his hand back up to gently grasp a stubborn section of hair. "It's not your fault, Rin, and I don't ever want to hear you say that again."

They sat together for a long time with nothing more said. At last, Sesshomaru vanquished the rest of the knots, but he ran his fingers through several times to be absolutely sure. He handed the brush over to Rin; she accepted it and stared back at him, her mouth working to give him a polite smile, but it wouldn't come.

"Thank you."

The young woman looked like she was going to curl up right there to sleep without getting so much as a blanket first, but Sesshomaru wasn't about to let that happen; he knew she was dazed and not thinking clearly, but that was no excuse for her to make herself more miserable.

"Wait."

He drew his mokomoko from his shoulder and laid it on the ground.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I couldn't…."

"You're sleeping here and that's final."

Rin reluctantly stretched herself out on the fluffy fur. Sesshomaru folded back the other half over her for it to act as a blanket, so all that could be seen of the young woman was her head in the midst of the puffy cloud. A look passed between them, and he knew she was grateful and honored, even if she couldn't say it; the demon nodded and sat down at her feet, his back to A-Un. He rested Bakusaiga in its sheath across his knees, staring out into the dark woods as a pale and silent sentinel. He knew Rin was watching him, but he pretended not to notice; when at last he did turn to look at her, her eyes were closed, though whether she actually slept was unknown.

* * *

Though he knew it was highly unlikely, Sesshomaru had hoped that Rin's trauma would simply fade away with time, but over the next few weeks it became apparent this was not to be. The days passed in the exact same manner with no variation whatsoever: Rin rode A-Un in complete silence, staring ahead without seeing, without so much as a single comment about a bird or a fiery sunset; the only time she moved was to either get some food or lie down to sleep. Even Jaken seemed concerned about her- from time to time the imp would look back from his place in line to glance at the human, worry etched in lines across his green face. It felt downright unnatural to have such total quiet, and the silent atmosphere did nothing to help in assuaging Sesshomaru's guilt.

The demon lord racked his mind for what he could to do to heal Rin's heart. She showed no sign of improving on her own…but what could he possibly do? There was always the option of seeking out someone talented in the field of erasing memories, but Sesshomaru was hesitant to follow such a drastic course. What if other good memories were accidentally wiped in the process as well? Often when humans were unwell, it seemed a tradition to bring them gifts of various sorts to encourage their spirits, but what would Rin even want? She was too old for toys, and presenting her with a replacement kimono this soon might make her dwell on why she was getting a new one in the first place….

 _Think, Sesshomaru, think! You can't just leave her like this. You promised to take care of her, and that doesn't apply to solely defending her from danger (which, in case you forgot, you failed at); it also means helping when she's clearly hurting. There must be SOMETHING you've missed!_

He turned his head to observe her again. In the past, when she'd been truly upset about something, what had she done to alleviate her sorrows? Sesshomaru forced his mind to block out his surroundings, intentionally travelling back over his and Rin's shared past. When she was sad about not living to see his empire realized, she'd asked to sit near him; when she was distraught from recalling her family's deaths, she had leaned against him. One time when she was a child and they had travelled through a foreboding den of viperous monsters, Rin had come close and fearfully clutched his empty left kimono sleeve.

 _It's closeness,_ Sesshomaru understood finally. _Rin deals with her fear and grief by drawing near to those she trusts. Only, right now,_ he glanced back, _she's so stricken, she can't bring herself to ask me for anything…because she knows I can't comfort her in the way she really needs it._

Still, he had to at least explore this avenue of possibility. The demon lord had no desire for Jaken to inevitably make a nuisance of himself, so the imp was summoned forward.

"Jaken, I want you to take Rin's sword to Totosai," he instructed. "Tell him to change it into a more formidable weapon, one that could be used against multiple enemies at once. Do not come back until it is finished."

"Yes, milord; right away! Um, mightn't I borrow A-Un to make the journey quicker?"

Sesshomaru glared, and Jaken yelped; the little demon hurried into the underbrush, lugging the katana behind him. Now that that was taken care of, Sesshomaru caught the dragon's reins and halted the creature.

"Wouldn't you like to walk for a little bit?" he asked, holding out his hand. "You must be sore from sitting so long."

Rin seemed to take a minute to comprehend what he was saying, but at last she accepted his help in climbing down. The demon lord let her set the pace, walking just beside her; he knew Rin was a smart girl, and he hoped she saw through the fog to the fact he wasn't assuming his usual place of a step or two ahead of her. Over the next mile or so he kept a covert observation of the young woman, noting that she seemed to become slightly more alert as they went on; her head even turned a little to watch a passing squirrel.

 _All right, so far, so good. Now what do I do?_

Sesshomaru made a mental run-through of all the typical human gestures of comfort- some of them the very ones he had criticized and written off only a few short weeks ago. What if he put his arm around her like he did in Hiroshi's village? That had been out of protection, not comfort, but as he understood it the movement could apply to many things.

 _But the motion seemed to frighten her,_ he recalled, thinking of how she'd jumped. _Maybe she doesn't find that soothing._

"I can smell a village not too far off; would you want any of those human delicacies?"

Rin slowly shook her head. "No, thank you."

Should he not even bother asking her anything? She clearly had no desire to talk…or was it maybe that she wanted to, but she just couldn't do it on her own?

"Jaken is taking your sword to have it modified. I'm assuming you still want to train, in the future."

The young woman nodded, but it was in an automatic way, with no real feeling behind it. Sesshomaru knew what she was thinking, and despite his misgivings he very carefully put his arm behind her.

"Don't do that to yourself."

"What?" Rin asked.

"Don't say it was your fault. You can't think that."

"Who else is there to blame?"

Sesshomaru kept his hold but turned to face her, bringing them much closer than normal. He placed his other hand on her arm and gave her a piercing stare.

"Blame me, Rin. No matter what I do to plan and prevent disaster…it always manages to find you still. I keep thinking the latest trial will be the last one, that I've learned all I need to know about keeping you safe," he let out the slightest sigh. "But it seems the world will always find a way to thwart me."

Rin's eyes remained devoid of their usual life, but they did at least show some concern now. Her eyebrows knit together in a worried expression, and she leaned forward a little as if to better show her distress at this declaration.

"Lord Sesshomaru…you'll never be able to protect me from everything," she solemnly informed him. "I know you want to, but it's just not possible." She seemed to measure her words carefully. "You could declare I must never leave your sight, which probably _would_ protect me, but you won't because you know it would almost be a form of imprisonment. I'd be stifled, smothered, which is in a sense another form of harm."

Rin now held the demon's arm as well, peering up at him with a shadow of her old warmth. It wouldn't last, but in this moment she had forgotten her own sorrow, all her focus centered on her assurances to the one before her.

"I _can't_ blame you, Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered in a voice that was still very fragile. "If I did, it would be imposing an impossibly high standard on you that isn't fair. I know you will always do everything in your power to take care of me…and I'm content with that."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "I cannot accept it. I will not rest until I find a way to _always_ keep you safe."

Rin looked back at him with disbelief. "You ask me not to blame myself, and yet you insist on endlessly torturing your own self." She drew closer, and the warmth increased just in the slightest. "You can't control the way of the world- no one can. All we can do is prepare and respond to the very best of our ability, and pray that it's enough."

The silver-haired demon returned her gaze for a time, cherishing the idea that she had returned to him, though he knew her fight was in reality far from over. This conversation proved the old Rin was still around, wounded, but trying to find her way back; what comfort could he arm her with before she retreated back into herself? Mercifully, the answer came to him before it was too late.

"So, you say that I should not blame myself, because never letting any harm come to you is an impossible standard?"

Rid nodded.

"Then by that same reasoning, you cannot blame yourself, because it is impossible to expect someone of your stature and training to amply defend herself against four men far beyond her experience level."

The young woman was taken aback, having apparently not considered the matter in such a light. Sesshomaru did his best to smile at her, trying to be encouraging.

"Perhaps what we should take away from this…is that neither of us should blame ourselves."

It looked like maybe there was a trace of mist passing over Rin's eyes, but she maintained control. She inclined her head respectfully, watching the mere centimeters of grass that stood between their toe-tips.

"Perhaps we should," she agreed quietly.

Sesshomaru cast his eyes to the sky. Tongues of pink and orange were just beginning to brush across a blue canvas that was rapidly yellowing above the horizon. He and Rin currently stood in a valley bordered on all sides by mountains- she would miss the sunset entirely from down here. He let go of the young woman's arm and turned back on his heel to place himself again at her side; the arm behind her dropped further so the demon could brace his hand on her other side, drawing her under his shoulder.

"Hold on," he told her.

Rin had barely placed her very tentative hold on the back of his kimono before Sesshomaru began to rise straight up, the ground growing further away with every second. The young woman gasped and gripped him tighter, and her other hand shot to his chest to find a hold on his armor; she had ridden A-Un through the skies plenty in the past, but she had never flown personally with Sesshomaru. It was probably a little disconcerting for someone who'd always sat safely on a saddle to now be floating through the air upright. They ascended high enough A-Un could no longer be seen, and still they rose. Then came the dazzling moment when the sun's rays broke into full view as their feet cleared the mountain peaks, and Rin gasped again; the scene did not resonate with any emotions for Sesshomaru, but he attempted to look at from the perspective of his companion.

There were no more mountains beyond this ridge, but instead an endless flat board scattered with grassy meadows, flowering trees as well as green ones, and a shining river that wound all throughout. The sun was a radiant orange disc overseeing it all, its brilliant rays bathing every surface with living light; even as the two observers hovered there, subtle changes occurred across the sky as the light played out its evening symphony. The hues melted, blended, and casually spread themselves in fantastic displays, growing even stronger as the sun touched the horizon and began to slowly sink from sight. The colors rallied to a rousing finish, attaining their most intense glow, arms outstretched across the sky in triumph.

And just like that, the colors began to recede behind the cover of the earth. They dimmed and grew thin, fading away like the last smoke from a dying candle, until at last only a faint hazy glow remained over the horizon's center; that too drifted down below the surface, and a dark blue settled over the land as the first stars began to emerge. Sesshomaru was still unmoved, but a glance down at Rin told him she had been utterly captivated by the sight; she clung to him breathlessly, her head titled back against his supporting arm, and her eyes were wide with amazement. Now that the sun was gone a chill began to settle in the air, and the demon lord descended back towards the earth, unwilling to let his charge grow cold.

"Thank you," Rin breathed out with wonder. "I never…never would have guessed it could be that majestic."

When Rin lay down to sleep that night, Sesshomaru liked to believe she was smiling, just a little bit.


	14. Chapter 13- Calling in Reinforcements

**A/N:** I know it was implied in the original Inuyasha series that Kagome couldn't go back and forth anymore and she was choosing to stay in the Feudal Era forever, but it was never stated outright. For the sake of this story, we're going with the position she can still do it.

* * *

 **Chapter 13- Calling in Reinforcements**

Sure enough, by the next morning Rin was completely withdrawn into herself once again. Her temporary, small rally from the night before had vanished without a trace, and she was back to riding A-Un with a blank expression; Sesshomaru reminded himself of the glimpse he'd caught of her spirit, mentally repeating again and again that she still existed, that she wasn't lost to him yet- the question was, how did he bring her back? For the next few days, he made sure to coax her from the dragon's back at least once daily to have her walk alongside him for a distance; if she declined his offer, the demon lord placed his hand on the saddle in front of Rin and kept pace with A-Un, silently trying to convey that he was there for her.

Thinking about how the young woman had come to life a little more when he'd held her, Sesshomaru tried to make himself reach out and take her hand or grasp her shoulder…but for some reason his arms would not cooperate now. They felt leaden at his sides, and it was an effort just to get a grip on the saddle. What if she didn't want the attention? What if he did the wrong thing? He reasoned that his limbs not responding as he wanted them to was simply a manifestation of his rational mind trying to prevent embarrassment for either of them (the phrase "lost his nerve" didn't even exist in Sesshomaru's personal vocabulary, therefore he never considered the idea as a possible explanation).

When it had almost been an entire month since the start of all this, Sesshomaru knew he would have to push harder to get Rin on the road to recovery. This was clearly not an ailment that could fade with time unaided, and apparently his taking to walking beside the girl each day was not enough. One evening after Rin had finished eating her dinner and was in the process of rolling out her blanket, the demon lord made his move, rather literally- he sat down on the cloth so she was unable to crawl underneath it and hide from him.

"Rin," he said as gently as possible, "I think perhaps you need to talk about what happened."

The young woman's countenance first turned pale at the mere hint of the subject before transforming to a dark shade of crimson, no doubt mortified at the very idea of discussing matters at any level of detail with him. She shook her head and kept her eyes on the ground.

"No thank you, Lord Sesshomaru."

He would not be deterred that quickly.

"We have to do something about this. You haven't improved at all."

The girl sat on the ground in front of him and miserably clasped her hair. "How is one supposed to recover from something like this?" she mumbled.

Sesshomaru scooted forward off the blanket till his knees were just touching hers.

 _Closeness, remember, closeness,_ he commanded, daring his resisting legs to defy his will.

"Obviously, being mute all day and doing nothing is not the way," he said as kindly as he could. "Perhaps…perhaps talking through what happened will get things, get the memories…." He was completely blanking for the words he wanted, and at last put his hands up in exasperation. "What is that phrase humans say when they want the weight of a situation gone?"

"Get it off my chest?" the young woman offered after a moment's consideration.

"Yes, that's it."

Rin rested her elbows on her cross-legged knees and looked at her companion resignedly. "I appreciate your wish to help me, Lord Sesshomaru, really I do."

Her gaze trailed off into the bushes and she seemed to have no intention of returning to the discussion. Sesshomaru reached over and jiggled her hand a little to bring her attention back.

"It isn't weakness to admit you're scared; I think no less of you after everything that happened."

"That's not it." Rin sighed. "I just don't think you can help me."

That almost hurt. She doubted his ability to care for her? In a valiant show of willpower over the unnamed malady when it came to making contact, Sesshomaru swiftly took both Rin's hands in his own and held them close to his heart; she looked back at him with wide, unblinking eyes while her mouth helplessly made a few short unintelligible sounds.

"Do you not trust me?" the demon asked slowly, staring into those brown wells of untold depth.

This question broke his spell somewhat, as Rin relaxed a little and attempted to give him a comforting smile (she almost succeeded).

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru, I'll always trust you," she answered sympathetically. "It's just that a situation like this…you won't know what to say in return."

"So, you now know everything I'll ever say to you?"

"I _can't_ talk about this with you," the young woman insisted earnestly. "I have a million emotions pressing on me from every angle, and I need someone who can understand what those emotions feel like, and give me advice accordingly!"

Sesshomaru let their hands drop to his lap but he still held on, hardly even aware he was doing so. Normally Rin would at least let him try to help her in a situation when she needed it, even if it turned out he couldn't succeed (such as the time he attempted tying her hair back for her when her hands were muddy and he simply made an enormous knot), but he couldn't even recall the last time she had refused to let herself be talked into him trying.

"I have advised you many times over the years, Rin. Surely if you spoke your thoughts aloud I could offer at least some form of counsel…."

Rin huffed with irritation. "I don't _WANT_ to talk to you about it! It's _embarrassing!_ This is girl stuff, okay? You can't possibly understand it, so please just _leave me alone!_ "

She was asking him to leave her alone; _Rin_ didn't want to talk to him. It was stunning. Sesshomaru sat there for a total two minutes simply staring at the young woman, his finely-honed mind utterly lost as to what he should do next. This human worshipped him like no other, trailed after him like a puppy…she had deserted her own kind for him, for heavens' sake!

 _Her pain must be even deeper than I assumed,_ the demon realized. _Only absolute despair could drive her to this point._

If her suffering really was so complete, then she was right when she said he couldn't help her; Sesshomaru prided himself on having evolved the skills necessary to overall properly interact with a human- and a female one at that, which he had heard was exceptionally difficult -but this was something beyond him. He was not sufficient for such a task.

 _Very well. If I cannot help her directly, then I must find help for her from another source; her heart is what's been wounded the most deeply, and that is the hardest of all to heal…_ _heal_ _…."_

The last word rang in his mind with significance. Healing…girl stuff…girl. The answer was so obvious Sesshomaru could almost have laughed at his blindness for overlooking what was right in front of him. He rose, Rin's hands still enclosed with his, and led her to A-Un.

"I thought we were making camp?" the young woman wondered as she let him help her mount the dragon.

"No, we're marching through the night: we have a priestess to find."

* * *

The expression on Inuyasha's face when he opened the door could not seem to settle on one emotion to reflect: first there was shock and surprise, then a sharp descent towards a disgusted scowl- but this was interrupted halfway through by hesitancy to scorn the one who saved Kagome's life, which invited a look of overall confusion to take up residence. It was a full fifteen seconds afterwards before the half-demon finally managed to get out a sentence.

"What are you doing here?"

The question wasn't presented in an overly hostile tone.

"I must speak with Kagome."

Inuyasha glanced back inside the house. "She's kinda busy right now; we're about to leave to visit her family."

Again, he didn't sound nearly as aggressive as he had in the past.

 _He must really be determined to turn over a new leaf towards me. We'll see how long that lasts._

"It is a matter of great urgency," Sesshomaru continued, keeping the irritation out of his tone not for the courtesy of responding in kind, but for the sake of getting Rin the help she needed.

Kagome chose this moment to appear within the doorway, and the demon lord directed his attention towards her.

"Your help is required for a most important task," he informed her before she could so much as greet him.

"What's going on?" Kagome inquired curiously.

"I wish to speak to you alone."

Inuyasha began to look a little suspicious. "Hey, what's so important that I can't-?"

"Inuyasha, hush," his wife responded, stepping outside. "I'm sure it won't take long."

The priestess followed Sesshomaru around the corner of the house, her head turning back and forth, and it was clear she was expecting to see Rin nearby.

"She's keeping A-Un company over in that field," Sesshomaru explained, waving vaguely in the general direction.

"Oh. I thought she'd be with you."

"She isn't doing anything she normally would, not right now."

With that, Sesshomaru gave a clipped summary of the circumstances that had led to Rin's recent abnormal behavior. Kagome listened with growing horror at every second, her hands initially covering her mouth before moving on to encompass almost the entire lower half of her face; her eyes welled up with sympathetic tears, and by the end of the story her face was so drenched it looked like she'd been attacked by a fountain.

"…I realize this is not something I can help her through, and I thought as a fellow woman, you may be able to offer her guidance and help her move on," Sesshomaru finished.

Kagome pulled out a little white square and blew her nose thoroughly. "Of course, of course, I'll do everything humanly possible." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "My family's expecting us, and Grandpa will worry if we don't show up; he'll imagine a whole host of terrible things that must have happened, and he'll exhaust Mom and Sota…."

The young woman mulled the situation over for a minute or two. Sesshomaru could practically hear Inuyasha's impatience inside the house, wondering what in the world was being discussed.

"I bet Mom wouldn't mind if she had two extra guests," Kagome said at last, smiling brightly. "Getting Rin away from this world for a little while might help her forget things somewhat, plus I can talk to her a lot better when I don't have to deal with villagers interrupting about their various woes."

Sesshomaru remained expressionless. She was suggesting he and Rin travel through the mysterious well to Kagome's strange world? What was it like there? Would Rin be safe? The priestess seemed eerily attuned to his thoughts.

"She'll be perfectly safe. And my mom might have some good advice too; she's very sweet and comforting."

Well, if it meant Rin stood a better chance at recovering….

"When are you leaving?"

Kagome grinned. "I was just finishing packing Izayoi's diaper bag when you came. Another five minutes and we'll be ready!"

She spun and hurried into her home; ten seconds later, there was an incredulous squawk from the resident half-demon. Sesshomaru decided to seek out his charge and let Kagome sort out the indignant Inuyasha. The demon lord found A-Un still munching away on the grass, while Rin detachedly stared off into the trees she had climbed and swung from not so long ago. Without a word Sesshomaru drew her off the dragon's back, placed her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, and moved off for the well; occasionally when she was a small child he had carried her this way when she was tired or injured and A-Un was not around, but it had not been necessary for a long time now.

 _Why am I doing this? She's perfectly capable of walking a half mile on her own._

He couldn't put his finger on the reason- this just felt like the right thing to do. Maybe he wanted to let her know he was still looking after her, or maybe he just wanted to feel useful…he honestly wasn't sure. Nothing was said over the course of the trip: Sesshomaru kept his hands braced behind the girl's lower back and shoulders, and Rin silently gazed behind them over his shoulder. In a short time they reached their destination, and the demon lord gently set his burden down on the edge of the Bone Eater's well. Rin examined the wood beneath her, clearly trying to ascertain why they were there, but at last she raised her head to give her companion a searching look.

"We're going through to Kagome's world."

The young woman gasped slightly. "We can do that?"

"Apparently."

"I've always wondered what it was like over there," Rin murmured, glancing into the abyss that yawned out behind her. "She tried describing it to me, but I never could quite imagine what exactly a lot of it was."

It was a shame. At another time, Rin would have been jumping up and down at the chance to finally be seeing this fabled place, but now she only seemed mildly interested.

"Why are we going there?"

Sesshomaru watched the two figures materializing between the trees not too far off. "She thinks it will help you."

Kagome and Inuyasha moved into the clearing. The half-demon had been almost swallowed alive by the mass of travel bags strapped all over his person, and he cast a doubtful squint at the baby his wife was blithely carrying.

"Are you _sure_ she'll need all this stuff?" he panted.

"You have to be prepared for every kind of emergency, especially with an infant!"

"Kagome, how are we going to get through?" Rin asked as the newcomers reached the well. "I thought only you and Inuyasha could do it."

"Well, I've been practicing to strengthen my spiritual powers a lot since I settled in the village; it's taken a long time, but I've developed them enough that I can transport someone with me. I have to "recharge" for a few minutes after, but I'm sure I can get both of you in two trips."

The priestess handed Izayoi to the baby's father before holding her hand out to Rin, who sent a hesitant look to Sesshomaru. The demon nodded reassuringly.

"I will follow shortly; I promise."

Tentatively, Rin laced her fingers with Kagome's, and on the count of three the party jumped into the well. Sesshomaru watched as they were engulfed by the darkness, though shortly after he lost sight of them there was a brief flare of light, which he presumed was the gateway opening between the worlds. He wondered if he could pass through on his own; after all, Inuyasha used to pop in and out of this very well all the time when Kagome still lived on the other side. Sesshomaru was the mightiest demon on all the earth- why couldn't he command this flimsy wooden box to obey him?

The demon lord drew himself up and leaped into the well, dropping down into the shadows, noting that they didn't seem as dark as they had when the others came through moments ago. He concentrated on the nearing ground, willing it to part for him, threatening it with multiple lacerations from Bakusaiga if it did not yield…his feet touched hard dirt. Sesshomaru scowled at the earth, still mentally telling it to cooperate. The dirt stared back at him with its bland, dusty face, and the demon lord huffily returned to the surface.

 _It must have something to do with Inuyasha's connection to the priestess,_ he mused. _That mutt certainly does not possess powers beyond my own._

He waited for what felt a lifetime for Kagome to return. He swore the breeze passing by laughed at him, taunting the most powerful being in the realm for having to rely on a puny human to transport him somewhere. At long last he caught a familiar scent, and Kagome cheerfully climbed halfway out of the hole.

"All right, I'm ready now. Come on in!"

Sesshomaru reluctantly allowed her to hold a small part of his sleeve, and they jumped. Everything was definitely darker than it had been when he'd tried this by himself, and the inky blackness soon swallowed them up. It seemed to Sesshomaru almost as if they were suspended in midair rather than they were falling anymore, but he couldn't be sure; there was an unearthly glow surrounding them now that stretched out endlessly, the confines of the well walls nonexistent. After a few more seconds the glow faded away, and Sesshomaru was standing on solid ground once again at the bottom of the well, but when he looked up there was a roof over the entrance. He drew a breath and was instantly assaulted by a hundred different scents, most of which he did not recognize; he was becoming less and less sure about this whole idea.

They emerged from the little temple into bright sunlight, which was tripled in strength due to the midday rays bouncing off the white ground that surrounded them in all directions; the resulting glare was almost blinding. Sesshomaru looked down at the strange flat substance beneath his feet: it was hard as stone, yet it was one solid, smooth piece. He had never seen anything like it.

"Come on, everybody's inside the house," Kagome announced, skipping towards what the demon lord assumed was her family's domicile.

There were the familiar sounds of birds chirping and the wind rustling through the leafy trees as they walked, but something else droned in the background beyond the property; it was a dull hum, punctuated by slightly louder bursts of noise from time to time, and it seemed to be continuous without ever pausing for breath. Surely even the largest herd of strange animals could not make such a ruckus without some momentary halt, occasionally? Sesshomaru gave another sniff: no, there were no animals nearby at all. There was an acrid tang in the air quality, and he wondered if it was some sort of byproduct from whatever made the noise.

"I'm sure your keen senses are going into overdrive right now," the priestess said sympathetically, her brow furrowing a little as she looked back at her trailing companion. "I wondered how it would affect you."

"It is a wonder your species hasn't choked to death on these…these fumes."

The young woman gave a slight sad nod. "You must be smelling the exhaust from the cars. I can't distinguish it until I'm down in the thick of traffic, but of course you'd notice it even from this distance. Don't worry, it isn't in the house…well, I would _think_ you couldn't smell it there. Mom's usually got a candle or two going at any given time."

They stepped into the house. Inuyasha was lugging the various bags away while an elderly man cooed over the baby; a kind-faced woman finished pouring a cup of tea for Rin before crossing the room to smile up at the towering newcomer.

"You must be Sesshomaru! It's so nice to finally meet you. Would you care for a drink?"

The demon lord declined with a quarter-turn of his head. The elderly man on the couch looked up from his tickling and face-making.

"Sesshomaru? Isn't that the name of the brother Inuyasha can't st-"

"So Grandpa, what have you been up to lately?" Kagome declared hurriedly, plopping down beside her relative.

Sesshomaru looked around at the controlled chaos. Was there no place he could withdraw to shield himself from all the chatter?

 _Remember, you're here for Rin. You couldn't exactly let her come to some foreign world without you; you can't think about yourself right now._

He made his way to Rin, who was situated in a chair with her tea, her curiosity overpowering the lethargic mourning for the time being.

"There are so many lights," she informed the demon once he was closer. "And they're _in_ the ceiling!"

There certainly were a number of strange things to gawk at. The walls had color, multiple pieces of furniture dotted the room, entirely foreign cooking smells drifted through the air…and there was an _animal_ in the house as if it were perfectly natural! The cat got within a few feet of Sesshomaru and instantly raised his hackles, hissing and spitting before making a mad dash through the doorway to seek refuge from the intruding canine presence. The dog demon was nonplussed, though several of the humans seemed to find things rather amusing.

Before long Sesshomaru found himself on his own. Kagome took Rin away to show her the house, Inuyasha wandered into the kitchen after his mother-in-law, and the grandfather went outside to tend to his shrine. Without his agenda of conquering the world the demon lord realized he had nothing to occupy his time, and he certainly had no desire to explore the smelly outdoors. He wandered the abandoned living room for a while, pausing to observe the framed pictures littered about; a likeness impossibly accurate of Kagome smiled out of quite a few frames, and one large display of a majestic lone mountain peak was so real the observer swore it was a window, but a glance around the corner to the other side of the wall revealed the puzzling fact that only more of the house lay beyond.

 _I think I will understand humans even less after this whole ordeal,_ Sesshomaru sighed to himself.

* * *

Things didn't improve much over the next few days. Rin was rarely glimpsed at all, between Kagome introducing her to a hundred of her world's marvels and the young women holing up in the bedroom to talk for hours on end. Sesshomaru was encouraged by the occasional little laugh he heard drift from his ward, but far more often he was aware of crying and sobbing spilling under the closed door. The Lady Higurashi (he didn't know how else to address her) was most generous with her tea and snacks, seeming to always home in on when Rin was reaching the zenith of her distress and appearing with a fresh tray when it was needed most. The demon lord was very grateful for her selfless assistance, so he declined her meals far more graciously than he normally would when a human offered him food.

Inuyasha spent most of the time holding his daughter, whether he was simply cradling her while she slept, or bouncing her braced against his shoulder, or making odd noises and tickling her feet. The baby was mercifully well-behaved overall, though she still fussed far too much for Sesshomaru's liking. There was a never-ending line of people ready to take care of Izayoi; indeed, she seemed to be the star of the visit, in many ways. She appeared to the demon lord no different from any other annoying infant, though Kagome's brother Sota assured him she was far better than most.

 _Perhaps that is her noble blood showing._

Sesshomaru tried not to dwell too long on Izayoi's lineage, knowing stewing over the old issue wouldn't change things one iota, but it was still hard to accept he now had a relative that was three-quarters human. What would his father say, were he alive?

"He'd probably want to hold her as much as Inuyasha," he muttered in disgust.

Kagome strolled into the living room, her arm around Rin's shoulders while her other hand affectionately tousled the younger girl's hair.

"We're going out to show Rin the town," the priestess declared gaily. "We'll probably be gone several hours."

"Lord Sesshomaru, would you like to come with us?"

"I must decline the invitation, but thank you all the same, Rin."

Rin's face fell, but she nodded. "Of course."

Kagome sent the seated demon a brief angry glare, but quickly dropped it before her companion noticed. "Don't worry, we'll have more fun without him anyway."

In a matter of minutes the two girls and Inuyasha were gone, and the house was noticeably more quiet. The lone figure in white sat unmoving for a long while on the couch, wondering once again what in the world people here did to entertain themselves. Lady Higurashi entered the room in time, bearing her sleeping granddaughter and a plate of brown circles.

"Oh, Sesshomaru! Did you not go with the others?" she asked pleasantly as she settled in a nearby chair.

"I have no desire to mingle with any more humans than necessary," the demon returned.

The woman nodded understandingly. "Rin was telling me about your preference for seclusion. She is such a delightful girl, by the way; I'm so sorry about what happened to her."

"Is she any better?"

Lady Higurashi pondered the question carefully before answering. "I believe she may have turned a corner this morning; we had a long talk just the two of us, and I told her about some of the terrible things I went through in the past. It wasn't the exact same situation, mind you, but I think I helped connect some dots for her. After all," she laughed lightly, "Kagome is very wise for her age, but there are some things only experience can teach you."

Sesshomaru gave a slight nod. "I am indebted to you for your kindness."

"You made the right choice in coming here; I think a retreat like this is just what Rin needs to help reset the board." She held out the plate. "Cookie?"

"No, thank you."

Izayoi shifted in her blanket and made a slight smacking noise with her lips, then continued to drift in her slumber. Lady Higurashi cuddled the child close and kissed her forehead. She was a noble woman, Sesshomaru had decided, clothed in quiet strength and an unassuming dignity befitting of a benevolent queen; she seemed bred of entirely different stock compared to the rabble of other mortals he'd encountered over the centuries.

"Rin really wanted you to go with her," she said gently, looking up from her charge.

"She always spends her time with me; it will be good for her to have a change of company for a while."

"At any other time, I think that would be a fine idea, but not now." Lady Higurashi gave him a steady gaze. "Rin is incredibly vulnerable right now, and she looks to you as her rock; she needs the comfort of having you close by, especially while she's in a foreign world unlike anything she could have ever imagined."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying she is in danger out there?"

"No, no, she's perfectly safe." Her voice took on an even kinder tone. "You have to understand that women, especially one as sweet-natured as Rin, won't always reach out for the comfort they want. You have to take note of her behavior and react accordingly, even if she doesn't tell you what she's thinking."

The demon lord frowned slightly. Hadn't he been doing that more and more as the young woman stayed with him longer? He thought he had gotten to be fairly attuned to reading her desires.

"I know hustle and bustle makes you uncomfortable, but to really be there for Rin you need to reach out and let her know you care; if there's something she wants to do, you should try as best you can to do it with her. It will make all the difference, I promise."

The clock on the wall ticked, and somewhere far beyond the house walls a mongrel dog barked. What was Rin doing right now? Was she enjoying herself? Sesshomaru was beginning to wonder if perhaps he should have gone with her after all, if for no other reason than to avoid being bored to death.

"Do you think her spirit will recover?" he asked at last in a very low tone.

Lady Higurashi was surprisingly emphatic. "Yes, I do. It will take time, but she will come back from this." She gave her companion another insightful look. "Of course, she'll need your help. As time goes by, you must make sure your desire to heal her does not lessen; she'll reach the point where she no longer outwardly appears broken, but inside she will still be hurting to a certain extent. Do all you can to let her know you care."

The woman rose from her seat with a smile, taking Izayoi with her. She slid the plate of cookies further down the table as she passed.

"They're chocolate chip; you really should try one."

She left the room and headed away down the hall, presumably to put the baby in her crib. Sesshomaru eyed the plate for a minute before cautiously picking up one of the semi-pliable flour discs, sniffing it with suspicion; it didn't seem particularly menacing. He had every intention of putting the cookie back down, but his curiosity was aroused as he caught a whiff of something sweet that actually seemed rather pleasurable. He glanced down the empty hall, and then hesitantly bit off a chunk…then another about ten seconds later…as he finished and reached for a second, he had to admit that for human food…these were not bad at all.


	15. Chapter 14-World of MetalAnd Corndogs

**Chapter 14- The World of Metal…And Corndogs**

It was after dark when the three travelers returned home, with Rin sleepily perched piggyback-style on Inuyasha's back.

"We wore her out," Kagome explained. "We walked all over the place and ate all sorts of food, and before we knew it we were all dead on our feet."

Sesshomaru was disappointed; he had hoped to spend a little time with Rin this evening and hear how she was faring- he felt like he'd barely more than glimpsed her throughout this visit. However, the next morning he found the young woman alone in the living room without Kagome or anyone else monopolizing her attention, and he pressed the advantage.

"Did you enjoy yourself yesterday?" he inquired as he sat down at the other end of the sofa.

Rin nodded and took a sip of her tea. "There are so many people here! Everywhere you look there are more and more of them, and so close together! And the food…I can't even describe what it tasted like; it was unlike anything I've ever had."

The demon lord glanced at her from the corner of his eye, desperately wanting to ask how she was feeling, but unsure how she would react; would she appreciate the gesture, or just think he was pushing?

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much; there's just been so much to talk about."

"We came here for you, Rin. Take as much time as you need."

She was looking at him: Sesshomaru could feel it even as he stared at the wall ahead. Surely he hadn't managed to say something wrong already? He gave up and returned her gaze.

"What?"

Rin shyly looked down at her tea. "I…I just appreciate how kind you are to me."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I mean, it's…" the young woman seemed to be at a loss for words. "It's not like you _have_ to be nice to me; you choose to do so, and I know that isn't something you'd do for most people-"

" _Any_ one else," the demon corrected.

"But why is that?"

Sesshomaru fell silent and resumed his monitoring of the wall. He was very much aware that Rin was still waiting for an answer, but how could he give one when he didn't even know it?

 _It's the very question I've asked myself a thousand times, but I've never settled on one final verdict._

He'd lighted on bits and pieces of the answer plenty of times in the past: Rin was endearing, easy to talk to, and had changed his life for the better (whenever his pride tried to argue that last point, he had only to hear her locket play to concede). But none of these reasons seemed like they could explain the whole picture- they were part of the story, but he had yet to find a word that summarized the entirety of his feelings for her. It was maddening that he still hadn't figured it out after all these years, but that didn't seem like the proper response to give the waiting girl, either.

"Anyone who would want to treat you with anything other than kindness is not fit to live," he answered at last.

Rin took a very long sip from her mug after that, apparently unsure what to say; whether she was pleased or disappointed by the remark was impossible to know.

"Are you venturing out again today?" Sesshomaru asked, eager to change the subject.

"I think we were planning to, yes."

"Would you have room for one more companion?"

The young woman slightly choked on her tea. "You'd come with us?"

"It would be better than hearing the old man wail about his ridiculous charms and nonexistent spiritual powers everywhere he goes."

Rin giggled. "He does like to carry on so." She gave Sesshomaru a big smile, the most genuine he'd seen in a month. "I'd love for you to come."

* * *

When Kagome found out the party was gaining an extra member, she clapped her hands in delight and seemed ridiculously happy over what the demon lord considered to be a very trivial matter; three seconds later she dashed outside, yelling something over her shoulder about needing to check out a secondhand shop. Inuyasha entered the room right as his wife left, and watched her go with a rather bewildered expression.

"Where's she off to in such a big awful hurry?"

"When she found out Lord Sesshomaru was coming with us, she said she needed to get some supplies," Rin explained.

"Whoa, wait, what?" the half-demon asked with a start. He glanced at his older brother for a few seconds, and it seemed something softened in his face. "I mean, sure, why not?" he corrected, attempting to smile. "The more the merrier, right?"

 _He really is determined to treat me differently,_ Sesshomaru mused, watching Inuyasha amble upstairs.

In half an hour Kagome had returned, bearing a colorful shopping bag full of clothes. She plopped it down on the carpet in front of the demon lord and looked at him expectantly. He stared back at her in an expressionless way, waiting to be given an explanation.

"I tell you what, you are not an easy guy to shop for!" Kagome declared, dropping into a chair. "There aren't many people around here as tall as you, so I had to hunt high and low to find something that even looked like it would fit; I had to guess, since I figured you wouldn't take too kindly to me measuring you."

Sesshomaru glanced down at the various fabrics peeking around one another in the bag. "And why would you expect me to wear these rags?" he asked coldly.

Rin made some sort of motion at Kagome and jumped into the conversation. "Lord Sesshomaru, people in this world dress very differently from us; if you go out with your armor and swords and everything, they'll think something's wrong with you."

"I do not care in the slightest what these humans think."

"But we won't be able to have any fun if you go out dressed as you are now: people will stare at us and think we're weird, and it'll make it a lot harder to do anything."

"Trust me, I speak from experience," Kagome put in. "I used to let Inuyasha walk around in his robe, and it made it _so_ much harder to get anywhere without a ton of people pointing and stuff. I finally got tired of it."

Sesshomaru had noticed yesterday that Inuyasha's red robe was nowhere to be seen; he had instead worn his plain undershirt and some form-fitting blue pants, as well as an absurd hat.

"I'm sorry to ask you to wear these, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin stated quietly as she put a hand on his arm, "but it's the only way you can come with us."

The demon lord looked at her for a minute before wordlessly picking up the bag and stalking into the place they called the bathroom. He spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out how these bizarre garments were even supposed to be worn, giving experimental tugs here and there, wondering why clothes had evolved into such a complicated state; despite his disgust for all things mortal, he did at least admit the sliding piece of metal with the toothed track on the front of the pants was intriguing. At last he emerged, trying his hardest to maintain dignity while feeling he was not the least bit dignified at all. He assumed the pants were correct at least, but he had given up entirely in figuring out how to make the shirt stay closed.

"Very striking," Kagome commented as the demon lord hesitantly came back to the living room.

Her words didn't quite match her actions. She was grinning like mad while half-heartedly trying to hide it, and it seemed she was failing in her attempt to suppress what sounded suspiciously like giggles. On the other hand, Rin's cheeks had turned crimson and she was very determinedly staring down at her lap; Sesshomaru had the awkward and foreign sensation he had done something wrong, but he was too proud to ask what it could possibly have been. When it became obvious Kagome was not going to share her thoughts about what was so funny, Rin at last took pity and crossed the room to stand in front of her lord; she glanced up at him shyly, and with some hesitation she took hold of his shirt and began to pull the little hard circles through holes in the fabric.

"The buttons go through like this," she explained, her eyes trained on her hands.

Sesshomaru watched as her nimble fingers gradually closed the gap between the two halves of the shirt; he noted that the red in her face seemed to freshen every time part of her hand brushed against his bare chest, but he did not understand why that should be any cause for consternation. The young woman finished and took several steps back just as Inuyasha came into the room.

"So are we ready to- hey, why doesn't _he_ have to wear a hat?"

"He doesn't have dog ears, duh," Kagome responded with exaggerated annoyance. "Although, the hair is awfully eye-catching; I would say we braid it, but all that might do is make people think cross-dresser…."

"I don't think it'll all fit tucked inside a hat, either," Rin noted.

Let them try to make him wear one of those hats: Sesshomaru was not opposed to giving his brother a nick or two on the arm, just to remind him who he was dealing with.

"I guess we'll just leave the hair alone," the priestess decided. "Oh, and you can leave your swords here."

The demon lord's grip on Bakusaiga tightened. "I am not leaving them behind," he warned with a barely contained snarl.

Inuyasha crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "You can't go flaunting deadly weapons out in public! Someone would try to arrest you, and that wouldn't turn out well at all. Besides," he flicked some imaginary dust off his shoulder, "Kagome's world is pretty safe most of the time. Your poisoned claws and whip will be more than enough to handle anything that comes along, if it even comes."

Lady Higurashi materialized out of nowhere. "Oh Sesshomaru, I can take care of those for you. I'll put them in the special chest in my room where I keep my most cherished mementos; no one goes in there but me. They'll be safe, I promise."

Sesshomaru was not one to ever back down, especially when others were watching. There was a tense silence as he glared at the mangy half-demon, and then he glimpsed Rin's watchful gaze; they were here for her, after all, and relinquishing his swords was the only way he'd get to see her today. Without a sound the demon lord deposited the two weapons in the waiting woman's hands, after which he immediately strode outside without so much as a glance at the humans. He heard Rin follow on his heels, though he pretended not to notice.

"Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru," he heard her say after a while.

"Lady Higurashi has been very kind to you during our stay; I had no wish to upset her."

"Of course."

Kagome and Inuyasha filed out of the house in another minute. The priestess smiled and gaily skipped towards the large stone steps that led down into the city.

"Come on, everybody! Let's have some fun!" she called, pulling her husband along.

Rin stayed back with Sesshomaru, dutifully trotting just in his wake. The demon lord recalled how over the last few weeks he had let her walk directly beside him, as he would an equal, in an attempt to show his support and concern; his ego had survived the concession, and he wondered if he should make the arrangement permanent.

 _After all, she is not my servant. She naturally fell into place behind me out of respect as she grew older, but she has earned the right to be respected herself._

Sesshomaru took Rin's shoulder and pushed her forward the extra half step to bring her fully abreast of him. Within a few strides the young woman had fallen behind again, and again he pulled her forward.

"No."

He was tempted to lie and say he wanted her within better view so he could protect her quicker, but she deserved the truth.

"This is your place now," he softly informed her.

Rin bowed her head, too humbled to speak. They reached the street a short time after that, and Sesshomaru turned his attention to the noisy world that surrounded them. His ward had not been wrong when she claimed there were people everywhere here; they crowded onto the walkways, spilled out of tall buildings, and zoomed by in great metal beasts. A number of them gave odd looks to the demon lord as they passed, and he understood why Kagome had wanted to do something with his hair- apparently, none of these people were accustomed to anything beyond black or brown for color, and certainly they kept their manes trimmed much shorter. Sesshomaru didn't care about this in the slightest, though he did not take kindly to these humans thinking they could stare at him without the least bit of reverence.

"How are you holding up with the smells?" Rin asked, trying to distract him from flaying alive the man that had just bumped his arm.

Sesshomaru sent a livid glare after the commoner as he scuttled away. "I will manage."

The group walked along for several blocks until they came to an intersection. Rin set one foot down into the dark-colored road where the metallic monsters roamed, and Sesshomaru instantly latched onto her upper arms, yanking her back against him while keeping a death grip on her arms.

"Those creatures will mow you down, Rin," he hissed. "These dark patches are their territory."

Kagome lightly punched his shoulder. She was so incredibly fortunate he didn't have a weapon on him.

"That light ahead means the cars have to stop and we can walk. Come on; and for heaven's sake, let go of her arms! You'll cut off her circulation for sure."

Reluctantly, Sesshomaru unfastened his protective grasp and followed the pair ahead. They stopped in several different stores that were stocked with numerous odd and unfamiliar items. Kagome stole Rin away multiple times to show her various wonders, including something she called 'chocolate samples,' leaving the demon lord and his brother to stand stiffly a few feet apart in the midst of the sea of display cases. Inuyasha fiddled with his beaded necklace, and Sesshomaru stared ahead at a mousy little clerk just to unnerve him.

"Uh, try not to touch anything," the half-demon muttered at last. "I've broken a couple things before and Kagome always got real mad at me."

 _As if I would be clumsy enough to do such a thing._

This pattern continued for a while, with the girls going off in one direction and the men left to awkwardly stand by in the meantime. After the first hour or so, the next time Kagome came to collect her tourist, Rin instead lightly put her hands around Sesshomaru's arm and kept her feet planted.

"Let's do something for everybody," she suggested.

Kagome tapped her chin for a minute or two, casting a somewhat apprehensive look at the tall demon before her. Before long a light came into her eyes, and she did some searching in her purse.

"Actually, that might work," she mumbled under her breath excitedly. "Mom keeps an allowance for my visits, and I think I've got some coupons in here…." At last she looked up with triumph. "Sesshomaru, if we go someplace with a lot of noise and motion, will you promise not to attack anybody?"

"I can promise no such thing," he replied loftily.

"If I swear no one there wants to harm you and it's all safe and it's just meant to be fun, will you stay calm and keep your claws to yourself?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. "Where exactly are we going?"

The priestess made a helpless gesture. "It's kind of hard to explain. I'm sure Rin would love it, but we can only go if I know you're not going to take a single swipe."

She was crafty: she knew bringing his ward's happiness into this would make him relent.

"I will not attack unless there is a clear sign of danger," he answered at last.

"Well, I guess that's the best we can ask for."

* * *

Kagome led them to a street corner and made them wait for a length of time. Sesshomaru had no idea what she could be waiting for, and he kept his senses on high alert for any possible danger. After a while he felt a very slight rumble distinct from the rest of traffic beneath his feet, and he held his claws at the ready to fend off their enemy. Kagome shot him a disapproving glare.

" _No violence_ ," she demanded.

The biggest metal beast he had yet seen lumbered into view, and in thirty seconds it drew alongside them and screeched to a halt, belching forth a cloud of putrid smoke. Several people disembarked from within its belly, after which Kagome and Inuyasha climbed inside, motioning quickly when they saw their companions rooted to the sidewalk.

"Hurry up before you get left behind!"

The demon lord looked down at the young woman beside him. "Do you wish to follow them?"

Despite the fear in her eyes, Rin gave a trembling nod. "I trust Kagome," she whispered.

Sesshomaru went first, firmly holding onto Rin's hand behind him. He sniffed cautiously: a hundred ugly odors hit him, but none of them were outright threatening. There were plenty of people, all quietly seated, and several were staring in his general direction. The demon lord cautiously advanced down the aisle and pulled his companion into the seat behind Kagome and Inuyasha.

"What manner of creature is this?" he asked in spite of himself, observing how everything was securely bolted down into the animal's stomach lining.

"It's a bus," Kagome answered absent-mindedly, digging in her purse once again.

The bus beast made a groaning sound and lurched forward, and the feeling was unlike anything Sesshomaru had felt before. He had flown, he had ridden various lowly creatures, but this motion was entirely different; the floor bumped and rumbled, and he found himself swaying side to side, despite the fact his seat wasn't actually moving. The streets and people outside flew by, then the bus significantly slowed and began to lean so far to one side Sesshomaru swore it was falling over.

"What is it doing now?" he demanded.

"We're just turning. It feels really disorienting the first time or two, but I promise we're actually staying upright; it's safe."

Despite what Kagome said, the next turn was sharp enough Rin slid right into her companion and was held there by the invisible force until the beast straightened itself out.

"Sorry!" the girl gasped, edging away as soon as she could.

Sesshomaru put his arm behind her. "I will brace you next time."

Apparently there was no need for the beast to turn again for quite some time after that, but the demon lord kept his arm in position just to be ready anyway. They traveled for an untracked number of miles, occasionally stopping to drop off or pick up more people, and the demon lord began to wonder just how big this village was; there were no open fields or valleys, but only endless lines of street after street and enumerable buildings.

"What do you think of Kagome's world so far?" he asked the young woman beside him.

Rin watched the ever-changing scene beyond the window with wide eyes. "It's amazing. There's so much to see and do, and the food is fantastic, but…" she gave him a small smile, "it's a little too crowded for me. It's nice for a visit, but I wouldn't want to live here."

It was very pleasing to hear that answer: Sesshomaru had had the irrational thought that perhaps Rin would prefer this world to their own. He nodded in acknowledgement of her statement before noting the bus was slowing again, and that Kagome was rising from her seat.

"This is where we get off," she announced cheerily as the monster stopped entirely.

The foursome disembarked and followed the priestess for several minutes. As they continued, Sesshomaru began to hear screams; some seemed to be of delight, but quite a few sounded terrified. There were roars and rumbles as well, almost like a dragon was loose somewhere nearby.

"We should go no further," the demon lord declared, stopping in his tracks.

"I felt the same way the first time I came," Inuyasha assured him, signaling they should keep walking. "It sounds like they're all being tortured, but the truth is humans _like_ scaring themselves; it makes them push their limitations and they feel braver and stronger afterward. There's calmer stuff to do too, don't worry."

"Thousands of people go to places like this every day in this era, and nothing bad happens," Kagome added, pointing at the colorful archway ahead. "You know I would never do anything to endanger Rin."

"I'll tell you if I get scared," Rin informed the demon as they waited for the priestess to pay their way. "She told me about this place yesterday, and I think it sounds interesting."

Well, if Rin wanted to come here, that was enough to satisfy Sesshomaru, at least for now. No sooner had he set foot through the gate when he began to rethink his position and wondered if he shoulder intervene on behalf of his charge- clearly, she had taken leave of her senses if she thought this menagerie looked appealing. Lights flashed everywhere, the air was oppressively saturated with bizarre smells, and there was a nonstop chorus of various cries sounding at every turn. Worst of all were the many different containers speeding through the sky carrying mortals of all sizes, threatening to fling them airborne at any moment and send them to the netherworld much sooner than they anticipated. Rin at least looked a little frightened and overwhelmed at all this, but there was still a small gleam of curiosity present.

"We'll start with something easy; let's try out the carousel first."

Kagome led them to a line of people, where they stood for some unknown reason for the next ten minutes. After a lot of shuffling they stepped onto a covered platform filled with carved animals impaled on golden poles- Sesshomaru was beginning to have serious doubts about what humans considered entertainment in this time period. He followed the example of those around him and mounted one of the imitation beasts, but only after making sure his ward was securely seated nearby. The platform began to rotate as lilting music rose from somewhere within the center, and the demon lord was aware of his mount rhythmically rising and falling; for the first minute he was at a total loss as to what purpose this could possibly serve, but after the child ahead of him made a sound imitating a horse, it struck him.

 _They're simulating what it is like to ride an animal. If that's all they wanted to accomplish, why in the world don't they just have real ones penned here?_

He glanced at Rin. She didn't exactly look thrilled (how could she, when she was accustomed to riding a dragon every day?), but there was a smile on her lips nonetheless.

 _As long as she enjoys herself, that's all that matters. I can endure these silly games if it will help lift her spirits._

It turned out there were plenty of things housed in this park to endure. Next, they rode another platform filled with leather harnesses on chains that spun quite fast and lifted its occupants off the ground by sheer force; Sesshomaru could not see what the logical explanation was behind this one, and he noticed afterwards a number of the riders stumbled off looking very green in the face. Then there was a small ship with no sail mounted on a sturdy beam on perfectly dry land: the boat swung back and forth like a pendulum, over and over, and the demon lord wondered how some could possibly consider this entertaining- it served no point at all. The next few hours were filled with such absurdities, from a tower that simply dropped you in your seat straight to the ground, to more structures that were simply a variation on the spinning-fast-in-a-circle concept.

 _If these humans are so eager to frighten themselves, they should try surviving a demon encounter or being chased by ferocious wolves._

The group stopped by a booth meant to challenge one's aim with the strangest bow Sesshomaru had ever seen (Inuyasha called it a cork gun), but Kagome easily shot down all the targets in record time, earning herself an enormous stuffed bear.

"You should try it, Sesshomaru," the priestess commented. "I bet you could do it."

Not to be outdone by a human, the white-haired demon picked up the gun and, after several moments of examining the firing mechanism, pulled the trigger. The cork harmlessly tapped the back wall of the booth, to his inward chagrin.

"No, no, you've got to brace it like this," Kagome explained, readjusting his hold. "You won't fire straight, otherwise."

Sesshomaru set his jaw tightly; he was not accustomed to being corrected, especially in terms of combat. He took aim for the row of moving ducks, fired, and watched one target disappear. All his remaining shots hit home, but because he had missed the first time the bear handed to him was smaller than Kagome's; having absolutely no use for such a thing, he presented it to Rin as they walked away. The young woman blushed slightly and hugged it close.

"Let's get some food now; I'm starving!" Inuyasha yelled after his wife, who had been heading for yet another ride.

"Of course you are. You can't stay full for more than a few minutes, it seems!"

The majority of the group was soon armed with assorted snacks and treats, emitting all the usual noises associated with those satisfied with their food, while their fully demonic companion looked on emotionlessly. Rin bit into her oddly-shaped delicacy on a stick and looked about ready to lose her mind.

"Ohhhh my goodness, this may be the best thing I've tried yet!" she exclaimed. "Oh Lord Sesshomaru, I wish you'd try it!"

Sesshomaru thought about Lady Higurashi's cookies, and how they were the first human food he'd ever tried that had actually been fairly tasty. Was there something different about the way food was cooked in this day and age that made it more palatable? Rin must have noticed the lack of total disgust that was usually present around mortal fare, and with surprise she held it out to him.

"Would…would you like to try it?" she asked in a bewildered tone.

The demon lord gingerly took the stick and visually examined it. "What is it?"

"It's a corndo- uh, it's meat encased in fried bread. The yellow swirl is mustard."

Sesshomaru sniffed. There were no particularly putrid fumes emanating from this thing. He carefully took a bite and mulled over the unusual flavors, searching for something in his database of experiences to compare it to, but came up empty-handed; he finally handed it back to Rin and slowly nodded.

"It is not detestable."

The young woman grinned. "Really? Do you want some more?"

"I have no desire to take your food."

Rin pressed the stick into his hand again. "I can get another one, don't worry."

She scampered off and left Sesshomaru holding the snack. Well, if she wasn't going to eat it, it would be a shame to let this go to waste….

The rest of the afternoon was spent at this so-called amusement park. Once everyone had eaten, Kagome dragged them all to what she called the roller coasters, which turned out to be the source of what Sesshomaru had first thought were a dragon's roars. These at least were not confined to whirling around in circles, though the demon lord still failed to see how any of them were frightening; even Rin screamed a little during some of the sudden drops, and she had faced things far more terrifying in the past. Inuyasha insisted they next visit the hall of mirrors, which seemed to be nothing more than an infinite number of chances to admire oneself; Sesshomaru was not the least bit surprised his younger brother wanted to spend his time there. After that it was more roller coasters, and then Rin wanted to again ride the tower that dropped you, then more roaring dragons, and before long Kagome was saying they'd better head back to be home in time for dinner.

"But we have to ride the Ferris wheel before we go; that's the perfect way to end the day."

They lined up with the other throngs of people at the foot of the giant wheel and waited for their turn. As they at last loaded into their tiny open-air compartment, Sesshomaru breathed an inward sigh of relief: this was the last indignity he had to suffer through, and then it would be all over. He had been tempted constantly throughout the day to vocalize his disparaging opinions on the ridiculous things they'd done, but all he had to do was look at Rin and all desire to criticize disappeared; she was the happiest he had seen her in a month, and it seemed she was carrying herself taller and straighter than she had in a long while.

 _Perhaps Inuyasha was not so far off when he claimed this place makes humans more confident in themselves,_ he mused.

The wheel lifted their bucket up into the air, the ground falling away beneath them. The sun was setting between the tall buildings, splaying orange rays across the ground in a crisscrossing pattern as the colors of the sky tumbled towards the horizon.

"It's just like flying," Rin breathed, staring out at the foreign land under her feet.

Their compartment came to a halt at the peak of the rotation, providing the riders with more time to take in their surroundings and enjoy the moment; a short while later the wheel continued its journey, and after another rotation it was over and the four travelers were following others who had had their fill of fun for the day out of the park towards waiting bus beasts.

"I'm so glad you came with us, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin sighed happily. "I know that probably wasn't the best experience for you, but I'm really happy you were here to see it, too; it would have been so hard for me to describe it all later."

"Do you think you will be ready to go back soon?"

"Yes, I'm definitely ready to be able to take things a little slower again."

Sesshomaru debated if he should ask his next question or not as they filed into the bus once again; he wanted to know the answer so much, but he was unsure of the reaction he might get. The suspense was killing him, and at last he relented.

"Are you feeling…better, now?"

Rin took on a more serious countenance, but she nodded a minute later. "I am. The horror isn't quite so fresh anymore, though I still can't think about it for too long before I start feeling panicked."

Sesshomaru looked out the window. "Then I will not bring it up again; I have no wish to cause you pain."

The young woman tenderly stroked her teddy bear's head. "I know you don't," she replied in a low voice.

It almost sounded like a touch of melancholy was in that reply, but considering what he had just said Sesshomaru felt obligated to refrain from commenting.


	16. Chapter 15- A Changing Playing Field

**Chapter 15- A Changing Playing Field**

The trip back to Kagome's former home did not seem nearly as long as it had coming out, and in no time at all they were being greeted by Lady Higurashi and the prattling old man. Sesshomaru immediately commandeered the bathroom once again and changed into his kimono and armor, glad to at last be rid of the restrictive clothes of this era; he was reunited with his swords a short time later, and he was pleased to see they had indeed been treated well. As this was the visitors' last night, Lady Higurashi had prepared quite a feast for them, and the demon lord was almost sorry he didn't like human food when he saw how much effort she had put forth; unfortunately, this meal seemed to consist of far more traditional mortal sustenance, the kind that did absolutely nothing to stimulate his senses or appetite.

It wasn't long before the humans began to show signs of wearing out for the day, and Sesshomaru made his exit to the roof. He had spent his nights in the living room until he learned yesterday that Rin had been sleeping in a bag on the floor in Kagome's room, after which he insisted she sleep on the couch; his charge promised the bag was quite comfortable, but the demon was adamant. He was not fond of the outdoors in this world, but he would gladly pass the time there if it meant Rin could sleep on a cushioned surface for once.

 _The stars are not nearly so bright here, or as numerous,_ he mused, looking up at the smudged blue-black sky. _What have the humans done that could possibly affect even the heavens themselves?_

"Sesshomaru?"

He looked: Kagome had somehow climbed up onto the roof, and was now cautiously settling herself down a few feet away. The demon lord chose to ignore her.

"Hey, I know we won't really have a chance to talk alone before we all go back tomorrow, and there's something we need to discuss."

 _Why does this brazen woman think she can just strike up a conversation about anything she chooses with whomever she wants to? She is far too overbearing._

"I heard what you said to Rin earlier, how you asked about her feelings and everything; that was really kind of you, and I know she appreciated it." Kagome sighed. "But you messed up."

 _Stay calm. There's no point in starting a war with Inuyasha by terrorizing his wife for her impudence; we'll be leaving tomorrow and be rid of them._

The priestess tucked her arms under her knees. "Don't get me wrong, you had the right idea in asking how she was feeling- that was great, and I'm really glad to see you think to ask such a thing. The problem is, you should have gone further."

"She said that thinking about the issue made it worse; pursuing the subject was the very thing she didn't want me to do."

"You don't solve a problem by ignoring it," Kagome insisted. "You're observant: I know you had to have noticed the fact Rin sounded rather sad when you said you wouldn't talk about the matter anymore. Do you know why that was?"

Sesshomaru considered the question. He knew he could just as easily walk away and remove himself from this conversation, but he was ever-so-slightly curious to know where this was headed.

"She was disturbed from thinking about the incident," he answered at last.

The young woman beside him shook her head. "She was wishing you would comfort her, but she's resigned to the fact you never will but so much, and her disappointment slipped out."

"How can you possibly claim to know such inner thoughts so entirely?" Sesshomaru demanded.

"It's not that hard!" Kagome thundered back, fire burning in her eyes. "I'm a woman, I know how we think and know all the little intricacies of how we talk! And besides, humans _need_ physical reinforcement for what's being said; if you say you care but never really show it, it's like you don't care at all!"

"I will have you know I have become far better at inquiring after Rin's state of being, and I have even gone so far as to put a hand to her shoulder occasionally, which I view as a totally useless gesture but it seems to bring her happiness."

Were all the women in this family determined to beat him with this subject? He'd already listened to Lady Higurashi on this same topic recently: surely there couldn't be more he didn't know? The priestess took a long slow breath and spoke in a calmer voice.

"That is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about, but you need to do it more freely. You shouldn't wait until Rin is in deep and utter distress to show her you care; it should be something you do often, even when she's not upset. You aren't concerned about her wellbeing only when she's in trouble: you're always on the lookout to make sure she's all right, and showing her you care should be the same way."

Sesshomaru felt his frown increase. "If she desires comfort through touch, why does she sometimes jump or grow red when I actually do it?"

Kagome drew herself up straighter. "That just proves you don't do it often enough; it's so rare you make contact with her, it's startling her when you follow through. But, that doesn't mean she doesn't like it."

Sesshomaru inwardly groaned- women were far too complicated for him to even hope of ever truly understanding them. He hated the idea of Rin not getting the attention she needed, but how could he expect to ever know all the possible meanings of even the smallest gestures? It was an incredibly difficult thing to do, but he begrudgingly managed to swallow his pride and asked the question.

"How am I to know what to do, then?"

Kagome took on a mad grin and clapped her hands. "Oh bless you, I was afraid I might have to steamroll you; you definitely catch on quicker than Inuyasha."

The demon stiffened. "If you compare me to my filthy half-brother again, I will throw you off this roof."

She didn't seem the least bit fazed by the threat. "Here's the thing: I truly believe that deep down, you already know how to treat her. The problem is you've never had need of that ability prior to meeting Rin, so that part of you is so un-exercised you have absolutely no idea how to use it." The priestess took on an instructional tone. "When you first started learning about using a sword and the art of fighting, did the ability come naturally, or was it entirely taught?"

"I had a natural instinct for it; my father simply honed my skills."

Kagome nodded. "See, I think you have the instinct for comfort as well, but in this case it's a lot less developed and needs more effort for it to work smoothly. Give me a typical example of when you've tried to comfort Rin."

This felt so demeaning. Sesshomaru steeled himself and worked to keep total loathing out of his tone.

"When she tells me what is troubling her, I say something to hopefully ease her mind; if she seems better that is the end of the matter, and if she still appears troubled I ask her to tell me more."

The priestess made a slight gagging sound. "That's it? That's the extent of what you consider helping her? How often is this accompanied by you giving a caring pat or something?"

"Rarely."

The mortal girl seemed to be having an angry fit or something, but it passed in a few minutes and she became slightly calmer.

"In those moments, or even when you haven't been talking, do you have…do you feel any sort of urge or tug to reach out to Rin?"

Sesshomaru cast his thoughts to the past, recent as well as more distant. He didn't want to concede any point to Kagome, but he couldn't ignore the many times- whether it was because of something she'd said or done, or even just from looking at her after a while -he had wanted to make a gesture that he knew was a sign of affection towards Rin. Sometimes it was out of a desire to comfort, but other times it struck him when nothing was wrong: he just knew he wanted to hold her. Of course, he always outright ignored these feelings or talked himself out of pursuing them on the principle that he didn't understand humans and might offend the young woman by doing something inappropriate to the situation. Realizing he had not given an answer, the demon lord made a small nod; it was beyond him to verbally admit anything.

"That feeling is the instinct I'm talking about, the one that wants to show Rin how much you care," Kagome pressed excitedly. "I'm guessing you ignore it when it shows up?"

Another nod.

"That's where it gets tough, at least for you. When you feel that desire to _do_ , and not just say a few words and that's that, _you must follow through_. You're going to feel foolish and think you're wrong, but you have to commit yourself to perform the action and trust it's the right one."

Sesshomaru watched one hazy star twinkle in the distance. "I have no desire to offend her."

The priestess shook her head vehemently. "You won't. I'm telling you, your gut deep down has been trying all along to show you how to better take care of her, but you've been ignoring it and telling yourself all the reasons why it's wrong, but it's not."

The demon lord occupied himself with closely examining the Tenseiga's sheath. For some reason, he did not want to look at his companion just now.

"Why is this such a concern to you?" he asked quietly.

Kagome's voice became tender. "I know you want to take care of Rin as much as possible, and the path to that goal is through honing this instinct; not only will you feel you are truly fulfilling that role, but she'll benefit tremendously as well because it'll be easier for her to know how you mean your words when they're paired with an affirming action." She smiled. "It's a win-win situation all around."

When several minutes had passed and she had not been given any sort of response, the priestess stood and lowered herself over the roof's edge out of sight; the departure didn't seem to be an angry one, so perhaps she was not offended by the silence, but instead merely took it as a cue to leave. Sesshomaru wondered if he should have asked her about the strange feeling that was with him every day now, the one that he couldn't identify no matter how hard he tried; whatever it was, the feeling was entirely separate from instinct, though he suspected it could have a great influence on that instinct if he let it.

 _Perhaps if I follow Kagome's advice and let my inclinations out to roam more, this other feeling will be satisfied and leave me be at last._

It was worth the try, at least.

* * *

"Wow, Mom, I think you were right! I knew he cared about her, but I never would have guessed it was quite like that."

"It wasn't too hard to spot. I only had to talk with him a little bit before it became obvious."

"It's too precious for words. Do you think he'll listen to what I said?"

"You've planted the first seeds of an idea in his mind, even if he doesn't fully realize it. Given the right circumstances, I think they could be watered and begin sprouting before too long."

"I know I should feel slightly guilty, since I was motivated out of our rather conniving ulterior motive, but everything I said was true; I just didn't mention what really prompted me."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. When it comes to somebody like that, you have to resort to a little smoke and mirrors to get them on the right track."

* * *

It felt so good to breathe in the fresh air again. Rin tilted her face up towards the sun, eyes closed, drinking in the clean breeze and the warm rays. She'd had a wonderful time with Kagome and would never forget all the incredible things she'd gotten to see and do during their time together, but she had missed her own world.

"And I missed you, A-Un!" she exclaimed, leaning forward to hug the dragon's necks.

A-Un made a contented little roar. Rin hopped off the animal's back and trotted towards their leader; she almost stopped in her usual place behind him, but then remembered his insistence the other day that she walk beside him now. Still feeling a little nervous about occupying such a place of honor, she gulped but took the extra step forward.

"Lord Sesshomaru, how will Jaken ever find us? We've been back since yesterday, but I haven't seen a single sign of him."

"He always finds his way back to me," the tall demon replied. "His fear of failure knows no bounds when it comes to motivation."

The young woman relished the feel of cool green grass beneath her feet, as opposed to that hard stone she'd been walking on for the past week. She gave a contented sigh.

"I'm so glad to be back home. It seems so quiet now compared to all the noise in Kagome's era." She was quick to add, "I'm very grateful you thought to take me there; it taught me a lot."

Lord Sesshomaru nodded but did not reply. Rin swore he was watching her from the corner of his eye, as if sizing her up to ask a question, but if he was he apparently changed his mind. The day passed quite pleasurably without a cloud in sight, while birds twittered and frolicked through the air. Rin had restocked on all sorts of ninja food during their trip, so when dinnertime came that night she had a fresh array to choose from; she wondered if Lord Sesshomaru might enjoy any of them, considering he had ended up eating several corndogs at the amusement park (and a plate of cookies, according to Kagome's mother).

"Of all the things!" Kagome had laughed when she found out. "The great and powerful Sesshomaru…" she temporarily dissolved into giggles, "…the mighty demon likes junk food!"

Rin had failed to see what was so hilarious about this, but perhaps it was something only someone from Kagome's time could appreciate. The young woman now set about preparing her dinner, marveling at how quiet it was without a certain little imp around. Her mind couldn't help but dwell a little on the romantic setting: a crackling fire (though it was a small one for cooking, not warmth), the sunlight fading through the surrounding trees in a rosy glow, and no one else around except Lord Sesshomaru. She cast a covert glance at her companion seated a few yards away, watching as he stared off into the shadows and wondering what it was he thought about all the time.

 _Does he ever think about me?_

She knew her heart was already beating faster at the very thought; it thumped hard against her ribcage, threatening to leap into her throat and deny her breath.

 _Get ahold of yourself!_ she admonished, turning her attention back to making dinner. _If he ever does think of you, it certainly isn't the way you think about him. Stop teasing yourself with these silly daydreams and just let the idea go._

Rin did her best to follow her own orders, though it seemed her cup of noodles didn't taste quite so tantalizing as it normally would. She was almost glad a short while later to hear a lamenting voice cry out in the darkness.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" it sobbed. "Oh, where can you possibly be? Please don't have left me behind forever. I'm sorry I took so long! Oh please…."

There was an outburst of blubbering. Rin slurped up the last of her broth and sprang to her feet.

"Master Jaken!"

"Rin?!" came the startled reply.

"We're over here! Just follow my voice-"

The green imp exploded into the clearing, his eyes streaming with tears; he raced forward and actually clutched Rin's leg in what seemed to be genuine happiness.

"Oh Rin, I thought I would be wandering forever! I've been searching for days and days, but it was as if you had all vanished! I simply could find no trace…."

Lord Sesshomaru had stood up by now. Jaken saw this, gasped, and threw himself to the ground; he bowed over and over, his little body trembling with terror.

"Forgive me for taking so long, milord!" he squeaked. "A thousand apologies for not being quicker. I had no idea what had become of you, and no one could give me any word. I swear I left the swordsmith in record time."

"Did you succeed in your mission?"

Jaken hastily held up Rin's sword like an offering. "Totosai affixed a powerful crystal to the hilt. It enables the sword to emit highly destructive shockwaves to send enemies flying; if they don't hit something hard enough to break every bone in their body, they'll certainly be injured enough to allow for Rin to run away before they can move."

Lord Sesshomaru's golden eyes swept over the blade. "What if Rin is…that is, what if she can't reach her weapon? Will the sword do anything then?"

The green demon nodded quickly. "I made sure the swordsmith understood our needs. The whole key to Rin wielding this sword is her making a mental connection to the crystal- that's how she'll trigger the shockwaves. If it gets knocked away, all she has to do is think about it hard enough and it will come back to her."

Lord Sesshomaru handed the katana to Rin. "We will look into it further in the morning."

The young woman nodded, looking down at the weapon in her hands. For the most part it appeared the same, though the blade seemed sharper, but obviously there was a key difference: inset to the hilt there was now a blue gem about the size of Rin's thumbprint, the misty core gently swirling while emitting a soft glow. She wondered how in the world she was to make a mental connection with such a thing, and if such an action would hurt. Was the sword sentient now? Was there any way it could turn rogue? Just to be safe, when she went to sleep that night she tucked the weapon under A-Un's saddle.


	17. Chapter 16- A Glimpse Inside

**Chapter 16- A Glimpse Inside**

The next morning dawned clear and bright, and Rin dutifully trotted after her lord to a swaying meadow just beyond the forest eaves. It took no time at all for Lord Sesshomaru to discern the way the new sword worked, and after making sure his student was securely standing behind him he gave a hefty sideways cut to the air in front of him. A blue crescent of energy barreled forward from the blade, expanding as it travelled and spawning multiple cousins all around it until the shockwave crashed into an enormous boulder twenty yards away; the immovable rock was pulverized to dust instantly, and not a trace was left behind to show it had once graced the world. The demon lord then cast the sword as far as he could throw it, and after a moment he gazed in the direction the weapon had gone; immediately the katana zipped back to his hand, firmly set in his grip and ready to strike again.

"A good blade," Lord Sesshomaru declared after swiping it through the air a few times to hear the sharp edge cut the breeze. "I believe it will serve you well."

He handed the sword to Rin. The young woman glanced up at him, silently praying she did not look foolish.

"But how am I to wield it?" she asked in a small voice. "You can command any weapon you put your hand to, but I don't have that kind of power."

"Do you not feel the sword waiting for your command?"

Rin held the katana in a pre-strike stance, waiting to decimate any invisible enemy that might come too close. It just felt like she was holding her sword the same as always- nothing seemed any different about it. She waited a good minute, but nothing changed.

"It feels like it always does," she replied at last.

Lord Sesshomaru considered this. "I could feel its desire to serve when I held it," he mused. "I wonder if perhaps humans cannot sense such a phenomena; every sword I've ever used expressed some form of will to me."

"Do you think maybe a human can't wield a special blade?"

The demon shook his head. "Totosai knows you are human; he would not have outfitted the weapon with anything that required demonic power to activate it." He turned to his vassal. "Were any instructions given at all to indicate how Rin is to use the sword?"

Jaken looked terrified. "N-n-n-no, milord; he simply said she had to concentrate."

The two demons both turned their attention to the young woman expectantly. Rin gulped slightly but took a renewed grasp on the hilt and closed her eyes; she tried to clear her mind of everything around her, including the knowledge that she was being watched. She felt the familiar wrapped grip beneath her fingers, and appreciated the even balance of the blade. She bent all her focus on the weapon, remembering the faithful friend it had been to her over the years and listening for what it might now be trying to tell her; as hard as she tried, however, there was no sudden revelation or a growing warmth. She struggled to understand what exactly she was even waiting for, and after a few minutes she opened her eyes.

"I don't know how to do it!" she insisted, shame creeping up her neck.

"Come on, Rin," Jaken called in a surprisingly encouraging tone. "I know you have plenty of stubborn will; you can make that old thing do anything you want it to!"

She sent the imp an appreciative smile. Despite his words, she was still at a loss as to how she was supposed to communicate with a piece of metal; Lord Sesshomaru stepped closer, eyeing the offending weapon.

"Perhaps I can assist you."

He placed his hands over Rin's and held the sword with her. The young woman felt herself internally melting, and she tried her hardest to breathe normally; the demon closed his eyes and Rin did the same, wondering how in the world she was supposed to concentrate now.

"The sword accepts you as its master," Lord Sesshomaru intoned. "It wishes to prove itself worthy of you, as it failed the last time you had need of it."

"Oh, it's not its fault!" the girl exclaimed guiltily. "That was all on me; I didn't-"

"Nevertheless, it is eager to redeem itself. It is ready for you to invoke its power."

Rin opened one eye. "How are you possibly getting all this? Does it talk to you?"

Lord Sesshomaru remained still. "It is intuitive; it's like a telepathic conversation, though there are no actual words." He tightened his grip a little. "Concentrate, Rin. Feel the sword with your mind, not your hands."

 _This is crazy._

She tried to do as instructed. Her mind was as open as it could be to any external influence, senses on high alert for anything trying to touch her consciousness. An untold length of time passed by, and despite her efforts Rin's mind began to wander more to the details of her nearby companion. His hands were surprisingly warm, totally enveloping hers in his grip and holding them upright between their bodies; they were so close she could touch him if she bent her head forward enough…. What was that? For a split-second Rin felt something like a feather brush by the edge of her mind, but when she turned her attention to it the thing faded away like a dream. Lord Sesshomaru began to unlock his fingers.

"You felt it; I sensed your contact."

The young woman opened her eyes to the surrounding world again. She stared down at the sword, wondering why it had danced away from her just as she came near.

"You're trying too hard," Lord Sesshomaru explained, turning towards the rest of their traveling party. "You're so focused on looking for what's new and different about the sword, you're completely overlooking the very weapon itself; you need to relax more and let it come to you."

 _So, I'm supposed to concentrate and relax at the same time? How do I do that?_

Rin got to spend the next few days trying to do just that. Lord Sesshomaru still conducted their normal morning lessons, but once the practice was finished and the group was ready to move on, he had the young woman ride A-Un for at least the next hour to try and connect with her sword; she wasn't allowed to talk or dismount or anything else, but could only sit and listen for the weapon to reach out. She wanted to please the demon lord more than anything, but she had to admit it was a pretty boring way to spend the morning. The brief moments where she thought she sensed the sword's will always came when her mind was distracted by something else, so she tried to duplicate this success by making a conscious effort _not_ think about her task; however, this appeared to have the same effect as when she bent all her thoughts purposefully _towards_ the weapon, so she seemed to be no better off no matter which approach she took.

One morning before anyone else was stirring, Rin snuck away to try a different method. They had passed over a river the previous night shortly before making camp, and within ten minutes she had now traced her way back to it. The dawning light was just beginning to sparkle on the mirrored surface, bouncing off the playful current to cast dancing patterns on the rocks and overhanging trees. The young woman carefully waded into the cold water, making sure not to splash even the teeniest bit; the river was a good deal colder than she had expected, but she couldn't let that stop her. She waded out till the surface was almost level with her shoulders, and after a few deep breaths she let herself sink under.

The chilly water closed over her head, but there was no time to think about comfort right now. Rin held her sword out in front of her and let her eyelids drop, surrendering herself to the current and making every effort to simply exist- nothing more. There wasn't a single sound, not even a bird chirping in the distance or A-Un's muffled clunking through the grass; there was only cool darkness, surrounding her and holding her aloft in a fluid void. The seconds ticked by, and when her lungs could stand it no longer the young woman stood up and broke through the surface. She looked down at the glowing gem in the hilt with some frustration: she hadn't felt a single twinge anywhere in her consciousness.

 _I'm not giving up that easily,_ she thought at it with a glare.

Rin lost track of time as she pushed herself underwater over and over, willing her mind to let go of all worries, distractions, and anything else that could possibly be blocking her reception. For two terrifying seconds she managed to think of literally nothing, her inner vision nothing but a black expanse, and the breath-sucking fear that clutched her heart from glimpsing such totality was so intense she scrambled up and had to take several minutes to recompose herself. On her next dive she returned to the idea of concentrating all her might and attention on the sword, but this still yielded no results.

"Maybe my brain needs a dose of panic to kick it into gear," she mused aloud, thoughtfully regarding the swirling current.

Yes, a rush of fear might be just the thing. Rin took a deep breath and plunged again, staying calm and motionless in the watery blanket; she could go a long time without air, but eventually her chest began to burn a little in the center. She ignored the sensation and tightened her grip on the sword. Her lungs began to ache, but she stubbornly stayed right where she was, hoping the fact her head was growing lighter meant the weapon was about to make contact; her chest was screaming now, and as the lightness in her head turned to fuzz she realized she could go no further.

Before she could propel herself off the rocks below, a hand latched onto the back of her kimono and yanked her straight up till her feet were dangling above the water. Rin took in a great wheezing gulp of air and coughed; she'd never been happier to feel the breeze on her face, even though it was chilling her to the bone now that she was all wet. She didn't have to glance down to know that she was on the receiving end of an intensely disapproving glare, but she couldn't resist trying to make light of the situation.

"Care for a swim, Lord Sesshomaru?" she asked in a small voice.

"And just what did you think you could achieve by drowning yourself?" the demon demanded, his arm rigid as a board.

"I uh, I thought I could make better sense of things if I was in a totally quiet environment."

Lord Sesshomaru stalked through the water and did not set Rin down until they were on dry land; his golden eyes had a furious light in them, and the young woman wondered if she'd gone too far this time.

"Have you learned nothing from the past? You could have been attacked, or hit your head and drowned, or any other number of things; it's as if you're _trying_ to get yourself killed."

There was such anger in his voice! Rin hung her head, suddenly feeling very foolish indeed.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" the demon lord pressed.

His eyes were boring holes in the top of her skull, she was sure of it. She could feel his seething rage emanating off him in waves, and she thanked her lucky stars he only ever raised his voice when he was displeased with her- it was a thorough enough beating all on its own.

"I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru," she said with penitent sorrow. "I guess I'm not as grown-up as I thought I was."

" _That,_ " the demon sneered, "is painfully obvious."

He may as well have slapped her, like he did Jaken on an almost daily basis. Rin tried to smother the sound that welled up unbidden in her throat like that of an injured puppy, but she suspected she only partially succeeded. In mortal embarrassment she turned and stumbled over the bank of white pebbles toward Jaken and A-Un, who were awkwardly trying to look at anything other than the scene before them; the young woman grabbed up the dragon's reins and began to walk beside him, pressing the side of her face against his scaly neck to hide as much of her tears as she could.

* * *

The day passed in almost complete silence. Twice, Jaken made a little comment in an attempt to lighten the black mood hovering over the train, but he was met with such stony muteness he refrained from trying any further. Rin didn't bother with the futile sword practice, but instead continued to miserably plod alongside the dragon. She hated disappointing Lord Sesshomaru in any capacity, but to hear him so viciously affirm her failure was just soul-crushing; it was one thing to feel less than perfect and yet have the demon point out where she had still done well, but it was another matter entirely for him to not make even the slightest effort to soften the blow. She still didn't think it was so unreasonable for her to have wanted some time alone to practice, but considering her track record with terrible things happening when she was alone she should have at least told him she was going.

 _After everything I've gone through, I'm somehow still too trusting of the world to be as cautious as he wants me to be._

It seemed the hours would never end. Rin glumly watched the back of Lord Sesshomaru's head for any sign of him relaxing his position, but he was still walking like an iron rod was fastened to his back. Should she go to him and apologize again? She shook her head after only a moment's consideration; no, it would simply fall on deaf ears right now. He interpreted her running off earlier as a sign of disrespect towards his authority- it was her way of saying she didn't need his protection, and that she thought he was being overbearing by insisting he always knew where she was.

 _At least,_ the young woman thought with some hesitancy, _I think that's how he took it._

She shrugged sadly. There was no point trying to assign any deeper meaning to his reaction: she had disobeyed him and he was furious, plain and simple. She sighed and watched the horizon in a resigned manner. How long before he let her into his good graces again? It had been a while since anything negative had happened between them; did she wait this out, or was she expected to grovel some first? As a general rule Lord Sesshomaru seemed to have no desire for Rin to lower herself to groveling, but there was always a first time for everything…the young woman blinked. Was it her imagination, or had he turned to look at her for a moment? She swore his face had been a mask of nothing but regret, but the glimpse had been so brief she wasn't sure.

 _Probably just wishful thinking…._

The daylight slowly oozed away, but it still seemed like a thousand eternities before they finally came to a halt for the night. Rin went about her routine mechanically, daring to peek every now and then between her bangs to see if Lord Sesshomaru was paying her any attention, but every time she looked he was merely gazing at the same rock; she sat down on a log with her dinner and bruised feelings and turned away from him. He was her hero, and the only being she would ever love this much- why did he have to treat her like this? She had accepted the blame and apologized, so why was he taking so long to acknowledge it? A sob bubbled somewhere inside, and she fought to keep it suppressed; she was determined to not cause a scene.

Not long after that, Rin retired for the night without a single word to anyone. She felt a few tears trickle down her cheeks, but she stayed silent. Maybe in the morning Lord Sesshomaru would act like everything was fine again and end her agony; small though it was, she had the comfort of knowing he wouldn't hold this against her forever. The young woman hoped she would fall asleep quickly as usual, but tonight her mind would not quiet down. It replayed over and over all the times she could recall when she had messed up or said something foolish in her lord's hearing; above all, she kept seeing his face as he scowled down at her from his towering height, his words ringing in her ears. A few more tears squeezed their way out.

 _I'll only ever be a disappointment to him._

A fingertip barely touched her shoulder. Rin jerked away and rolled over to a sitting position fast as lightning, fists balled to pummel this intruder. Lord Sesshomaru was crouched there at her bedroll, and for a moment it almost seemed a wounded expression flickered across his countenance, but there was no way to know for certain.

"Forgive me!" the human gasped, lowering her hands as well as her gaze. "I thought you were a robber."

Lord Sesshomaru sat back on his heels. "You're still awake, I see; you normally fall asleep quite quickly."

Rin nodded. "I couldn't sleep."

Crickets chirped. Leaves overheard rustled in the light breeze, and somewhere in the underbrush a rodent let out a surprised squeak as it was snatched up by a larger predator.

"I am sorry for how I behaved towards you earlier," the demon stated. "I was too harsh."

If she'd had any food in her mouth, Rin would have choked to death then and there. With no small amount of effort, she kept her eyes on the ground and maintained a calm tone.

"You are too kind, my lord. I…I greatly appreciate such an apology, but I don't blame you for being so upset."

Lord Sesshomaru was firm. "I should never have to raise my voice to you."

The young woman sighed. "I showed disrespect towards you by sneaking off like I did. You expect complete obedience from those under you, and I didn't give it; of course, I wasn't trying to imply that I knew better, but ultimately that's what my actions said." She finally looked up. "I'm sorry…."

She lost the thread of her words. It was never but so easy to tell what Lord Sesshomaru was thinking due to his overall expressionless appearance, but in this moment the only word that fit the look on his face was 'incredulous.' He simply stared at Rin, blinking once or twice and seeming to honestly have no idea what to say.

"You think I was upset because you disobeyed me?" he asked slowly, settling to his knees.

"Er, why else would you be mad at me?"

Lord Sesshomaru gazed at her carefully, as if he were having to reevaluate whatever he had planned to say.

"Rin, you are not some servant to be reprimanded and sent on her way," he finally spoke. "I will admit it can be frustrating at times when I tell you to do or not do certain things and you forget or ignore them, but that is beside the point." The demon drew a long breath. "I was angry this morning because I didn't know where you were; trouble seems to follow you wherever you go, and for me to open my eyes and not see you anywhere…it's hard not to assume something has gone wrong."

Now it was Rin's turn to be caught off-guard. She mutely returned his gaze, having to make a conscious decision to not let her mouth hang open.

"You do not understand the trepidation I am faced with daily," Lord Sesshomaru continued gently, his eyes glowing warmly in the nearby firelight. "I have a fine line to walk: I do not want to infringe upon your personal freedoms and make you my prisoner, and yet I cannot help but declare some rules, which are meant solely for your good but may appear smothering to an extent. It was especially alarming today, considering recent events, and my desire to protect you just boiled over."

The young woman suddenly had a mental image before her of Lord Sesshomaru as a faithful guard dog, giving her a baleful howl because he had been more aggressive than necessary in order to keep her from hurting herself; his big puppy dog eyes assured her he had meant no real harm, that his overzealousness had stemmed from feelings of extreme concern, not anger. He was so adorably sweet and well-meaning at his core- she just wanted to cover him in kisses and tell him what a good boy, uh, demon he was.

"I don't give you enough credit," Rin declared. "I'm sorry I didn't see through to the deeper meaning of your frustration; I know you only want what's best for me."

Lord Sesshomaru shook his head. "I cannot expect you to always read my mind." He gave her a very slight smile. "You do so far better than most, but I should not rely on that talent every single day; I do not exactly make things easy for you." The demon's face took up its usual seriousness. "You are my greatest treasure, Rin; I can't help but want to do everything I can to protect you."

She simply couldn't satisfy her gratitude with saying a mere 'thank you.' Rin leaned forward and put her arms around Lord Sesshomaru's neck to give him a warm embrace; yes, she knew he disapproved of it and that he'd undoubtedly pry her loose in no time, but she didn't care- she had to let him know how much she appreciated his efforts. Four, five seconds ticked by, and he had yet to extricate himself from her grasp. Then, ever so slowly, she felt an arm carefully settle itself across her back, and another follow a moment later behind her shoulders; she wasn't completely sure at first, but the longer they stayed there the more convinced the young woman became that the arms were pulling her closer to Lord Sesshomaru.

Rin could hardly even process this information. He hadn't rejected her, _and he was embracing her in return?_ She must have fallen asleep after all. It was uncertain how long they held each other, but to Rin it seemed a lifetime, and yet also only a breath's length. At last Lord Sesshomaru let go and drew back; he watched her face silently for a time before briefly setting a hand to rest on her hair.

"You should try to sleep now."

The human girl nodded as he stood, her heart on a euphoric ride soaring right up into the heavens. She settled herself to bed in a dreamlike state, not even trying to hide the wide smile she knew was played across her lips; her sword was lying on the ground just in front of her, and unconsciously she gently settled her grasp around the hilt, as if to prove to herself that all of this was real. A strange sensation entered Rin's mind, and at first she had no idea what it might be. It was…an awareness, the distinct impression that there was a _presence_ of some kind in her mind, and yet not in an intruding or threatening way. It rested lightly on her thoughts like a thin blanket, but it was in no way trying to influence her- in fact, it seemed to be waiting for something. Rin focused more on the feeling, but it did not dissipate or run away, and suddenly she knew what it was.

 _Attack,_ she told it.

At the same moment the young woman brandished the katana forward, and she watched as a little blue crescent spun away from the blade into the air; the wave lasted for about three seconds before fizzling out of existence, but it was enough to prove her theory.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I did it!" Rin cried ecstatically, springing up from her bed. "I got the sword to work!"

The demon nodded from his place against a nearby tree. "So I see; we shall explore it further tomorrow."

"Oh, there's no way I'm falling asleep now," the girl assured him, running to the edge of the campsite. "I have to try this out some more." She stopped in her tracks and looked back. "If you approve…?"

Lord Sesshomaru rose from his seat and began to follow her. "I don't really need sleep; it is simply something to pass the time when we stop for the night."

"I can always sleep on A-Un's back, so you don't have to stop," Rin offered as she hopped over a fallen branch.

"I have a feeling that is not as comfortable a position for you now as it was when you were smaller."

The young woman grinned a little. "You have a point there."


	18. Chapter 17- Silent Lucidity

**A/N:** Any and all rights for this chapter's title belong to the band Queensryche. Some of the lyrics fit events in this chapter rather well.

* * *

 **Chapter 17- Silent Lucidity**

"Come on, Rin, you have to try."

"But Lord Sesshomaru, what if I actually hit you?"

"Trust me, you won't."

It was their morning sword practice. Since Rin's success in forging the necessary connection with her sword a few days ago, Sesshomaru was having her integrate the shockwave attacks into their fights; the waves were small and didn't last long, but he assured her they would grow stronger with time and practice. Sometimes the crescent of energy seemed to emerge almost reluctantly from the blade, and the demon knew she was holding back for fear of injuring him. He refused to resort to fear tactics in her training, however, and so for the moment he was unsure how to press her further.

"I have faced foes of enormous proportions and legendary power," he reminded her as he delivered a counterstrike that was expertly deflected. "You will not harm me."

Rin feinted a blow before spinning aside in an attempt to get behind her opponent. "I just don't feel right about it," she grunted.

Sesshomaru caught her off balance and sent her sword sailing away into the bushes. It was only a moment before the weapon was back in her hands, after which she performed a series of well-timed blows that probably could have disarmed a regular mortal.

"You aren't afraid to come after me with the sword itself. How is activating its power any different?"

The young woman dodged his next strike. "I know I'll never beat you in combat; the idea of sending out large waves of destruction sounds a little more risky."

Sesshomaru swatted her katana aside, stepped in close as he grabbed her wrists and backed her up against a tree. She was pinned fast, her right hand uselessly clutching the sword suspended above her head, her left held to the side where it couldn't possibly do any harm. Rin was breathing heavily from the exertion, her pupils dilated from the fright of knowing she had been out-maneuvered; she stared up at the demon unblinkingly, forgetting in the heat of the moment that this was practice and no harm would come to her. Sesshomaru stared right back, temporarily losing whatever his next thought had been. His mind was simply blank- he could do nothing but look at her, and he didn't even know why.

After a time his senses began to come back to him, and slowly he became aware of everything once again. He felt Rin's soft skin encircled by his own hands, her pulse pounding underneath his thumbs; he heard her ragged breath, and inhaled her sweet scent as the breeze stirred it anew. Slowly he loosened his grasp and lowered her arms, though he still hadn't fully let go, or yet looked away from her face. It was as if an enchantment had fallen upon them both, one that stole all words and rendered the afflicted almost paralyzed; the demon had never felt anything like it before, and he wasn't even sure from whence it came.

"Risks are inevitable, Rin," he finally forced himself to say with great effort. "Life will be much harder if you always play it safe."

She nodded silently, her eyes still fixed in the exact same place; a man could drown in those deep wells…. Sesshomaru tore his gaze away and let go of her wrists at last.

"We'll practice more tomorrow: too much time has passed as it is."

The demon lord mentally shook himself as he walked away, highly unsettled by what had just transpired. And what was it that had happened in the first place? One moment they had been battling as usual, and the next he was completely transfixed…helpless. Many an enemy had tried to cast a curse or spell on him over the centuries and none had ever succeeded, but _this_ had been potent; he half-fancied he had only been released on the whim of the caster, and the idea that he had not broken free of his own accord was dangerously close to frightening.

 _But I am invincible!_ he told himself. _There is no power that can hold sway over me, no being that can make me bend to his will._ He hesitated. _Not to that extent, at least._

He cast a secretive glance back at Rin, who was now perched on A-Un and staring numbly into the dragon's manes. She was the only one capable of having significant influence on him, but certainly she couldn't control him to that intense a degree; besides, she had clearly been subject to the same spell, so it couldn't have very well originated from her. Sesshomaru pondered this mysterious phenomenon thoroughly over the course of the day, and well into the next. When a ferocious demon leapt at him from the trees unexpectedly, he didn't stop his musings long enough to even savor the battle, but instead merely cut the creature down with one slash; Jaken's praises of such fine swordsmanship fell on deaf ears, and the event barely registered at all in the demon lord's mind.

Unfortunately, for all his exhaustive consideration, Sesshomaru came no closer to an answer. With no small amount of unease, he reluctantly set the incident further back in the recesses of his mind to ponder in the future- when he would hopefully have some new information. He then turned his thoughts to the upcoming task at hand. It had been some years since he had journeyed to the coast, but there was talk of several formidable demons in the region, and he was never one to shy away from heading straight into purported danger; it would do him good to face some different foes, and he was sure Rin would appreciate a change in scenery. Come to think of it….

"Have you ever seen the sea?" he asked the human trailing off to his left.

Rin shook her head. "I've heard tell of it once or twice. Does it really go on and on?"

"For a very long ways, yes. If you go far enough out you can lose sight of all land entirely."

The young woman shuddered slightly. "I can't imagine water that big."

Sesshomaru held a thorny vine out of her way. "You won't have to imagine it much longer."

Rin's eyes lit up. "That's where we're going?" she asked, clasping her hands together.

"Yes."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, dancing happily on the spot. "I've always wanted to see it."

There was a rustle in the bushes. A large gang of sun-hardened men stalked into view, all of them armed with rusty swords and crude clubs; they were filthy and missing a shockingly large number of teeth, and clearly had one thing on their minds: robbery.

"Gah!" a particularly ugly one exclaimed. "What kinda freakish creature are you? Do they have no sun where you come from?"

"The impudence!" Jaken predictably retorted. "How dare you insult Lord Sesshomaru's appearance. He is the finest example of demonic beauty if ever there was one!"

Sesshomaru looked aside to Rin. She was quite still, staring ahead at the men with something close to terror, but clearly fighting to maintain composure. Seeing her experience such distress was all the demon needed to be pushed into action, and he flicked his whip forward to lash several ankles. There was screaming and cursing, and the thugs brandished their weapons.

"You got a death wish, huh?" one of the largest snarled, curling his fingers tightly around his club.

"It was your intention to harm us, was it not?"

A general unintelligent murmuring of agreement responded.

"Then allow me to return the courtesy."

In less than a blink, Sesshomaru had used his whip to lacerate the faces of all the men in a crisscrossing pattern of blood, and vaporized one who tried to run away.

"You are never harming another human," he growled, pulling Bakusaiga back.

Rin caught his sword arm and held tight. "Lord Sesshomaru, don't." She nodded at the terrified faces before them. "Don't punish them for someone else's wrongdoing," she pleaded quietly.

The demon lord regarded her for a minute before turning his attention back to the robbers. They were all whimpering and choking on their own fear: they weren't even trying to defend themselves, knowing they were outmatched. Sesshomaru pointed his sword at them, and they cowered lower still.

"You would do well to heed my words," he finally stated. "Now go, before I change my mind."

There was a mad dash as the thieves all shoved at each other to get away as fast as possible. Several uttered hasty thanks in the process, and it suddenly seemed the vocal consensus of the group that robbery was something to never be attempted again; they were out of sight in a matter of moments, and Rin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, my lord."

"They did not deserve it," the demon declared, forcefully sheathing Bakusaiga.

"But they'll be better for it."

Sesshomaru said nothing and started forward once again. First he was held fast by an invisible force, and now he was showing mercy to vagabonds- what was becoming of him?

* * *

The great orange disk of the sun slowly sank away between the overhead leaves. Camp was made, and three of the four travelers ate their dinner with varied degrees of enthusiasm. No further mention was made of the thieves, and for all intents and purposes Rin seemed to have forgotten the incident entirely; Sesshomaru had been concerned that seeing such brutes would perhaps stir those memories she was striving so hard to forget, but her face was clear of all distress.

"Is your…meal to your liking?" the demon asked her for no particular reason.

The young woman's eyebrows knitted together slightly. "Yes, thank you."

"Ah," Sesshomaru responded, pressing his fingertips together repeatedly within his lap. "I simply wanted to check. You…" his brain struggled to think of more to say, "usually smile slightly more when you've found some berries."

How was he supposed to inquire after her emotional state? He'd promised to say no more of what had passed with those villains, but according to Kagome, Rin didn't really mind his asking.

"We should reach the sea in two or three days," he commented, wondering if this was what it felt like to be a particularly unintelligent human.

Rin set her food down and tilted her head in curiosity. "Lord Sesshomaru, is something the matter?"

The demon opened his mouth once or twice in an attempt to get an explanation out, but it seemed nothing wanted to come forward. At last he gave a very small shrug.

"I wanted to know you're all right."

The girl looked at him uncomprehendingly for a moment or two, and then light seemed to dawn on her mind. She gave him a sweet smile and shook her head.

"Oh, I see; that is very kind of you. I was frightened at first, but I firmly reminded myself that I was with you and you'd protect me, and then the fear faded away." She popped a berry in her mouth. "I promise it was nothing more. I really _am_ healing."

Sesshomaru quietly breathed a sigh of relief, once again grateful for Rin's intuition; she knew him so well in many respects, and it had often made uncomfortable situations or conversations much easier over the years. He nodded to her now.

"I am glad to hear it."

After finishing her meal, Rin spent a bit of time doting on A-Un. She brushed his manes, scratched behind his ears, and massaged his back where the saddle was usually placed; the dragon made several appreciative little roars, after which he shot Jaken a pointed look as if to say, "why don't you ever take care of me like this?" The green imp rolled his eyes and stalked toward the dark ring of bushes around them.

"I can't stand to see the ridiculous levels of pampering you subject that beast to, child!" he snorted. He bowed to their leader. "With your permission, milord, I would rather scout ahead a bit and make sure the way will be clear for us tomorrow from ruffians like those we encountered earlier."

"Aw come on, Jaken, you're just jealous," Rin teased. "I've told you before I'll rub your shoulders if you'd only ask."

The demon took a sharp intake of breath to blast out a retort, but Sesshomaru cut him off.

"Go."

The vassal hurried away into the night. Before long Rin began to yawn, and after giving A-Un a kiss atop each snout she crawled into bed; she was asleep almost instantly, as always- a fact that never ceased to amaze Sesshomaru. In his eyes, it took a lot of faith and trust in the world around oneself to immediately drift off without keeping watch for at least a while.

 _But, trust is something she does very well,_ he thought with no small amount of fondness. A frown crossed his brow. _Sometimes to her detriment._

Several hours passed. The fire was nothing more than a heap of gently glowing embers; now that the nights were consistently warm enough, there was no need to stoke the flames throughout the night. The moon was full overhead, illuminating the whole forest with a ghostly radiance that glinted on every leaf. Sesshomaru was debating if he should sleep to pass the remaining time before daybreak, but his thoughts were interrupted as his ears became aware of a faint whimpering. It was coming from the human's side of the camp. The demon lord silently stole across the grass and circled around to inspect his charge, wondering what could possibly be the matter. Rin was still asleep, but she was beginning to toss fitfully; her fists were clenched tightly around her blanket, and her facial features were drawn down sharply, as if she were in pain or great fear.

 _She's having a nightmare,_ the demon realized, recognizing the symptoms from the handful of times the girl had experienced them as a child.

Sesshomaru knelt down and gently shook Rin's shoulder, calling her name softly. After a minute or so the young woman opened her eyes, and she rubbed them into focus.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru, did I wake you?" she mumbled, still sleepy.

"No. Were you dreaming?"

Rin drew her blanket closer as she sat up. "Yes, I was." She glanced up guiltily. "I'm sorry to have distressed you."

The demon brushed her hair out of her face. "Don't be absurd." He looked at her with some hesitancy. "Would it help to talk about it?" he asked slowly.

She shook her head. "I don't think so. It…it was nothing new, just…" she sighed. "Just reliving what happened."

Sesshomaru's face hardened. Would this burden ever leave her? She had at last conquered her foes in the daylight, in her living moments, but her mind still ran rampant in the dark when she was helpless to stop it or control it; she was master as long as she was awake, but her subconscious wasn't ready to let the matter go.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Despite her recent dream, Rin smiled up at him in gratitude. "Thank you, but I'll be all right. It's over now."

So saying, she settled back down on her bedroll and stretched out to sleep once again. The demon lord returned to his nearby post, his eyes lingering on the still form beneath the blanket. If only he could enter her dreams with her: he would put an instant end to the ghosts that refused to leave her, and distract her with excursions to fantastic worlds that could exist only in the mind's eye. This power lay beyond him, unfortunately, and he must settle for caring for her in the real world. After a few minutes Rin's breath began to slow, and before much longer it was evident she was asleep once again; Sesshomaru had absolutely no desire to sleep now, and he stayed guard unflinchingly, daring nature to do anything that could influence the human's dreams. Thankfully it was a still night, without even a twilight-dwelling bird around to ruffle so much as a feather. As the moon began to set, the demon relaxed. Perhaps there was nothing to be concerned about, after all.

His conclusion was short-lived. Rin rolled back and forth once, twice, before letting out a small cry of anguish. Sesshomaru materialized in front of her, crouching at the ready but unsure what to do. He had thought waking her the first time would clear her mind and reset her dreams, but whatever her conscious thoughts were about the thugs from the day, her subconscious did not mirror them. If he woke her again, all he would accomplish was delaying the inevitable. She was curled into a tight ball now, her frown even deeper than before, her entire body trembling.

"No, _no_ ," she murmured, tossing again. "Please don't, no…." A sob escaped her. "Oh Lord Sesshomaru, where are you?"

If someone were to impale him then and there, it would not hurt a tenth as much as her words. They were a stinging reminder that he hadn't been there when these events happened in real life, that she had looked to him for salvation…and it had been in vain.

"If only I had been there," he sighed to her, sitting down heavily.

A thought entered his mind. It was true he could not change the past, but was it possible for him to change her dream now? He knew sounds and smells could influence a sleeper as much as their own inclinations and desires- who was to say he couldn't turn the tide and assure Rin's dream-self he had indeed come to her aid? Sesshomaru spread his mokomoko on the ground directly beside the young woman and laid on his side, propping himself up with one arm to better look at her. The remaining moonlight pooled on the strip of white fur between them, the reflected light throwing Rin's features into surprising clarity; there was such pain and fear, such hopelessness, and the demon felt the desire to rescue her burn anew within his being.

"Rin, I'm here," he spoke in a low voice. "They can't hurt you now; I will never let them touch you again."

Her countenance remained the same. Sesshomaru scooted a fraction closer and leaned forward slightly.

"I am with you. You called to me and I came; I will always come for you."

The young woman's frown lessened just a little, but she seemed ready to turn back and forth again. The demon lord reached out and took hold of her arm.

"Don't look at them, look at me."

She stopped trying to roll away.

"Rin, I killed them. They're _gone_. None of them will return."

Her face turned up towards his voice, like she would if she were awake and looking at him. She wanted to believe him; she wanted to trust he really was there and no further harm would come, but the dream was strong and trying to pull her back. Sesshomaru moved his grasp to her hand and set his other fingers against her cheek, stroking the delicate skin, tracing the corner of her eye where a lone tear hung.

"I will always protect you," he whispered emphatically, interlacing their fingers. "No matter what enemies may come, or how many of them there may be, I will always keep you safe." He squeezed her hand tightly. "I would die for you, Rin. You know that, don't you?"

She seemed calmer now. There was a semblance of peace on her face, and her frame wasn't nearly as rigid. The demon lord glanced at the black sky that hung over them; daybreak was still many hours away- would the nightmares return if he left her again? Sesshomaru felt an impulse nudge him somewhere in his chest, and at first he resisted its suggestion.

 _No, I won't do that. Holding her when she lay dying in a desolate hut was one thing, but in this way, and with that strange feeling that never leaves me…I may not want to let go._

He heard Kagome chiding him, telling him to stop smothering his instinct and to act on it, even when everything else told him to pull away. Rin's hand flexed in his, and the mysterious feeling that hadn't left his heart in months reverberated within him, overwhelming him with the desire to comfort her regardless of his personal misgivings. Sesshomaru carefully unwound their grasps and removed his armor, making every effort to remain perfectly silent; in that brief period of absence a shadow crossed Rin's face, and he felt validated to continue: she couldn't be alone tonight.

Slowly and cautiously, Sesshomaru slid the young woman from her bed to the mokomoko, pausing briefly when she made a noise of some sort. Once he was sure she was still asleep the demon lay down in front of her, no more than a palm's breadth away, his right arm curving underneath her waist. He ran his fingers through her hair, over her face, down her neck. His hand lingered behind her head, anchored in the silken strands, and for a long while he simply cradled her like that; he was sure the fear had left her entirely by now, and he felt her relaxation deepen the longer he held her. The nudge in his chest prompted him to take it further, and again he balked: carrying on in this manner seemed dangerously close to treating her as a lover. The intuition and the unidentified resident did not argue this point, but instead simply pressed him harder, reminding him of all the times he'd wanted to comfort Rin but didn't know how. How often had she made every effort to be of service to him in some way, even when she knew the situation was beyond her capabilities? Her loyalty and kindness were far more than he deserved- he owed her any help he could now render in her time of need.

Sesshomaru took a deep breath and closed the gap between them, pulling Rin to himself and circling her upper body with his left arm. He pressed her close, feeling his body naturally conform to hers as her heart beat steadily against his chest; he shut his eyes as he tucked her head under his chin, noting the pleasantly tickling sensation of her breath on his exposed skin. The demon tried to remember a time he had ever been more contented or felt this free, but it seemed there was nothing to compare.

"Rin," he said simply, holding her tighter still. "Dear, sweet Rin…."

She stirred. Sesshomaru froze, wondering if it was necessary for him to make a very hasty retreat to the other side of the clearing. There was an agonizingly long set of seconds where his heart refused to beat while Rin shifted, and his mind teased him with the possibility of her waking up and he hadn't moved. The young woman rubbed her head against his neck as if she were burrowing into him; her hands slid across his chest before meeting behind him, and after making a happy sigh she grew still. Sesshomaru gently kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes again.

"I will always be here, Rin. _Always_."

He let himself drift off to sleep then, his mind blissfully clear of concerns for what anyone would think, or of even what _he_ might think later on. That night, for the first time in eons, the demon lord dreamed. Surprisingly, it wasn't about glorious battles, or surpassing his father in greatness, or possibly knocking the senses out of his little brother; it was a simple image of him holding a mortal girl in his arms on a moonlit night, their hearts beating as one. As the sun rose the next morning and Sesshomaru opened his eyes to look upon the angel still sleeping beside him, he knew it was a dream he'd cherish forever.


	19. Chapter 18- The Song of the Sea

**Chapter 18- The Song of the Sea**

As they walked along the well-worn dirt road which was gradually taking on a sandier consistency, Sesshomaru mulled over his actions from the previous night. Contrary to what he had expected, he did not feel any guilt or regret: great confusion, yes, but he was astoundingly confident that he had done the right thing. Shortly after he had drawn away, Rin had awoken this morning with a smile and a declaration that her nightmares had abruptly ceased, and she had a feeling they would not be back. The demon lord carefully inquired what made her think this, and with a slight blush the girl simply responded she 'just knew.'

 _But why do I feel no shame? Yes, I know I helped her, but I've always despised myself any time I've done anything I associate with behaving more like a human._

Not only was he pleased with his decisions, but he even found himself wishing he had the opportunity to embrace Rin in such a manner again. Sesshomaru could recall many moments where he'd wanted to hold her, just for the sake of feeling her close, but he always managed to convince himself it was a useless action and would serve him no purpose; last night had finally shown him- after so many centuries of wondering -why humans enjoyed and sought out being physically close to someone they cared about. He hadn't expected to benefit from his desire to chase away Rin's evil dreams, but now he saw that he had (unknowingly) needed her as much as she needed him. There was something unexplainably comforting in wrapping himself around the young woman, holding her so close they were as one, and simply letting all the world fall away to solely focus on _her_. Somehow, it made him more whole.

Regrettably, however, the demon lord saw no way for such an opportunity to come about again- not in such a way that wouldn't be very awkward to explain. Despite his incredibly limited knowledge of love and the countless ways it was expressed across the myriad of species, even Sesshomaru knew that a member of one sex asking another to lie in their arms was a key component to many of the rituals. Such a request would no doubt confuse and terrify Rin, as it would be so out of character, and he had no wish to upset her. The idea of not getting to experience that intimate embrace again was surprisingly sorrowful, and the demon half-wondered if perhaps he _should_ find some way in the future to tactfully bring the subject up….

"Why does the air have such a salty tang to it?" Rin inquired curiously, pointing her nose in several directions to ascertain the source.

"The sea has a great amount of salt in it."

The young woman stared at him incredulously. "Why in the world is that?"

"Humans have come up with a number of legends about it, but I doubt anyone knows the actual truth; it is one of nature's mysteries."

Jaken poked his head around the bend just before them. "There you are, milord! I thought you'd be coming soon; I've made sure the way is clear of any trivial personages to guarantee your speedy arrival at our destination."

Sesshomaru saw the little demon pause as he scuttled past Rin, sniffing at her several times as if he detected something different in her scent, but he shrugged and hurried to grab a seat on A-Un's available back. The silver-haired demon had wondered if the imp might notice his master's scent entwined with the human's, but it seemed the vassal's nose was not sharp enough to distinguish the change. The trees grew further apart, and before long the party was tramping through a field of tall swaying grass that stretched out far to either side; the ground rose slightly beneath their feet as they went on, and Sesshomaru knew they were close. He had purposefully chosen this approach because of the unexpected and dramatic change in scenery that lay just ahead- he knew Rin would be caught off-guard.

"What's that roaring sound?" the human asked.

No one answered her. Another hundred yards or so passed, and right on cue the young woman let out a gasp as the first white caps miles away on a field of deep blue came into sight. She ran forward a few paces before her tall companion put an arm out to stop her.

"Watch where you're going, Rin," he warned in a kind voice.

The land abruptly dropped away just beyond their feet, forming part of a long line of cliffs. Far below, a massive jumble of enormous rocks provided the jagged base for the looming edifice; beyond those was a wide bar of golden sand that almost shimmered in the sunlight, and from there….

"The sea," Rin breathed in awestruck wonder.

It was a restless, undulating blanket spread across the horizon as far as the eye could see. Waves rose up far in the distance, gathering speed but seeming to die away after a time, only to rise up again in a few moments bigger and stronger than before; on and on they churned, growing more powerful every time they reemerged from the deep, until at last they crashed into the shore with a pounding force that could be appreciated even from this vantage point. Rin swallowed hard, turning to regard Sesshomaru.

"It's…it's beyond massive," she choked out. "Does it ever stop moving?"

The demon shook his head. "Never."

"How are we going to get down?"

Sesshomaru gently put his arm around her supportively. "Like this."

He jumped. He made sure to control his descent so the speed would not be too terrifying, but Rin still squeaked with fright and held onto his kimono for dear life. They touched down on the soft sand, the young woman clutching a hand to her chest and breathing hard; she watched Sesshomaru with a wild-eyed expression for several minutes, desperately trying to get air back into a normal flow, but finally a smile began to curve across her face.

"That," she panted, "was beyond exhilarating."

Sesshomaru allowed himself a small smile in return. "Perhaps we'll try it again, sometime."

* * *

"He's been gone an awfully long time…."

"Nonsense. Lord Sesshomaru always spends his time exactly as he needs to, so if he's not back he must have a very good reason."

Rin rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying he's late or anything like that; I just know it's been hours since he left."

Jaken shrugged and became distracted by a scuttling crab. It was the second day since they had arrived at the beach; Lord Sesshomaru had left early this morning to seek out his foes, leaving Rin with his vassal and the dragon. The young woman longed to explore this new territory, but she found herself strangely frightened, which was usually the last thing she felt when given the chance to run off alone. She couldn't help thinking about all the recent times she had caused Lord Sesshomaru some form of distress or trouble, and her charging off into the great unknown was the perfect setup for something similar to happen. It was frustrating to be trapped here with the blathering Jaken, and though A-Un was a very sweet creature, he could not really offer much of an alternative conversation.

 _Lord Sesshomaru specifically said he didn't want me to feel trapped, though,_ she reminded herself, casting another wistful glance at her surroundings. _He wants me to enjoy myself; I'm just supposed to be more careful and think ahead._

Should she dare? The imp let out a cackle as he caught the wandering crab, and he had that look in his eyes that always came on when he had the opportunity to eat a rare treat. Not at all interested in watching Jaken devour the helpless crustacean, Rin pushed herself off the plush sand and took a few cautious steps forward. The demon didn't even notice, and the young woman set off at a leisurely pace, mindful to keep a healthy distance between herself and the roaring ocean. Ever since she had first heard of the great sea she had wanted to behold in person its grandeur and majesty, but to her surprise it wasn't the wonderful experience she thought it would be; instead, it struck her as a terrifying creature that wanted to swallow her alive and plunge her to unfathomable depths, never to return. It took all her resolve to not turn back and run as fast as her feet would carry her to safety beside A-Un.

Rin let her vaguely jelly-like steps drift closer to the rocks, though she still walked parallel to the water. She attempted to distract herself with imaginings of what Lord Sesshomaru must be up to right now. There were whispers that the demons of this region were forming a coalition, and it seemed their aim to eventually extend their reach well into lands that clearly belonged to the great dog demon; so, Lord Sesshomaru had come to break the alliance and those within it before they had a chance to grow any stronger. Jaken had loudly bemoaned the announcement that he was to stay behind with the human, but a sharp rock to the head seemed to change his tune pretty quick.

The young woman cast a glance behind her, and though she could still make out the little demon's overall shape he was definitely close to becoming no more than a speck in her vision. With a sigh Rin turned and began to head back, wondering where her usual bravery was hiding. The child in her was itching to run through the surf and try to kick back the waves, as if she could hold them away from the shore, but the rest of her had no desire to draw any closer to that frothing animal. A little ways ahead she spotted some of the stuff Jaken called seaweed; A-Un devoured the stringy plant as if it were the best thing in the world, and Rin wondered if she should gather some for him. The ocean was at low tide right now, providing an ample harvest strewn about the damper section of sand that had been underwater that morning- but even so, it meant walking closer to the waves.

 _Don't be such a coward,_ the girl chastised inwardly. _It won't come up for easily another hour. You won't even be touching it._

She cautiously let her path stray to the left, her toes squishing through the mud-like sand. A number of green clumps were soon gathered in her arms, soaking the front of her kimono from the waist down. Rin saw just ahead another line of seaweed, but this one was so long it stretched all the way back into the ocean. Just how big could this plant get? The young woman gingerly stepped over the water-dwelling vine, but somehow her foot still managed to sink right into the middle of it a moment later.

 _How is that even possible…?_

The seaweed snapped around her lower leg in a vicelike grasp, and suddenly she was being dragged toward the water. Rin screamed, frantically trying to draw her sword as she rolled and bounced. She saw the waves rushing closer and her mind froze, her body paralyzed while her thoughts could focus solely on the watery maw opening before her. There was a flash: the tentacle was severed, and she was securely tucked between an arm and a firm body, her heels hardly touching the ground as she was pulled all the way back to the cliffs. Lord Sesshomaru set her on a rock and gave his usual visual inspection that always came after he'd rescued her from harm.

"I promise I was being careful!" Rin burst out. "I made sure to keep Jaken within sight and was headed back when that…that thing grabbed me."

"I believe you," the demon assured her as he snatched the limp vine from her ankle. "I was just returning from-"

He halted and turned back. The ocean was beginning to bubble and boil angrily, and before long a green ridge surfaced several miles out. It rose, up and up and up, until red eyes as big as houses appeared, followed shortly by wicked sharp yellow fangs; it was a gargantuan sea serpent, though it had multiple waving tentacles running along its scaly body, making it resemble a millipede in some respects. Lord Sesshomaru gave Bakusaiga a flourish.

"Ah, the other side of the pact. I was going to deal with him tomorrow, but I guess he's just eager for death."

He took flight and shot through the air, and an instant later the serpent only had one row of tentacles left. The beast let out a screeching hiss and sprouted some new appendages. Rin drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, watching a tiny white figure weave in and out among the darting green whips. Apparently Lord Sesshomaru didn't want to end things right away; he seemed to enjoy prolonging his battles from time to time, taunting his enemy and angering them all the more so they'd fight even harder, which only served to increase the challenge for him- though the girl knew he used the term 'challenge' very loosely, as no opponent offered him any _real_ source of danger or difficulty.

He was lithe and graceful as a dancer, but deadlier than any warrior on the face of the earth- mortal or otherwise. As she watched him spin and dive, clawing here and there just to tease, Rin's thoughts shifted to the dream she'd had the night before last. She was being violated by those horrid savages once again, their faces hovering overhead like ghoulish masks; her hope was gone, her strength sapped, but then she heard a rich baritone voice speak her name close by. Kenichi and his men instantly vanished, evaporating like smoke, and the surroundings shifted to the old familiar meadow near Kaede's village. Rin stood and turned around, expecting to see nothing, like that time when she was at the brink of the underworld but she had heard him nonetheless.

That was not the case this time. Lord Sesshomaru was there, wreathed in light, his eyes fixed solely on her. He had been in her dreams plenty of times in the past, but there had always been a vaguely unreal quality to him then; he stood before her now with outstanding clarity, as real and tangible as he would be in real life. He took Rin in his arms and held her close, whispering sweet assurances that all was well and she need never fear the past again; he promised to always be with her, and that he would die for her if necessary.

 _That last part was a bit much, Imagination,_ Rin laughed at herself. _You do like to get so melodramatic when you have the chance, don't you?_

He'd cradled her against him for the longest time, his grasp so tender and loving. By the time Rin was awake she honestly could no longer recall the facial details of the rogues, and she knew in her heart they were never coming back to haunt her again. It had been the most beautiful dream she'd ever had, and she nearly thanked the real Lord Sesshomaru before catching her tongue and saving herself from great embarrassment. A particularly loud snap of a certain whip pulled her mind back to the present. The demon lord was still at it, pushing his foe's patience to the limit and no doubt enjoying every second of it. The serpent came at him with flailing tentacles and acid spewing from its mouth, but of course it couldn't land so much as a scratch.

The minutes passed by unheeded while the battle raged on, with Jaken screaming praises till his voice was raw and Rin joining him in silent admiration of their skilled leader. For the briefest of moments the sea creature's enormous eyes passed over Rin, and she shuddered- there was an intelligence behind that gaze, not just brute force, and she swore malevolence gleamed within the red orbs when they saw her. Several things happened then: there was a familiar wet grasp on her leg, a tug much sharper than before, and by the time she'd blinked once Rin was surrounded by murky depths. She'd been pulled into the ocean! She swept her arms and legs out, but there was nothing to grasp; the tentacle was still wound tightly around her leg, dragging her deeper still. The water was quickly growing frigid, and the salt stung her eyes so badly she couldn't see a thing.

Rin fumbled blindly before getting a firm grasp around her sword hilt. She tucked her legs underneath to avoid amputating herself before hacking downward, and the grasp was loosened. The young woman swam to what she assumed was upwards, trying not to think about how little breath she'd managed to take in before being consumed by the waves. Her arms were getting heavy, and her katana felt like a deadweight. Another tentacle materialized around her throat, squeezing viciously until her mouth was forced open and she involuntarily sucked inward. The deadly sensation of water seeping into her lungs was beyond terrifying, but Rin didn't even have the strength to swing her sword at the invisible strangler.

 _I love you, Lord Sesshomaru,_ her fizzling mind gasped out.

* * *

She was speeding through the air, though her body was no longer capable of breathing in the wind swirling around her. She didn't recall this flying sensation from the previous times she'd been taken by death, but maybe drowning had a different effect on the spirit as it left the mortal world. Something like an explosion sounded behind her, but her eyes seemed covered, as if a cloth were pressed over them. Her frame tilted back- she was lying on soft, sticky ground, and a hand was pressing over and over against her chest. Were the keepers of the netherworld trying to expel the water from her? Strange that it should still be inside her….

"Come on, Rin, come on!"

 _Wait…._

Her eyes flew open, and suddenly she was doubled over on her side, spewing salty water in a flood while trying to simultaneously inhale. This resulted in coughing and choking as the liquid continued to pour out of her mouth, and a hand hit her back in an effort to assist. Right as she thought she was going to pass out, Rin managed to get an unadulterated breath in, and she felt the fog in her mind begin to clear. Still coughing, she rolled onto her back and looked up at Lord Sesshomaru; he was completely sopping wet, his long hair spilling around her like a curtain as he hovered just above. The young woman opened her mouth in an attempt to speak but could only cough, and the demon pressed a finger against her lips.

"Don't try talking, you crazy girl." He peeled away a strand of her hair that had plastered itself against her neck. "I didn't dare use Bakusaiga once he'd grabbed you; I didn't know if the tentacle still had you."

Lord Sesshomaru gazed at her for a minute; it almost seemed like he was resisting some external force, his shoulders shaking just the slightest from the effort. At last he gathered Rin up in his arms and sat on the sand, holding her close and patting her back whenever she started coughing again. His grasp was such Rin couldn't really move her arms enough to return the embrace, but she settled her head on his shoulder to show her appreciation.

"Forgive me," Lord Sesshomaru said with a trace of hoarseness. "I…I could not find you for the longest time. The monster redoubled his efforts once he had you, so I was trying to avoid his attacks, but I couldn't even risk clawing him in half for fear the body would crush you…."

Rin managed to move one arm enough to place a hand on his side. "It's okay."

Her voice was raw from the salt. Lord Sesshomaru drew back and sized up the human before him.

"We must get you dry, and something hot to drink: you're shivering terribly."

She hadn't even noticed. Before she could protest, the demon had picked her up and was carrying her toward their campsite. Rin couldn't put her finger on it, but something seemed different from when he'd carried her in the past; he'd always been gentle, but now his grasp felt somehow even more caring, and she was close enough to feel his muscles flex as he moved.

 _He must have thought he'd really lost me this time._

There was much fussing over the young woman for the remainder of the day. Jaken must have made her at least four cups of tea, and Lord Sesshomaru kept changing out her blanket if he felt even one spot of dampness after a few minutes. Rin obeyed orders and stayed huddled by the fire, suppressing a smile whenever either of her nurses renewed their declarations of concern. It was so endearing to see them behaving in this manner. By sunset the human had to assert herself a little and insist she could do things herself now; Lord Sesshomaru very reluctantly allowed this, but his eyes were ever on her for the first sign of fatigue or anything else. As twilight descended further and Rin showed no sign of suddenly falling ill, the demon lord seemed to relax somewhat- he even tried a potato chip when she offered it.

"Interesting," he commented. "It reminds me a little of a snack I had often as a young child." He wiped the remnant oil of the chip from his fingertips. "I'm sorry this had to be your first experience with the ocean; it seems like something you would normally enjoy."

"I tried to enjoy it," Rin promised, popping another chip. "I wanted to explore some earlier, but I lost my nerve after a while."

Lord Sesshomaru tilted his head to the side slightly in a silent question.

"It seemed rather dangerous for me to go off on my own; I really am trying to be more responsible like you want."

The demon lord tossed another branch into the fire. "Rin, what I said that time about you still being a child…I didn't mean it. You _are_ still innocent in many ways, most of which I am very grateful for, but where it counts the most you are wise beyond your years. Overall you are a very mature young woman, and I could not ask for a more responsible and reliable companion." He watched the flames dance higher. "Don't let words I said in anger restrict who you are."

Rin nodded. "I understand, and I even told myself that." She gave a shrug. "It just didn't seem like something I should do alone."

Lord Sesshomaru glanced at the rising moon. "We still have the full moon, and there isn't a cloud to be seen." He rose to his feet. "Would you venture out if you had someone with you?"

The young woman felt a grin steal over her. "Yes, I would."

The yellow disc just above the horizon lit their way, glinting off the rocks and the waves from seemingly all directions. Now that she had someone with her, the sea didn't appear quite so menacing as it had before, but Rin still kept her distance from the water's edge. She and her companion talked about this and that for a long while, but finally Lord Sesshomaru turned the conversation to her obvious avoidance of the waves.

"That serpent was the only one of his kind in these waters. There isn't another one within a hundred miles of here."

Rin thought about that for a minute. "Funny enough, I don't think that's the problem," she answered at last, giving a short ironic laugh. "I felt like this even before the serpent appeared."

The demon frowned. "Then, what is the problem?"

The girl turned the matter over in her mind, trying to put her feelings into words. It took a while for her to even know what she was feeling, but eventually she pieced it together.

"It's just so big," she said simply. "I've always loved water, and I've never been afraid of it, but this," she waved her hand in an encompassing manner, "the sheer power of this much water in one place is incredible, but terrifying."

Lord Sesshomaru considered this carefully. "It is the size that concerns you?" he reiterated.

"Yes. It's _so much bigger_ than me, and it would be so easy for it to swallow me up…."

Rin realized Lord Sesshomaru was no longer walking beside her. She turned aside and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw a giant dog in his stead; he was even bigger than she remembered from the last time he transformed. The demon lord regarded the human for only a moment before continuing on in their walk as if it were perfectly natural. When a few seconds passed by it hit Rin she still wasn't moving, and she quickly trotted after her now much furrier companion. For the next few minutes, the only sounds she heard were the crashing waves and very large paws padding across the sand; she made herself look at the ocean for an extended period of time, focusing on the warm presence she felt just out of sight, and at last she nodded.

"You're right," she said, as if commenting on something that had just been spoken. "It doesn't seem nearly as big now."

How could it, when she had a dog as big as a mountain right beside her? She smiled fondly up at the canine face so high above her, and she knew he was pleased. They walked in silence for a very long way after that; Rin wished Lord Sesshomaru could talk in his dog form, but if he could she'd never heard him do it once. The sand continued to stretch before them endlessly, and the girl began to wonder if it ever ended. She didn't care how long they walked, of course: she was just happy to be spending time with this mighty demon who deigned to transform into his revered battle form simply for her peace of mind. Rin's confidence increased enough as they went along for her to let a wave touch her foot; it didn't somehow magically suck her in, and a short while later she was walking in the surf's path, the water rhythmically caressing her feet every other step. She gave a contented sigh.

"Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru. This is much more how I always imagined I'd feel."

There was no reply, obviously. After a few minutes, Rin became aware that Lord Sesshomaru was drifting closer to her, and she hastily moved over a little more into the water. The demon lord made a very small non-threatening growl, seeming to veer toward her again, and again the girl moved aside till she was almost knee-deep in the sea.

"I'm going, I'm going," she declared good-naturedly. "I remember your little talking-to from last time; I won't touch you."

Lord Sesshomaru stopped and made another little growl before motioning with his head for Rin to stand in front of him. The young woman obeyed, wondering what she was expected to do. The great dog lowered himself to the sand till he was lying on his belly, and then slowly settled his head down on his outstretched forelegs; his large eyes stared at his companion in an expectant way.

"What is it?" Rin asked helplessly, totally at a loss as to what he wanted.

Lord Sesshomaru picked up one paw, holding it in front of the girl for a few seconds, and then with measured cautiousness so as not to knock her over, he barely touched her face. The young woman couldn't hide her astonishment.

"You…you want me to pet you?"

The dog blinked.

Rin was going to protest, but suddenly she realized her hands were already reaching out of their own accord. She forced herself to pause, looking at the red eyes watching her every move; as if tired of waiting for her, the dog demon moved his head a fraction of an inch and brought his fur into her hands. Rin stroked the soft, silky coat tentatively at first, but gradually became sure enough to take a step closer and rub more thoroughly; she couldn't see it because of the enormous haunches blocking the way, but she was sure she heard the thump of a tail being wagged. The petting continued for several minutes- with Rin simultaneously enjoying it and trying to figure out what had possessed her lord -and then Lord Sesshomaru stood up. He regarded the comparatively tiny being at his feet with an unreadable gaze, and then without warning he scooped her up onto a paw and flicked her high into the air.

Naturally, Rin let out a terrified scream at this turn of events, shutting her eyes tight as her ascent peaked and she fell back towards the earth. There were a heart-stopping few seconds of simply falling, and then she was sitting on something very soft. She opened one eye, then the other, and realized she was perched atop the head of a dog that she swore was chuckling to himself; what was more, he was flying. Rin anchored her hands in his fur and looked around wildly, watching as they rose higher into the night sky until she could no longer make out the details of the cliffs or distinguish the individual waves from the ocean. True to what had been said, the water simply went on without end before them, flat as the sky and every bit as vast.

Lord Sesshomaru hovered for a time, apparently wanting to give his rider time to take in the view. Then he began to descend, slowly at first, but he steadily picked up speed and angled himself steeper; if Rin had not clung to him so tightly she surely would have slid right off. They plummeted toward the sea, as if they were going to dive right in. The young woman knew better than to scream some sort of question regarding his sanity, but that didn't make her any less concerned. Faster and faster the water approached, and Rin hunkered as low as she could down in the silky fur. At the last possible second the dog demon pulled out of the dive and arced back to the heavens; it took a minute for the human to collect her thoughts, and finally with a shaky laugh she gave her mount a playful tap.

"You devil!" she exclaimed. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

There was a bark that rattled every bone in the girl's body, and then they were diving again. This time Rin relaxed more, though she still had to hold on with all her might when Lord Sesshomaru tilted his head forward so she could appreciate the full view of their trajectory; he didn't abort until they were so close his paws skimmed the water as he changed course. It all felt like it had to be another dream, but this was real: Lord Sesshomaru was…he was being _playful_ with her! The young woman couldn't imagine what had come over him, but now that the initial shock was over she was determined to enjoy the ride for as long as it lasted.

"Higher, Lord Sesshomaru, higher!" she found herself calling with childlike excitement.

The dog demon seemed all too happy to acquiesce. He climbed through the air effortlessly, swiping at a lone cloud that strayed too close to his path. The world below didn't even look real from this far up: it appeared as a mere painting, or maybe even a strange toy of some sort, not the rolling hills and valleys Rin called home. They stayed there for a long minute, and then Lord Sesshomaru dropped into the fastest dive he had yet performed, this time spiraling a little as he went. Rin wasn't scared at all this time, even if they were so much higher than they had been at the beginning; she realized she was laughing as they fell, and it hadn't even been a conscious decision to do so.

When that round was over the great silver dog ascended high once again, sailing up into the dark blue expanse above. He suddenly snapped his head back forcefully, and Rin lost her grip on his fur. She was tumbling through the open air, a tiny speck plummeting between the two voids, the wind blasting her hair back so hard she thought it might tear away from her scalp. She was petrified, but in a deliciously enjoyable kind of way; even her scream seemed to be colored with mirth. There was such a thrill in the sensation of not knowing absolutely for sure: would Lord Sesshomaru catch her in time? How long would he wait? What if he misjudged his timing? She didn't really think that last thought seriously, as she had utter confidence in her lord, but it still fluttered through her mind all the same.

With a slight thud she landed safely on her perch. She giggled and stretched out to hug the little patch of him that she could even reach, rubbing her cheek against his warm fur. He let her hold him for a few seconds before rolling upside-down, and with a grin the young woman let go to fall once again. Over and over they played the game, each round as exhilarating as the last; sometimes Lord Sesshomaru wouldn't catch her until her feet were very nearly in the water, which resulted in his underbelly getting soaked, but he didn't appear bothered by the fact. The dog demon flew upwards again, so high there was a noticeable chill in the air, and he tossed Rin even further above. She felt close enough to touch the stars that were now scattered all around in a glittering stream, their gorgeous beauty stealing away her very breath.

She only fell a short way before he caught her again, but it wasn't fur she felt in her hands this time: it was a kimono, and under that, the strong shoulders that had helped her carry many a burden over the years. Rin turned to face him, for once at eye-level with this god-like being. Lord Sesshomaru looked back with eyes that were golden once again, a clear smile playing on his lips. He smoothed down the young woman's windblown hair.

"You seemed to enjoy the jump off the cliff earlier," he explained.

"So you decided to take it up a notch…or ten," Rin laughed.

The demon lord ran his hand over her hair again, though she was pretty sure it was in place by now.

"Never forget how brave you really are, Rin. You are fearless, deep down."

They began to descend.

"Wait," the young woman requested. "Can't we stay, just a little longer?"

Lord Sesshomaru nodded and let them hang suspended there between the two worlds, that of the stars and the earth. Rin clasped her hands behind his neck and let her head rest against his cheek without realizing she did so, all her thoughts captivated by the surreal scene that enveloped them. It was all so beautiful, she didn't want it to ever end.

"These are the moments I live for," she confided quietly. "Thank you for giving them to me."

"I would never give them to anyone else," the demon lord responded, so faintly Rin almost thought she'd imagined it.

Almost.


	20. Chapter 19- A Trip to the Past

_Act III_

 **Chapter 19- A Trip to the Past**

In another day Sesshomaru had concluded his cleansing of the region from any unwanted presences, and he set course for further inland once again. He promised Rin there would be more opportunities in the future for her to visit the great sea, and she seemed quite excited with the prospect; now that she was over her initial mistrust of the ocean, there was nothing to keep her from running straight to it the next time she glimpsed the vast body of water. He was pleased the young woman had taken to heart his insistence that she walk directly beside him and no longer travel a few respectful steps behind- he had always been able to sense her nearby presence, but it was far more satisfying to actually see her. Rin now pointed out various plants as they walked along, explaining their medicinal uses and pondering aloud what the unfamiliar ones could do; she drew attention to the birds mounted on their branches overhead, and expressed her love for the great blue sky.

 _All my life, I've despised any and all unnecessary speech,_ the demon thought to himself. _But with her, I don't want her to ever stop._

Rin's left hand rose up to finger her locket. She caressed it with her thumb, over and over, tracing the faint pattern of vines engraved on the golden surface; it was a habit she performed quite often, and sometimes Sesshomaru wondered if she even realized she did it.

"I wish I knew who made this," the human said at last, holding the locket aloft to inspect it closer.

"I'm sure it was made far before your time."

Rin nodded. "It does look old." She gave a sigh. "I want to know who it's about."

Sesshomaru said nothing. He could count on less than one hand the number of times he had ever lied to Rin, but when it came to the locket…it was a necessary evil to feign ignorance.

"Who's to say it is about anyone specific?" he offered. "Perhaps the maker named it as he did because it just seemed fitting."

"That may very well be," his companion admitted. "There's just such _emotion_ throughout it all, I have a hard time believing the music isn't based at least a little on something real. The first section is so heartbreakingly beautiful but sad…I'd probably cry every time I hear it if I didn't already know the end of the story."

Sesshomaru frowned a little, swatting a buzzing insect in his path. "The story?"

Rin smiled. "Oh yes, there's clearly a story in the music, and knowing it's called a 'locket of souls' gives the biggest clue." So saying, she opened up her treasured little ornament and released the song inside. "See, the first movement here is clearly someone alone, their life empty and probably sad: maybe they had a tragic past, or perhaps they're searching for something they just can't find but desperately want."

"You like to find meaning in everything, even when it isn't there."

The young woman shrugged. "Nothing is completely meaningless. Anyway, the first part is dying away- though whether that's supposed to be literal or not, I don't know -and then this lovely and uplifting piece comes into play. It's a light shining in the darkness, hope with a touch of playfulness, and the first song rises up to meet it, and when they do the original is forever altered." Rin gazed at the gentle blue glow she held within her hand. "The first soul can't help but want to mirror the second, though it still retains its own characteristics; they complete each other, providing the perfect balance between who they are and who they want to be, and they fade away as one."

Sesshomaru kept his face impassive. "Perhaps you should take your love of words and turn to writing poems or stories about such…fanciful thoughts."

Rin shifted her eyes upwards to look at him. "Don't you hear any of that?"

The demon saw no harm in giving partial acknowledgement to the truth she spoke. "It is not entirely beyond the imagination."

A shadow passed overhead. Sesshomaru looked to the sky but saw nothing; his senses went into high alert, and he drew his weapon. Rin did the same, clearly hoping to be of help in some way. There was a beat of wings and a massive eagle swept into sight, landing on the path a few yards forward. The demon lord tensed, ready to combat any threat that may suddenly present itself. A little impish creature not too dissimilar from Jaken hopped off the enormous bird, and when he saw the figures before him he let out a terrified cry.

"I come in peace, milord!" the demon gasped quickly, making a few hurried bows. "I am only a messenger!"

"And who sends that message?"

"Your mother."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed, but he slowly lowered his sword. "What does she want?"

The messenger wiped his leathery brown forehead, glad to have avoided death. "She wishes to remind you of your duty to represent your family at the council, which takes place three days hence."

The demon lord let out a disparaging huff. "It's that time again, already."

"Y-yes sir. She believes it will help reinforce your reputation among the high demons as a force not to crossed; you may even be able to secure several alliances."

Sesshomaru gave a dismissive flick. "You've given your message."

The imp licked his lips nervously. "But what am I to tell my lady?"

"Begone," the tall figure declared forcefully, "before I send you back to her in pieces."

The messenger let out a yelp and hopped onto his eagle, spurring the winged mount away in utter terror. Sesshomaru didn't even watch him leave, but instead simply stalked forward in brooding silence. He loathed the meetings, and on more than one occasion he had very pointedly been absent; it _had_ been a long while since he last attended, however, and he had to begrudgingly admit his mother had a point about needing to show strength to the other high-class demons. He stewed over the matter for some time, weighing the pros and cons, but finally someone broke in on his seething thoughts.

"Um, Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin asked in a small voice. "What was all that about?"

He sighed. "As you know, there is a great assortment of demons in the world." He gestured to the woods around them. "There is the countless rabble of lowly creatures in the wild, living hardly any different from the filthy animals they resemble; some manage to elevate themselves to an extent above their fellow beings, but they are still overall a crude and savage lot. Then there are what have come to be known as the high-born demons, the noble ones with far greater powers and lineage."

"And you're the most powerful of them all," the young woman put in.

Sesshomaru nodded. "There are not as many of us as there once were, and those of us that still exist tend to be more removed from the world, content to dwell within our own spheres of influence; very few follow the example of the common gutter trash and go about terrorizing mortals for the fun of it. Hundreds of years ago, my father established a tradition for the high demons to meet from time to time, to discuss concerns and keep ties strong in an effort to ensure our kind does not die out."

"That doesn't sound like such a bad thing," Rin commented as she gently cupped her hands around a butterfly.

"I have never taken to sociable gatherings of any sort; everyone expects you to make conversation and be fascinated by everything they have to say."

His companion gently blew her delicate captive away toward the heavens. "Are you going to stay away, then?"

"Unfortunately, my mother is correct," the demon lord growled, suddenly feeling the urge to destroy something. "There has not been a meeting for over twenty years, and the need to stay united is more imperative than ever."

"Why is that?"

They had come to a rippling stream. Sesshomaru walked ahead over a path of well-placed stepping stones, reaching back to hold Rin's hand and guide her across.

"Humans are spreading out further into the world, their civilizations growing steadily with every passing year. Tell me, did you see a single demon during the entire time we were in Kagome's world?"

"Well, demons don't live in villages now," Rin reasoned, hopping from the last rock down to dry land. "Why would they want to live in even bigger ones?"

Sesshomaru shook his head. "The mortals are too widespread in that time: there aren't enough secluded places left for the demons to dwell in. Either the demons have all died out by then- though there could be a handful scattered about in the remaining wild -or we at last surrendered to the inevitable and integrated ourselves into human society until the bloodlines became so faint it's impossible to distinguish our descendants from the regular mortals."

Rin seemed completely horrified. "That can't be!"

He cast a knowing look at her. "I fear it very well may be, which is why," he rolled his eyes, "I must attend the meeting. Whatever the future reveals, I will not forsake my father's legacy, nor my own."

* * *

They arrived at the castle late in the afternoon the next day. While Sesshomaru had absolutely no desire to appear the least bit eager to come any sooner than necessary, Rin had expressed some interest in seeing the place: since she had not been able to catch more than a glimpse of the exterior the last time they were here (thanks to his mother sweeping her off to the underworld), the demon lord felt it only fair to let her roam about for a day or two. The group landed halfway up the great flight of stairs that led to the magnificent floating palace nestled in the clouds, and Jaken was directed to take the dragon away to the stables. Rin climbed the steps with barely contained excitement, her eyes shining as the mist began to part to reveal their opulent destination. When a lone figure with long white hair appeared at the top of the stairs, the human girl slowed down and gave a worried glimpse to her companion.

"You don't think she'll send another hellhound after me, do you?"

Sesshomaru drew alongside her and prompted her to keep walking. "She did not realize who you were the last time; she wouldn't dare do something to harm you now."

Rin didn't look too sure, but she followed him all the same. Before long they reached the terrace where the mistress of the castle awaited them; her golden eyes were even colder than usual, and her tone clipped enough to cut stone.

"Hello, Sesshomaru. I see you still insist on towing about this mortal girl; haven't you grown tired of such a burden yet?"

She spat out the word _mortal_ with utter contempt. Sesshomaru had faintly entertained the hope that perhaps she would choose not to discuss his attachment to Rin, but of course that had been foolhardy- he had learned his disdain for humans from his mother, after all, so why should she alter her views simply because he had?

"Mother," he greeted stiffly, not even trying to put any cordial inflection into the word. "Never fear, we won't be staying long enough to contaminate your humble abode."

His mother took on a smirk. "Always the sardonic one, you were." She cast another haughty surveillance of the human standing meekly before her. "Well, I certainly hope she won't be in my sight again while you're here."

The demon lord put a hand under Rin's elbow to steer her past his prowling sentry of a mother. "Rin is my guest, Mother; I will not confine her to her room like some unwanted piece of baggage."

He ushered his companion inside. Yes, everything looked just as he remembered it from all the years he'd lived here. The architecture was far grander than anything the humans were currently capable of building; the floor of the expansive entry hall was polished marble, flanked by enormous deep red columns that supported the high ceiling, while multiple doorways led off to various rooms of size and grandeur. Directly ahead, a wide staircase ascended to a second level filled with even more rooms. Contrary to what one might expect, the rooms were not all grouped together in the center as one giant block, but instead ran along the perimeter of the wide walls as the columns did below; this left the main center of the second floor wide open so sunlight could flood through the long row of windows on the western wall of the castle, bathing both the upstairs as well as this hall with a golden glow.

The Inu no Taisho had commissioned the castle in centuries past, drawing inspiration from his travels to different lands and cultures. The place was truly a work of art, though Sesshomaru had not understood its uniqueness as a child; he had simply known this as home, and it was not until he grew older and ventured out into the world that he realized how paltry all other dwellings were in comparison to this. He looked down at the young woman beside him, watching with secret amusement as she stared open-mouthed at everything surrounding her. As determined footsteps sounded behind them, Rin managed to recover herself and turned to face their host; she gave a polite bow before holding out a handful of colorful wildflowers.

"I picked these earlier for you, my lady," she said demurely, giving one of her most winsome smiles. "Lord Sesshomaru remembered them to be a favorite of yours."

Sesshomaru's mother ignored the offered bouquet. "I enjoyed them when it was my beloved little son bringing them to me, not some filthy human."

Rin quietly lowered the flowers, her face slightly crestfallen. The tall demoness addressed her son as if no one else was present.

"I'll expect you at dinner promptly at seven. _Alone_."

She swept out of sight through one of the ornate doorways. Sesshomaru motioned toward the stairs.

"Don't let her words hurt you, Rin," he said gently. "Come, I'll show you to your room."

"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring me…."

The silver-haired demon shook his head forcefully. "Nonsense. What kind of guardian would I be if I left you behind in some abandoned field so I could waltz off to a distant unknown location for days on end, and all you had for protection was a babbling imp with a staff he hardly ever remembers to use?"

Rin giggled a little at the proposed absurdity. "No, you're right, that doesn't sound like you."

Sesshomaru increased the mock offense in his voice. "Honestly, I can't believe you'd accuse me of such a thing. How _dare_ you insult me so!"

The young woman dissolved into laughter, and her companion allowed himself a chuckle of his own. What was it about this place that always made his sarcasm increase? He could only assume it was a subconscious defense mechanism to help him cope with the overbearing presence of his mother; he could recall many a scolding he'd received in adolescence for saying something cutting or unkind, but back then it seemed no one understood the annoyance was rarely directed at them personally. His mother could put him on edge with just one look, or even one word, but since he couldn't say what he wanted to her he had to settle for venting his frustration on others- something none of the servants or tutors took to kindly.

Rin not only understood the true feelings behind the words, but also found them funny. She giggled all the way to her quarters, and probably would have continued longer had she not been struck silent as she caught sight of where she was to stay. Sesshomaru had recalled this to be one of the finer guest rooms, and his curiosity was satisfied to see it had remained that way; the place was draped in elegance and offered a stunning view of the mountains below, the latter of which his companion would undoubtedly appreciate more than any of the other guests who would be arriving in the next day or two. The human seemed hesitant to walk more than two steps inside.

"This…this is for me?" she asked in a tiny whisper. "It's far too grand."

"Of course it isn't," Sesshomaru declared loftily. "You're the honored guest of the great Lord Sesshomaru: you must start to live like it."

He gave the girl a wink and closed the door.

* * *

Sesshomaru was starting to regret coming as soon as he had; he would have been far better off to show up an hour before the council and have left it at that. The dinner with his mother the first night went about as well as one could expect. She carried on in her high and mighty way, offering judgement on topic after topic that her son had zero interest in hearing about, and heaped plenty of unsolicited advice upon him; she also brought up what had become one of her favorite subjects for the past hundred years or so, and it was every bit as tiresome to sit through as it had been the first eighty times.

"Dear son, you really should think about taking a mate. I know as demons our prime season lasts for eons, but why not take full advantage of that time? You could sire a great many sons, all who would bear your father's name into the next generation."

When no real reaction was given to this, she became more specific.

"Lord Masato's daughter came of age about a decade ago. Do you remember how she used to follow you around whenever our families were together? I can't say too much for her looks, but her lineage is a strong one: she would ensure you with healthy pups indeed."

Sesshomaru silently picked at his limp cabbage.

"The Lady Chiyoko- now _there's_ a demoness as strong as she is beautiful. She's managed to successfully rule her lands alone for over three hundred years, and she's never hesitated to flay alive any of the foolish mortal men who've heard the stories of her splendor and sought to win her hand."

 _Let someone launch an assault on this castle, please,_ Sesshomaru prayed. _Anything to get me out of this conversation._

No sudden rumblings or shouts sounded. The evening passed painfully slow, and when he was finally released the demon lord felt that perhaps for once in his life he actually needed some sleep. Unfortunately, the morning brought no reprieve, either. The various demonic dignitaries were starting to arrive, and Sesshomaru made the mistake of saying hello to one of them in a rare moment of wishing to appear polite (he blamed Rin's sweet influence); instantly he was subjected to a long-winded introduction to the lord and his accompanying entourage, which was followed by a dissertation on the mighty feats of the now-deceased Great Dog Demon and supposedly heartfelt accolades for his eldest son. All this drew one or two other high demons to the crowd, and the situation was repeated by the newcomers in due time.

Sesshomaru at last managed to escape, making excuses of being needed for a private meeting with several unnamed ambassadors from the eastern lands. He turned the corner down a separate hallway and came face-to-face with Hiroshi, who promptly greeted him with a powerful whap on the back and a half-embrace.

"There you are! I knew you had to be around here somewhere." The tiger demon craned his neck to look down the hall. "Where's your little shadow? I wouldn't think she's ever too far behind you."

"I do not require Rin's constant presence," Sesshomaru responded icily.

"Could've fooled me. Hey, I heard you took down Akuhei not too long ago; making the beaches safe for the mortals once again, eh?"

The dog demon ignored the implication. "He had made a pact with Takeshi and the others. I wanted to make sure no one else would be able to do the same in the future."

Hiroshi gave a snort. "Yeah, pretty hard to make an alliance with someone when they've been obliterated from existence."

The rambling tiger followed Sesshomaru for the next few minutes, bouncing from one subject to the next and throwing the occasional insult into the mix for good measure. The victim of this assault entertained the notion of "accidentally" lashing out with Bakusaiga under the pretense that he had thought an enemy was bearing down on him, but would it be worth the all-out war that would undoubtedly ensue from the grieving family?

 _Hard to believe anyone would grieve being rid of this jabbering idiot…._

The demon lord was almost glad when his mother appeared from nowhere and firmly informed him that an old friend of his father wished to speak with him. Hiroshi attempted to follow into the council chamber but was met with a door slammed in his face. For the next four hours Sesshomaru deliberated back and forth with the very elderly Samraaj Rajmund, a demon from far into the continent who had been a faithful ally for well over a millennium; the old one wished to discuss the possibility of exchanging land for certain favors- a matter he was in no hurry to settle. By the time Sesshomaru finally had a minute alone to hear his own thoughts again, the sun was well on its way down to drop beyond sight into the sea of clouds.

Voices sounded just around the corner, and the demon lord cursed; if he had to endure another single minute of anyone prattling, he was going to let his claws do the talking and not regret a single repercussion. He dashed between the shadows of the columns all the way to the very back of the castle, and from there slipped through a door into the cool evening air. A large garden was kept here on the back terrace, offering a safe haven that few seemed to ever remember existed. The long branches of ancient trees drifted softly in the breeze, trailing down to almost touch the grass, while flowers and bushes of every shape and color vied for any available space to flaunt their luscious plumage. Sesshomaru stole away through the jungle of foliage, having caught the scent of a few other demons who had apparently stumbled across this tranquil retreat; assuming his mother hadn't had things trimmed back too far, there should be a place in the back corner where multiple bushes formed their own little ring….

There was a slight gasp from someone within as the demon lord pushed between the flowered branches. Rin was there, her hands tucked under her knees as she sat inside the protective barrier; the momentary fear on her face disappeared as she recognized the newcomer, and she gave him a delighted smile.

"Lord Sesshomaru! I'm so happy to see you; I haven't been able to find you once all day."

Sesshomaru let out a loud sigh and dropped to the ground beside her. "I have been bombarded with every kind of torture you can imagine all day long, and only just now have I been able to escape."

"Lots of people wanted to talk with you?" Rin guessed sympathetically.

The demon lord groaned and pressed his palms to his eyes in response, and his companion gave a friendly pat to the arm. After a few minutes of blessed silence, Sesshomaru felt a little calmer and turned his attention to the young woman at his side.

"How did you find this place?" he asked curiously.

"It wasn't hard. I spent most of the day wandering around the castle, just exploring and looking at all the different rooms, but after a while I got tired of all the snobs looking down their noses at me; I wandered outside and found the garden, and of course I had to inspect all the amazing flowers. When I reached the border wall I thought I heard your mother's voice, and I tried to find a hiding place. I stumbled across this little sheltered area, and it was so peaceful I decided to stay awhile." She raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Were you looking for me?"

"Not at the moment, no; ironically enough, I was also seeking somewhere to hide."

Rin made a shocked noise. "You? _Hide?_ "

Sesshomaru propped an elbow on one knee and set his chin on his hand. "There are some things that never change, Rin. I used to come to this exact spot often as a child to escape the endless list of things my mother wanted me to do, or to avoid particularly annoying visitors." He gave a brief laugh. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you managed to find it."

"It is very well-hidden," the girl agreed. "I guess this is why you don't like to visit your old home much: when you are here, it makes you feel too much like being a child again."

The demon lord nodded; it was a statement he would have refused to acknowledge if it came from anyone else, but it didn't feel demeaning when Rin said it. A breeze stirred the branches around them, and for a few moments the entire garden came alive with the sound of rustling leaves; the last sliver of sun sank beneath the clouds, and the enchanted paper lanterns strung throughout the trees flickered to life, providing a gentle golden glow as twilight descended. Rin was enraptured by the sight, staring up at the orbs floating amongst the branches with her usual childlike wonder and delight.

"It's so gorgeous!" she murmured.

Sesshomaru gave a non-committal shrug. "My father had a great love for beauty and its many forms; this castle was his canvas, his way of expressing that appreciation."

"I wish I'd had the honor of meeting him," Rin sighed with sincerity. "He seemed like such a wonderful person."

"He was the greatest demon of his time."

The young woman stretched out on the green grass to better admire the lanterns and the emerging stars. Sesshomaru saw no harm in doing the same, so he followed suit.

"Do you miss him?"

The demon lord let a fair amount of time pass before he answered.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Were he still alive, we would have been rivals; it is better he died as he did, or else it may have one day been by my hand instead."

Rin turned her head toward him. "Would you really have killed your own father?"

Sesshomaru stared above stoically. "It would have been the only way to surpass him."

The human rolled to her side and rose up on one arm. "But would you have really done it? I'm not talking about the you of the past, but this 'you.' In this moment, right now, if your father were to appear before you…would you kill him?"

Sesshomaru looked at her. She was watching him intently, her eyes searching his face as if to read his soul; she was anticipating his answer with a mix of hope and dread, wondering if he would satisfy or devastate her opinion of him. The demon lord began to give the automatic response, but those eyes made him pause- would he slay his father for the sake of glory if it meant losing the undying affection of this mortal girl? He returned her gaze for a long while, silently questing through himself for the truth.

"If I had taken a different path in life, perhaps I would have," he replied softly.

Rin smiled after a moment and settled back onto the grass: she had understood the unspoken meaning behind those words. Fireflies materialized into view above their heads, drifting in and out of branches in lazy carefree patterns.

"Did you enjoy spending time with your father when you were younger?" she asked.

"I suppose I did; you know I don't apply meaning to certain words in the way you do."

"What sort of things did you do together?"

Sesshomaru thought back. "A great many things. Most of them involved combat of some sort, though there were times when I was especially young where he would put me on his shoulders and fly into the night sky to teach me the constellations; he was fascinated by the heavenly bodies and their glory, and he would often watch the sunset or the stars in total silence for hours on end."

Rin tucked her hands behind her head. "What did you admire most about him?"

The demon lord held his hand out and let a firefly alight on his fingertip. The little insect paced back and forth over the skin, his body pulsating with a rhythmic glow, blissfully unaware of how easily his life could be ended with one quick pinch.

"His bravery was unmatched. He could be outnumbered thousands upon thousands to one, but he didn't so much as flinch- he was fully confident he could defeat them all."

"That's what compelled him to save Izayoi on that night," Rin said quietly. "He didn't care how wounded he was; all he wanted was to save her and his son. It was his bravery and love that spurred him on." She gave a sigh. "Loving someone enough to die for them…it's so beautiful, yet so sad."

Sesshomaru glanced at the young woman by his side. Was she thinking of the brother who had died while trying to keep her hidden from the murderers within their own home? To have witnessed such brutality at such a tender age…no wonder she never spoke when he first met her. Afraid she may be close to tears, he sought to change the subject.

"I do expect you to come with me to the initial gathering before the council tomorrow."

Rin sharply inhaled. "Oh, I don't think I should."

It was Sesshomaru's turn to roll over and prop himself up.

"Don't you want to come?"

The young woman squirmed. "Well, yes, but-"

The demon lord tapped her nose. "Then it's settled."

"But it will make you look bad! Everyone will think you've gone soft, and your mother will be furious…."

Sesshomaru gave her a quelling look. "In the first place, I do not care in the _slightest_ what my mother thinks." He leaned forward slightly and spoke in a calmer tone. "And secondly, a very wise woman reminded me not too long ago that I have never cared what everyone else thinks of me."

Rin's cheeks turned the least little bit pink. "Sounds like someone I'd get along with."

"Oh yes, I think you two would have a lot in common."


	21. Chapter 20- The Turning Point- Pt 1

**Chapter 20- The Turning Point- Part 1**

It seemed no time had passed at all, but suddenly it was the evening of the council. It was tradition before the actual meeting convened for all the attendees to gather together in a more sociable setting, discussing lighter matters and inquiring after the lives of friends and family (if one even had either of these things); Sesshomaru loathed this portion of the event even more than the council itself, and if he did not feel honor-bound to represent his father he would have skipped the whole thing entirely. He stalked back and forth across the marbled entry hall, giving curt nods to various demons as they ambled past on their way to the source of distant chatter and occasional laughter. At this moment, he would rather spar with a thousand dragons than have to take one more step toward this overshadowing doom.

The demon lord pulled uncomfortably at his kimono for the tenth time in an effort to adjust the fabric to a more comfortable position; his mother had loudly complained earlier that she hoped he wasn't coming in his "regular old rags," and for the sake of not having to hear her berate all night he had changed into a dark blue robe he had unearthed from a chest in his old chambers. It was a fine garment to be sure, patterned with delicate golden threads in intricate scrollwork, but it felt foreign and unfamiliar after all these years. He was waiting for Rin to come down so he could escort her, and since he was a few minutes early his mind returned again to the subject it had been pondering throughout the day.

Ever since their conversation last night in the garden, Sesshomaru found himself thinking far more about his father than he had in a long time. He thought about the ways they were alike, the ways they were different, and the things they had done together; he remembered the feeling of pride when he was presented with his first sword, and his amusement as a very young pup when his father would play hide-and-seek with him high among the clouds. He wondered- would Father be proud of the son he had raised? What would he have found lacking?

 _One thing's for certain: he would have been rolling with laughter if he'd seen you that night at the beach._

Sesshomaru was steadily becoming less and less surprised by anything related to himself and Rin, so by now he was only mildly shocked that he felt no embarrassment over turning into his battle form to merely play with a human. Such an act would have been unthinkable to him even a few years ago, but more often than not these days he found himself in a growing paradox. He desired from Rin her respect and affection more than anything else, which should have meant he would want to behave even more reserved and austere than usual in an effort to appear perfect, but instead he was consistently relaxing his interactions with her and not caring nearly as much about how she would interpret things, which led him to do things he normally would have found humiliating…and it appeared this latter approach was pulling them closer together. The positive outcomes were making it easier every time for him to trust this newly understood intuition, and Rin no longer seemed as frightened when he did so.

He still wasn't completely sure what had made him want to morph into his dog form and sweep the young woman into the heavens. The thought had just popped into his mind out of nowhere, and instead of laughing at it and turning away, he responded with 'why not?' Rin was fun-loving and adventurous, and she put up with a lot of things most mortals could never tolerate, so if he had the urge (however crazy) to do something she would enjoy, why should he restrain himself? Perhaps there was a bit more of his father in him than he used to think.

A scent he knew so well filled his nostrils, and Sesshomaru stopped at the base of the stairs- he was not prepared for what met his gaze when he looked up. Rin stood there in a flowing pale green kimono, her dark brown hair gracefully pinned back off her neck except for a few of the shorter strands near her face; these loose pieces provided a striking contrast to her fair skin, while her delicate mouth curved upwards in a gentle smile. Her entire figure was framed by the brilliant glare of the western sun as it shone behind her, blurring the edges of reality to give the illusion that she was of the light herself. She began to descend the long flight of steps but the demon lord continued to stay rooted in place, completely transfixed by the vision before him: it was Rin, and yet not Rin, or at least not as he had ever beheld her.

Sesshomaru had never understood or experienced the thrill others took from looking at the setting sun or a flowering forest or anything else termed lovely or pleasing; he never saw the point in gazing at something just for the sake of taking in its details and memorizing them to relive over and over in the mind's eye in later times. Now, all those critiques fell away and died in one instant, and he knew he was seeing something truly beautiful. Rin stole his very breath away, and he didn't care if it ever came back; she was awe-inspiring, flawless in every way imaginable…and she was content with plodding along barefoot through the dirt day after day, for the rest of her life? She was a princess, an angel who deserved every kindness the world could offer, yet all she cared about was following him? He did not deserve her or her devotion- he was not worthy to stand before her.

Rin was within arm's reach now, and Sesshomaru bowed deeply, his senses still reeling from this sudden revelation. The young woman blushed and returned the gesture, and the demon lord fought the immense desire to place himself at her feet in complete submission. As she straightened their eyes met, and Sesshomaru wondered anew how he could have possibly never fully appreciated the expanse of her loveliness.

"I see you found something to wear."

Seriously? _That_ was how he was going to address her? She'd just come down as a goddess from the heavens, and he was commenting on her attire?

"I figured if your mother was going to have to put up with a human in her castle, I may as well dress to match everyone else."

Sesshomaru offered his arm, Rin shyly slipped her hand into place atop it, and they started off for the grand hall at the far side of the palace. All the while the silver-haired demon wracked his brain for something suitable to say, some compliment he could offer, but his razor-sharp mind was coming up blank.

"Do…do I look all right?" the young woman asked hesitantly.

Sesshomaru allowed himself the pleasure of gazing at her again, hoping he wouldn't be turned into a mumbling idiot by doing so. He briefly placed his free hand on top of hers.

"Why would you ask such a question?" he inquired as calmly as possible.

Rin looked down at her feet. "I just feel so out of place. These demons here are like royalty, and compared to them I'm so common and plain."

This was too much. Sesshomaru halted and turned to face her, bracing both her arms firmly.

"Listen very carefully to me, Rin," he said quietly. "You have as much noble bearing as any royal I've ever met, demonic or human, and you are more beautiful than all the women here combined." He placed his forefinger under her chin and raised it till her face was held high. "You bow your head for no one, understood? You are on equal footing here."

Her eyes showed no small amount of confusion over this unexpected declaration, but Rin nodded all the same and kept her chin up once he'd let go. They resumed their steps, and a short while later when they passed a group of demons who were staring in a very pointed way, the human gave them a polite smile but did not look down or give any impression of submission; all the same, Sesshomaru leaned toward her conspiratorially as they neared the massive open doors.

"Don't try to suffer through this for my sake. If you feel at all uncomfortable during the evening, you can leave."

Rin smiled. "I'll remember that. I'm not too worried, though- humans are more dangerous and difficult to me now than demons."

They passed into the great hall. Several hundred demons were gathered there, dressed in varying degrees of silken finery, the air filled with a humming murmur of voices that rose and fell but never completely died away; however, all conversation near the doorway ceased as those closest realized a mortal had entered into their midst. The predictable reactions scrolled across their faces: shock as their eyes initially fell on the girl, then horror and disgust at what she was, and then shock again as the stares turned to her escort with the clear message of, "are you insane?" Sesshomaru gave them each his most frigid glare, daring any of them to speak so much as one word about his companion's race. Internally cowed by his irresistible authority, the demons slowly and stiffly turned their attention elsewhere, though several pairs of eyes darted back to the newcomers the moment they had passed. The dog demon's highly attuned ears began to catch a whisper snaking through the background noise, slipping from guest to guest, spreading the word that the mightiest of their kind was accompanied by a simple human.

It appeared Rin was not self-conscious about any of this. She held her head high as instructed, her face aglow with excitement and curiosity as her eyes roved about the room, taking in everything she could about these newest surroundings. The lady of the castle was nowhere to be seen at the moment, and her son wondered if it might be possible to keep her and Rin apart for the evening; if he kept his senses on high alert, there was a chance maybe the two would never catch sight of each other and certain unpleasantries could be avoided.

"Sesshomaru! It has been some time, hasn't it?"

A grandfatherly-looking demon stepped into view. It was clear he was quite ancient, but he stood straight and tall as any young man, his blue eyes lit by a keen intelligence; he gave a respectful bow, and Sesshomaru inclined his head a fraction of an inch.

"I would say at least fifty years, Riku; we have both had various matters that required much attention."

Riku nodded before turning toward Rin. "And I do not believe I have had the pleasure of meeting your lovely acquaintance before."

Sesshomaru could detect nothing disingenuous in that statement. "This is the Lady Rin. She comes as an ambassador of goodwill from the mortal realm, and as my guest."

Rin gave a warm smile and a graceful bow. "It is an honor to meet you, Lord Riku."

"The honor is mine, my lady," Riku answered with his own smile. "It gladdens me to see Sesshomaru has finally found someone to accompany him here; I know this was never an event you looked forward to," he added as he turned back to the other demon.

"Certain evils must be endured," the dog demon commented dryly.

Riku laughed. "Well, I'm sure we'll talk later. I'm on a quest to find my mate; she started talking with Hanami an hour ago and I haven't seen her since."

As he started to walk away the older demon gave a meaningful look at Rin (who could no longer see him) and then to Sesshomaru, silent approval clearly written on his slightly weathered face.

"At least there's one person who doesn't seem to mind me being here," Rin commented.

"He has always been a very gentle soul," Sesshomaru replied. "Let us see if there is anything here you can eat."

He proceeded to give a very thorough inspection of the food laid out on the low tables. Many of the items he knew to be lethal or at the very least uncommonly painful to mortals, while others he honestly had no idea- though he had no desire to conduct any experiments. In the end he managed to piece together a meal for his companion, which she accepted with her usual profound thanks and insistence he did too much for her; one or two of the delicacies did not seem to be to her liking (judging by the crinkling of her nose once the food was in her mouth), but overall she was quite pleased with her first sampling of demonic fare. They stayed in their little corner with their backs against a supportive column, nibbling on food and observing the other guests.

"Who's the really large one over there with the beard? He looks like he could pick up this whole castle."

"That is Mikio. His kind usually live in the far harsh mountains of the north."

Rin licked some spicy sauce off her thumb. "I'm sure their enormous size helps." She gave a giggle. "That lady with the dark green hair has clearly had too much to drink already; she's walked into four people in the last two minutes."

"Yes, Saiua has always been known to get unsteady very early during events; she'll have retired to her chambers long before the council ever convenes."

The mortal girl paused in her eating and stared to the far side of the room. "Who is that beautiful woman who just came in? The one all in red?"

Sesshomaru felt his mouth turn down of its own accord. "That is Chiyoko, the ruler of the territories nearest here."

"She's…she's beyond description!" Rin whispered, the dumpling suspended by her hand forgotten. "She's bright as the sun and yet dark as the night; she could command an entire army with a single look."

Sesshomaru paid his companion's rambling no heed. It was impossible for any mortal to not fall under the spell of Chiyoko's unearthly beauty, and even many high demons found it a struggle to not pledge instant and total loyalty upon meeting her; of course, the great dog demon had never felt the tiniest inkling of such an urge, and he despised all of his kind who could not resist. From the corner of his eye he saw Rin suddenly straighten her posture more, and she turned her attention back to her plate.

"What is it?" he asked, noting there wasn't even a trace of the spellbound daze left.

"She's very cruel, isn't she?" the young woman asked, not looking up. "I caught it in her eyes as she turned her head."

Sesshomaru slowly nodded. "She is indeed a very harsh woman…though I cannot recall telling of a human ever saying so."

Rin shrugged. "As soon as I saw that, she suddenly didn't seem so overpoweringly gorgeous. A pretty face can't completely hide an ugly heart."

There was no time to discuss the matter further, as the demoness in question glided to a halt a few paces away. Her skin was as pale as the moon, her hair and garments a flaming crimson, and she stood at eye-level with Sesshomaru, who regarded her as he did anyone else- with utter indifference. He suspected it was part of why she had bluntly offered to be his mate on more than one occasion; he was one of the few who did not grovel at her feet and she wished to conquer him, or at the very least relish the battle of attempting to do so.

"Sesshomaru," she purred in a venomous way, "how lovely to see you once again. Pardon me while I swat this fly from the wall."

A fiery whip shot from her fingers in less than a blink. Sesshomaru reached aside and snatched back the burning cord from where it had been- an inch from Rin's face. Chiyoko's ebony eyes narrowed, and her vertical pupils became tiny slits.

"Why do you defend her? You hate mortals as much as the rest of us; surely she is no one of any consequence to you."

Sesshomaru did not answer, wondering how he would most enjoy responding to the taunt in her voice. Should he draw Bakusaiga? Would he give a cutting verbal stab? He had never been one for tactful diplomacy, and the desire to let everyone know Rin was special to him was growing by the second; he had made the leap from dreading their opinions to welcoming the challenge with open arms. They thought they knew him? Let them see how little he really cared about their views.

"Why are you even standing here next to this wretched human?" Chiyoko scoffed, apparently ignoring the fact "this human" was standing calmly before her with no hint of subservience or admiration. "After everything your father put your family through, I would think having a mortal anywhere _near_ you would be the highest insult you could possibly receive."

"On the contrary," Sesshomaru declared with a growling edge to his tone, "there is no one else I would rather have by my side."

He put an arm around Rin and drew her closer, a cold smile crossing his face as he watched the horror (and yes, a flash of envy) take over Chiyoko's features.

"This is the Lady Rin," he announced a little louder than necessary, causing a number of heads within hearing to turn. "I have known her for nearly nine years now; she has been my faithful companion, and proven herself to be the truest of friends."

 _Oh, that got them_ , he thought as several gasps ensued.

They all knew he referred to no one as a friend or anything even remotely similar; it was a concept foreign to his very nature, of which they were all well aware.

"I suggest to you, Chiyoko, that it would be beneficial to your continued longevity if you did not make any moves to harm Rin again. I went to the underworld itself to bring her back: what makes you think I would not hesitate to strike you down in order to protect her?"

The demoness was truly affronted. "You dare threaten me over the life of a human?"

Sesshomaru began to steer Rin away from the ring of onlookers. "I would threaten anyone."


	22. Chapter 21- The Turning Point- Pt 2

**Chapter 21- The Turning Point- Part 2**

As with their initial entry, it was clear that word of the confrontation with Chiyoko spread very quickly throughout the entire throng; Sesshomaru caught a number of demons covertly pointing at Rin while shocked whispers were exchanged, though they all guiltily looked away if he caught their eye. The dog demon didn't care one whit, and even found himself compelled to keep his hold around the young woman long after the gesture had been necessary. He wasn't sure where this fierce drive to openly display she belonged with him had come from, but he did know he suddenly felt extremely protective; he guarded her jealously, giving terrorizing scowls to anyone who looked at her a certain way- particularly the male demons. She was his alone, and if someone so much as touched her he was going to go ballistic.

He felt downright wrathful the longer he thought about it all, and he swore his blood was actually boiling. Rin was infinitely more noble and royal-like than Chiyoko could ever dream of being, and that demoness had the audacity to insult her as if the young woman wasn't even there; he should have chopped that redheaded fiend's face off!

 _It's not too late for that,_ he mused angrily, casting an evil glance at the distant figure swathed in red.

Rin made a small noise, and Sesshomaru looked down: he was clenching her arm so hard, her hand was turning purple. The demon lord pried his fingers away and began to massage her arm.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, half his mind still dwelling on how he might torment a certain demoness. "This will end up bruising…."

"You're pushing too hard," Rin whimpered, trying to worm out of his grasp entirely.

 _Now look at what Chiyoko has done. She's caused me to injure Rin!_

Sesshomaru put his hand to the hilt of Bakusaiga and took two steps toward his prey, but that was as far as he got. Rin planted herself in front of him and pushed against his chest.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I need some air."

He didn't really hear her. His vision was beginning to wash over with a reddish glare, and white hot anger was seconds away from bursting forth to wreak havoc. Very dimly- almost as if through a fog -he saw Rin start to fall toward the floor, and his fury was waylaid. He caught her in his arms and searched for the cause of this sudden change, but she was silent and her eyes closed. Had she fainted? It would have been an unusual time to do so. The demon lord carried her through one of the many open doorways that led to the outer walkway that encircled the perimeter of the castle; perhaps the cool evening air would revive her. He had only gone a short distance before Rin opened her eyes and regarded him in a perfectly cognizant manner.

"So, are we going to talk about what happened back there?" she asked matter-of-factly.

Sesshomaru set her down with what he knew to be a bewildered expression. "Why did you faint?"

"I was only pretending."

The demon lord stared at her. "You were trying to _deceive_ me?" he demanded.

"It was the only way I could get you to leave the room; you had murder in your eyes."

Sesshomaru growled viciously and brushed past her. Rin latched onto his arm and hauled backwards with all her might.

"No, don't!" she exclaimed frantically. "You're not yourself! Lord Sesshomaru, stop."

It was as if she wasn't even there. All Sesshomaru heard was the pounding of blood in his ears, and all he saw was red: red, like the long hair he was going to rip right out of its wretched scalp…. Rin jumped in front of him and pressed her hands against his face in desperation, clinging tightly for all she was worth.

"Lord Sesshomaru, look at me. _Look at me._ "

She stood on tiptoe and yanked down without warning, bringing them nose-to-nose and forcing Sesshomaru's gaze into her eyes; in only a few seconds the demon felt his anger recede to a far more manageable level, and his vision cleared. He saw two beautiful brown eyes flooded with confused terror, and felt arms trembling from the futile effort of trying to hold him back. Slowly, Sesshomaru took Rin's face in his hands the same way she held his, and at last he sighed and set his forehead against hers. He didn't offer an explanation for his actions of the last few minutes or try to justify his anger, but merely stood with her as his mind regained a sense of normalcy and balance. Finally, he straightened his stance and gently pushed back Rin's sleeve to look at her arm; it was indeed developing a nasty bruise, and he began to massage the skin with great tenderness.

"What happened?" Rin whispered.

"I lost my mind," Sesshomaru answered helplessly. "I was infuriated by the idea that Chiyoko tried to kill you, and even more upset by the thought that she would do so without knowing who you are or what you're like…" he sighed again. "I was overwhelmingly consumed with the need to defend your honor and to send the unequivocal message that-"

He halted, realizing he wasn't entirely sure how to say what he had felt back there in the great hall. It was so much bigger, stronger, and all-encompassing than anything he had ever encountered in the past; he wasn't sure if there really even was a single word that could sum up the righteous rage that had welled up so fiercely just a short while ago. The demon lord gave the waiting girl a sad smile and pulled her sleeve down into place.

"I care about you, Rin, and I'm no longer concerned whether anyone knows about it; I went into a blind fury, and you had the misfortune to be close enough for that fury to touch you. I am truly sorry for hurting you."

The young woman visually searched him, as if checking for lingering traces of the anger like one would an illness. After a time, her old smile returned.

"You didn't mean to do it," she said easily, waving her hand. "I suppose I should count myself highly honored by how upset you become on my behalf." She became more serious. "But…Lord Sesshomaru?"

He looked down at her, remorse over doing her injury continuing to grow. And to think only an hour ago he'd been so awed by the mere sight of her he could hardly even move-!

"You called me your friend," Rin said quietly, wonderment filling her gaze. "You called me your friend in front of every important demon and ally you know; why?"

"I told you," the silver-haired demon replied, bending down to her level as he brushed her cheek with his finger, "I care for you."

"But at the cost of your own reputation?"

Sesshomaru placed his hands on her shoulders, wishing he could make her feel what was in his heart for her. The emerging stars cast their light upon her upturned face, glinting on the ornamental combs in her hair and turning her kimono white; she was beautiful even as concern etched its lines across her brow.

"How can I put a value on something that is priceless?" he questioned, fondly pushing her bangs back.

Rin's responding smile could have melted icicles in the dead of winter. The demon lord turned her toward the hall, his usual calm and dignity present once again. Riku and his mate greeted them not too long after, and the four passed quite some time talking of this and that; the elderly couple seemed very pleased with Rin, complimenting her regularly and listening intently when it was her turn to speak. When the older demoness briefly took the younger woman aside to show her the drinks available, Riku spoke his mind.

"I'm very proud of you, Sesshomaru, and I think your father would be too. Rin is clearly a very kind and intelligent girl, and I know she has to be an incredibly special person for you to have let her into your life."

This was met with a nod. "She is indeed special; I never want to imagine what it would be like without her."

"She's quite pretty, too," Riku said in a casual manner, examining his nails. "You have to beat the mortal men back with a stick, eh?"

"She's too good for them," Sesshomaru declared with finality.

"Oh, to be sure, yes, but what will you do if she falls in love with one of them anyway?"

The dog demon swore there was a touch of teasing in the question. "She has no desire for such a thing."

Riku nonchalantly turned his attention to the ceiling. "Of course, of course. But that sort of thing can't exactly be helped, you know; once it happens, there's nothing you can do to stop it."

Sesshomaru eyed the other demon suspiciously, but they were interrupted as the women returned with their cups and conversation had to turn to elsewhere. A long while later another demon came by who wished to speak with Riku, and the group broke apart. As Sesshomaru glanced about to ascertain how close they were to the council convening he caught sight of Hiroshi, and the tiger demon noticed this; the ginger-haired chatterbox began to fight through the crowd, and with an inward groan his quarry took Rin's hand and attempted to put some distance between them and the tiger. In the event he should fail, the demon lord had a sudden thought.

"Rin, hide your locket."

The young woman obediently tucked the trinket away under her kimono, but she was puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"Hiroshi is trying to catch us, and-" there was a burst of inspiration, "once he's had some sake he gets very sticky-fingered, and considering the attention he gave that necklace last time it would probably be best he didn't see it."

Rin nodded as if this made perfect sense to her. "I wonder if he knows the story behind the locket."

Sesshomaru silently grit his teeth. "I wouldn't believe anything he tells you about it."

"Why not? He clearly knew what it was."

"Hiroshi makes a living from selling charms and baubles: no doubt he has to fabricate a number of wild tales about where things came from and what they supposedly do in order to make a sale. The salesman lifestyle is in his blood by now, and I'm sure he's not opposed to stretching the truth even in plain conversation for the sake of livening things up."

This in and of itself could very well be the truth, but it still felt like lying to Sesshomaru, and he hated it. There was nothing more he could do, as Hiroshi- who was far more experienced at navigating through parties -had cut them off and was now dead ahead. The tiger demon waved gaily to Rin, offering her a sugar biscuit when she was nearer.

"A sweet for the sweet," he crooned. "I see you haven't given up on this old boy yet."

Rin shook her head as she gave the biscuit a nibble. "I'll never give up on Lord Sesshomaru."

Hiroshi shook his head and glanced up at their silent third companion. "I'll tell you what, can you find me one like her? I could do with some undying devotion and admiration."

"I'm sure if you conduct yourself in a manner worthy of admiration, someone will come along," Rin answered innocently before taking a large bite from her treat.

The tiger demon made a face before brushing the matter off. "Yeah, sure, whatever. So Sesshomaru, I heard Chiyoko was really steamed by something you said earlier; you trying to build up the tension to make the act of mating all the sweeter?"

Sesshomaru felt Rin stiffen beside him; Hiroshi truly had a knack for bringing up subjects in the worst way possible.

"How many times do I have to reiterate I have no designs upon her?"

"Oh sure, you two have only been getting into spats since you were both twelve. What is it they say about the disgruntled youths of yesterday becoming the lovers of tomorrow?"

The dog demon cut a deadly glare at the speaker. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Hiroshi grinned maddeningly. "Ah, the true response of someone who's been caught- such a classic yet pointless answer."

Sesshomaru felt his fist balling up. He hadn't punched Hiroshi in a long time, so he certainly had it coming.

"Do you think you'll be able to share him, Rin?" the fiend inquired with a sickly smile to the human, who was quite pale by now. "I'm not sure how kindly Chiyoko would take to you hanging around."

Hiroshi never saw it coming: one second he was upright and gloating, and the next he was flat on his back with a swelling eye socket. Sesshomaru glowered down, his fist still clenched and held at the ready to swing again if necessary. Though he had never craved a mate as so many others did (and quite frankly, he abhorred the idea altogether), at an earlier time in his life he had begrudgingly admitted he would have to take one at some point if he wished to continue a pure bloodline for his family; he kept putting the matter off, ignoring the advances of any demoness who tried to ensnare him, and flatly turned down a countless number of betrothals proposed by various high-ranking demons with eligible daughters. His mother brought the subject up every chance she got, but for all her efforts she could not convince him of anyone's suitability.

Sesshomaru silently regarded the young woman who was looking back and forth between him and the tiger demon splayed on the polished floor. Rin had forever altered his life, and there was no going back to the way he'd been before. He knew her for the rare jewel she was, the one-in-a-million everyone looked for but very few ever found: he would never find a demoness who could possibly compete with the expectations this mortal had developed inside him. No one would be as loving, thoughtful, kind, gentle…Sesshomaru wasn't sure he even knew all the words that described Rin. All he knew was that he didn't want to share himself with anyone else, and long after this human was gone there would still be no room for someone new to come into his heart. The demon lord felt his logical mind following the thread of such sentimental thoughts to the possible solution, but before the answer could be revealed a hand set itself very firmly on his shoulder.

" _Well_ , if you're through attacking my guests, I think it's time for the council to start."

Sesshomaru gave his mother a curt nod but kept his eyes on Rin. He realized his explanation for attacking Hiroshi had been entirely internal and he had not shared one word with his companion; had she understood the reason for his reaction? What if she thought the tiger was right in his accusations, and that Sesshomaru had lashed out because he didn't want Rin to know he planned on mating with Chiyoko someday? He was horrified by this possibility, but there was no time to properly explain now that all the dignitaries were drifting toward the council chambers and Mother was half-dragging him in that direction.

"Rin," he said quickly as he grabbed her hand and tried to keep the desperation out of his voice, "Hiroshi was wrong, I swear. I would never-"

"Come along, my son."

His mother forcefully pulled him away. Of course, Sesshomaru could have broken away from her with no effort at all, but he needed far more time and privacy than he had here to give Rin his assurances. He craned his neck as he was hustled away, hoping he could impart some form of comfort, but he only caught a glimpse of the scene behind him: it was a young woman standing alone in a darkening room, her arms hanging limply at her sides, while hollow eyes blinked as if they gazed upon a stranger.

It was one of the worst moments in the demon lord's life.

* * *

The heavy doors to the council chamber slammed shut, and Rin winced at the thundering sound. There were perhaps sixty or so demons still milling about the hall, and she assumed these must be the guests of the council members; she noticed quite a few staring at her like some curiosity in a shop, and she did her best to appear unruffled. It was so much easier to act like she belonged here when Lord Sesshomaru was by her side, but now he was gone and she had no one to defend her or make her feel like she mattered. Hiroshi's words echoed in her memory, and anguish stirred anew within her; she was certain the tiger demon had _tried_ to make her upset, that he saw how much the subject was bothering her and he delighted in driving his point home all the more.

Tears were trying to well up now, and with as much dignity as she could muster Rin quickly paced out to the walkway. She broke into a run as soon as the glaring eyes were no longer on her, feeling the combs in her hair jiggling loose with every step that bounced off the dark wood and out into the night air. She snatched the ornaments down from their perch and flung them away, not even caring what she looked like anymore.

 _I wanted to look pretty for Lord Sesshomaru,_ she thought bitterly. _I wanted to pretend I'm something more than I am, that I could be…something I never can._

The tears began to fall, hot and hard, and Rin's feet slowed. She wrapped her arms around the nearest railing post and clung to it, facing out over the endless blanket of clouds in an effort to hide her face from anyone who might pass by. She knew Lord Sesshomaru would never love her in a romantic way, and usually she kept her peace with this thought but oh, how much it hurt when her heart got the better of her! She loved him with every last fiber of her very being, and the knowledge that he would not only never be aware of this but would also take another woman in his arms for his own someday was soul-crushing.

 _But when we talked that one time about his future mate, he said 'if,'_ her mind feebly offered, grasping for any comfort. _He didn't say it was a guarantee._

 _There was resigned finality how he said it,_ she argued back. _Lord Sesshomaru cares too much about his father's honor and bloodline- he_ _will_ _marry, eventually._

Surely he would at least have the self-respect to not choose Chiyoko? Rin knew he based very few decisions on emotion and was driven by logic and calculations: from a detached point of view, the cruel demoness would be the perfect mate. She was strong and fierce, able to hold her own and run things while her husband was away; she already possessed key territories, which would be to great tactical advantage in setting up the coming empire. Besides, Chiyoko clearly came from a powerful heritage, and children from a union with one such as Lord Sesshomaru would be formidable indeed. The pairing was so obvious- it was a wonder it hadn't happened already.

 _He's not so devoid of feelings as everyone thinks!_ the stubborn part of Rin insisted. _He wouldn't put himself into a relationship so totally unfulfilling; he cares-_

 _He cares because of you- he's told you that himself a hundred times. If you're not around, what makes you think he won't return to being completely sealed off, from himself as well as others? Lord Sesshomaru would be a fool to not choose Chiyoko…and if there's anything he isn't, it's a fool._

Rin clutched at her heart and sobbed harder, truly pained to think of her beloved lord putting himself in such a situation. She wanted so much more for him; she wanted him, against all odds, to find happiness and truly love his mate. She knew deep down he was capable of feeling it, even though he didn't realize it, and she wanted him to discover the incomparable joy that came from loving someone completely. There was nothing she could do to make that happen, however, and so she could only stand here and mourn what might have been. The young woman cried and cried until she had wrung every last drop of moisture from her eyes, after which she fell silent and simply stared numbly into the sky; a shooting star arced its way across the dark heavens, but at this moment there was no hope left to make a wish.

After quite some time had passed, there was the sound of gentle footsteps further down the walkway. Rin hastily ran a sleeve across her face to rid herself of any telltale tear tracks, hoping whoever it was would keep walking and leave her be. The sound ceased a few seconds later, but not as if the walker had gone back inside: they were simply still. Rin fought the urge to turn and look, determined not to let herself be intimidated by this newcomer.

"Lady Rin?" a soft voice queried.

The greeting was not what she'd expected at all, and she turned. A few feet away stood a demoness, tall and slim and youthful- she looked no older than Rin or perhaps even younger, but the mortal girl knew demons never appeared their true age. The stranger was not devastatingly beautiful like the other high demons, but she also lacked the haughty air that usually accompanied those good looks; her large orange eyes seemed genuinely concerned, and there was something akin to respect in her mannerisms toward the human.

"You are the Lady Rin, aren't you? I thought I saw you earlier with Sesshomaru."

"Yes, that was me. I had my hair pinned up then."

The demoness nodded. "Ah, I see." She made a courtly bow. "My name is Yoshiko."

Rin bowed in turn. "It's very nice to meet you."

Yoshiko fingered her long, braided hair in an almost nervous manner. "Is Sesshomaru well?"

"Quite well, as far as I know."

"He and I grew up together," the demoness commented, leaning back on the railing behind them.

"Really?" Rin asked, taking renewed interest in her companion. "What was he like as a child?"

Yoshiko shrugged. "The same as he is now: serious and silent, not prone much to laughing…but you could see the pleasure he took in walking by his father's side. He had to take five steps for every one of his father's, but he held his head high because he was the Great Dog Demon's son," she recalled fondly.

"So, when you say you grew up together…."

"My parents were allies of his father. Our families often visited one another so they could discuss things of a more militant nature, so Sesshomaru and I played together in the garden and rode dragons across the clouds and such."

Rin shook her head. "I can't imagine Lord Sesshomaru as a little child."

"Just think of him now, only smaller."

The two women giggled a little, sharing a secret smile in imagining the fearsome warrior as a tiny tot who could barely walk.

"What has it been like to travel with him, Lady Rin?" Yoshiko asked, becoming more relaxed. "I would think you've had lots of adventures."

"Please, just call me Rin; I don't know why he introduced me the way he did. I guess he was trying to make me sound important."

The demoness turned her head in a questioning way. "But you must be important- he wouldn't have brought you, otherwise."

Rin took her turn shrugging. "Maybe to him, but by everyone else's standards there's nothing special at all about me."

Yoshiko chose her words carefully. "I have to admit, I never would have expected Sesshomaru of all people to bring a human here with him. There were rumors a few years ago he had taken a mortal child under his wing, but I didn't think there was anything to it."

"I told him I shouldn't have come," the young woman sighed, turning around so she could set her elbows on the railing. "I knew I'd just end up causing him disgrace."

Her companion turned as well. "It seemed to me that he was the one causing the disturbance, not you," she observed.

"But it was _because_ of me; Chiyoko threw her whip at me, which provoked Lord Sesshomaru."

Yoshiko made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. "Chiyoko has desired Sesshomaru as long as she's known him, and she's always hated anyone who's gotten to spend time with him. She won't speak to me to this day because I've known him longer." She smiled at the human beside her. "It's no wonder she'd hate you instantly: aside from that little vassal, he's never taken a companion of any sort on his journeys, not even for a rearguard."

Rin looked down at her hands, concentrating hard so she wouldn't look self-satisfied. She was steadily gaining the impression that Yoshiko had some unrequited feelings regarding the great demon, and she didn't want to rub in the fact she was so highly favored. The raven-haired demoness traced a long fingernail over the grain of the wood beneath her hands.

"I've never seen him act the way he did tonight," Yoshiko said quietly, not taking her eyes off the railing. "He hates to draw attention to himself outside of battle, but I swear he was relishing the rise he got out of Chiyoko."

"He's very protective."

"No," the immortal being said with complete surety, "that was beyond protective."

Rin glanced aside at the speaker. Yoshiko's eyes seemed sad, and yet at the same time there was satisfaction, as if something she had wondered for a long, long while was at last answered; the mortal young woman sought for something else to talk about, but for once her chatty mind was bone dry in finding a different subject.

"He would never do it, you know," Yoshiko said suddenly, facing her new acquaintance.

"Do what?"

"He'll never take Chiyoko for his mate; he hates her far too much."

Rin sighed. "I want that to be true."

The demoness shook her head roughly. "It is, trust me. He never liked her from the first day he met her, and his disgust has only grown more with every attempt she makes to woo him; I heard him tell Hiroshi once that he would rather see his bloodline end with him than let her win."

The human felt hope glimmer within. "Then why did Hiroshi…?"

Yoshiko rolled her eyes. "Hiroshi has always been nothing more than a prankster who lives to frustrate Sesshomaru. He knows exactly how to get under his skin and make him furious: the more preposterous and out-of-character he makes his taunts, the more Sesshomaru will react. The tiger is a nagging fly that refuses to be swatted away."

Rin's spirits leapt higher than the stars. How could she have doubted him? She should have known from the start he would never let a witch like that redheaded demon get the better of him; he was the most stubborn person she'd ever met in her entire life, so if he had sworn Chiyoko would never triumph, then there was no way on heaven or earth that she ever would.

 _I let my emotions run away with me,_ she thought with some shame. _I got so caught up thinking about him needing a mate one day, I instantly jumped to assuming it would have to be her._

"I see this pleases you," Yoshiko remarked with a teasing smile.

Rin coughed and attempted to be nonchalant. "Well, who wouldn't be? I want Lord Sesshomaru to be happy, and obviously he never could be with her."

"Mm-hmm."

Neither said anything for several minutes. Even though they'd only known each other for a few minutes, Rin could tell she was already growing fond of this unusual demoness. She was sure by now that Yoshiko also loved Sesshomaru, and she wondered if the immortal woman was sad because she had confessed those feelings to the demon lord and he rejected her…or if perhaps she had kept them hidden all these centuries because she knew what the answer would be. Either alternative would cause an equal amount of heartache, and the human wondered if maybe she could put in a good word to her lord; though the idea of Lord Sesshomaru marrying was still a bitter blow, at least Rin would know his mate honestly loved him.

"I'm happy Sesshomaru found you," Yoshiko said in a voice barely above a whisper. "You clearly mean more to him than…anything, or anyone."

"Yoshiko, don't," the young woman pleaded, lightly placing a hand on the demoness's arm. "Don't do that to yourself."

Yoshiko regarded the human with her almost luminescent eyes. "You are a perceptive one, aren't you?" she murmured.

"I…I know how you feel; I don't want to cause you more pain by talking about it."

The demoness smiled in a bittersweet way. "I always hoped Sesshomaru would find his heart someday." She held Rin's shoulder. "I'm glad it was through you."

She inclined her head before straightening to leave.

"Yoshiko."

The orange eyes watched carefully, waiting.

"I'm sorry."

Yoshiko turned away. "So am I."

The demoness disappeared into the shadows, vanishing from sight almost instantly. Rin felt one last tear slip down her cheek, but this time it was not for herself.


	23. Chapter 22- Falling Deeper

**Chapter 22- Falling Deeper**

Rin walked back to her room, thankful that all the demons were still cloistered away in either the council or the grand hall. She was emotionally exhausted from the evening and took great relief in knowing she would be leaving tomorrow morning; it had been an educational visit for certain, but she was ready to put all of this behind her. The grand castle was much more intimidating at night, lit only by the occasional torch tucked into some dim recess, and the young woman wondered if the lighting was so sparse because demons had such keen eyes. Her footsteps echoed eerily as she climbed the staircase, and she found herself casting a nervous glance here and there off into the shadows.

"Don't be silly," she declared in as cheery a voice as possible. "Everyone else is feasting or arguing: no one will come this way for a long while yet."

The statement was less comforting than she had hoped, and it took a good deal of willpower for her to not make a run for it once she reached the top of the steps. She hurried to her door and practically jumped inside her room, suddenly very eager to get out of these more formal clothes and place her trusty katana by her bed.

 _That's odd,_ she thought as she realized she was still in darkness. _I was sure I lit a lantern before I went out._

There was the tiniest of clinks, a nearly imperceptible sound that likely wouldn't have even registered in most mortals' minds. Rin recognized it as the distinctive noise made by one piece of armor bumping another as the wearer moved- usually when he was raising his arm to strike. The girl pitched forward into a somersault, and a split-second later there was an enormous crash where she had just been standing. Rin stayed down in a crouch and reached into the inky blackness with her ears, assessing the situation as she had been taught to do; there was a grunt, three heavy footsteps, then the sound of a blade swishing blindly in the hopes of catching its target. She couldn't be sure, but there seemed to only be one assailant in the room: there wasn't a single noise coming from any other direction.

Rin thrust her hand aside as she made a single thought, and her sword answered the call instantly. Summoning all her will, she slashed forward and released the glowing wave of energy; a small crescent spun into the dark and caused an alarmed yelp from someone, but the blue wave dissipated like smoke before it reached anyone. There was a whoosh from above, Rin reflexively brought her blade up, and something very heavy smacked the katana. The bruise Lord Sesshomaru had given earlier smarted sharply as the weight hit, and the young woman wished desperately for some light to guide her; she managed to throw off her opponent but didn't waste time taking a wild stab, and instead opted for getting some distance made again. She heard several swings, then a crash as an unfortunate vase met its demise, and she took a few more steps under the cover of the noise.

 _If I can get to the door, I could lure him into the hallway so I can at least see what I'm doing._

She went for another step to the right, but the unfamiliar room betrayed her. A table blocked her way and she tripped, tumbling to the floor and losing all sense of direction. Which way was the door now? What if she fell through the window? Thumps to her left- Rin barely scrambled aside in time to avoid a whistling sword. She risked another energy wave and immediately dove for cover, knowing the light would give her position away. There was another crash behind her. The deadly game of cat-and-mouse continued as the human fired blast after blast as often as she dared, but none of them were powerful enough to do any real damage. The fact that she couldn't see her attacker made everything ten times worse, and she entertained the notion that perhaps the assassin wouldn't be seen even in the light. A large fist slammed into her back, and realizing what it had found the hand quickly seized her kimono.

"Got ya!" a throaty voice growled.

Rin shoved her blade backwards in the space under her arm and was rewarded with an angry howl. Feeling the enemy's grasp loosen she wrenched herself forward, spun on her toes, and gave the air a vicious slash as a rush of adrenaline hit her: she was _not_ about to let some unknown demon murder her in what was supposed to be the safety of her own room. A magnificent blue crescent shot into the dark, building like a rushing wave before slamming into something, though whether it was the intended target or not was unknown. Rin clutched her sword at the ready, staring into the void with baited breath; she heard nothing, not even a moan. After ten seconds without a sound she cautiously felt around until she brushed past a lantern, and after some more fumbling she managed to get it lit.

The room was mostly in shambles with broken trinkets and upturned furniture scattered everywhere, but there near the door lay the few remaining lumps of flesh that had once been a demon. Rin lowered herself to a cushion and put her head in her hands, relief flooding through her as her mind accepted the fact she was safe; the reprieve lasted for about a minute before her thoughts turned to the obvious question: why had he wanted to kill her? There was no way he couldn't have known whose guest she was. It would be suicide to attack her! Had this demon hated humans so much he didn't even care what would happen to him, if it meant there was one less mortal in the world? The young woman sat for a long time pondering such questions without expecting to ever get an answer, but it came all the same.

The door slid aside and Lord Sesshomaru's mother stepped in. She cast a loftily detached glance down at the scattered remnants of the assailant.

"I see that was a failure," she droned in a bored manner.

Rin sprang to her feet, keeping her katana lowered but ready by her side.

"You sent him?" she choked out in utter disbelief.

The dog demoness made a one-syllable sound. "Of course not."

She sauntered across the battlefield of a floor as if to examine it. Her head slowly turned in all directions as she read the signs for what had transpired, and when she was done she gave another contemptuous noise.

"She must have thought it wasn't necessary to send a decent fighter in here," she scoffed as she turned to the bewildered human. "But then again, who would expect one was needed?"

Rin scowled. "She?"

"Someone you offended earlier with your mere existence. I _may_ have mentioned to her where you were staying after she expressed her utter loathing to me…" there was a cruel smile, "but nothing more. I did not commission this."

 _Three guesses as to who_ _that_ _was…._

"Do you hate me so only because I'm human?" Rin boldly asked, taking a step forward. "Are you that disgusted merely because of my blood, or is there something more?"

"You are a distraction to my son," the demoness retorted bluntly. "If he is to build his empire he cannot be constantly sidetracked with having to rescue a little girl whose life is but the length of a sigh compared to his own. Worse yet, what if- on one of the countless occasions where you will undoubtedly be in harm's way -he loses focus while trying to rescue you, and ends up getting himself killed? I cannot lose him over something so extremely trivial; it would be an insult in every way possible."

"Lord Sesshomaru is his own master. He won't let anyone but himself dictate his actions, and he has chosen to let me stay with him; you can't change that."

Rin marveled at her own bravery. Where were these words coming from? Maybe it was pent-up resentment for being ignored and treated like a worthless piece of trash for two days straight, or maybe it was inspiration from the demon lord's feisty defense earlier in the evening, but whatever the cause she was sick of playing games and wasn't going to hide her feelings. The demoness took on a lethal countenance that sent chills down Rin's spine.

"Yes," she said in a low voice, her feet crunching over the fragments of the ill-fated vase, "your accompanying him is a strange thing indeed."

Lord Sesshomaru's mother came close, towering over the mortal girl with every inch of her regality, but Rin refused to show any intimidation.

"You've been of age for several years now, if my knowledge of human culture serves me rightly." The tone somehow became even more sinister, more biting. "Why aren't you out there looking for a husband? Why would a girl with her whole life ahead of her want to cast it aside to sleep outdoors, plod through the snow, and risk death on a daily basis? What _could_ your motive possibly be?"

The young woman stayed stock-still, not even daring to blink for fear of such a tiny move giving her thoughts away.

"It would be very easy for a child who grew up with a powerful figure doting on her to conjure up all sorts of fantasies about why he favored her, as she matured. She might even delude herself into thinking perhaps he had _feelings_ for her."

 _Don't let a single muscle twitch. You can outlast her._

"And of course, it's more than likely this girl would only have such thoughts…" the demoness smirked during her dramatic pause, "if _she_ has feelings for _him_."

 _You bow your head for no one,_ Rin repeated mentally. _He meant everyone, including his mother; don't let her force you to look away._

The wife of the elder Great Dog Demon leaned in threateningly. "My son will never see you in the way you wish he would. I can promise you such a possibility could not even cross his mind; if the greatest and most beautiful of our kind cannot catch his eye, why would a lowly mortal like you fare any differently?"

She ran one long nail along Rin's jaw, but the human still refused to react in any way; even when the claw nicked her skin and drew blood, the young woman only stared steadfastly at the cruel face above her.

"Oops," the demoness gasped, looking oh-so concerned. "Have you nothing to say, little mortal? Sesshomaru claims you are strong and fierce, but you only stand there dumb as a rock. Are your dreams so easily dashed?"

Rin pulled her chin back from the lingering finger. "I simply did not want to be rude and interrupt you, my lady," she answered with her own degree of frigidity.

Lord Sesshomaru's mother narrowed her eyes, and Rin wondered if she was caught off-guard.

"I know your son will never love me; I came to terms with that a long time ago. I know that he is too important and too powerful to ever take notice of me in that way."

The demoness straightened stiffly, so Rin stepped in as close as she could to show she could not be bullied or ignored.

"I _know_ I can never win his heart as he has mine. I will spend the rest of my life beside someone who won't see how I look at him, who won't feel as I do, who won't understand the longing ache that runs down to my soul itself." The girl smiled in spite of her harsh predictions. "But it doesn't matter," she whispered.

A trace of confusion crossed that moon-white brow for just a moment.

"I already have something from him that no one else can claim, and I will treasure it till the day I die." Rin looked back at her tormentor in triumph. "I have his friendship."

"And you expect me to believe you consider that enough?" the dog demoness sneered.

The young woman nodded. "It's more than what you have."

This was met with a sharp, infuriated gasp. The outrage on the immortal woman's face was beyond words, and she threw her arm back as if intending to vaporize the pestilence before her; her acute ears must have caught something that caused her alarm just then, as she suddenly spun and stormed for the door. Halfway out she stopped and glared back into the room.

"Had I not cared more about my son's happiness, I would never have brought you back with the meido stone," she snarled.

She was gone. Rin shakily bent down and righted the table beside her feet. She knew she shouldn't have said the last thing that she did, but it just came out of its own accord; it hadn't been meant in malice or anything else of the sort.

 _I just couldn't let her think she'd won._

The thought made Rin smile. It was the exact same reasoning that drove Lord Sesshomaru to refuse any and all advances from Chiyoko: he wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of thinking they had conquered his will.

"I guess that's a trait we share," she said softly.

She began cleaning up her chambers as best she could, straightening what could be salvaged and pushing the broken things into one corner. But while her hands worked, her mind dwelt on all that had transpired that evening.

* * *

The instant the council was concluded Sesshomaru practically bolted from the room, determined to escape before anyone tried to waylay him with idle chatter or veiled inquiries about this evening's behavior. He'd hardly heard a word that was said throughout the entire meeting, though he seriously doubted he'd missed anything important; all he could think about was Rin, and the broken way she'd looked at him as he left her in the grand hall. He didn't care if they had to stay up all night to discuss the matter, but he was not letting her out of his sight again until he had complete and utter assurance she understood his intentions. The demon lord all but flew through the castle and up the stairs to her room, nearly sick with worry she would not forgive him after everything he'd put her through this evening. He was about to throw the door wide open and only remembered at the last possible second that one was supposed to knock before entering.

 _It's been too long since I lived anywhere with four walls,_ he reasoned.

He gave a careful tap on the wooden frame, attempting to contain his urgency. There was what seemed an awfully long pause afterward, but finally he heard a thin voice issue from the far side of the room beyond.

"Who is it?"

"Rin, it's me."

Bare feet hurried across the floor, and the door opened just wide enough for Rin to be seen.

"I'm glad to see you survived your meeting," she commented in a jovial manner.

There was something amiss here. Her cheeriness didn't reach her eyes, which had a slight pink tinge- she had been crying at some point. And why was she rather awkwardly angled, almost as if to block the doorway? It was as Sesshomaru had feared, and his heart sank: he had hurt her too much for her to rationalize his behavior as she normally would.

"May I come in?" he asked as humbly as possible.

The young woman glanced behind her. "Um, now's not really the best time; it's kind of, ah, messy and everything…."

"Rin, please," Sesshomaru said quickly, anticipating a dismissal. "You have to believe me when I say I would not let Chiyoko be my mate if she were the last woman on the face of this earth."

The girl looked confused, so he pressed the advantage before she remembered she had been about to send him away.

"You've set the bar too high. After all the time I've spent with you, I could never settle for someone less."

The demon lord halted, realizing he wasn't measuring his words before speaking as he normally would; this was how mistakes happened, how people completely misunderstood the other's intentions. There were several uncomfortable seconds where neither said anything, and at last the unnamed instinct gave Sesshomaru a push to say _something_.

"All I'm trying to say," he did his best to give her a smile, "is that you don't need to worry; if I were going to take a mate, I would tell you first."

Rin smiled back. "I know; I had a little trouble believing it earlier this evening, but I'm all right now."

Sesshomaru breath an internal sigh of relief, but puzzlement overtook him a moment later. "You had determined that before I came?" he questioned.

"Oh yes, I've had plenty of opportunities for pondering tonight."

"Then why are you keeping me out?"

Rin looked guiltier than what seemed necessary. "I told you, it's untidy in here."

Sesshomaru's sensitive nose caught a whiff of something stirred as the human turned her head to look aside, and his pupils dilated as he recognized the scent of blood and charred flesh.

"Rin, what happened?" he asked with deadly seriousness.

The young woman was distracted by her wiggling toes. "Nothing I couldn't handle…."

The demon lord zeroed in on a fresh scratch along Rin's jaw, which he realized was the reason why she had held her head so oddly during this entire conversation. His hand instantly cradled her chin and turned her face for examination; the cut was nothing significant, but it confirmed she was hiding something.

"I'm not leaving until you let me in," he informed her.

Rin reluctantly pushed the door open all the way and stepped back. Sesshomaru assessed the information before him in a matter of seconds, from the pile of mangled furniture in the corner to the two fingers and matching bits of skin scattered near his feet; he also noted his companion's tight hold on her katana even at this very moment, despite the fact no one else was in the room.

"Who did this to you?" he growled, the all-too familiar sensation of anger starting to creep up from somewhere inside and out to his hands.

"I never saw him; he was waiting for me when I came back from the gathering."

The silver-haired demon cocked his head, as if to help him better separate one particular scent that had come to his attention apart from all the others. There could be no mistaking it, and the very thought prompted him to begin morphing into his battle form. Rin gasped and shook his arm in earnest.

"I'm all right, really!" she panickily insisted. "I promise all I got was the scratch."

Sesshomaru managed to bring the transformation back under control, but that didn't stop him from letting loose a bloodthirsty howl.

"My mother has been here," he snarled with undisguised hatred.

Rin gave a frightened nod, letting go of his arm. "Yes, she was, but she didn't arrange-"

"How do you know?" the demon lord demanded.

The young woman looked away in defeat. "She came in just after the fight; I think she heard you coming, which is why she wasn't here when you arrived. You only just missed her."

Sesshomaru motioned impatiently. "But how do you know this was not her doing?"

"She 'mentioned' to Chiyoko where my room was, and Chiyoko took it from there; your mother only came to see if I survived."

"It amounts to the same thing," Sesshomaru declared, drawing Bakusaiga as he turned for the doorway.

"Don't kill anyone over this," Rin begged.

The infuriated demon spoke over his shoulder as he stalked away. "They tried to kill you; they can't expect to attempt such a thing and survive."

The young woman only just caught his sleeve as he raised a foot over the threshold. He was committed to the next step until a voice laden with fear stopped him cold.

"Lord Sesshomaru, don't leave me."

He slowly looked back. Rin clutched at his kimono with white knuckles, her eyes wild with terror; she had seemed so brave only moments before, but suddenly now she was on the brink of collapse.

"I need you to stay," she stammered out, fatigue straining at her entire body. "People have tried to kill me, your mother said cruel and terrible things, I've been ignored and ridiculed for two very long and trying days…." The girl hooked her hands in her hair and stared up at the listener. "I just need to be around someone that I know cares about me; I don't want to be alone."

Sesshomaru withdrew his foot and silently closed the door. Glancing at the sword still in his hand, he incinerated the remains of his ward's assassin before sheathing the weapon and setting it to one side; he deposited his armor beside Bakusaiga after that, and only then did he fully turn back to the young woman before him. This time, he followed his instinct's whispers without hesitancy and folded his arms around Rin in a warm embrace, with one hand caressing her hair and the other resting on her hip. She was stock still in his grasp for only a second or two before melting entirely, falling against him as if it were the most natural thing in the world; Sesshomaru held her closer, willing his care and concern to somehow transfer from his hands into her, wanting her to feel the depth and magnitude of his sincerity.

His anger was forgotten entirely. Thoughts of revenge ceased to exist, and in spite of the upsetting events that had brought them to this point, the demon lord felt a great sense of peace settle over his troubled soul. Rin was safe, and for the moment that was all he needed to know; he could decide how to react tomorrow. After a time, he did allow his mind to bring one thought forward concerning his human's safety, and recognizing the validity of the point he gave voice to it.

"I won't leave you tonight," he informed the young woman quietly, still cradling her close. "Chiyoko is ruthless and brazen- she wouldn't hesitate to send another assailant if the fancy strikes her."

He felt a silent nod from the head pressed against his chest, and that was the end of the discussion. Sesshomaru didn't let go for a very long while; he lost track of the minutes, and didn't even know if the world beyond this room still existed or if it had been swallowed up by the mists of ages- while the two inside remained untouched by the ever-moving hand of time. At long last, however, he pulled Rin back and smiled down at her.

"You should probably get some sleep."

The girl gave him a look of regretful agreement. Sesshomaru lowered himself to the floor and set his back against the wall, taking up the role of sentry which he had acted out so many nights before. He was perfectly confident in his combat skills to intercept a would-be attacker long before the wretch could get to Rin in her bed, but he was not taking any chances tonight; he motioned to his companion and patted the empty floor between his knees. The young woman blushed and began to nervously twist her fingers.

"I'm sure I'll be safe enough-" she began.

Sesshomaru shook his head. "You are the exception to the rule too often; this is the only way to ensure the enemy comes to me first."

Rin hesitantly sat down in front of him, clearly unsure how to conduct herself. She was so noble and modest: two more qualities that made up part of her beauty. Sesshomaru gently rotated her until she faced directly away from him, at which point he guided her body back to lean against his chest; he set his sheathed sword across her lap, and then proceeded to cross both arms around the young woman protectively while keeping one hand loosely clasped around Bakusaiga's hilt.

"Rin, _relax_ ," he insisted, chuckling ever so slightly.

"It's…it's just not a position I ever expected to find myself in," the girl mumbled.

"Nor I," the demon lord answered. "We have to keep you safe though," he continued, keeping his tone light. "Besides, you did say you wanted me near."

Rin laughed, and Sesshomaru felt her curve against him a little easier. A minute later her head came to rest on his shoulder, and her silky hair touched his cheek. The silver-haired demon felt curiosity nibbling at him, and to his own surprise he asked the question in his mind.

"Rin…am I better at comforting you than I used to be? I know humans require so much more emotional attention than I am capable of understanding, but I've tried to apply what I've learned from you…."

The young woman let out a sympathetic little moan of some sort, as if she couldn't believe he had any doubts. She seized his hand and kissed it, holding it to her face tenderly.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru, I couldn't ask for more," she sighed happily. She suddenly let go and looked down. "Sorry, I forgot how you hate signs of affection."

Sesshomaru gestured to their nestled arrangement. "What do you think this is?"

There was no reply from the human, but the demon lord could feel her body heat rising; he reached up and set his hand to her forehead.

"You're growing warmer," he teased.

Rin snuggled against his larger frame. "I thought you wanted me to get some sleep?"

Sesshomaru chuckled again and tightened his grasp around her a little more. "Goodnight, Rin."

"Goodnight, Lord Sesshomaru."


	24. Chapter 23- Startling Accusations

**Chapter 23- Startling Accusations**

As soon as Rin was ready the next morning, Sesshomaru flagged down one of his mother's countless servants to inform Jaken to be ready to leave at a moment's notice; the little imp had been absent ever since their arrival at the castle, and his master had no desire to waste time tracking down the vassal when more pressing issues were at hand. The demon lord escorted Rin downstairs, keeping her easily within arm's reach all the while. No masked ninjas or otherwise unsavory characters sprang from the shadows as the two walked along, but Sesshomaru wasn't taking any chances- he dared not leave her alone even for the next few minutes while he attended to the last of his business here. He was debating how he could safely conduct the upcoming confrontation without the young woman actually being present in the room, but thankfully an alternative presented itself as they rounded the corner.

"Sesshomaru! I didn't realize you were still here," Riku greeted gaily.

 _Ah-ha._

"Hello, Riku. I was wondering if perhaps you could assist me."

The older demon drew himself up proudly. "Of course; I am always ready to lend myself to your service."

Sesshomaru gently guided Rin forward. "There was an aspiration to murder my companion last night-"

Riku appeared totally revulsed by the notion.

"-and I am on my way now to address it. I was hoping you would be so kind as to guard her until I return; it shouldn't take too long."

Riku nodded emphatically. "Absolutely! What a terrible thing to happen: I'm just glad you're all right, my dear." The demon gave Rin a pat on the head. "I will protect her with my life."

"It shouldn't come to that, but I appreciate the dedication."

Sesshomaru paced away before the young woman in question could argue. He was very proud of her in how she had taken a significant step toward mastering her sword's new powers, but he didn't want to count on that ability until it had been evidenced multiple times without hesitation. The dog demon stalked through the halls, bearing down on the room his mother was accustomed to frequenting this time of day, as she had for many a century. It was a chamber full of ancient armor, various trinkets and sprawling murals, all bearing witness to the heritage of the family and the lofty position they had occupied across the ages; the irony that such a place would host the ensuing conversation was not lost on Sesshomaru, but he was long past caring about the family name in the way he had been raised to do so. He stormed inside without any sort of announcement, his eyes trained only on the tall figure draped in purple as she stood among the tokens of a past decayed.

"Oh yes, the moment when you come to rail against the attempt on your human pet's life," Mother drawled in a bored manner, not even turning away from the tapestry she was examining. "Frankly, I expected you to hound after me as soon as you learned of it."

"The only reason I didn't," Sesshomaru rumbled gutturally, "is because Rin was too frightened to be left alone after the ordeal you put her through."

Mother gave a one-syllable laugh. "Come, my son, surely you don't expect me to feel guilty for any consternation I caused some hapless mortal?"

Her son closed the distance between them in ground-eating strides and planted himself mere inches away, glaring at her with no pretense of respect for his sole remaining parent.

"Why would you provoke me so?" he snarled.

"I'm your mother: I know what is best for you," the demoness replied with a roll of her eyes, drifting away to the next piece of memorabilia.

"I am not some child that needs to be shown right from wrong, or which side of the blade is the sharp one; I don't need you to tell me with whom I can associate."

"But like that blade, the mortal is dangerous nonetheless."

Sesshomaru looked at her scornfully. "Rin is no danger to me."

His mother turned sharply. "Isn't she? Your time is constantly stolen away as you look after her in some respect- whether it be through rescuing her from trouble or turning aside to suit some silly whim of hers -and your ridiculous attachment to her is causing you to alienate those who might have otherwise been allies. Lord Masato was speechless after your mortifying display in the grand hall, and prior to last night he had been intending to offer you a handsome pact that would have benefitted your empire immensely."

"My association with Rin is no one's business but my own," the demon lord roared back, causing a nearby suit of ceremonial armor to quiver on its stand. "I have promised her a place by my side for as long as she will have it, and I will not retract that vow for anything."

Mother flung her hands up in frustration. "Can you not hear yourself?" she demanded. "How can you not be horrified by your own insanity?" She stepped closer but did not lower her voice. "You're throwing away what you've worked for all your life, all for the sake of some _mortal_! What can she offer you?"

Sesshomaru coldly stared back. "I will not discuss her invaluable impact with someone who refuses to even entertain the suggestion that she has worth despite her human blood."

"At least your father had the decency to keep his filthy mortal lover far removed from our world," the demoness shouted. "But you!" Her golden eyes were fraught with accusation. "My beloved only son… _you_ brought yours into my very home! Anyone else would have cremated that girl the moment she set foot on my steps, so why wouldn't I be supportive of Chiyoko's actions? You have disgraced me."

"Your quarrel is with me alone- you cannot punish Rin for my choices. And she is not my lover."

Mother took on an unsettlingly knowing countenance. "No?" she asked in a much softer tone, but no less deadly. "Perhaps you don't view her that way now, but you're perilously close to the line; you could easily cross over without even realizing you had."

Sesshomaru struggled not to give the impression he was affronted by the notion. "I am not-" he began.

"Regardless of what you may feel towards her, she is clearly hopelessly in love with you," his mother continued. "It practically oozes from her very pores."

Now Sesshomaru was truly having a difficult time keeping up his usual unruffled appearance. Rin didn't feel _that_ way about him…did she? He shook his head vigorously to clear the preposterous idea away, an act that did not go unnoticed.

"You are surprised?" Mother gloated. "Honestly, you wouldn't recognize love if it danced around wildly and bit you on the nose. Yes, your little human yearns for you as so many other women have over the centuries, but you're too blind to see it. How could you recognize something you've never felt yourself?"

The demon lord felt the tightly woven threads of his commitment to their argument rapidly unravel as his mind pursued this newfound avenue of thought. He had always known somewhere in the very dark outer recesses of consciousness that Rin loved him, but he associated it more on the level of the love a child had for a father or something similar, and no doubt when she was younger she had felt just that…but if one was to believe his mother, it sounded as if that same love had borne new blossoms that were of a much more romantic and intimate nature.

"She would know better than to do something so foolish," Sesshomaru answered at last, realizing he had said nothing to defend himself in the last three minutes.

"Love isn't something you can turn off and on at will, my son; once it's taken hold of your heart, there is nothing you can do to loose its grasp." Mother shrugged nonchalantly. "If you're so certain she has no such feelings for you, ask her; you claim she is always so honest and forthright, so talking about it will be a simple enough task."

"I do not need advice from you, Mother."

"I will give it anyway," the dog demoness said high-handedly. "Immortals such as us were never meant to have relationships with the mortals. They are too fragile and their lives too short to be of any real use to us, aside from some mindless pleasure, perhaps; if you wish to bed the girl, I suggest you do so sooner rather than later. Her prime will only be a few short decades compared to your immortality."

Sesshomaru could not contain his outrage at hearing Rin referred to in such a callous manner. "You speak of her as if she were an object without soul or feelings," he seethed. "What happened to not wanting disgrace brought to your name?"

His mother looked completely nonplussed. "You cannot drag it through the mud more than you have already. You are still my son despite your insistence on defying me, and I want your needs to be satisfied; if you're bound and determined to keep the girl with you, you may as well take the pleasures she offers. Such interaction may even finally awaken the desire for a mate, so once Rin is dead and gone you will be compelled to find a demoness worthy of you."

"I will not listen to this," Sesshomaru declared in fury, stalking toward the door. "You will not see my face again unless you learn to give Rin the respect she deserves."

"In sixty years or so, it won't matter anymore. I have no quarrel with a dead woman."

The demon lord felt a livid and primal growl tear from his throat, and as he exited the room he struck the nearest column at full force with the back of his fist. The heavy stone crumpled like paper in a clean line straight through the center, and a moment later the entire top half of the column fell away and crashed to the floor with crushing force. The castle was too well-built for such an act to truly endanger it, and Sesshomaru knew at most it would only cause his mother minor inconvenience. He marched forcefully, propelled by a brooding frown and repulsion that his mother could be so detached as she described his dearest treasure as nothing more than a prostitute; how could she possibly think he would ever treat Rin in such a way? He would hate himself for the rest of his life if he ever used her so.

There were footsteps ahead, and Chiyoko came into view. Sesshomaru envisioned the satisfaction he would take in ripping her limb from limb, but the notion was quashed as he reminded himself that Rin had begged him not to kill her; as much as he wanted revenge, the temporary pleasure wasn't worth the anguish it would cause the young woman when she found out. Chiyoko was staring very determinedly before her, almost as if (for once in her life) she was ignoring the silver-haired demon; perhaps she had heard his warlike cry earlier and feared it was announcing the hunt for those who had wronged him. It was an incredibly rare thing for her to be afraid of anyone, but a wrathful dog demon just might make the list.

As they drew abreast of one another Sesshomaru's hand shot out faster than lightning, and he closed his longer fingers around Chiyoko's throat. He lifted her off the floor and roughly flung her against a column, pinning her there within his grasp as he let his claws sink deep; he squeezed hard enough to make breathing very difficult, and leaned in close with a murderous tone.

"You would be dead already if I hadn't promised Rin I would spare you," he hissed, tightening his grip further. "Let this serve as a reminder that if you should ever try again in _any_ way to cause her harm I will not hesitate to slaughter you, and no amount of pleading from her will be enough to keep me from cleaving you in two."

Chiyoko's eyes were bulging at this point. Sesshomaru's claws raked across her neck as he yanked his hand back, dropping her to the floor in a broken heap. He let his contemptuous glare linger for a few seconds before finally pushing himself to walk forward once again; his obligations here were done, and he wanted to put as much distance as possible between himself and this castle before nightfall.

* * *

The miles stretched further and further behind them as the demon lord and his party flew through the sky, and in a matter of hours they were countless leagues away from anything that could possibly be termed as territory of a particular dog demoness. Sesshomaru was still incensed over his mother's coarse talk earlier about Rin, but for all his holy wrath over such a base suggestion the larger portion of his thoughts remained on the idea that this young woman harbored certain feelings for him; the mere proposal was ludicrous, and yet he couldn't quite let the subject go. Why would she ever feel that way? He was so much older than her, and as solemn as she was talkative- wouldn't she desire someone far more like herself? It didn't make sense in the slightest for her to want him in that way; his mother had planted this lie to torment him and sow doubts where they did not need to exist.

 _It isn't quite as big a leap in logic as you make it sound,_ a corner of his mind offered. _You already know Rin has pledged undying loyalty, and her affection toward you is without boundaries; is it really so hard to believe she has grown to love you differently than before?_

No, he could not dare to accept such a suggestion. If he did…where would he go from there? Was he supposed to ignore this knowledge, if it were indeed truth? And how did he feel about her, in return?

 _Of course I don't love her,_ he hastily answered. _She means the world to me, yes, but that doesn't mean I…I could never…._

His vehement reply ambled off and faded away as it dawned upon Sesshomaru that if he had no idea what love felt like in the first place, there was no way for him to recognize it if he _did_ feel it. His mother had been right to accuse him of total unfamiliarity with the sensation. What if-? A chilling possibility settled over his heart, and he began to experience genuine panic.

 _The feeling that's been haunting me all this time, the one that rises up whenever I look at her or hold her close, the one that interlocks so perfectly with instinct and prompts me to say or do things I never thought I could…the one I haven't put a name to._

He shoved the hypothesis away frantically, desperately wishing he could unthink what he had just thought. No, that couldn't be the answer! Love was the deadliest weakness of all, something he had sworn from an early age would never be able to touch him; it was a shallow comfort reserved for fools, a senseless construct which humans looked to for meaning in their short and often miserable lives. It was the cause of his father's downfall.

 _I refuse to fall into that same trap. My will has always been unbreakable._

 _But you said it yourself just last night,_ the other side of his consciousness reminded steadily. _Rin is the exception to the rule, every time._

Sesshomaru cast a cautious glance at the girl as she giggled and bid A-Un to buck some more to further terrify the little green imp clutching the saddle behind her. Even in his present turbulent state of mind, the demon lord found his heart warmed by his simple act of refreshing his memory of her; this was immediately followed by further mental flogging, beating back the nagging suspicions over and over, demanding he dismiss the ridiculous accusations against himself once and for all. He was incapable of love, and he would never experience it. He had promised himself he would never fall prey to it and by the heavens, he kept his promises! He had beaten countless enemies throughout his life without fail, and he would defeat this just the same.

"Love isn't something you can turn off and on at will," Mother's voice hissed in his ears. "Once it's taken hold of your heart, there is nothing you can do to loose its grasp."

Over the next hour Sesshomaru sped through the clouds in total outward silence, but inside the war continued to wage with extreme ferocity. He used every tactic and argument he could possibly envision to reason himself out of this corner and unequivocally set his mind at ease that he did not love Rin, but none of his explanations could completely satisfy the dastardly taunting sense that he was- for once -utterly wrong. By the time their fluffy surroundings began to take on an orangey pink tinge the demon lord was mentally exhausted and decided to postpone the battle for the time being; he drifted over till he was flying alongside Rin, who per usual was gazing around at the world as if this were the first time she'd ever seen it. Her wonder was renewed every day at even the smallest things in life, always providing her with something to be thankful for or capture her imagination- it was charming to witness.

"I'm sorry this trip had to be so unpleasant," Sesshomaru commented. "If I had known just how violently Mother would react, I would never have put you through this."

Rin stroked A-Un's manes. "I don't blame you for what happened, and besides," she smiled at him, "I got to catch a glimpse of a part of your life I've always wondered about."

Sesshomaru again heard his mother in his mind, now challenging him to outright ask Rin about her own feelings. He greatly suspected that was not the way these things were handled, but inquisitiveness was gnawing at him horribly; wasn't there some way to ask her without being so incredibly blunt? He'd never had a problem with being blunt in the past, except when-

 _I'm tired of realizing that one exception over and over,_ he mentally moaned.

"Why _do_ you stay with me?" he found himself asking.

The young woman cocked her head to the side. "We've had this conversation before, multiple times," she replied good-naturedly. "Why would my answer be any different now?"

Sesshomaru at last saw a way to use this branch of conversation to his advantage. He made a conscious effort to not sound interrogating or overly curious.

"I remember your answers from the past," he said calmly. "I suppose after the last few days I just have some trouble fully understanding your…devotion to this path."

"I'll never let anyone keep me from being with you."

"But why?" the demon lord queried in a tone he hoped belied his earnestness. "What could possibly compel you to stay when you know there will always be someone to mock us or want to harm you because you're human?"

Rin watched her hands trace the dragon's scales. "You're more important to me than someone's smallminded opinion."

Sesshomaru felt his instincts twitch: she'd looked away when she answered him. The only time Rin ever did that was when she felt ashamed or embarrassed in some way; she never felt the need to avert her eyes when they were having innocent conversation. She only looked away when she was trying to hide something. The hunter began to awaken, sensing that what he wanted was suddenly wishing to make an escape, and he wondered how far he could safely push the situation.

"Rin, you've seen me kill countless times. I don't give you nearly the amount of attention you need, and you know I was once determined to slay my own father as well as my half-brother over a sword. What can you find amongst all that worth your concern or care?"

"There's a whole lot more to you than just those things," the girl declared. "You're purposefully trying to make yourself look bad."

Misdirection! Sesshomaru felt his intrigue growing exponentially with every second.

"You're side-stepping. I want to know why you care."

Rin started playing with the reins, and it seemed she was having a hard time not appearing flustered. She was very obviously not making eye contact now, watching the leather in her hands, the clouds, Jaken's sleeping form she had safely nestled between the dragon's necks… _anywhere_ but at her questioner.

"It would take forever for me to list it all," she mumbled, still madly twisting and untwisting the reins. "You have many admirable qualities, even if you don't see them."

"Such as?"

Her cheeks were beginning to turn pink- or was that just the setting sun's reflected glow?

"You're kind, and selfless; simply being around you makes me so happy…."

She suddenly looked like she wanted to jump off A-Un's back. Her eyes glanced over for a split-second, and then she hastily crossed her arms to restrain her fidgeting.

"Why are you asking me all this anyway?" Rin huffed. "I don't see a point in this."

They'd reached her limit. Sesshomaru drew away and descended toward the blanket of clouds far beneath their feet.

"I am simply attempting to understand humans better," he casually responded.

It wasn't simple at all. His previous turmoil returned, now fueled by this discovery of Rin's reluctance to admit what kept her by his side. He wanted to press the subject harder than ever, to corner her and refuse to do anything else until she'd truly answered his question, but he didn't have the heart to follow through when it was so very obvious she did not want to have this conversation.

 _Why, Rin?_ he thought with a sad observance of the now silent mortal. _Why can't you tell me what you feel?_

He'd have to back off for a few days, he decided. As torturous as it would be from his perspective, he had to give her a chance to calm down and find a way to explain to herself why he had questioned her so; if he didn't bring the matter up again right away, the young woman would no doubt accept the eventual conclusion that he was just riled up by his mother. Her level of defense would recede to its usual height, the desire to hide would fade…and the demon lord would make for a second assault before Rin knew what was happening. Sesshomaru loathed to apply battle terms to the situation, but he could find no other way to view it: he was at war with himself as well as the human's stubborn will, and he would not be able to rest until a resolution could be reached.


	25. Chapter 24- Forever Altered

**Chapter 24- Forever Altered**

"Jaken, are you sure you understand your assignment?"

The imp nodded vigorously. "Oh yes, my lord! I am sure your mother simply ate some bad fruit or something similar that impaired her judgement; I will shed light on this matter in no time."

Sesshomaru eyed their target some fifty yards away as she paddled her feet in the stream that ran beneath her.

"This is a reconnaissance, nothing more- you are _not_ to criticize in any way or otherwise defend me against her."

"I will be the subtlest spy the world has even seen," Jaken assured his master. "She will never suspect a thing."

It had been a week since Sesshomaru's attempt to delve behind the wall Rin had set before him. She seemed to have no hard feelings whatsoever on the matter, gaily skipping and chatting each day as always, but the demon lord had wanted to make absolutely certain the event had sufficiently faded from recent memory before he broached the subject again. During that time he had hardly thought of anything else but this present mystery, and it was a wonder to him he had not burst from the suspense that filled him. This morning he departed from their camp as if to slay a neighboring demon, but the moment Rin had wandered off to entertain herself Sesshomaru returned and informed his vassal of a plan; Jaken was supplied with only the knowledge absolutely necessary to his part, which meant he knew nothing of the million anxious thoughts pounding through his lord's mind.

"Remember, Jaken: you must tell me everything she says. If you leave anything out, I will cut you into such tiny pieces an ant wouldn't be able to make a meal off of you."

The demon lord watched as the imp slipped away into the bushes. Once the vassal was halfway to Rin, Sesshomaru began to follow stealthily, gliding from tree to tree as a shadow; he trusted Jaken to recall the words themselves, but he knew the way they were said could make all the difference, and the only way to hear that was by eavesdropping. Of course, if Jaken knew he was being observed he would no doubt be incredibly nervous, hence the reason Sesshomaru was tailing his own servant. The imp strolled to the log Rin was sitting on, looking very innocent and not at all like he had any ulterior motives; Sesshomaru put himself within ample hearing distance and settled against a large oak, wondering hopelessly if this would work…and what he might learn.

"I guess we can safely say summertime has started," Jaken gave for his opening line. "My, my, feel that heat!"

"You can sit with me," Rin offered, scooting further down the log. "I don't think your legs are long enough to reach the water, though."

The imp plopped onto the wood. "Perhaps not, but being near the water is better than nothing." He turned amiably to his companion. "How are you today?"

Sesshomaru felt the corners of his mouth pull downward very quickly. Surely Jaken knew better than to ask such an out-of-character question? Rin squinted a little, the slightest trace of suspicion crossing over her.

"Why do you ask?"

Jaken looked a little less confident. "Well, I mean, you seemed a little down this morning. I thought perhaps you were having one of "those days" you have every once in a while."

The young woman gave him a silent appraisal before shrugging. "Just be glad you're not a girl, Master Jaken; it can be really annoying sometimes."

"I'm sure, I'm sure," the demon hastily affirmed. "That was why I came."

Rin frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jaken floundered for a response, and the hidden observer began to suspect this had not been the best plan after all. The imp seemed to have a sudden flash of inspiration and babbled out an answer.

"I know women like to chat with other females about their problems and feelings; I realized you haven't had another woman to gab with in ages, and no doubt you have a lot on your mind after everything at the palace last week. I thought maybe I could help."

Rin raised an eyebrow with sardonic amusement. "You think of yourself as a woman, now?"

The little green demon swallowed his offense admirably. "Of course not; I simply want to ease your mind of its weight."

"Why the sudden concern?" the human asked shrewdly. "I thought you just tolerated me."

Jaken feigned horror. "We may have our differences, Rin, but even I have compassion. You seemed rather sad, and I was worried."

Rin didn't say anything for a time. She stared down at the water swirling around her ankles, undoubtedly weighing the offer and searching for hidden meaning; the imp sat patiently, looking every inch the concerned friend who simply wanted to offer a listening ear. He raised his hand as if to pat the girl's arm, but seemed to think better of it before he could follow through.

"I appreciate your worry, Jaken," the young woman said at last, "but this is really personal, and I don't think telling you about it will make things any better."

 _So, something_ _is_ _on her mind, then._

"You can tell me," the toad-ish demon replied easily, offering some bread he'd apparently brought with him.

Rin accepted the food and took a slow bite. "But it won't make things any different," she said quietly, as if to herself.

"Oh, pish-posh! I always feel _so_ much better after I've spoken my mind."

"Which you do on a daily basis," Rin answered wryly.

Sesshomaru unconsciously smiled- he had just thought the exact same thing.

"My dear girl, give me some credit: how many times have I protected you at the risk of my own life? How many times have I sounded the alarm when an enemy was about to attack you?" Jaken dabbed at his eyes dramatically. "I still think about when you were a little girl and went at your own peril to find the Sennenso berries to heal me from Naraku's poisonous insects; you were so brave for one so young, facing down a horde of demons all for the sake of someone who only ever nagged at you." He blew his nose. "I'm only trying to be here for you as you were for me that day, but maybe…maybe I've been too cruel for too long for you to trust me."

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes at such dreadful theatrical tactics. Rin always saw through Jaken's hyperbole in an instant; there was no way she would believe him now after such a ridiculous speech.

"Master Jaken," the young woman whispered, watching the imp wipe away his crocodile tears. "I had no idea."

 _She must truly be upset if she fell for that,_ the demon lord thought with some concern. _Is it right to take advantage of her in such a state?_

"If I tell you, how can I know you'll keep it to yourself?"

Sesshomaru instantly forgot about any and all moral dilemmas.

"Me, betray your trust?" Jaken gasped, putting a hand to his heart. "You insult my honor."

Rin gave him a serious gaze. "Swear it. Swear to me on your undying allegiance to Lord Sesshomaru that you will never tell a soul."

"Er…" Jaken gulped, casting a nervous glance around.

"You have to _promise_."

"I, uh, I promise," the little demon weakly replied.

The young woman beside him nodded solemnly. "It's like this," she began. "Lord Sesshomaru's mother came to me the night of the council; she said all sorts of terrible and awful things to me, and it's been bothering me ever since."

"What did she say?"

Rin sighed. "It was like she could read my mind. She said out loud all the fears and worries I've ever had about Lord Sesshomaru in my darkest moments, the thoughts that have darted through for an instant but I've chased away- that I might cause his death because he will always protect me no matter what, that I'm distracting him from his goals…."

Her voice dropped so low Sesshomaru almost missed the rest of her words.

"…And that I will never be good enough for him."

Not good enough? For what? Rin was the most perfectly well-behaved person Sesshomaru had ever met; how could she think she still left something to be desired? Jaken didn't seem to understand either.

"In what way?" he quested.

Rin gave a small, sad smile. "Lord Sesshomaru…he'll never see me as something more than I am to him now. I can wish for it with all my might, but he'll never…he'd never consider me as a potential mate."

Any lingering doubts were obliterated then and there. Sesshomaru's world turned upside-down, and he knew there was no going back to the way it had been before. A thousand new thoughts burst upon his fractured mind with blinding force. How? When? _Why?_

"He would NEVER!" Jaken screamed, forgetting his cover. "You're human!"

"I know that!" Rin angrily stood up, glaring at the green imp. "Why do you think I'm upset? It's because I _know_ he will never love me, and I have to live with that! I will love Lord Sesshomaru until my last breath, and I can't do anything about it. Do you have any idea how hard that is? There are days I can hardly contain my feelings at all-" She stopped herself and unexpectedly sat back down to bury her face in her hands. "But contain them I must."

The little demon beside her apparently remembered the façade he was supposed to be presenting. He awkwardly patted the girl's shoulder and sympathetically tsked.

"I'm sorry, Rin. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just…you have to realize how-"

"It's impossible," she finished, sniffling. "I know. I realized that a long time ago."

Despite the sorrow in her voice there were no tears, as if she'd already wrung them all out for this subject a long time ago. She gave Jaken an affectionate squeeze.

"It's not your fault. His mother reopened the wounds, but they'll scar up eventually, again." Rin took a deep breath. "And now, if you don't mind, I think I might take a bath. It won't change a thing, but I still want to look my best when he comes back."

Jaken made his goodbyes and scuttled away. He found his master a few minutes later, but when he opened his mouth no words emerged; he was torn between two loyalties, bound to serve his lord above all others and yet guilted by the memory of the promise he had made to someone who had trusted him in her complete despair. He gurgled and mumbled in agony, hardly daring to meet the golden stare bearing down on him with crushing strength, until at last Sesshomaru turned and walked away.

"That will be all, Jaken."

* * *

Sesshomaru was numb for the next couple of days. He had always been one to spend a significant amount of his time deep in thought, mulling over and dissecting every little piece of information that came his way: it was his way of processing the world around him. He now realized that not long after Rin's rejoining him this habit was relied upon even more than usual, and more times than not those musings were somehow connected to the human; her very companionship challenged too many of the beliefs he'd held for centuries, and every day brought new opportunities for her to further capture his thoughts. At present, however, his thoughts were not so much captive as they were petrified. The innerworkings of his mind which normally ran with razor-sharp precision- able to assess any situation, calculate risks, invent and implement the solution all in blindingly rapid succession -all of it was shut down, dead in the water, silent.

The sole thought that brokenly swam through his consciousness was the one thing he did not want to give any attention to. He stared ahead with unseeing eyes, desperate to distract himself from the piece of knowledge, straining to find _anything_ else but that to meditate upon; he could not give it more attention than he already had- it was what had caused this mental shutdown in the first place. The demon lord knew Rin had noticed how severely withdrawn he had become recently, and he wished he were capable of disguising his distractedness. So far she had not inquired too much about the matter, but he knew if she received much more one-syllable answers she would eventually speak out.

 _She is in love with me._

Sesshomaru inwardly groaned as the lone thought flickered anew throughout his mind. Could he get no rest? Curse it all, he already _knew_ she loved him; what he really needed to consider was…what did he do now? He could not ignore this revelation, but in order to resolve it he needed to identify what his feelings were, and that terrified him more than anything. He cared deeply for the girl, and he knew there was no one else he would rather spend his time with; she made his heart full and content in a way it had never felt in his entire life, and (before he went into this recent state of shellshock) a great part of his mind had been occupied with ideas of how to better show her affection.

 _But…does all of that have to necessarily mean that I love her as well?_

He couldn't believe he was even entertaining the notion, but morbid curiosity declared he could not move past this issue until he answered that question.

 _I can't be in love with her,_ he wearily told himself, _I simply can't be. If I were, everything between us would change…and I don't know what would happen._

 _In other words, you're afraid. You're afraid of admitting you were wrong when you swore you would never fall, and you're afraid of the unknown an intimate relationship would bring._

Sesshomaru didn't even have the strength to argue with himself anymore.

 _Yes. I am afraid._

"Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Mm?"

"What's the matter?"

The demon lord watched the road stoically. "Nothing."

"But you've hardly said a word in two days, and you look downright ill. Maybe you should rest."

"I'm fine."

Rin pressed her index fingers together worriedly. "Have I done something to offend you?" she asked in a small voice.

 _I can't let her torment herself with imagined guilt. Come on, talk to her!_

"No, Rin; I am simply very preoccupied."

The young woman unexpectedly reached up and set her hand to Sesshomaru's forehead. In his consternation the tiny gesture actually made him nervous, and his heart began to beat faster by the mere touch of her skin to his.

"I don't think you're running a fever- you're almost clammy, to be honest." Rin lightly took hold of his sleeve. "Please tell me what's wrong."

 _Don't look at her, don't look at her-_

Sesshomaru looked at her. Despite the fact she was once again dressed in a plainer kimono, her beauty had not faded in his eyes since that fateful night of the council. It was the crowning jewel to the purest soul he had seen walk this earth, casting a spell over him and inexorably drawing him closer than he ever thought he could be with another person. She had secretly given him her heart with no expectation to ever gain anything in return…and she believed he had no knowledge of this. He had no desire to cheapen that freely-offered gift by lying, but how could he possibly talk about any of this with her? He had no idea where he would even start. Rin brightened suddenly.

"I bet I know why you're so down!" she exclaimed. "You're subconsciously reliving what you were feeling this time last year."

The silver-haired demon looked at her with a silent question.

"It was a year ago that Jiri nearly killed me."

Sesshomaru could hardly believe it. She'd been with him an entire year already? It felt like hardly any time had passed at all.

 _Well, you ARE immortal, after all,_ an inner voice said snidely. _A human year is nothing to you._

Perhaps it was for the best he let her think she was right. He forced himself to give a small smile.

"You are probably right, of course," he replied, patting the hand that still grasped him.

The motion died away and his hand settled over hers. Rin looked back at him, her dark eyes beckoning and enlivening his senses in a way they'd never previously been used; it was the unnamed instinct, but this was a different facet he had not experienced before. For lack of a better way to put it the feeling almost seemed akin to hunger, but not in the sense of requiring nourishment. He _needed_ her, needed to hold her tight, needed to find some way to express all the things he'd ever felt toward her- Sesshomaru forced himself to speak to stop the building tide.

"If it has indeed been a year, then that means your birthday was last month."

Rin smiled shyly. "Yes; I think it was somewhere around the time we were encamped by the sea."

The demon lord felt a pang of guilt for forgetting: he knew birthdays meant a lot to humans.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked, willing his hand to let go and wondering why it wouldn't obey.

"Oh, it's just a birthday…."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "We must do something to celebrate it, as well as the fact you've put up with Jaken for an entire year."

"What was that?" a high-pitched voice rasped behind them.

"I know what we can do," the demon lord announced, picking Rin up under the arms and setting her on A-Un.

He took to the skies, his gray mind slowly coming back to life a little. He knew he couldn't avoid the pressing matter much longer, but for tonight he would let himself be lost in trying to give Rin a special memory he knew she would appreciate. He owed her that much, at least.


	26. Chapter 25- The Forest of Light

**A/N:** The song didn't inspire this scene, but I found Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" very applicable to the first portion of this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 25- The Forest of Light**

Twilight was just beginning to give way to the darkness when they landed. Sesshomaru helped Rin to dismount from the dragon before giving Jaken the implicit instructions to watch over his swords and armor, which he promptly deposited in the open-mouthed imp's arms.

"B-but milord, you never go anywhere without your armor and weapons!" Jaken stuttered in total shock.

"No instruments of war are allowed where we're going," the demon lord answered as he walked away. "It is a place of peace."

The imp mumbled and jabbered until he had faded from view. Rin's head turned side to side as they walked, her eyes eagerly attempting to catch a glimpse of wherever they were going.

"I'm so excited, Lord Sesshomaru," she giggled.

He heard the amusement in his own voice. "You don't even know where we're going."

"It doesn't matter; I'm just excited we're doing something like this."

They made their way through the knee-high grass, their path occasionally lit by a passing firefly. A handful of stars were beginning to emerge overhead, but with no moon to guide them the world was growing darker every second, and the darkness only increased when they entered a large group of woods. There was a slight grunt as Rin bumped her feet against an offending root.

"I'll never understand how you can see so well in the dark," she declared.

Sesshomaru took a deep breath and reached behind him until he felt her outstretched fingers as they quested in the void to ward off more obstructions.

"I will be eyes for us both, then."

Their hands curled around one another and the two continued their journey. It was very quiet, with hardly even a breeze to stir the surrounding branches; it was as if the trees themselves watched the white-robed figure as he gently led his companion further into the woods, silently whispering to one another their astonishment in seeing him here. After quite some time the eaves ahead appeared lighter than before, and Rin noticed it.

"What is that?"

"You'll see."

The faint glow grew minutely brighter with each step, prompting Rin to walk a little faster as they drew closer. They broke through the tree line to a wide strip of inordinately green grass, and the young woman gasped as she saw what lay beyond. It was another forest, but the trees bore only numerous blossoms trailing in long graceful tendrils on a gentle breeze; more astonishingly, the menagerie of pink, purple, and white flowers were the source of the glowing light. The radiance of so many blossoms combined threw everything into the same clarity as the evening sun in all its glory- though a simple glance directly upwards showed it was still night, which was an eerie sight indeed.

"What is this place?" Rin breathed out slowly, her gaze captured by the ethereal scene.

Sesshomaru was pleased he had guessed correctly that she would like it. "The name has long been forgotten. My father showed it to me once when I was very young, and I have not returned since; it seemed like something you would enjoy."

The young woman gave him a happy grin. "It's the best birthday present ever!"

The demon lord motioned her forward. "You'll like it even more once you're actually inside."

"Is it okay for me to be here?" the girl inquired hesitantly. "Is it sacred ground or something?"

"No. As long as you bring nothing of threat, the barrier will allow you to pass."

They stepped under the enchanted eaves. The moment he did so, Sesshomaru felt his heart grow incredibly light and all his recent turmoil melt away to nothing. He'd had some difficulty recalling his first trip since he was so very young at the time, but he did remember his father explaining that one completely lost their inhibitions while here: the soul was freed to its truest state, unfettered from all negativity. The demon lord later suspected his father had hoped the forest would leave a lasting impression on his son, perhaps make him a little less serious and a little more open to laughter and joy, but if that had been the intention it failed. Sesshomaru watched as the sparkle grew even brighter in Rin's eyes; she laughed as she reached out to catch the petals on the wind before spinning in circles multiple times.

"This is amazing!" she cried ecstatically. "And look, there are even more!"

It was true: the ground beneath their feet was covered in nothing but a carpet of golden flowers. They were enveloped by light and color on every side, all intertwined together in one awe-inspiring picture of beauty and tranquility. Rin gently trailed a foot through the blossoms beneath her.

"Ooh, they're the silkiest petals I've ever felt. Lord Sesshomaru, take your shoes off."

Sesshomaru was not one to walk around barefoot; he found it a silly and unnecessary notion, and most unfitting for one of high rank. Right now, however, no such thought even crossed his mind, and he obligingly removed his shoes- if the ground was pleasant to the touch, why shouldn't he experience it? He stooped down and plucked a flower from the earth, inhaling the sweet perfume from the delicate golden bloom before tucking it into Rin's hair behind her ear. The young woman laughed gaily and skipped away.

"Bet you can't catch me," she sang in a teasing manner.

Sesshomaru humored her and moved more at what he assumed was a fairly normal human pace. He'd let himself get close and pretend he was about to grab her, which prompted Rin to giggle again and whisk herself out of reach; several times the demon lord materialized in front of her from nowhere, causing the girl to let out a squeal and make a mad dash to get away. All around he chased her, until at last he caught her around the waist and pulled her to the ground, where they both dissolved into chuckles.

"I'm so very glad you came back for me," Rin sighed happily, rolling to her back to gaze at the canopy of blossoms far above. "I don't want to imagine a life without you."

"Nor I you," Sesshomaru answered, shifting sideways until he was right beside her.

"How much did you miss me while I lived with Kaede?"

Sesshomaru lightly traced her cheek. "With all my heart, though I did not fully realize it at the time."

The young woman pressed closer and leaned against his shoulder. "Me too."

A long while passed where they did not speak. Existence in and of itself was enough, allowing them to purely enjoy one another's company and the glory that surrounded them. Sesshomaru didn't think twice about the fact that his right arm was now underneath Rin and curled around so his hand could rest on her hip, or the fact his other fingers were comfortably interlaced with hers; his mind was filled only with thoughts of how incredibly grateful he was to have this human near, and how he wanted to make her life as wonderful as it could possibly be. After a time Rin stood up, her head inclined as if listening.

"Do you hear the music?"

The demon lord had not noticed it before, but now that she drew his attention to it he could hear a slow and lovely tone that seemed to come from the trees themselves; it was a basic melody with little variation, but nonetheless was pleasant to the ears. Rin began to sway to the music, her eyes closed as she learned the tune. Suddenly she caught Sesshomaru's arm and hauled him up.

"Please dance with me, Lord Sesshomaru," she implored.

"I was never taught how."

The young woman took his hands. "Neither was I. Kagome showed me a little bit about dancing from her time; it's very different from now."

She moved side to side as she held his hands, humming along with the music in the air. Sesshomaru shuffled his feet back and forth obligingly, trying to grasp the concept of this foreign art form; his confidence built before long and he began to steer Rin gently across the flowered ground, gradually rotating as they went. The world spun in a glowing haze around them, but the dancers' eyes were only on each other. Both saw before them the person that mattered more than anything or anyone else, and that was all they needed. Eventually they slowed to a halt, and with a contented sigh Rin slipped her hands into her partner's hair and kissed his cheek.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I love you so much," she whispered before pulling away.

The confession didn't send the demon lord's mind into a mad spiral or strike terror into his being. It was the most wonderful thing she could have said, and he affectionately squeezed her shoulders.

"In that case, I think you misjudged your aim slightly," he replied.

The response came naturally, without hesitation or a second thought. Sesshomaru inclined his head toward the young woman and placed a tenderly heartfelt kiss upon her lips; Rin set her palms against his chest and kissed him right back, a soft moan escaping her as she did so. Sesshomaru let his arms wrap around her form and pulled her closer, pressing his mouth deeper against hers. A warm ecstasy coursed through his entire body like liquid sunlight, and he knew this was the connection he had yearned for with her; _this_ was how he wanted to show his affection to her. Eventually their lips parted, but they remained in that intimate embrace for much longer. Sesshomaru brushed the girl's hair over and over, rocking back and forth as his eyes closed and his mind burned the memory of the evening into his thoughts for all time- he was determined to never forget a single detail of this second trip.

Eventually Rin grew heavier against him, and the demon lord saw she was practically asleep on her feet; he remembered being similarly affected when he was younger- the peaceful atmosphere often soothed its visitors to sleep before too long. He gathered the young woman up in his arms and headed for the border of this otherworldly place; despite her sleepiness, Rin put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek again. Sesshomaru smiled and stole another kiss from her as he continued walking.

"You _can_ kiss me elsewhere, you know," he teased.

Rin yawned and closed her eyes, mumbling a response that really couldn't be made out. The demon lord cradled her nearer still to his heart and moved on, watching as one or two glimpses of black began to appear between the glowing trunks ahead. Ah, they were nearing the edge now. He stepped out into the night once again and instantly froze, his mind suddenly reeling as it reverted to its usual patterns and opinions; it was processing all that had happened this evening as if it were happening for the first time, but instead of feeling bliss and peace it reacted with complete horror and confusion. Sesshomaru could hardly bring himself to look down at the sleeping girl he now clutched, his mind bombarding him with all the reasons why he was wrong to have entertained the thoughts he'd had. He was ashamed of his foolish actions, repulsed by the far-too mortal feelings he had felt so strongly only moments before.

 _I am better than all that!_ he internally cried out.

The memory of Rin eagerly pressing her lips to his and the immeasurable pleasure it brought him burned hot, standing out in stark contrast to the lies he insisted on telling himself. The forest did not intoxicate or deceive in any way- it simply removed any and all barriers one had about their identity and life so that someone could experience himself in the fullest and truest sense of his own nature. Sesshomaru could no longer claim he was immune to all the emotions and sensations he had so thoroughly despised in the past. He had felt them all in the most vivid clarity only a short while earlier…and he recognized them as things he had already felt toward Rin in the past. The forest had not created these feelings, or caused them to suddenly come alive: they had been at work all along within him, but he had been too stubborn to fully recognize them.

Now there was no point in denial, no turning back to life as it had been before. The carefully constructed self-image the demon lord had built up over hundreds and hundreds of years received its final crack, revealing itself to now be made of a fragile clay rather than the steel it had once been, and it crumbled before his eyes to nothing. He saw he had a heart after all, despite his great insistence otherwise, and that he had entrusted it to someone else long before he knew of its existence. He was not the untouchable warrior he thought he was, and he was not all-powerful; he had been made vulnerable and soft by one human girl, and even now amidst his self-loathing he could not make himself believe he begrudged her that fact for a moment.

 _After all this time,_ he shakily admitted, hardly able to even comprehend his own thoughts, _I am no different from my father._

* * *

Sesshomaru did not sleep that night. He tucked Rin into her bedroll and took up his nearby post, staring far more at her than he did the surrounding woods; the hours crawled by as he watched over her, supplying him with ample time to dread the possible conversations he would have with her when she awoke. He had nothing left to hide behind, no excuses he could throw out to divert her attention from the real issue. He was past deceiving himself into thinking he did not feel a certain way about her, true, but that wouldn't make the face-to-face admission any easier; after all, there was his pride to consider. Could he even live with the shame of knowing he was not the impregnable fortress he was considered to be, by himself and everyone who knew him? How could he have let this happen?

 _It was because one smile from a lonely little girl kindled the first spark of compassion in you, and you didn't stamp it out when you had the chance. She lay dead at the crossroads of your heart: you could pass her by and let the spark die with her, or you could let it compel you to save her. You chose the latter, and in doing so brought back to life the one person who possessed the power to fan that spark into a flame. You did this to yourself- you took the road of your own accord._

Sesshomaru watched Rin turn and resettle in her sleep, the blanket slipping away from her as she did so. The demon lord immediately leaned forward and drew the blanket over her shoulder again, gently tucking the corner under her to keep it in place. He never would have thought to perform such an act for anyone else before she came along; if he hadn't saved her life with the Tenseiga, there never would have been anyone for him to look after like this, not even a thousand years from now. Rin was too special and unique for there to be anyone else remotely like her to come along.

The demon lord sat back against his tree and made himself fully consider what his life would have been without her. There would be no one to give his rare thoughtful moments to, no one to offer a sweeter perspective of this troubled world or endearingly stand up to him when he unknowingly needed it; he never would have mastered Tenseiga, or had someone to fight for other than himself…perhaps even Naraku could not have been defeated without Rin to draw Sesshomaru into the battle in the first place, to teach him the things he needed to learn in order to give up his pursuit of Tessaiga and earn his own powerful weapon. If he did not have her, there would only be the furthering of his empire to occupy his mind…and as tantalizing as an empire's glory might be, it could not satisfy in the same way a kind word or beautiful smile would.

 _I would do it all again, exactly the same as before,_ Sesshomaru realized as he gazed at the young woman. _I would not change a single choice I made. To have her love…it is the highest honor I could ever obtain._

His mind became slightly more at peace as this thought settled in. There was still an unnumbered set of questions swirling through him concerning what the morning would bring, but there was an odd comfort in knowing he still would have chosen this life even if he'd somehow foreseen nine years ago that it would bring him to this broken state of being. The darkness slowly gave way to dawn, and eventually Rin began to stir from sleep. Sesshomaru freely admitted to himself that he was far beyond utterly nerve-wracked as their eyes met, but he was determined to maintain a noble front till the end.

"Did you sleep well?"

Rin nodded and sat up. "Oh yes, incredibly so. I don't even remember the last time I slept that deep."

Silence. She was looking down at her bedroll now, pretending to be fascinated by the individual threads. Was she embarrassed by her behavior from the previous night? She was probably chastising herself for being too forward, or some other silly reason for why she would criticize her perfectly acceptable actions- wasn't she the one who'd kept things completely innocent by only kissing his cheek?

"Lord Sesshomaru…."

He stared at her in masked dread, bracing for the unknown. Considering the confession she'd made to Jaken he at least knew that she did indeed love him and this hadn't been a matter of him misinterpreting something, but would she accept his actions as sincere? Would she believe him when he told her the cold and unmoving figure before her was the same one who had held her so tenderly a mere few hours before?

"Could you toss me my backpack? I'm going to make some breakfast."

Sesshomaru blinked. She wanted to eat first before discussing everything? Usually food was the last thing she wanted when she was highly emotional…surely she wasn't just taking last night all in stride? Rin made a waving motion.

"Lord Sesshomaru? Did you hear me?"

The demon lord awkwardly took the desired bag and gave it to the waiting girl.

"Did you sleep all right?" she asked as she pulled out several bags and a pan.

"I did not sleep," he answered truthfully.

The young woman shook her head. "I'll never understand how you can do that; I can't imagine not needing sleep."

She was being far too nonchalant. Sesshomaru remembered the first time she had hugged him when she was younger, and how self-conscious she'd been for hours afterward: her anxiety had to be sky-high right now. Rin frowned slightly, no doubt having noticed the scrutiny she was under.

"Is something wrong?"

The demon lord felt his throat run dry. He coughed and fought to maintain his normal vocal control.

"Should something be wrong?" he countered, eyeing her closely.

"Well, you _are_ looking at me rather weirdly; it's almost like you've never seen me before."

"Considering our…circumstances, I would think that rather normal."

Rin set down her cookware with concern. "What do you mean?"

He almost laughed- she really wanted to feign ignorance for as long as possible. Personally, he couldn't take this cat-and-mouse game any longer, and he decided it was time to simply rip the bandage off.

"We need to talk about last night."

The girl paled. She hastily turned back to the little cooking fire and busied herself with preparing breakfast. Sesshomaru let her think she could hide in such an obvious ruse for about thirty seconds before speaking again.

"Is that a problem for you?" he inquired, marveling he could remain so calm.

"There isn't anything to talk about."

That remark got Sesshomaru on his feet. He strode around so he was facing Rin and stared hard at her.

"We absolutely need to talk about it," he declared.

"Look, I'm sorry, it won't happen again; I just got caught up in the dream and forgot myself, okay? It's not like- I mean, I didn't- er, I…."

Sesshomaru knelt beside her. "What are you talking about?"

Rin was turning red now. "I was talking in my sleep last night, I _know_ I was; I could hear myself even while I was in the dream."

The demon lord shook his head slowly. "I never heard you say anything."

The young woman seemed very relieved at that. "Ohhhh. Okay, good."

"What dream are you talking about?"

The red faded to pink. "I had this really incredible dream, and it was so real at times I swore I could hear myself talking- that's why I thought you must have heard me."

Sesshomaru was getting an odd feeling. "Why would you care if I heard you?"

"Oh, no reason," Rin answered hastily. "It's just, ah, sometimes in dreams we say things we normally wouldn't in real life."

"What was this incredible dream about?"

"It was this beautiful forest of light, full of music and flowers, and it made my heart just amazingly happy. I've never felt anything like it before."

Sesshomaru watched mutely as she continued to make her breakfast. The little bit of courage he'd mustered to get through the next few minutes deflated, leaving him to feel hollow and lost. Rin thought last night was a dream. She didn't think something like that could happen in "real life," so her mind had decided she must have made it up: she couldn't believe he was capable of treating her any different from how he normally did.

"You're looking at me weirdly again," the young woman commented.

Sesshomaru excused himself then. He had thought of many possible outcomes for this morning, but this had not been one of them. He had rallied from the initial dread of the night, ready to work through the inevitable storm of questions and resolve things between him and Rin, but now there was suddenly nothing more he had to do. She had unwittingly presented him the golden opportunity to live as if last night had never happened; no one would ever have to know he had shown himself to be weak, or that he had been willing to accept his fate with a certain degree of positive anticipation. In time, he might even be able to convince himself nothing had ever happened, that he too simply had an incredible, beautiful dream in which he was the happiest he'd ever been and his heart was complete.

Perhaps at some other point in his life he would have found such a notion comforting and agreeable, but as he glanced back at the young woman sharing her breakfast with A-Un he felt unexpectedly angry, as if he'd been cheated out of something very special. A rational portion of his mind scoffed at such sentimentality and told him to be grateful for this free pass that had fallen directly into his lap, but all he could make was a very insincere mumble that didn't sound anywhere close to grateful.


	27. Chapter 26- The Beauty of Truth

**Chapter 26- The Beauty of Truth**

Things didn't get any easier over the next couple of days. The sensation he was losing something of incomparable value only grew within Sesshomaru, and he could no longer interact normally with Rin. Anytime she spoke he hung on her every word hoping she would say something that would jog her memory and make her realize the forest wasn't a dream, yet if their eyes met he was the first to look away, fearing she would see through to his mind and know all his thoughts; she would ask yet again if he was all right, if something was wrong, but he could only give the distracted lies that scrambled half-formed through his frantic inner world. She would brush his arm in passing and his heart nearly hurled itself right out of his ribs, and in his mind's eye he saw them dancing under the trees as they held one another.

They journeyed aimlessly through the countryside, their leader completely indifferent to where his feet took him. So deep in thought was he, the demon lord actually walked off the edge of a small cliff one afternoon- after a few seconds of falling he realized what was happening, and before his companions could catch on to what they had really witnessed he quickly took control of his body and guided his descent to the ground. Rin leaned over the edge to gaze down at him.

"Are you wanting us to follow, my lord?" she called.

Sesshomaru automatically held his arms out. "You do trust me, don't you?"

The young woman stepped back before taking a flying leap, fearlessly plummeting through empty air to land safely in her lord's arms. She clung to his shoulders as she caught her breath, her eyes dancing with delight as she tried to reel in her giddiness.

"Trying to keep my bravery up-to-date?" she giggled, turning to look at him.

Sesshomaru couldn't answer. The ache inside him intensified, having her so close, and he didn't want to let go; all he could do was stare back at her, and gradually the girl's smile faded to a self-conscious worry line. She made no effort to get away, but the concern was clearly evident.

"Is everything all right?" Rin finally whispered.

It took every ounce of strength for the demon lord to set her on the grass and walk away.

"Stay here."

"What did I do?"

Sesshomaru kept walking, willing himself not to look back. Rin's voice took on a panicked edge.

"Lord Sesshomaru, what did I do wrong?"

He whirled around, a move unexpected for both of them.

"It's not you, all right?" he declared, louder than he intended.

She looked hurt, and his spirit melted. He almost raised his hand to comfort her but forced himself to turn away, knowing he could not control himself again if he drew near. The demon lord hurriedly stalked out of sight until he came across a dense bamboo patch, and on impulse he drew Bakusaiga but did not invoke its power; he hacked away at the green stalks, frustration coursing through him as he pounded without mercy upon the helpless plant with a sword unaided by its usual potency.

 _I can't keep living like this- I can't keep turning away from her, leaving her with no explanation._

 _You must make yourself forget. You dare not accept the responsibility that would come with confessing your feelings._

 _I don't care! I will gladly bear any burden if it means I can be with her, unfettered by pretenses I no longer wish to enforce._

 _Why? It's not like she'll ever know it was real; Jaken is ignorant of all that transpired. Rin will forever look back on that night as a lovely dream and be content with that._

Sesshomaru viciously diced another stalk of bamboo, catching a fluttering insect in the crossfire. The two halves of the little bug ceased their flight and piteously drifted to the ground in lazily spiraling circles.

 _But Rin isn't like me- she has the same feelings for me as I do for her, but she has no wish to be rid of them. In the forest, she was hardly any different from her usual self. The only change was that she had no fear of showing those feelings._

A weight of sympathizing sorrow pressed against his breastbone like a crushing anvil, and his sword slowed its onslaught. Rin carried these same hopes and desires inside her every day, acting on them in bits and pieces but never daring to come anywhere close to truly showing them. How could she survive the despair of looking on the one she loved in all her waking hours while being forced to stay silent…because she believed he did not reciprocate? Sesshomaru had barely made it two days: she had been stoically fighting for years, and he had never caught on. A profound new respect came over him for the young woman, and he realized she was even stronger than he had already thought. In a few moments his brutal assault on the bamboo renewed itself as this new admiration gelled with his current state of mind.

 _She doesn't deserve for me to do that to her. Can I deny her the culmination of those desires out of a fear to protect my own pride? If she loves me…and I love her, why should it be kept in the dark?_

This concession caused the negative side of the argument to scream in unabated horror.

 _You're letting yourself get carried away; you don't_ _actually_ _love her- that's your mother talking._

Sesshomaru decimated a whole swath of stalks in one sweep.

 _No, it's me. I love Rin. I love her, and I cannot ignore it any longer. I will endure what pain will come, I will not be brought down by my fellow demons' scorn and hate; I will not let the one thing to stand between us be my own damnable pride._

He finally unleashed a mighty blast of Bakusaiga's demonic energy, obliterating the world before him. With a roar he plunged the sword deep into the ground, until only the hilt remained above the grass; the demon lord contemplated the symbolism before him, casting himself back to a memory that now felt a lifetime ago….

" _Why does it bother you so much to think there might've been one thing in the world even your father was prey to? I would think you'd instead be glad, because it would mean he couldn't really help what happened; it's not like he was out to bring disgrace upon his name or anything."_

" _He could have pushed the feelings aside. Nothing could be powerful enough to overwhelm his senses that much."_

Sesshomaru saw Rin as she thoughtfully considered this. _"Then maybe he wasn't overwhelmed, after all. Perhaps he put down his sword and instead surrendered, conceding that love was something he would rather accept than live without."_

His eyes moved up to the heavens, watching the displaced birds scatter about to find themselves a new home now that their roosting place had abruptly disappeared. A sense of connection he never thought he would have with his slain parent filled Sesshomaru, and he gave the clouds a nod of acknowledgement.

 _At last I understand, Father._ He looked back down at his embedded weapon. _I will not fight anymore._

Then he uttered aloud two words he had never once spoken together in all his very long life.

"I surrender."

* * *

It was dark by the time Sesshomaru made it back to the place he had left Rin. Now, however, only Jaken was to be seen as he busied himself with roasting a number of critters he'd no doubt pried from the underside of a log somewhere nearby.

"Where is Rin?" the demon lord demanded, a hand already on his sword hilt.

"After eating, she said she wanted to be alone for a while." The imp frantically added, "Don't worry milord, she's not completely alone: she took A-Un with her."

Sesshomaru caught her scent on the breeze and paced away into the darkness. Half a mile later he emerged into the open night air on a grassy plain that ambled off a long distance to either side; the unmistakable dragon footprints led forward, and the silver-haired demon followed. The stars were out in full force tonight to compensate for the moon's absence, splashed against the deep blue sky in thick bands of sparkling light. Thanks to their light, it would have been easy even without his enhanced sight to spot the comparatively small figure seated beside a scaly beast, backs turned to the approaching traveler; the plain ended in a steep cliff to border the sleeping countryside far below, and it was near the edge of this grassy bluff that Rin and her companion sat. Sesshomaru reached out and stroked one of the dragon's manes, noting the young woman jump slightly as she realized she was not alone

"A-Un, leave us."

The beast obediently rose up and lumbered off in the direction of the trees. Sesshomaru stood a short distance from Rin, watching her carefully; she did not appear terribly upset, but neither was she quite as friendly as she would normally be.

"I'm sorry if I startled you," the demon lord stated.

Rin shrugged. "It wasn't the worst fright I've had."

Sesshomaru took a step closer. "I'm also sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier; I did not intend to sound angry."

The girl glanced up for a minute before giving an unconcerned flick of her hand, her shoulders relaxing as she did so. "It's okay; you were just distracted, that's all."

"You are too generous in your forgiveness."

Rin smiled. "It's always been easy to forgive you."

Sesshomaru set his sights on the sweeping vista below them. "Some things should not be forgiven so readily," he replied quietly. "I have hurt you many times…though I did not always realize it."

"That's just part of life. We're bound to unintentionally hurt others, especially those who are around us the most; as long as you admit your wrongs when faced with them and strive to do better, I think some friendly grace is only natural."

The demon lord looked down at his companion as she watched a flock of birds on the distant mountainous horizon. She was so wise for one so young.

"You are truly a force to be reckoned with, Rin." Sesshomaru pushed down the nerves beginning to creep up his neck as two eyes swiveled toward his. "You walk this earth determined to show kindness to all you come across, and refuse to let your spirit be crushed even if no one else supports you; you're determined to hold true to your own path…and you try so hard to keep the burden of your sorrows to yourself, because you don't want anyone else to bear the weight."

The young woman looked down at her lap. "Lord Sesshomaru, you're making me blush."

"I only speak the truth."

"Don't feel like you have to make up for snapping at me earlier. It didn't hurt my feelings that much, I promise."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "I have far more than that to make up for."

The inquiring stare turned to face him once more. He stood his ground, refusing to let himself walk away from her again.

"I do not possess all the words necessary to fully express all you have come to mean to me, but I swear I will spend the remainder of my life striving to do so."

Rin tipped her head in confusion. "I don't doubt your care for me, my lord."

The great demon reached down and softly brushed her hair with his fingers. "No, I'm sure you don't," he whispered. "But you do not fully understand it, either."

"You're being very cryptic tonight," the girl answered, frowning slightly.

"I will do my best to explain myself…but I confess I do not know how."

"Then tell me later," Rin replied lightly. "I don't want you to stress yourself on my account; you've obviously had a lot on your mind lately, so maybe now isn't the best-"

"But don't you see?" Sesshomaru pressed urgently. "This _is_ what has been on my mind. It is all I have been able to think about, torturing me without ceasing: I cannot move forward until this is addressed."

The concern grew deeper in Rin's expression. "I didn't realize whatever it is was so serious."

"I am always serious when it comes to you."

The young woman's eyes grew wide. "Me?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yes, you; I thought I had made that obvious, at least," Sesshomaru said with undisguised despair.

He did not know how to possibly move this conversation forward. He considered simply making a bold three-word declaration and be done with skirting around the issue, but would Rin even believe him? It would be so uncharacteristic, so unprovoked- she'd probably think he'd gotten hold of the bottle of sake Jaken kept stashed in one of the saddlebags. No, she deserved an explanation, not him hastily blurting out his feelings. How was one supposed to go about such a subject tactfully? It was surely an impossible task, one the demon lord could never hope to circumvent even if he hadn't spent all his life hating humans and had instead come into this arena a little better prepared.

Perhaps the fates were watching just then and decided to lend a hand as an unseasonably cool breeze stirred over the grass, causing Rin to hug her arms and shiver. Sesshomaru took a carefully measured breath before seating himself directly behind her; silently removing his armor, he proceeded to enfold her in his arms as he had the night at his mother's castle when he stayed guard in her room. The young woman gave a small gasp as he did so, unprepared for this sudden closeness.

"I can't let you freeze," Sesshomaru pointed out.

Rin said nothing. In that silence the demon at last saw a small sliver of hope for how he could turn the tide in his favor, and he prayed to anyone who might be listening that he would succeed.

"You must understand," he began, rubbing her arms to keep her warm, "you occupy a great deal of my thoughts. I am concerned for your well-being and health, as well as your happiness." He sighed. "Lately, in spite of all I have tried to learn to be a better guardian, I have come to realize there are some ways I have seriously neglected you."

"You've done a wonderful job!" the human protested "I don't expect you to somehow magically know everything there is to know about interacting with mortals."

"Perhaps you haven't expected it, but you deserve better," Sesshomaru informed her. "I realized you deserve far more than I have ever given you: you deserve for someone to love you."

"I-I wouldn't say that," Rin stammered. "I'm quite happy with my life."

He drew his arms just a little closer around her. "Rin, I always know when you're lying," he said gently. "You want someone to love you, as you rightfully should, but you haven't been able to find them because you insist on staying with me. And that is entirely unfair to you."

"I've told you before I don't care about that," the young woman replied in a flustered manner. "Following you is enough."

"No, it is not. I may not know everything about humans, but I do know they crave love and affection above all else; it makes one more of a whole, adding depth to the soul and offering pleasures not to be found anywhere else." The demon lord lowered his voice. "It is something no one should have to live without, if it is what they desire."

Rin spoke in an equally hushed tone. "I never heard you speak of love so positively- I thought you detested it."

"You have taught me much."

Sesshomaru held her against him, breathing in the familiar scent he'd grown so accustomed to over the years. He could feel her pulse quickening, and knew she was not at all feeling the calm she attempted to portray on the outside; she could not accept his embrace as merely an offer to shield her from the wind.

"You are unlike anyone I have ever known, mortal or demon; you are the rarest of treasures, plucked from the heavens themselves to bring a light to the darkness. Any man who could win your heart would be the most blessed of all beings, but there is no one in this world worthy of such a claim. You deserve someone who will love you more than his own life, who will devote himself to your happiness…someone who could touch your soul as much as…as much as…."

Why wouldn't the words come? Sesshomaru felt as if he were suffocating. He was _so close_ to what he needed to say, but there didn't seem to be any right way to translate to words the emotions swirling within.

"I will not deny you the chance to find him," he sighed again, cursing his verbal fumbling. "You cannot live the rest of your life trailing in my shadow."

"Lord Sesshomaru…please don't."

Rin was trembling. She placed her hands atop of his and squeezed hard.

"I know you want to do what's best for me, but this is not the way. I could never find someone who would make me as happy as you have; this mystery man you speak of doesn't exist." She turned in his grasp enough to tilt her head back until she could see him. "Please, I beg of you, don't send me away to find him."

Sesshomaru gazed down at the fear welling up in those beautiful eyes: she still did not understand.

"Send you away?" he answered softly. "That is the last thing I would ever do." He shook his head. "I was hoping you would let me be that man."

He bent down until their faces were hardly more than a finger's breadth apart, noting the mortal girl's quivering increased with the motion; her eyes widened as the truth began to settle in, and despite her apparent fear her lips parted slightly to receive him.

"I will not claim to be worthy of you, Rin," Sesshomaru huskily confessed, "but that cannot change the fact that I am I love with you."

He felt her sharply inhale, and as if led by a string he followed that breath to her mouth, pressing it with a devoted kiss as he cradled her close. The sensations travelling over his skin and all throughout his body were every ounce as wonderful as they had been the first time, and he quested deeper with renewed vigor as he realized the electric ecstasy from their contact was not limited to the hallowed forest. The demon lord pulled back to gauge Rin's reaction; the young woman was entirely still, staring at him unblinkingly as her overwhelmed senses tried to cobble together some semblance of thought and speech.

"How…?" she finally managed to gasp out.

Sesshomaru traced her face with his fingertips. "The forest of light wasn't a dream," he gently informed her.

Rin's eyes somehow managed to grow even wider, mouthing a wordless question as her mind took in this new revelation.

"It is a place where you cannot fear and you are able to truly be yourself," the demon lord explained. "When I took you there…for the first time in my life, I experienced what it was like to not have all the barriers I've constructed, to not be limited by my pre-conceived notions and the adages my kind have spouted about mortals; I was stripped to the soul, and what I found there was a profound desire to be with you."

It was as if the young woman had suddenly come alive from an age-long deathless sleep. In one motion Rin was on her knees, cupped her hands to Sesshomaru's face and covered him in passionate kisses. Over and over she pressed her lips against his, as urgently as if he were the last source of water in a desolate world; the demon had to admit- when his mind managed to create half a thought -he had not been entirely prepared for the intensity. Eventually the girl forced herself to break free, but even as she drew away she still granted him several desperate kisses, unable to resist just one more. Her cheeks were pink as she shyly met his gaze.

"Sorry," she panted slightly. "I just had to keep it inside me for so long…."

Sesshomaru crooked his finger under her chin and lifted till she fully faced him.

"Two can play at that game," he answered with a mischievous smile.

Locking her into a tight embrace, he kissed her far harder than he had before, but this time she was ready for him- Rin met his advance with equal anticipation. Sesshomaru pulled her to the ground and pinned her underneath him, using gravity to his advantage to sink deeper against her; even as she continued kissing him, the young woman's hand danced across his thigh and startled the demon enough to cause a lull in his pressure, giving her the chance to roll him sideways and put her on top. They rolled all over the grass in a laughing jumble, each trying to one-up the other amidst their ongoing exchange of kisses. Rotation came again and Rin was the one flattened against the green earth, and she let her hands flop back in feigned exhaustion.

"I surrender," she breathed out around their caresses, "you win."

Sesshomaru drew back to take in the sight of her once more. Her smooth skin glowed in the starlight, her eyes shining with joy even as her chest heaved up and down from exertion; he sent his fingers through her thick hair, relishing the tickling sensation as the strands trickled over his hand. The demon lord intertwined his fingers with Rin's as they lay still outstretched on the grass and slowly lowered himself back down to her, their bodies pressing closer and closer until their hearts beat against one another. Sesshomaru kissed her again, slower this time but no less meaningful, tenderly and silently telling her how much she meant to him. After a time he wrapped his arms around her and rolled till they both lay on their sides, and motion between them ceased.

They lay there in each other's arms as the night sky continued its slow revolution above. The breeze was once again a warm summer wind, drifting through the grass and trees to tell anyone who would listen its tale of a mighty demon loving a mortal girl. Sesshomaru and Rin simply watched one another, no longer afraid to meet the other's gaze for an extended time or feel as if they had to find an excuse for wanting to be near; their relationship had transformed into something far greater, and they both knew it.

"Oh, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin whispered contentedly as she settled her head against his chest.

"No," the silver-haired demon answered. "You may not call me 'Lord' anymore."

He could feel the young woman's shock, and he tightened his embrace to assure her.

"You are my equal now, Rin, and you should have been a long time ago; I told you, your place is not in my shadow, but by my side."

Rin grasped his kimono in determination. "I'll do my best to remember…Sesshomaru."

Somehow, it sounded different when she said it that way; the demon lord couldn't decide why, but he found it extremely pleasurable to hear Rin address him so. Nothing more was said, and in time they both fell asleep- unafraid for the world to see the mighty demon with his mortal love.

* * *

Sesshomaru awoke the next morning to the sound of a faint wailing on the breeze; it wasn't hard to discern whom it belonged to, or what it was about.

"Lord Sesshooo-maruuuuu! Lord Sesshomaru, Rin! Where are you? Why didn't you come back?"

The demon lord ignored the pleas intended for him and regarded the young woman beside him. Rin slept with a peaceful smile on her face as the morning sun danced across her hair, giving her an angelic appearance; Sesshomaru leaned down and kissed her forehead, calling her name in a gentle voice. After several tries he roused her, watching the smile increase all the more as her eyes came to focus on him.

"Good morning," she greeted with a radiant countenance.

"Good morning," Sesshomaru replied, wondering how he could have made it through the entire night without seeing her. "I hope you know better this time than to think it was a dream."

Rin laughed as she reached out to touch his face. "Not this time."

They shared a long look before the cry of a particular vassal sounded again, closer now.

"Oh no, Master Jaken," Rin gasped, sitting up halfway.

Sesshomaru coughed.

"Uh, I mean, plain old Jaken," the young woman corrected. "He'll find us any minute!"

The demon lord rose to a sitting position, an arm still around Rin's shoulders.

"I intend for him to."

His companion followed his line of sight toward the distant trees. A tiny little figure had just emerged to the field, losing no time in spying his quarry and shooting toward them like an arrow.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru, thank goodness you're all right!" Jaken babbled as he sped along. "I would have come sooner, but dinner was rather filling and I'm afraid I grew sleepy-"

The green demon plowed to a halt three yards away as what he saw before him began to connect with his mind. His bulging eyes darted back and forth between the two figures, his mouth hanging open more and more by the second as a long 'ehhhhhhhhhmmmmm' dribbled out.

"Jaken."

Even that forceful tone couldn't snap the imp out of his stupor.

"You are on vacation, until further notice," Sesshomaru informed him placidly.

The vassal frowned. "Vacation, milord?"

"Take A-Un and do as you please until I recall you."

"B-b-but milord, what am I to do during that time?" Jaken queried, truly perplexed. "To serve you is my life: if I cannot do that, I have no purpose."

The stall tactic would have made Sesshomaru bristle at any other time and the little demon would have been firmly booted back to the campsite; now, he simply returned the stare blinking at him from that beaky face until Rin finally spoke up.

"Go have some fun, Jaken. Find a hot spring, visit relatives, or maybe even start a hobby; a vacation is a time for _you_."

The vassal mulled this over, still staring. "A vacation, hmm? I've never had-"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. "The idea is for you to leave _now_ ," he stated, letting a little menace slip into the last word.

Jaken gulped. "Absolutely, yes sir, right away!"

He scrambled off into the woods, still glancing back with astounded confusion. Rin giggled as he at last tripped out of sight and slid her arms around her companion once again.

"That went better than expected."

Sesshomaru squeezed her affectionately. "He is the first of many we will have to endure."

"Does that bother you?" Rin questioned.

The demon lord kissed her.

"Not at all."


	28. Chapter 27- Realization

**Chapter 27- Realization**

Without an affronted imp around to wail and stare, it was easier than Sesshomaru expected to adjust to the new world in which he found himself. He and Rin now walked along the road hand-in-hand, now flew through the clouds as he held her, but there was no talk of where they were going or what demon he was to conquer next- they had no destination, nor did they require one. Rin would wade into a stream to cool her feet and Sesshomaru would follow, listening as she pointed out the different kinds of fish and plants nearby; one time the young woman playfully tossed just a little water toward her companion, and within ten seconds they were in an all-out war, splashing and dunking each other like mad. They were both a sopping bedraggled mess by the end, laughing all the way as they helped one another stumble back to shore.

On some nights the demon lord would fly the young woman high above the clouds to teach her the constellations, one arm around her waist while the other stretched out to the endless heavens, connecting the silver points with his finger as he told her the stories behind each picture. For one constellation Rin declared it did not look at all like a tree, stubbornly insisting it was instead A-Un, though her teacher was at first unaware she was teasing him; Sesshomaru patiently explained that the constellations were drawn far before the two-headed dragon's time, but when he saw the devilish grin stealing over Rin's face he recognized what she was doing. He let out an indignant overdone huff and loosed his hold, letting her freefall for miles before he caught her. This led to a rollicking reprise of the game they once played far above the sea- though the demon lord did not change into his battle form this time.

Every day was a new adventure, whether it was exploring a place they'd never been or simply sitting together to watch the world turn around them. They were children at play in a lovely garden, free from prying minds and judgmental stares, content no matter what may come- for they were together. Sesshomaru had never felt such joy in all his life, not even after the most glorious of battles; those victories in ages past now were pale and distant memories indeed, replaced by the sight of waking each morning to see Rin at his side. With every sunrise that turned to sunset, Sesshomaru grew more certain that he could not love her more than he already did, and yet each day he found himself proven wrong as he discovered his feelings had grown a bit more since last he checked.

Sesshomaru was just finishing his latest self-evaluation in this matter as the sun began to set tonight. They stood on a hill, watching the fiery orange globe sink toward the horizon; at this moment the sun was perfectly nestled in the v-shaped gap where two mountain ranges met, surrounded by a thin swirl of multicolored clouds. Rays of light filtered into the sky above the mountains, the sun's last plea to let it linger awhile longer in the world before it must give way to night. Rin sighed as a line of chirruping birds dashed through the scene.

"So beautiful," she murmured.

Her companion drew closer to her. "Not as beautiful as you."

The young woman laughed. "I can't be lovelier than all creation."

The demon lord took her hand and led her down the slope. "You are to me."

They made their way down the hill as the sun dipped lower in the sky. There was one final streak of magnificence as a red line sketched itself over the mountaintops, and then the colors slowly faded.

"I never saw it until you came down the stairs, the night of the council meeting. You descended from the light and I was spellbound: you had transformed into a goddess before my very eyes."

Rin swung their clasped hands back and forth playfully. "You can be far too complimentary sometimes."

Sesshomaru stopped and turned, catching the girl as she stumbled slightly from his unexpected halt. He massaged her hand as he held it, giving her a weighty stare.

"That beauty has not faded since then," he said quietly. "All I have to do is look at you, and I am awestruck once more."

Rin gave a modest smile. "I don't think my heart will ever grow tired of the fluttering you give me every time you say something like that, Sesshomaru."

The great dog demon stroked her cheek, asking internally once again how he had come to be infinitely fortunate enough to win her favor. She was sunshine on the bleakest days, kindness when he was least deserving, and despite all the men who'd willingly shown her their interest she had chosen someone who would hardly even look at her when they first met; a billion souls would come and go in this world while he walked it, yet he knew there would never be another one like hers.

 _And she feels just as strongly about you,_ he reminded himself. _This sweet and gentle spirit loves you as much as you do her. She_ _loves_ _you._

A humble gratitude overcame Sesshomaru and he wordlessly pulled Rin to him, one hand braced behind her and the other firmly cradling her head against his jaw. The massaging motion was transferred to Rin's hair, relentlessly caressing the dark brown tresses as the demon lord fought to maintain his composure. Why this sudden rush of emotion? Why this sensation his heart was about to burst if he did not find some way to show Rin just how much he returned her love? He wanted to hold her like this for the rest of his life, he wanted to never part and only ever give her his heart. She was all that mattered to him, the reason he could hardly wait for daylight again because it meant another chance to talk with her and see the world once more through her eyes; he would pursue her to keep her heart's affections more than he ever did his power.

"Rin…."

What was it he wanted to say? Sesshomaru searched his heart and implored instinct to not desert him now: he was on the brink of something vital, he was certain.

"Rin, I want you."

Yes, he did want her, but in what way? He felt words forming on his tongue, and he let them slip out before he could actually consider them.

"I want you to be my mate."

 _What did you just say?_

"What did you just say?" Rin choked out, resisting his embrace enough to look up.

Sesshomaru was not about to quash instinct this time, not when it felt so completely right to say those words, down to the very core of his soul. He unflinchingly locked eyes with the young woman and firmly repeated himself.

"I want you for my mate-" he softened his voice, "-if you'll have me."

He released her from his grasp, watching the emotions flicker over her face. She was disbelieving, wild with joy, frightened yet excited…but what was this? Sadness was overtaking her now, and nothing seemed to be replacing it. The demon lord took her hand once more, instantly nauseous at the thought he had said something wrong and ruined both their happiness.

"What's wrong?" he asked anxiously.

Rin latched onto his fingers with both hands and held them before her heart. It was so clear she wanted to be happy in this moment, but something was preventing it.

"But, Sesshomaru," she began, her voice as fragile as a spider's web. She stared up beseechingly to him. "Have you forgotten? I'm _human_."

Her voice broke on the last word and tears started to form, though she was fighting to keep them back. The death grip she had on his hand would have been painful if he were mortal.

"I can only ever give you _half-demon_ children, never a full-blooded heir." The tears began to spill. "You despise half-demons even more than you do most humans: would you…would you hate your own children, too?"

Sesshomaru very nearly laughed at the suggestion but managed to catch himself in time, knowing he could not treat Rin's feelings lightly. He looked into her eyes and felt strengthened, seeing the woman he loved beneath the fear and doubt, knowing full well how much she yearned for fulfillment; he would not overturn all her hopes and dreams now. He wrapped his free hand around Rin's grasp reassuringly.

"I swear to you now, I would love our children equally even if somehow they were completely human, because they would be _our_ children." He set his forehead to hers. "I would love them, just as I love their mother."

A sob escaped Rin as the loveliest smile spread itself over her face. The tears were flowing freely now, but there was only joy in her eyes as she returned his gaze.

"Sesshomaru. Oh, _Sesshomaru_ ," she wept before nodding seriously. "Yes, I will marry you; I promise with all my heart I will."

Sesshomaru took her face in his hands, gently brushing away the tears with his thumbs. "As do I," he whispered back.

He held her in a long kiss, letting their reality wash over them both. It was tempting to think as Rin had the night of the light forest that this was all a dream, that it was just too good to be true, but the skin beneath his touch was as real as it could be. The lips that slid against his were wet from joyous tears, and the body against his chest was as soft as it was real. He kissed her harder now, a fire beginning to well up somewhere deep inside; the hunger he had felt for her in the past was returning, far stronger this time, and he intensely desired to act on it. The demon lord knew what all these sensations meant now- the last piece of the puzzle fell into place, and this time he was far more than willing to do what his instinct urged.

Sesshomaru grasped Rin's shoulders as he kissed her lips, her cheeks, her neck. A sigh of pleasure drew itself from her as he traced her neck with his mouth, and he repeated the motion to elicit that sound again. Rin clasped her arms behind his head to steady herself, kissing him more with every passing breath.

"Sesshomaru…we shouldn't…" she whispered even as she let him caress her again.

Her kimono was closed still but had slipped from her shoulders, falling dangerously low. The feeling of her bare skin underneath his hands heightened his sensitivities further, turning every point of contact into an electrifying source of enjoyment and making him crave more. The demon lord had one hand on her obi when he felt the young woman press her hands to his chest and push far enough to separate their kiss. Rin was breathing raggedly, seeming desperate to calm down.

"We can't do this," she at last got out.

"Yes, we can: you are my mate now."

"We have to get married first."

Sesshomaru frowned. Demons did not bother with all the pomp and circumstance of a marriage ceremony- they chose a mate, and the relationship was consummated forthwith. He gently patted Rin's face.

"You have nothing to feel guilt over. Once a demon has chosen their mate, that is the end of the matter; you _are_ my wife now."

Rin shook her head. "I want this, Sesshomaru, I want it so much…but my conscience won't let me do it." She took on a pained but determined expression. "I must marry you as a human before I can think of myself as a demon's mate."

The demon lord at first felt only disappointment, but it did not last long before giving way to admiration for Rin to honor her values more than she did her desires. He drew her kimono back onto her shoulders and set a hand on her head.

"You are a most virtuous woman, Rin; I will honor your wishes."

The young woman gave a sigh of relief and lightly hugged him. "Thank you for understanding," she replied, sounding as if a great weight had been lifted.

Sesshomaru eyed her shrewdly. "So, when are you wanting to get married?"

Rin straightened. "As soon as possible."

Her companion extended his hand. "Shall we travel through the night, then?"

"Yes, absolutely."

* * *

Rin sat cross-legged on the wooden floor, the summer sunshine pouring through the open doorway along with the warm breeze that ruffled her hair. A silky white kimono was draped across her lap, the subject of her scrutiny as she meticulously inspected it for any possible imperfections that would be immediately addressed by her waiting needle and thread. Kaede sat nearby, weaving long-stemmed white flowers into a simple but beautiful circlet. The young woman glanced around at her bare surroundings now and again, recalling the many nights she'd spent in this hut with the elderly priestess; on some of those nights she'd envisioned herself preparing for such an event as this, but never had she thought those dreams would one day become reality.

"Tis a strange ceremony Kagome is preparing," Kaede commented, tying a green stem to its nearest companion. "But I suppose it is no stranger than when she got married."

"She said weddings are often very different in her time. She wanted to "bring some flair" to mine."

"Remember when she and Inuyasha wed? Ye wore your new pink kimono Sesshomaru had just sent ye." Kaede smiled fondly at the memory. "Ye were angelic."

Rin carefully slid her needle around a small hole in the bridal kimono's sleeve. "You tied matching ribbons in my hair. I wouldn't take them out for days afterward."

Silence fell as both women paused to sip some tea. Rin cut another length of thread to continue her work while Kaede assessed her handiwork thus far with the flowers.

"Tis quite the responsibility, becoming someone's wife," the priestess said quietly. "There are so many things to attend to, even before children come along: ye must clean, and cook, and keep all in good order." She peered at her younger companion. "Do ye believe to be ready for that life?"

Rin nodded confidently. "I've had to be responsible for a lot of things throughout my life- I won't have any trouble slipping into this next role." She laughed. "If I could handle Miroku and Sango's unruly bunch, I think I can handle running a household of only two."

"Ye are a natural with children; your children will be blessed to have such a loving mother."

The young woman modestly bowed her head. "You are very kind."

Kaede managed to fit another flower into the wreath. "Never having children of my own, I felt somewhat inadequate for the task when Sesshomaru asked I take ye in. I hope ye were not too bored by this old woman's rambling at the fireside over the years."

Rin set her needle down. "Kaede, I had a wonderful time living with you." She put a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "My grandmother passed away before I was ever born, and I was always sorry I never got to meet her; spending those years with you, here in this hut…I finally got to experience what it would have been like if she'd lived."

The old priestess's lower lip quivered slightly, but her gaze remained steadfast. She cupped Rin's cheek in her hand, her calloused fingers stroking the softer skin beneath them.

"And ye were like the daughter I always wished for," she whispered.

They embraced warmly, both clearly struggling to keep from dissolving into tears. After a time Kaede gave herself a slight shake and nodded firmly to her companion as she held up her completed crown.

"Right, let's see if this fits ye properly."

She set the flowered wreath on Rin's hair, fussing wordlessly as she worked to make it sit just right. The elderly woman readjusted the circlet multiple times before at last making an approving little noise.

"It just needs some ribbons to trail down the back," she declared. "Remind me to put some oil in your hair tonight to smooth it out more- it's always been a bit on the wild side."

Once her work on the bridal kimono was finished, Rin took her leave to stretch her legs and walk around the village she had called home for longer than any other place she'd lived. She smiled and waved at various villagers as they passed, pausing now and again to accept their well-wishes (granted, not everyone looked on her kindly as she walked by); word had travelled in a mere few hours after her and Sesshomaru's arrival concerning their intentions, and there were plenty of people who were not exactly thrilled by the news. Sango in particular had appeared quite concerned- though she said nothing -and Inuyasha's frown was so deep it was a wonder his face hadn't permanently hardened into that shape. Kagome had been ecstatic, unsurprisingly, and Miroku seemed to take the news in stride easily enough.

"You must be mindful, though," the monk had warned the previous evening as Rin shared dinner with his family. "A man expects a certain amount of submission and meekness from his wife. She must be willing to forgo her own desires if he asks her to; after all, it is his right as the head of the household."

His lecture had been cut short as his meek and submissive wife soundly smacked the back of his head with a serving spoon.

"Of course, Miroku is just reiterating the very _outdated_ and _ridiculous_ rhetoric he was taught to believe," Sango declared with a threatening edge to her voice. "Once he got married himself he quickly discarded such foolish nonsense for a more equally balanced relationship. Isn't that right, _darling_?"

The monk gave an uncomfortable grin as he gingerly rubbed his skull. "Absolutely, dearest."

Sango poured some more broth into Rin's bowl. "But to be fair, marrying a demon is bound to be far different from marrying a regular human male." The concern began to show on her face again. "Do you think you'll be able to have your own opinion? Sesshomaru doesn't tolerate a fraction of hesitation when someone doesn't do what he wants; what will you do when you disagree about something?"

"He makes me the exception," Rin explained, stirring her rice through the soup. "He's told me many times he _wants_ me to speak up when I disagree- he doesn't want me to feel like a servant or anything."

Sango wiped some food from her son's chin. "I'm glad to hear it." Her face was still a bit dark. "If he ever changes that, you come running straight here. Kirara and I won't let him so much as touch you if he ever does anything he shouldn't."

Her guest nodded. "I understand your concern, but you don't need to fear for me. Sesshomaru would never abuse me."

Rin now recalled the doubt she'd seen in the demon slayer's eyes even as she spoke her reassurance: Sango wanted to believe the best, but her years of dealing with powerful and deceptive enemies had conditioned her to question any demon's word. When Rin had returned to Inuyasha and Kagome's home for the night, the priestess was quick to wave off Sango's concerns.

"I've seen how he treats you. He would no sooner hurt you than he would try to be friends with Inuyasha."

"Hey!" the half-demon exclaimed, looking up from his game of peek-a-boo with Izayoi.

"I think it's terribly romantic," Kagome continued, ignoring the outburst. "After all these centuries, he's finally fallen in love, and hard by the looks of it." She'd taken on her thoughtful stance then. "On the other hand, it's also kinda creepy: he's known you since you were eight. Are you absolutely positive he never had any romantic feelings for you in the past?"

Rin adamantly shook her head. "Never. He was my guardian, my protector, but never anything else; he didn't think of me in this way until I rejoined him last year. There was never anything in his mannerisms that…" she shuddered at the suggestion. "No, it was purely platonic when I was a child."

That had been enough for Kagome, and the discussion ended. Rin turned her footsteps from the well-worn path between the village huts to the surrounding forest, her mind set into a breathless whirl as she considered again what had brought her here a week ago. She was going to marry Sesshomaru. He loved her with an astounding level of passion even she had not guessed possible, and he wanted her for his mate; there were still moments where she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. What would their life together be like? Would their children have those adorable soft dog ears like their uncle? An image momentarily flashed through the young woman's thoughts, reminding her of how children were created in the first place, and blushing madly she waved the thought away- that fantasy would become genuine soon enough tomorrow night.

Rin made her way through the trees, hoping to catch a glimpse of the demon lord. He had disappeared this morning with the statement that he had some instructions to give to Jaken, but he refused to divulge anymore; by now it was growing late in the afternoon, and the girl wondered if he was having some difficulty tracking down the larking vassal. Rin pressed deeper into the woods and soon found a merrily bubbling brook, and with a smile she climbed onto the adjacent large boulder perfectly shaped for sitting. She and Sesshomaru had come to this very spot a number of times during his visits, he asking about her treatment in the village and she begging to hear of his adventures. The young woman clasped her hands behind her head and settled back on the rock, gazing up at the golden green canopy high above while the tinkling water lulled her into a contented doze.

An angry tone sounded in the trees to her left, and Rin rolled aside to crouch behind the boulder; stealthily, she inched over until she could see past the rock but remain hidden behind some bushes. Before long she caught sight of a red robe, and words began to form on the breeze.

"…Who do you think you're kidding? There's no way it can work out."

"You have never been particularly insightful when it comes to the future; don't delude yourself into thinking you've suddenly gained clairvoyance."

Rin caught her breath as the baritone syllables danced past her ears, but she remained hidden: clearly this was a discussion no one else was meant to hear. She angled her head for a better view as Inuyasha angrily waved his arms about.

"She human, Sesshomaru. You've always despised them. Letting her tag along with you is one thing, but marrying her? It's the ultimate disgrace in your eyes."

Sesshomaru regarded his little brother coldly. "Do not presume to know me."

"But I do know you!" Inuyasha shouted. "I care about that kid, and I can't let you break her heart. Maybe you're going through some mental breakdown, I don't know, but there's no way you can honestly intend to keep her; the first time you run into some other demon, you'll drop her like a hot coal and swear you don't know who she is."

Rin forced her body to remain entirely still. Had Sesshomaru sensed her presence yet? He always knew when she was nearby- would he be angry she was listening?

 _Hey, it's not like I snuck up on them,_ she reasoned. _They walked in on_ _me_.

"Okay, let's say you're not ashamed to have a human mate: how will you get an heir? We both know you want a pure bloodline to continue. Will you take a mistress of your own race? Or will you at least have the decency to wait until Rin's gone?"

"I will do no such thing!" Sesshomaru roared, striking Inuyasha with the back of his hand and sending the half-demon flying. "I will take no other mate, in her lifetime or beyond. Rin is the only one I will ever care for."

The observer unconsciously grasped at her heart, and though she made the motion in total silence she saw the demon lord turn to look directly at her bush. Sesshomaru hauled Inuyasha off the ground by the back of his robe and shoved him in the direction of the village.

"Leave me."

Inuyasha grunted, looking like he might draw his sword. "Don't think you can just push-"

His brother sent a deathly glare. "You were determined to be at peace with me after I saved your mate. Do you wish to forsake that mission?"

The half-demon was seething, but his hand did drop to his side. "I'm watching you, Sesshomaru. Don't think you can hurt her and get away with it."

He spun and took off through the trees. The demon lord watched him go before raising his eyes to the leafy swaying boughs above.

"You can come out now."

Rin guiltily rose and picked her way through the line of shrubbery. "How did you know? I never made a sound."

Sesshomaru faced her. "You moved at some point, correct?"

The girl nodded.

"That movement pushed your scent toward me."

"You're amazing," Rin declared, shaking her head in admiration.

The silver-haired demon drew her to him. "Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you."

He bent down and kissed her, and Rin felt the now-familiar sensation that she was slowly melting into a puddle. The joy that coursed through her mind every time they touched was beyond description, and her heart beat a thousand times faster as she thought again of what tomorrow held. Sesshomaru allowed himself a few kisses to her face as well before pulling away and leading her to the nearby rock; he sat back against the worn stone and tucked the young woman under his arm, reaching over to stroke her hair with his free hand.

"Did you find Jaken?" Rin asked, cuddling closer.

"Yes; he was most displeased to discover his vacation was over."

This was met with a giggle. "More displeased than when he found out why it was over?"

The demon lord smiled. "Hardly."

They sat together observing the golden haze that was beginning to permeate between the trees all around. Birds twittered happily as they floated away on the air, ready to return to their nests for a bit of sleep before the day began over again. Rin slipped her arm around her companion and opened her mouth to speak, having to catch herself as her tongue started to form the familiar title she'd put before his name for so many years- would she ever grown accustomed to addressing him so informally, so…intimately?

"Sesshomaru, if you ever do find a demoness after I'm gone that you truly care about-" she began.

"Don't," he responded instantly, holding her mouth hostage with his for a long while. "I could never do it," he whispered as he drew back.

Rin fought to pull her mind together again. "I'm serious," she insisted. "If you did find someone again, I don't want you to feel bound to deny yourself simply to honor my memory." She looked down. "I would want you to be happy."

Sesshomaru placed a hand in her hair and tilted her face back, staring at her tenderly with those golden eyes she saw every night in her dreams.

"I will only be happy as long as you are in my life," he answered with grave seriousness. "When you pass into the afterlife you will take my heart with you: I will have nothing left to love with."

Rin bit her lip to contain her emotions, not trusting herself to speak as she returned his unblinking gaze. The demon lord's eyebrows drew together.

"What?"

The young woman slowly managed a smile. "I love it when you do that."

"Do what?" Sesshomaru questioned with genuine puzzlement.

"When you don't measure your words and you just say exactly what you're thinking; it's so beautiful." Rin pressed a hand to his heart. "It lets me see your soul. There's such sincerity and depth, a vast wealth of thoughts no one knew was there…" she smiled more. "I'm honored you share them with me."

Sesshomaru traced a fingertip over her features. "I count myself no less fortunate."

Rin settled against him and lost herself in sweet musings. This simply couldn't be real- was it even possible to feel this much happiness? She must have lost herself in a dream long ago, wandering ever deeper into a fantasy that defied all possible sense of realism, and she believed it to be her actual life.

 _Please, let me never wake up._


	29. Chapter 28- The Guardian

**Chapter 28- The Guardian**

There was no sleep for Sesshomaru the night before the ceremony. He wandered through the moonlit night like a ghostly specter, gliding from shadow to shadow in total silence; his eyes strayed upward to the velvet blue sky again and again, swearing the moon was past its time and the sun should be the one rising in the sky, but the heavenly guardian of the night stayed stubbornly in its place. It was not nerves or even doubts that kept the groom-to-be so restless: his conviction that this was the life he wanted was as solid as a cliffside made entirely of iron. The demon lord simply had no wish to sleep tonight, and since he was awake his mind chose to unearth every instance it could dredge up of when he had spoken disparagingly of humans- particularly whenever he had mocked one of his fellow demons for harboring tender feelings toward the species.

 _If I could have only known then…._

He would feel no shame in having a human mate; he would not try to hide her, or scoff at mortals when his kind were present and she was not. Sesshomaru would hold his head high, proud of the choice he had made…and yes, even look upon his half-human children with pride and love. His mind no longer argued over any of this or reacted with horror and correction. The war was won at long last, and he was finally at peace with himself over the matter.

 _If I'm so at peace, then why can't I sleep?_ he questioned.

He reminded himself that he did not actually _need_ sleep: it was simply a habit he'd picked up over the years to pass the time when he wanted to let Rin rest on solid ground rather than the swaying and bumpy back of a dragon. In this moment, he was amazed he'd ever managed to accomplish the task of sleep in the first place. He wandered about the grass here and there with no design or purpose, occasionally taking an aimless swing with Tenseiga at nothing in particular; the world dragged by uncommonly slow, as if nature itself conspired against him to prolong his wait. The demon lord wondered if Rin was getting any sleep tonight, or if she too was unnaturally restless and wide awake.

After a lifetime of waiting, the moon relinquished its rule of the sky and the faintest yellow glow began to overtake creation, though it was still too early for any rays to break over the horizon yet. As Sesshomaru watched the clouds lighten minutely, a pair of wings unfolded themselves within in his sight; up and down they moved in their rhythmic way, bearing a slender white body between them that slowly grew larger as the flier came nearer. The wings banked to turn into a graceful spiraling descent, revealing a bird with a long neck and a red patch emblazoned atop his head. The crane swooped lower still and came to rest directly in front of the demon lord, eyeing the observer in an intelligent way as the wings settled back and grew still. Both watched the other for a time without moving a muscle, until at last Sesshomaru was certain this was no ordinary bird.

"You are the crane Rin once tended to," he stated evenly. "Red, I believe she called you."

The crane dipped his head in acknowledgement. "And it is because of that kindness I come here today."

Sesshomaru refrained from stating any surprise over hearing an animal speak- he had witnessed stranger things in his time.

"While the young woman cared for my well-being, I saw the purity of her soul and sensed the love that compels her; when she held me close, I felt her fondest wish that dwells inside her heart every day." Red regarded his audience gravely. "There are few indeed in this world such as her, and a benevolent spirit of her kind should be preserved. When I discovered her wish was just that, I resolved to do all I could to grant it."

Sesshomaru inhaled sharply. "Are you saying you can extend her life?"

The crane shook his head. "I cannot, but there is a place you will go where you may obtain the means necessary."

The demon lord could hardly contain himself. "Tell me of this place…" he fought back the urge to make it a command, "please."

Red gave his feathers a ruffling. "You must travel north, farther and deeper than you have ever ventured. When the wind and the snow become so cold that even you are affected by their sting, you will have reached the place."

The listener leaned forward intently, focusing on every word closer than any movement an enemy had ever made in battle against him.

"You will pass over a vast wilderness of ice before reaching a circle of mountains; descend inside the circle, and you will come to a great stone archway. Pass through it, and you will find the Guardian. You _must not_ take what you seek by force," the crane emphasized strongly. "Only through humility and utter honesty will you gain the chance to claim it, but even then, it is ultimately up to the Guardian to grant or deny your request."

"And what would you have, in return for this information?"

Red shook his head again. "It is I who am repaying a debt. The maiden saved my life, and I would return the favor." He spread his wings to take his leave. "Guard her well, Lord Sesshomaru."

The white bird lifted from the ground and flew toward the sky as dawn's first rays split the heavens asunder. The light engulfed him and he was gone, leaving a stunned demon in his wake. Sesshomaru stood senseless as the rising sun peeked its head over the hills, oblivious to the sounds of a waking world which he had so eagerly anticipated only a short while ago. He knew cranes were regarded as a symbol of longevity and good fortune, but he had always chalked such talk off to mere superstition and wishful thinking- was it possible the tales weren't so wrong, after all?

 _I will not be able to rest until I know for certain. I_ _must_ _know if there is a way to prolong her life._

Sesshomaru sped back to the village and knocked as lightly as he could upon the doorframe of the old priestess's dwelling, struggling to swallow his excitement. If the crane proved to be wrong, or if he should fail to appease this Guardian, he couldn't bear the idea of getting Rin's hopes up only to return empty-handed: he wouldn't reveal the nature of his journey, at least not at this time. The young woman sleepily emerged from the hut, rubbing her eyes into focus; one glance to see her visitor's identity chased away all traces of fatigue.

"Lo-, I mean, Sesshomaru, what's going on?"

The demon lord willed himself to be calm as he clasped her arms. "Rin, I have one last errand I must attend to. I won't be gone long."

Rin became worried. "But the wedding! It's tonight!" Her frown grew more pronounced. "What could be so important?"

"I can't…I can't say, right now," was the rather lame reply.

"Can't it wait for even a few days at least?"

Sesshomaru was having trouble meeting her probing stare. "I do not know how long this chance will last; I can't afford to let it pass by." He stood up straighter. "I will travel at my fastest and be back before sundown."

Rin seemed unsure. "You promise?" she pleaded with a slight quaver.

Sesshomaru kissed her forehead. "I promise."

The young woman was clearly still perturbed by this sudden change in plans but gave a hesitant nod. The demon lord pressed her hand tightly before shooting upward into the growing dawn, repeating over and over in his mind not to look back.

He didn't.

* * *

Sesshomaru sped through the air, his very essence transformed into a blue-white sphere of energy to allow him quicker passage through the atmosphere. The green blur of the earth zipped underneath him impossibly fast, and the wind itself could not have caught him if it tried; the purpose of his mission drove him to push his flight capabilities harder still, bearing him far past any land he had travelled in the past. He was now thousands of leagues north, and he watched as the world far below descended one again into a gray twilight, though it was still early in the day. Any trace of human settlement had ended far behind him, and the terrain that now passed before his eyes was desolate indeed. Windswept white plains spread in all directions like an eerie mist, dotted now and then with a lonely mountain. The air became thick with snow, and the demon lord re-materialized to assess the gale-force winds: they were strong indeed, but not enough yet to cause him discomfort. He pressed on, maintaining his form to better gauge the weather.

On and on he flew, incredulous to realize such an immense and forsaken place had existed without his knowledge. If he were to somehow lose his bearings he could arguably become trapped, wandering desperately in this wasteland with no way to know which direction led back; it was a chilling thought, running down to his bones and making them feel weak and weary. After a time Sesshomaru realized it was not just the thought that caused this sensation, but his actual surroundings- he was cold. The wind blasted with renewed ferocity, the thousands of snowflakes swirling in a single wave to pummel him and drive the ice deep inside. Was this what it felt like to be a human in the winter?

 _I swear, I will never let Rin travel in a snowstorm again._

He cleared a small range of mountains and came to the widest and bleakest snow plain yet. The white land stretched out without change as far as the eye could see, immediately reminding Sesshomaru of the ocean; at least with the sea there was motion, the break of a wave here and there, but in this forsaken place nothing but the wind itself moved, giving the illusion that this was somehow even greater in size than the watery depths. Even in his battle form, the demon lord would have felt small. The frigid air seeped into his skin and seemed to halt the flow of his own blood, but he refused to turn back; if there was a way to keep Rin at his side longer than expected, he would search every inch of this wasteland if it came to that.

A vague shape loomed in the shadowy half-light ahead, and Sesshomaru strained to make it out. Was there a massive creature guarding the gateway? His eyes widened as it became evident mere yards in front of him that this was no living thing, but instead the most enormous mountain he had ever set sight on. He angled up and flew parallel to the rock wall, unable to fathom how many miles high it must be to intercept his flight; at last he topped the behemoth's highest peak, and for a few seconds the wind parted the snow enough to reveal the mountain was surrounded by brothers of matching stature. This had to be the ring the crane had spoken of. Sesshomaru rocketed to the circle's center, alert for any form of guard or trap that might wish to ensnare him. Nothing came forward, and he alighted on the snowy ground unchallenged.

True to Red's prediction, a great stone archway stood alone a short distance away. It led to nowhere, nor did it lend support to some other nearby structure, but was merely a solitary sentinel in an uninhabited realm. Sesshomaru cautiously approached the gate, wondering how this could be an entrance when there was nothing behind it; he itched to draw Bakusaiga, just to be ready should someone attack, but he remembered the crane's warning this prize could not be won by force. If he presented himself in a hostile manner, this journey would surely end in vain. The demon lord gave one last encompassing glance to his surroundings before resolutely marching through the archway. Instantly the wind ceased and his body regained its normal temperature; why was it also suddenly dark as night? Sesshomaru took a few more steps, and his ears detected an echo- he was on stone, not snow.

Light slowly returned, though it was dim. Sesshomaru was in a hall, and when he looked back there was no sign of a door; there was only more hallway, though he knew it was impossible to have already walked that far. A light danced up ahead at the far end of the tunnel, like sunlight reflecting off moving water, and Sesshomaru headed straight for it. He emerged into what appeared at first to be a spacious circular chamber. A pool of crystal-clear water lay at the center, but there were no furnishings anywhere to explain the function of this place; then the demon lord realized there were no actual walls, but instead only a dome of swirling multicolored energy. Beyond the dome he could just make out great clusters of stars wheeling through the universe in their course, and he began to seriously question if he was still at the feet of the mountains.

"It has been some time since anyone darkened my door," a voice rang out from an unseen source. "Only the strongest and most determined survive the passage. How did you come to find this place?"

Sesshomaru searched for the speaker but saw no one. He did not like to be toyed with, but he kept his peace and responded without his typical annoyance.

"A crane told me I would find a source of long life here."

A tall woman walked toward him from nowhere. She was neither demon nor mortal but something altogether different, with long blonde hair and eyes bluer than the deepest sapphire; her garb was strange, unlike any culture Sesshomaru had encountered, and her fair skin had an almost silvery hue to it.

"A crane, you say? I have not been sent a candidate by any of them in eons…or was it next week? Time is a rather fluid thing to me, you must understand." The woman frowned. "But you are already immortal- why should you seek my help?"

"It is not for myself. I come on behalf of the mortal woman I love."

The being straightened and gave a knowing look. "Ah, I see." She clapped her hands together. "Well, let's get down to business then. I am the Guardian of Life, Weaver of Stars, and a bunch of other titles I'm sure you're not interested in." Her arms raised dramatically and she closed her eyes. "You have come for the water, though you do not yet fully understand it; you would see your love by your side for eternity…but then, who has not wished that? What makes you any different from the rest?"

The Guardian's eyelids slid back, and she slowly circled the demon before her. Sesshomaru did not sense any malice from her yet, though her aura was a powerful one indeed; it seemed she wanted understanding, to know for certain what his motivation was before she proceeded further.

"Why does she want to be immortal? Does she fear death? Does the thought of fading from your plane of existence terrify her?"

"Rin has already died twice," the demon lord answered, matching the questioner's low tone. "Death is something she is prepared for."

The Guardian's eyes narrowed. "Is it out of vanity? Does she guard her beauty so jealously she cannot bear to part with it?"

Sesshomaru shook his head. "I have never heard her say such a thing; she is modest to a fault."

"Then is it even she who desires immortality?" The woman drew very close and stared into his eyes. "Or is she content with her mortal existence, and it is you who cannot let her go?"

Sesshomaru responded slowly. "It is true she has reconciled herself to the fact her death is inevitable, but it is not what she desires. Rin wishes to be immortal because she wants to be with me always."

The Guardian came closer still. "Is she the only one? Can you tell me in clear conscience that you came here solely based on her desire to live, and that you have no motivation of your own?"

The demon lord returned her unearthly gaze, sensing that this strange woman would be able to detect the slightest falsehood or hint of misdirection: there could be no deception.

"I cannot," he answered.

The Guardian grinned, like a hunter who knew its prey was helpless. "So, we have established her purity of heart- simply the fact a crane recommended her is evidence enough." She sidled away. "Now we come to the real issue. Why do _you_ want her to be immortal?"

Sesshomaru did not flinch. "I would have her live forever because there is no one I love more. The idea of parting from her is unbearable."

"But you've told her you've accepted her fate," the woman replied airily, swinging around one of the decorative columns that lined the dome's edge.

"Of course; it would only sadden her to know her death would destroy me. She would feel guilty for something that is beyond her control."

"Why should the death of a single mortal affect you so? Surely someone else could catch your fancy in time." The Guardian danced past him in a teasing manner. "You're the great and powerful Sesshomaru, son of the Inu no Taishou. You don't care about mortals, you never have! Rin is only a passing interest, a curiosity that will fade even as she diminishes."

"I did not tell you my name," the demon lord replied stiffly.

The Guardian laughed. "Really? You're speaking to someone who literally holds the power of life and death, and you're concerned with how I know your name?" She swept her hands out toward the pulsating dome. "I see all things from here."

Despite his desire to remain aloof, Sesshomaru could not help but come closer to the dome as his eye caught a glimpse of motion within. He peered into the swath of energy and saw men riding into battle against another army, but they wore no armor. He reached out and brushed at the moving picture as if to see it better and the scene changed to an entirely different place; now he saw a family celebrating some happy event, dancing in a fashion he had never witnessed. He shifted his gaze to another place in the dome and saw a world not unlike Kagome's time, with its tall buildings and roaring metal monsters, and beside that scene a raging flood swept a village into the ocean. He realized now the entire dome was alive with these pictures, these windows into other times- it was the cause of the swirling effect he'd noticed when he first came in.

"I exist outside of time," the Guardian explained, noting the enlightenment on his face. "But we're getting off the subject. It may have taken you centuries to find Rin, but who's to say you won't find another like her in a couple thousand years? Why does she have to be so special?"

"There could never be another," Sesshomaru answered forcefully.

"Just like you could never fall in love?" the woman challenged. "You once declared that with utter conviction: why is this any different?"

The demon lord's face was set as stone. This was different, wasn't it? He had vowed not to love, yes, but he hadn't felt the truth of that statement down in his very soul; every time he thought of Rin now and the suggestion someone else could take her place, he _knew_ in the depths of his heart there was no other.

"Perhaps it is your pride that drives you," the Guardian said suddenly, changing tactics. "After you brought Rin back to life the first time, you thought yourself the master of death. In your arrogance you assumed you could just revive her again and again, and it was only thanks to your mother's pity she lived the next time. You learned then that life is fragile for a mortal, something to be protected at every turn because there are no extra chances." The woman stalked near her target again. "Don't you want to prove you're the greatest? Don't you want to show that even death has to bow to you?"

Sesshomaru longed to strike her down. Her teasing and taunting were wearing on him, and he wanted to just be rid of her so he could take what he came for and leave.

 _That's what she wants,_ he sternly reminded. _She wants to drive you to the point of anger where you cannot resist any longer, and then she will declare you unworthy of the gift. You cannot win this by force._

"You asked me if I have a motivation of my own," he replied at last. "The answer is yes, I do, but it is none of what you have spoken." He set his jaw resolutely and gave an icy stare. "If I were compelled by pride, the last thing I would do is come to you for help; I would look for an answer that could be won by combat, or seek to somehow increase my own power- I would never lower myself to admit that I am helpless to save her from her fate, that I require someone else's strength and power to keep her alive."

The demon lord took several purposeful steps toward the Guardian. The woman stared back at him fearlessly, though her eyes narrowed as if to help her see better into his heart.

"I am not who I once was. I will not claim to be some saint, but I am before you because my love for Rin is far greater than my pride." He paced closer. "Yes, I do honestly want to grant her wish. I do not care to deny her anything, and were the circumstances different I would have come here even if all I felt toward her was a fatherly kindness."

His voice dropped lower, but the emphatic quality of his words was no less tangible as he suddenly moved forward, forcing the Guardian to step back against a column.

"I love that woman with every last piece of all that I am. I do not love her for how she makes me feel, the way she looks, or anything else so shallow; I love her for who she is, because I recognize in her all the things a person should be- mortal or immortal. I am in constant wonder of her selfless and kind spirit, knowing I do not deserve a speck of the favor she so readily heaps upon me. I do not even ask for your help out of self-preservation, wishing to save myself from the all-consuming and unending grief that will come when she is no more."

Sesshomaru refrained from acting on the instinctive movement to pin his adversary to the wall to keep her from escaping, and instead settled for summoning the most skull-boring glare he could muster.

"I ask because I hope that someday…perhaps…I may become a fraction of the person she is, so I can love her better. I strive every day to be more of the man she needs me to be, but I am far, _far_ from such a place; with her to guide me…to teach me how to love, I can one day return that love to her, and make her even happier than she is now." He forced himself to take two steps back in hopes to appear less threatening. " _That_ is why I ask you to help me," he finished humbly.

The Guardian did not move or blink. Sesshomaru kept his face equally impassive, but inside he was drowning in a turbulent swirl of emotions; he had just spoken aloud something he had not even consciously realized was the truth until this moment, and now he wondered how he could have possibly been in the dark so long. There was a multitude of reasons he loved Rin- including the ones he called shallow -but even his most pure and noble motives did not tell the entire story: what he had confessed was the essential core, the founding cornerstone of his feelings. He had searched the recesses of his heart over and over for it, profoundly desiring to know his own self, and at last it had been revealed. Without a word, the Guardian walked past him. She drew a phial from within her vest and knelt at the pool's edge, filling the small glass container with the coveted liquid; slowly, she straightened and turned back to face her waiting pilgrim.

"Then take it, with my blessing," she finally answered with a gentle smile.

Sesshomaru felt as if the weight of the world had fallen from his shoulders. He walked forward as in a dream and carefully accepted the phial, curling his fingers around the precious gift with disbelief. A deep sigh escaped him.

"Thank-"

The words stuck in his throat. He felt his mind exploding and expanding as he began to take in better the future he held in his hand.

 _I won't lose Rin._

 _ **I won't lose Rin.**_

They would never have to say goodbye. She would be spared the pain and sadness of feeling her life slowly drain away, and he would not have to stand by to watch in grieved helplessness; it didn't matter now if the race of demons failed or thrived, because he would have who was most important to him by his side through all the ages to come. Sesshomaru swore an oath to himself that he would spend every moment of those coming millennia to do exactly as he had said- he would learn, he would change, and he would be remade into the mate Rin deserved.

"What must be given in exchange?" he asked with some hesitance, knowing the cost would have to be dear indeed.

The woman chuckled. "Why do people with my kind of job always get a bad rap? Visitors think they have to answer complicated riddles or do battle or exchange their souls…" she shrugged. "It can't be bought. I am the Guardian- I will bestow it on whom I please."

Sesshomaru inclined his head. "You are beyond generous."

"There is a caution, however," the Guardian added. "The water will make Rin immortal, yes; she will remain as she is, preserved unfadingly, with perfect health as a lovely bonus." She regarded the demon lord sternly. "But it will not make her indestructible. She will still bleed, she will still hunger, and the wind will be no less chilling. You must protect her as you always have: she will still be the weaker half, the one left vulnerable in an attack." The woman closed her eyes. "If you want her to live forever, she must be your responsibility forever."

Without warning the Guardian faded as she stood from sight, just as she had appeared. Sesshomaru lingered for a time, watching the empty room to see if a trick would at last be played or an evil laugh would sound, but there was nothing. At last he nodded, regarding again the vial in his hand.

"That is a responsibility I will gladly bear, without question," he told the silent room.


	30. Chapter 29- Crossroads

**Chapter 29- Crossroads**

The trip back took no time at all. Now that he wasn't having to hunt for landmarks or gauge the temperature, Sesshomaru flew at top speed away from the eternal wintry north toward the place his beloved was waiting. He hoped he hadn't worried her too much with his absence; he judged he had only been gone perhaps three or four hours, which still left them with plenty of time to prepare for the evening's ceremony. He spied a very familiar line of trees and dramatically decreased his velocity, though in his excitement he somewhat tripped during his landing and fell against the hut doorframe rather heavily.

"Rin! Rin, I'm back!" he called, rapping the wood intentionally this time.

There was no reply. Sesshomaru knocked several more times but met only silence, and after a subtle glance inside he realized no one was at home. The demon lord turned to survey the village, but he saw no one he recognized; he had little desire to ask Inuyasha where Rin might be hiding, and he determined to find her himself. After a few sniffs of the breeze he caught her trail and was off like a shot, unable to contain his ecstasy as he thought again and again about all that lay ahead. He knew he was grinning like an idiot but he didn't even care, and he made no effort to mask his delight as he made his way to the meadow. He saw Rin when she was still a long way off, her back turned to him as she pushed herself through a series of practice strokes with her katana. She wasn't taking a rest from drilling even on their wedding day?

The young woman made a sudden sweeping motion with the blade, and a brilliant blue arc of sizzling energy zipped away into the air. It grew to an impressive size as it rose higher and higher into the sky, and Sesshomaru knew that if she had aimed along the ground it would easily destroy a sizeable piece of the wildlife around her. Rin kept fighting, ducking and slicing, and released another powerful burst of light. The demon lord was stunned- when had she mastered her sword so thoroughly? She had been making steady progress in her lessons, but this was a whole other level of competence she now displayed. Another formidable blast shot upwards, and the onlooker could no longer stay silent.

"Rin, that was incredible! When did you learn to do that?"

Rin spun around and stared at him, frozen as a statue. She said nothing and did not blink, and it appeared she was not even breathing as the demon lord drew closer. Sesshomaru extended a hand toward her face but the girl took several large steps back, her grip tightening around her weapon and her eyes narrowing in anger.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned harshly.

Sesshomaru frowned. "I'm sorry?"

Apparently that was not the right answer. Rin now appeared affronted as well as angry, and she gestured wildly with her arms.

" _Sorry_?" she practically screamed. "You leave with no explanation and abandon me and break my heart, and you think you can just fix it all with one word?"

The demon lord was beyond perplexed. "Rin, I only left this morning…."

"Ha! I guess to a great immortal such as yourself it wouldn't seem like any time at all," the young woman responded shrilly, "but to us pathetic humans, nine months feels like an eternity!"

"Nine- what?" Sesshomaru stepped toward her, but Rin backed away again. "Are you feeling well? Perhaps you need to lie down. You're behaving most irrationally."

"How else can I behave? You left me on our wedding day and never came back; that's not something exactly easy to get over."

"It still _is_ our wedding day," Sesshomaru insisted. "You've done nothing but prepare for it all this week."

Rin pointed at the distant trees with her sword. "Does that look like summer to you?" she demanded.

The demon lord gave an exasperated glance at the trees and prepared to say more, but paused to give the woods a second look. Many of the spindly boughs were just beginning to show some budding color, and he had to admit the grass was not as green as he remembered it being yesterday; he assessed the trees behind him as well, and after a moment caught sight of the telltale pink cherry blossoms waving in the gentle breeze. A deadweight sank into the pit of his stomach, stirring him to instant nausea, and he felt the blood drain from his face. The signs of spring were all around, but how could that be possible? He had traveled at his very fastest both to and from the north, and his talk with the Guardian hadn't lasted _that_ long….

A horrifying thought struck him cold. The Guardian had said she existed outside of time, that it was a fluid construct: if Sesshomaru stepped beyond time's reach when he passed through the archway, wasn't it plausible that time ran at a different pace from his perception until he came back? If he had tarried there longer, he might have returned to find ten or even twenty years had passed, and it would have seemed like no time at all to him. He slowly revolved to face Rin again, guilt seeping into his mind; no wonder she was shocked and angry at his return, if he had truly been gone as long as she claimed. Sesshomaru shook his head pityingly.

"You poor child," he murmured, reaching out to comfort her.

Rin pushed his hands aside. "Keep away from me. I want nothing to do with you."

The stab through his heart was more throbbing and painful than any word could describe. It was several minutes before the demon lord could even try to respond.

"Listen to me," he breathed out, his heart aching so badly he feared it might actually tear itself apart. "I went north, far deeper than I ever ventured before, and I entered a gateway to a world where…where time runs differently than it does here."

Rin's eyes were still cold and hard, without any trace of acceptance.

"I was only there for what seemed a short while to me, but without my knowledge time continued on far faster here. I had no idea it would be almost a year later when I returned."

"You expect me to believe that?"

Sesshomaru did not try to hide his wounded feelings. "Why would I lie to you?" he asked mournfully.

"How could there be such a place? It defies all reason." The young woman gave a bitter sigh. "I waited for you. Every day I climbed the hill over there and watched for hours, straining to see some hint of your arrival; Inuyasha and the others told me you weren't coming back, but I wouldn't believe them."

Rin met Sesshomaru's eyes for a moment, and in that brief glimpse he saw a flash of what normally dwelt there- warmth, caring, and a devotion deeper than the sea -but it faded in an instant.

 _So, she has not lost those feelings: she has buried them instead._ The demon lord let the tiniest of hope flicker within him. _I have to guide her back._

"For months, I held on stubbornly to the belief that you couldn't help your delay. Maybe you'd met some awful enemy, or even been captured." The girl shook her head. "Slowly, I began to think about all the thousands of battles you've encountered, all the insurmountable odds, and the fact you _never once_ failed. Why should you suddenly meet some foe that was too much for you?"

Rin kicked a stalk of grass with a vengeance. Her knuckles were starting to turn white around her katana hilt.

"Next I decided you must be on some mission concerning your empire, and it was simply far too important for you to leave alone." A trace of mist passed before her eyes as she stared at the ground. "That was almost worse, because it meant you ranked your work so far above me you couldn't tear yourself away for even a few days to celebrate our marriage."

It hurt so much to hear her say these things. Rin had always been his most staunch supporter, believing in him when even faithful Jaken questioned his motives. How could she think so little of his promises?

 _The deeper the love, the harder it is to accept betrayal._

"There was no other explanation left. You had realized you did not want to marry me, and you walked away."

Sesshomaru longed to take her in his arms and reassure her of his love, but she would not accept such words in her current state. She was still far too angry.

"I was devastated," Rin declared, flinging her arms out again. "I cried for days. I screamed and begged for you to come back, but you never did." She regarded the listener fiercely. "You've always known when I'm in trouble; somehow, no matter where you were, you would always find me when I needed you most." The mist was growing thicker. "I needed you more than I ever have, but there was nothing. You didn't appear, you didn't even send a message to let me know you were all right- you were just…gone."

Rin spun away and hid her face. The demon lord's hand instinctively went to her shoulder, and it was only at the last second he managed to hold himself back, though it took great effort.

"How could you leave me?" the girl whispered raggedly. "What was so terribly important you could abandon me like that on what should have been the happiest day of our lives?"

At an earlier stage of their relationship, Sesshomaru would not have stood for such false accusations; he would have loudly declared his innocence with somewhat pompous authority, and probably would have been deeply offended by Rin's doubt. Now, though the blatantly wrong assumptions still injured him greatly, he felt no ill will toward the young woman for them. He was strangely calm, seeing the situation through her eyes and understanding how incredibly devastating his inexplicable absence must have been. With a deep controlled breath, he carefully crossed the gap between them until he was directly behind Rin and addressed her in a soft voice.

"You have every right to be so upset. If I could have known I would be gone so long I would have taken you with me, or at least told you more before I left." The demon lord clenched his fists to his sides to refrain from touching her. "You were the thing so terribly important that I had to leave when I did."

Rin said nothing. Her back was still to him and she was hugging her arms tightly, so it was impossible to know if anything was getting through.

"Do you remember your crane, Red? He found me this…that morning, and he said that in repayment for your kindness to him, he would now help me."

"He never said anything to me," Rin replied sullenly. "I've always been under the impression animals don't talk."

Sesshomaru outlined the conversation he'd had with the crane. "I had no idea how long this opportunity would last, and I knew I could not rest until I had seen the place for myself; Red said nothing of the fact the Guardian was beyond time or anything of the sort, so I honestly believed I was only gone a few hours."

As lightly as possible, the demon lord set a tentative hand on the young woman's shoulder. She still looked away, but at least she had not shied away this time.

"You know I would never abandon you," Sesshomaru said emphatically. "I would never intentionally harm you, in any way. I want you to be with me forever, and this seemed like my only chance to make that desire come true."

There was silence. Neither said anything for quite some time as the breeze hissed through the grass around them and the birds cackled in their trees. Sesshomaru kept his hold on the girl before him, wondering how long it would take for her to see reason; surely she didn't think he would make all of this up? What purpose would it serve?

 _You've always been so different from everyone around you,_ he mentally said to her rigid profile. _Don't become one of them now. Trust me, as you always have._

Rin gave a very slight sniffle. "I want to believe you," she responded in a cracked voice. "It's just…I've been without you for all this time thinking one thing, and now you suddenly show up telling me something totally different…and I'm having trouble letting go of the world that's been my reality these last nine months." She turned her head just slightly. "Where's this purported potion of yours, anyway?"

"Unfortunately, it looks no different from ordinary water," the demon lord answered with regret.

"Mm-hmm."

Sesshomaru let go and circled around to face her. Rin gave a rough swipe at her cheeks to clear them of tears and tried to turn away, but the silver-haired demon gently caught her arms and held her fast.

"Believe in me, Rin," he pleaded. "I love you more than life itself; I love you so much I couldn't accept just one lifetime as enough, and I sought to turn it into a thousand lifetimes. I didn't tell you before because I know you feel the same way, and I couldn't bear to get your hopes up if I failed."

She was looking him in the eyes now. There was turmoil inside as she struggled to entertain the idea she had been wrong all this time- he had to remind her of his true character from before he'd left. To him, those days were only yesterday, but for her it had been far too long.

"I still want you for my mate. I want to have children with you, and I want to experience all that will come from their existence." He stepped closer. "I am not the same demon you found nine- well, almost ten years ago. I never cared about a single living soul before I met you; I could witness the carnage of an entire village being wiped out and I was not moved a single iota to even glance at their suffering."

Sesshomaru hesitantly slid a hand to the young woman's face, thinking of the myriad of feelings and thoughts she'd caused in him over the years. What would his life have been like without her?

"But now, if I saw such a thing happening, do you know what I would do?" he asked in a low voice. "I would stop it. I would run in and cut the brigands down, and I would raise the dead." He pressed his other hand to her cheek as well. "That's all because of you."

He spoke so quietly he could hardly even hear himself. Why did his voice feel like it was dying?

"You have changed me, in ways I didn't think possible; I could no sooner abandon you and then lie about it than I could…than…."

He couldn't even think of a strong enough comparison to adequately convey his conviction. His eyes dropped down and caught a tiny sliver of gold around Rin's neck; the demon lord drew out the chain and cradled the locket in his hand, remembering how embarrassed he used to grow at the thought of her knowing the truth. Now, his explanation spilled out before he could even meditate upon his words.

"You were right, of course," Sesshomaru continued, staring back into those brown eyes. "The second soul changed the first; more to the point, you changed mine. The locket interpreted us into song when we first touched it, and it included mine before as well as after you came."

He gripped her hands tightly as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. It had been a struggle to hold them back all this time, but now he felt his defenses beginning to cave; it was a risk, but he made the choice to channel his remaining energy into his words rather than to his internal walls.

"Do you really think I could hurt you, after all that?" the demon questioned in a shaky tone. "Do you think so little of me, after everything I have said and done over the years…things no other living being has ever witnessed from me?"

Something was changing in Rin's countenance as he said it. A trace of the old light was returning, as well as distress as she began to realize how serious he was. His strength gave out and Sesshomaru slowly sank to his knees, still grasping her hands tightly; the young woman gasped and appeared truly terrified, knowing he had never bowed before anyone in his life.

"Please, Rin," he choked out, feeling a tear slip from each eye, "please don't leave me." He held her hands to his lips. "I love you," he whispered.

Rin dropped to the ground and threw her arms around his neck in a warm embrace. She was shaking uncontrollably, and even when the demon lord drew her close it did not stop.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she sobbed, "dear Lord Sesshomaru, don't cry! I'm un-unw-w-worthy of your tears. I was s-s-s-so st-stupid-"

Sesshomaru circled his arms closer around her. "Shh, I forgive you," he assured her.

"B-But I should have known better! I f-f-failed you."

The demon lord kissed her hard on the mouth to silence her, holding her there until he felt her body calm and her breathing slow a little. Then he looked at her, feeling the breeze waft over his exposed tears but feeling no shame in her seeing them.

"Do you still love me?" he asked.

"Yes," the girl sniffled.

"And I still love you: that is all that matters."

"But I don't deserve-"

Sesshomaru rested a finger on her lips. "If I stopped loving you because you thought ill of me, I would be a shallow creature indeed."

Rin took a shuddering breath and dried his face with her sleeve. She tried to reply but the words would not come, and she gave him a helpless gaze; Sesshomaru smiled and withdrew the vial that was the cause of all this trouble.

"Let us not forget about this," he stated, handing it to the young woman.

"What did you have to give for this?" she inquired hesitantly, giving the elixir an uneasy glance.

The demon lord shook his head. "It could not be bought. The Guardian assessed my heart and determined she would give it of her own accord."

Sesshomaru stared at the tiny phial between them, astounded such power could be contained in so very little substance. The Guardian's charge echoed in his ears, reminding him he would still need to look after Rin once she was immortal; he thought again of his mother's admonition years ago that he was not a god, that life was not supposed to be limitless. Well, he had found a way to make it limitless…but what new challenges would come with such conditions? He could not expect to have everything he wanted without consequences- there was always an exchange, a balance to be maintained.

 _If I try to keep it all, I will lose it all,_ he realized.

The demon lord covered Rin's hands with his. "I understand if you don't want it," he said kindly. "I know committing to unending life with me is a little harder than when it was just a few decades."

The young woman smiled broadly. "I don't even need to think twice about it."

"But you should know," Sesshomaru said suddenly, "I have made a decision."

The revelation came to him all at once, and what was at one time unthinkable now unexpectedly became the clear path. There was only one way he could truly protect her, and he would do it without reservation.

"I will not pursue my empire any further."

Rin's jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. A disbelieving gurgle of some sort sounded in her throat, but that was all. Despite the words just spoken, Sesshomaru smiled.

"I cannot keep both you and my kingdom. If I continue my conquests, inevitably I will make strong enemies and be drawn into many battles; even with the mightiest of defenses, there is too great a probability those enemies would slip by from time to time, and they would come straight to you, and our children." He stroked Rin's hair. "Any one of those times could mean your death. It's not that I doubt your ability to defend yourself, but it is simply a mathematical fact that over the course of a hundred centuries there would be too great a chance of someone harming you in order to get to me."

"I-I'm willing to take the risk-"

"No. You mean well enough, but I have seen many a war in my time, and the tactics are always the same; I will not live in constant fear of you becoming one more statistic." Sesshomaru massaged her head again. "I will keep a certain number of allies, and maintain a healthy perimeter of territory to ensure we have no quarrelsome neighbors." He touched his forehead to hers. "But I will go no further."

"Lord Sesshomaru," the girl pressed urgently, "you've spent your _entire life_ building your empire."

"I have something that means far more to me now."

Rin humbly bowed her head. Sesshomaru drew the cork out of the vial and gave it a slight push toward her.

"Drink up, then; and didn't I tell you not to call me 'Lord' anymore?"

"I don't feel worthy," the young woman muttered.

The demon lord playfully kissed the tip of her nose. "Come on now, don't insult my honor here. I've thoroughly humiliated myself before you and just informed you I'm going to sacrifice my life's work- the least you can do is drink the silly stuff."

Rin laughed slightly in spite of herself, staring back with loving wonder. "You're really going to give it up?" she said in a small voice.

Sesshomaru set the elixir to her lips. "I'm going to force this down your throat if you don't drink it right now."

With a giggle, Rin tipped the liquid into her mouth and swallowed. There was no shimmer of light or magical change in appearance, and for a moment the demon lord wondered if the Guardian had tricked him. Rin slowly grinned, and the sparkle in her eyes danced brighter.

"It did something, I can tell," she breathed out, her smile spreading further.

"How do you know?" Sesshomaru asked with rapt attention.

The young woman shook her head. "I can't…I can't quite put my finger on it. I just know I feel better than I have in my entire life." Her face was beaming with joy. "Sesshomaru, I'm immortal!"

There was much laughing and kissing and crying after that. It was some time before either of them could calm down, but at last the demon lord rose and pulled the girl to her feet.

"Come," he instructed. "Let us go convince your friends they still have a ceremony to perform."


	31. Epilogue- A Dream Unending

**Epilogue- A Dream Unending**

Sesshomaru had never attended a human wedding ceremony before, and he had to admit most of the pomp and circumstance were entirely lost on him. Drinking from three different sake cups in a particular order made absolutely no sense, and frankly he felt ridiculous standing in front of this crowd as he repeated words after the monk Miroku, who was presiding over the union. Every time his cynicism started to flare up, the demon lord took one look at Rin and felt his annoyance melt away; she was dazzling in her white kimono and flowered crown, graceful as a butterfly and lovely as an angel. Even Izayoi- who by now was a healthy and very mobile fifteen months old -could not aggravate him when she managed more than once to struggle free from her father's grip and run around like a wild banshee.

Miroku reminded his listeners of the solemn task that was being undertaken, exhorting the bride and groom to respect one another in all things and never forsake their sacred vows. As the monk explained the importance of staying faithful, Sesshomaru understood a little better why mortals required this ceremony to take place: it brought to mind just how special a marriage was, calling on the nobler side of humanity to rise up and accept the challenge unflinchingly. A final prayer was said and a cheer went up, and the demon lord assumed this meant he was allowed to move freely once again. There was feasting and chattering for an endless stretch afterward, with people Sesshomaru had never even met coming up and bowing and wishing him well (he did not see how accepting greetings from perfect strangers could possibly constitute good luck).

Of course, Kagome was a sobbing happy mess while Inuyasha simply gave some disbelieving shakes of his head; it seemed Sango and Miroku had placed some sort of a bet regarding the event, as the demon slayer elbowed her husband in the gut not too long after the ceremony's close and demanded he "pay up." Even the young fox demon Shippo attended, since he had been a good companion to Rin during her earlier years in the village before his advanced training began to occupy so much of his time. He joked and laughed with the bride as amiably as a devoted brother, and Sesshomaru begrudgingly admitted to himself that he might let the little demon visit now and again if Rin wished it- provided Shippo left his trickster paraphernalia at the front door.

At last the sun set and a chill began to settle over the evening, and it was time to go. Sesshomaru tucked Rin under his right arm and wrapped his mokomoko around her; goodbyes with joyful tears were said (entirely on the part of the women, of course), and before anyone could think of another excuse to detain them longer the demon lord flew up into the twilight. Little was said between him and his new mate as they traveled into the darkening night. Rin kept her arms firmly wound around his waist, watching the stars come out and smiling sweetly whenever their eyes met; now that it was finally quiet, Sesshomaru's mind drifted back to the night he asked this woman to be his mate, as well as the feelings he'd experienced so keenly at the time. With no obstacles left in his path to prevent him from acting on those instincts, Sesshomaru felt a stirring deep inside unlike anything before- he was intrigued and somewhat unsettled at the same time.

Before long they were travelling over a valley full of trees and lakes, bordered in the distance by majestic mountains that would no doubt host the perfect place to watch future sunsets. Tonight, however, Sesshomaru headed to the middle of the valley, where it became evident as they drew closer that a large castle was located. It was not on the same monstrous scale as the palace his mother lived in, as the demon lord thought Rin would likely find such a place too pretentious; this was a comfortable size, with plenty of room for future additions to the family, as well as….

"A garden!" Rin gasped as lights flickered into existence below them. "It's just like the one your mother has."

The castle was surrounded by a wide and sprawling garden on all sides, filled with the lanterns she had admired so much during their visit. Sesshomaru touched down on one of the stone pathways and let Rin wander around to take in her new home. His father had built this place for the human princess Izayoi, filling it was all manner of wonderful flowers and trees for her delight, but they were never able to share it together; now that he better understood his father, the younger demon lord thought it only fitting this should now be his and Rin's home. The palace and grounds had fallen into disrepair from neglect, so Sesshomaru commissioned Jaken to assemble a team of more artistically inclined demons and restore the place to its former glory. Since his trip north had taken so much longer than expected, the group had plenty of time to put everything in order down to the last detail.

As the newlywed couple toured the inside of the castle next, Sesshomaru sensed a nervousness about Rin that grew as they made their way further up. He clasped her hand and squeezed it affectionately, trying to reassure her, but despite her grateful smile he knew her jitters had not subsided. Eventually there was only one room left, but when the door was opened Rin's feet seemed suddenly glued to the floor outside.

"Sesshomaru," she whispered, "I'm scared."

The demon lord brushed her dark hair back tenderly. "I cannot truthfully say I am without reservations myself." He picked the young woman up and cradled her close. "Let me help you."

He carried her inside and pushed the door shut with an elbow. The room was beautifully decorated, lit by the soft glow of more paper lanterns; the bed was an unconventional style Sesshomaru had come across in some of his past travels deep into the continent, bearing more resemblance to an enormous soft pillow than the thin mats everyone else slept on. Personally, he found this design far more comfortable. Rin kept her arms around his neck, carefully watching a place on the wall across from her as if she were unaware of anything else.

"I-I guess you can put me down now," she said after a long silence.

Sesshomaru did as she requested, and they both stood looking at the other's feet for some time. Tenseiga and Bakusaiga were set on the nearest table, and the flower circlet joined them momentarily. Brief glances were exchanged before dropping again to the floor. Sesshomaru contemplated his options for several minutes until a new thought struck him, and suddenly he wondered if he was being selfish.

"Rin…" he began, shifting his gaze to her bowed head. "If what those men did to you still hurts too much, I don't want you to do this."

The blushing bride finally looked up.

"If you're not ready, you can tell me."

The young woman gave him a gaze full of mixed emotions. "It's…it's not like that," she answered shyly. "I _do_ want this: I have for a long time. But now that we're actually here…I don't know where to start."

Sesshomaru cupped her chin in his hands. He could feel her trembling; there was indeed fear in those beautiful eyes, but he also saw the love that had brought them here in the first place, and that was all he needed to know she spoke the truth.

"Then let me take the lead, this first time," he gently responded. "I promise to go slow."

Rin took a deep breath and still looked rather terrified, but she nodded.

"I trust you."

The demon lord moved in to kiss her, but she stopped him at the last second.

"Just…just don't hold back on my account, okay?" She gave a little smile. "No one said slow couldn't be intense, right?"

Sesshomaru returned her smile. "As you wish."

He kissed her, relishing the taste of her lips as they touched his. After several such caresses he felt her arms embrace him, and he knew it was her way of letting him know she was fully surrendering. Sesshomaru kept one hand in her hair and let the other slide down to her waist so he could hold her closer, still kissing her; he paused for a moment then and simply embraced her, breathing in the scent of her hair and rocking her gently from side to side. Then he inclined his head and kissed her cheek, followed by her neck. Rin sighed and Sesshomaru repeated the motion, recalling how sensitive her neck had been that night on the hillside; she responded with a passionate kiss to his mouth, and the demon lord returned the gesture. His fingers instinctively went to work on the knot in her obi, and this time she did not resist him.

Just as he felt the sash go slack his feet bumped against the bed's edge, and with a shift of his weight Sesshomaru sent them both tumbling down. Rin landed on top and kissed him again, fingers woven through his hair, seemingly unaware her kimono was only loosely hanging around her now. They rolled back and forth several times before somehow coming up to a seated position, Rin's legs firmly hooked around her husband's waist. She was in the process of pushing open his kimono in between kisses when something made her pause to look down at what Sesshomaru had already noticed- her robe was merely caught around the elbows by now, covering nothing but her lower arms. Her eyes locked with Sesshomaru's, her natural modesty slightly shaming her even now, and without a word the demon reached down to free her from the clinging sleeves.

"Here," he said quietly, not taking his eyes off her, "I think this is what you were looking for."

He guided her hands to the knot in his own sash and helped her pull it free. Thirty seconds later his kimono joined hers on the floor, and he pulled her down to lay flat against him; the sensations that followed this action were stunning to say the least, and when he rolled over to put Rin on her back she let out an uncontrollable moan. Sesshomaru pressed himself against her, kissing every inch of skin he could reach, his hands running along her body as sensual pleasure kicked into overdrive. Rin gasped every time he found a new pressure point, and he found she could elicit a groan or two from himself when she moved just right. It was a constantly evolving tapestry of discovery as they lost all track of time in one another's arms, awareness heightened to the point of euphoric giddiness yet razor sharp sensitivity. Their naked forms were one, intertwined in an exquisite dance neither could have ever imagined but both were all too happy to perform.

Sesshomaru made love to Rin again and again, his passion only increasing as the night drew on. With no form of distraction present his feelings for her were magnified a hundredfold, and those feelings took him into places he never before thought he might go; his body was filled with a longing ache to somehow express everything she meant to him, driving him to a deeper level still of intensity. This woman had given herself to him for all time to come, and he was not about to accept that gift lightly. They had both endured countless hardships to reach this point, and such patience deserved joyous celebration. As Rin kissed him once again, Sesshomaru wondered if even an immortal lifetime would be long enough for him to show her all the love in his heart.

* * *

It was well into the morning by the time Sesshomaru awakened. Sunshine spilled across the wooden floor as the sounds of nature in full swing drifted through the window. The demon lord had never slept so soundly before, and it actually took a few minutes for his mind to fully engage at its usual level of competency. He shifted the blankets slightly and turned to look beside him; Rin still slept, a contented smile on her face and an arm draped across his chest, her fingers curled throughout his hair. Evidently she had grown cold during the night, as she was now clad in his own kimono, despite it being far too big for her. Sesshomaru found the sight amusing and gave a silent chuckle, a movement which registered somewhere in the young woman's unconscious mind and prompted her to open her eyes. She said nothing but merely gazed at her mate with loving devotion, which the demon lord had no doubt mirrored his own expression.

Rin came closer and tucked herself into the crook of his arm, and Sesshomaru massaged her neck with his fingers. They held one another in blissful silence, each thinking their own thoughts, yet also of one mind. Occasionally their eyes met and a fresh smile would appear, followed by a gentle kiss, before returning to their previous state of being; their chests rose and fell in perfect unison, limbs woven in an embrace that made it difficult to know where one began and the other ended. Peace enveloped them on every side, and their hearts were full.

"I love you," Sesshomaru said tenderly as he brushed a strand of Rin's hair behind her ear.

"I love you," Rin answered before leaning in to kiss him.

It was better than the sweetest nectar in all the world. The demon lord fondly traced the girl's chin as she pulled away.

"That will never grow old," he informed her.

"Never."

Another shared smile. Sesshomaru was certain he had smiled more in the last few hours than he had in his entire existence.

"What shall we do today?" he inquired with a quiet voice.

Rin matched his tone. "It doesn't matter, as long as I'm with you."

"My sentiments exactly," Sesshomaru purred, stroking her soft skin as he drew her into another intimate press of lips.

"Any ideas?" the young woman asked when she had the chance to speak again.

"I promised you I would show you the world," the demon lord replied as he slowly sat up, pulling his wife with him. "Today seems like a good day to start, wouldn't you say?"

Rin grinned. "There _is_ a lot of it to see. We wouldn't want it to get away from us."

Sesshomaru smiled back as he held her hand to his heart. "After all, we only have all of eternity left to live."

He thought about his own words as they dressed, and he felt a warm thrill of joy course through him once again. This sweet and wonderful woman smiling up at him as he brushed her hair, this gentle dove who placed a kiss soft as a flower petal on his cheek, this beautiful soul that broke through the solid ice encasing his heart so long ago with one smile…all of this was only their beginning. He would not lose her to the fate that had plagued her steps since her youth and tried to snatch her away on so many occasions: that monster was defeated at last, its teeth broken and claws shorn off at the roots, never able to rise again now that its prey had ascended so high. What had once seemed an impossible and taunting dream was now an amazing reality.

They stepped out onto the balcony in the shining sun, the rays streaming down from a clear blue sky. A light spring breeze eased past, bearing the scent of cherry blossoms and a hundred other fragrances from the garden below. Sesshomaru pulled Rin close and prepared to take flight, feeling her arms wrap around him in eager anticipation of their coming adventure; he glanced down at her sparkling eyes, noting her childlike charm had not faded with the gift of immortality.

"Are you ready?"

Rin nodded. "I'll always be ready to follow you anywhere."

Sesshomaru smiled, and they rose into the heavens together.

* * *

 **A/N:** Well, that's all, folks! I hope you enjoyed it; thanks so much for making it all the way through! This is my very first ever fan fiction, so I hope I didn't break any cardinal rules of the genre. I'd love to know your thoughts- favorite moments, questions, etc. This was a labor of love over the last year and couple months, and I'm really happy I got to share it with you.


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